LET’S HAVE A LAUGH AT BREXIT

COZ WE HAVEN’T DONE IT FOR A WHILE

Mrs May has gone on a walking holiday in Wales.. and we all know what kind of farce that sort of thing can conjure up. Imagine her alone with her trusty advisor, Philip, for a whole week… [shudder].

So let’s laugh while we can, because heaven knows what crap she’ll come up with while she’s away.

So, it occured to me that there are now two Brexit parties lining up for the EU elections.

Firstly there’s Nigel’s party, launched last week (which, if I’m not mistaken, has lost its leader already) and then there’s super loonie “new” UKIP (even nuttier than before), which seems to have lost a lot of support, not least that of its own MEPs.

From 24 members elected, they are down to four serving members at the last count.

The defections are probably because of the hard right-wing stance of the latest in the party’s sad succession of leaders since Mr Farage declared “job done” and resigned back in 2016.

Mr Gerald Batten (at least it wasn’t Battenberg!) and his close advisor, Mr Tommy Robinson or (on Sundays) Mr Stephen Yaxley-Lennon make some of the previous holders of the post seem almost normal. Just imagine being too nutty for the likes of Coburn?

The thing is, that while I admit that there is going to be a fair number of people who will want to vote for one of the hard-line Brexit parties and secure a no deal Brexit, didn’t it occur to them that having two parties standing in every seat is going to split the vote and let other parties through the middle?

Ho hum…

So don’t be surprised if you get calls from insurance companies. The Tories have to make money somehow.

 

And Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat…

Maybe add 14 o’clock and 15 o’clock…

Making your mind up…

Jeez… who told you that doing deals with the devil was a good idea? Actually, I’m not sure that I know which one of them I’m addressing that to. Both?

Un saut dans le vide

It seems a bit obvious to me that what Mayhem is doing by refusing to hold any vote until halfway through January and by announcing that companies should prepare for no-deal Brexit, is her trying to scare politicians into voting for her half-arse crappy deal because, in the kind of turnabout we have come to expect from her, it seems that a bad deal IS in fact, better than no deal.

Soooo, David, I guess you were forgetting about the utter chaos that Brexit has caused?

And Mickey, is this the path that we chose?

John, pa gardiau oedd yr oeddem yn eu dal? Jokers? Give us a rousing chorus of “Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau”… oh no… I forgot… my bad.

Aye, DOCTOR Liam, so easy that you’ve managed to make an arse of it?

A better trade deal; that we have at the moment? Maybe you could explain how that works. Did you go to Hogwarts by the way?

Gerard, old thing? Did Tommy tell you that? You’ve been had. It was probably the tea that did it. Most Europeans prefer ‘un café’. PS, how’s the party membership going, by the way? Down to single figures yet?

Still, you may not be able to eat them, but they sure do look pretty, even when you’re very very hungry.

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Oh yeah, and how about this?

"Go back to Skye".

Before he could even speak in the Commons, the SNP's @IanBlackfordMP was heckled by a Conservative MP. pic.twitter.com/pjXYUMncs9

— Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) December 18, 2018

BATTEN BATTERED

…AND FILLETED

Gerard Batten tweeted that LBC launched a "propaganda war against UKIP". This is Nick Ferrari's fiery response.@NickFerrariLBC pic.twitter.com/iMPy7HHXwU

— LBC (@LBC) December 4, 2018

JUST HOW RIDICULOUS CAN THEY GET?

“The kilties”? Well, yes, there were quite a few guys in kilts (it is, after all, our national dress) and some in trousers and shorts… and a few in relatively outlandish costumes. Nothing, however, quite so ridiculous as a catsuit.

Ya tosspot.

A typical load of rubbish.

Oh gee, this new Empire where we hold all the cards and can have our cake and eat it is shaping up to be great fun.  I can hardly wait…second hand cake anyone? Still, I’ve always believed in leading by example. I, therefore, suggest that from now on, MPs should be forced to furnish their second homes from rubbish dumps, so saving the taxpayer millions on microwaves, bedding, rugs, sofas, widescreen tellies, central heating systems and duck houses. I’m not sure if there is a moat cleaning service available at the dump though.

That seems a little unfair given that UKIP got 24 seats, Labour 20, Tories 19, Greens 3, SNP 2, and Plaid and Liberals got 1 each. Maybe the BBC just REALLY like UKIP? After all Hannan, the only Tory invited, might as well be UKIP.

 

 

 

DON’T GET YOUR HOPES UP, TESS

 

A union flag between two dustbins and tweeted by a “UKIP influencer” (whatever that is). Presumably that’s someone who “influences” Paul Nut-Tall. (Not something I’m keen to investigate further.) Munguin prefers the two dustbins sans drapeau.

 

Good article in the Guardian:

Of course, if you read some “papers” (we won’t pretend that they are “NEWSpapers”), this is a day to rejoice, for Britain will no longer be shackled to the biggest, richest trading block in the world. Soon it will be free to do trade deals with Trump, Erdogan, Netanyahu and their likes.

And, of course, these trustworthy gentlemen all have the interests of Britain very firmly uppermost in mind. So stand by to be royally stuffed.

Even more frightening, as I may have mentioned before, this whole catastrophe is in the monumentally incapable hands of Mssrs (and I mean that literally) May, Johnson, Davis and Fox.

Scotland’s future can hardly look bright with these people in charge.

SNAPS ON SATURDAY

 

One of these days this man is going to take responsibility for something. If I worked for him I’d be seriously considering my future.

 

 

The crisis in the NHS won’t go away. It’s largely down to inadequate spending, an ageing population, more treatments being available, and staff leaving because of job insecurity (Hunt said he would replace then as soon as he trained some Brits up), racism or overwork. Maybe Mt Westminster’s totally legal tax dodge being challenged would be a start to solving one of these problems. Or maybe the government needs to find that £350 million a week that it promised the taxpayers.

 

 

Of course one of the reasons we are short of staff may be that Europeans don’t want to work here anymore, and who could blame them when all you need to deserve to be murdered is a fluent knowledge of Polish or any other foreign language?

 

 

I’d be inclined to suggest that Ruth speaks for herself. I think that by and large most Europeans and those from farther afield think we are rather nice. Maybe Ruth’s experience is down to something more personal.

 

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

 

You actually believed it?

 

 

Jacob, bringing control back home in an 18th century kinda way.

 

 

So, why, one might ask, are MPs exempt from this new law?

 

 

Bringing back control of our courts to England, erm sometimes.

 

 

BNP or Gordon Brown?

 

 

 

Working for everyone?

“I’ve got a target to reach, and they are nothing but numbers to me.”

 

 

Choice is yours…

It’s strange how all the things the Tories accuse the SNP of plotting are things they are doing themselves. Think about it.

I guess if you print a variety of stuff, something is bound to be right, at least occasionally.

But don’t worry, there SHALL be enough money to do up parliament and the Queen’s Town House, and find suitable accommodation for the Ugly Sisters. I know causing you great anguish.

Don’t you just love it when they try to use street speak? And I had been hoping that Ruth was going to be IMproperly brilliant!

Looking forward to this Ruth. Enlighten us. Put our faith in Mr Fox, you say? Bwa ha ha ha ha ha . Properly funny!!

Well, what do you expect from a dead smoked fish?

And lo, with the passing of time, the prophecy came to pass.

It’s Me …Munguin.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

David Lammy, Labour MP for Tottenham, has said that he will vote against Article 50 in the forthcoming debate in the UK parliament.

He gives the following reason:

“75% of my constituents voted to Remain. We have a parliamentary system and this is a parliamentary vote. Shouldn’t I represent my constituents? My constituents voted overwhelmingly to Remain, so I will represent my constituents in Parliament, not someone else’s constituents.”

Makes sense to me. i hope that all MPs decide to represent their constituents.

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Suzanne Evans, Ukip wants democratic control of judges.

If you listen to political programming then you’re going to hear a lot of stuff you consider to be stupid. Let’s be honest, many politicians (from all parties) talk rubbish.  But this takes the biscuit. Not only is she stupid, but she is dangerously stupid. Controls on the judges, other than those imposed by the law? I think not.

The legal system is far from perfect, in Scotland or in England, but the last thing we need is politicians interfering with it. Just where would it end?

Judges are controlled by the law. The law is controlled by parliaments. Parliaments are democratically elected (under whichever system the people accept).  That’s close enough for me.

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Eight military bases in Scotland are to close according to the UK defence secretary (or maybe his press person, because he appears to be auditioning for a part in “The Thick of It”). Remembering that we were told scornfully that the Scottish military would be tiny partly because we’d be too small and too poor to actually have much of a military, and partly because no one would want to serve in it because it would never go to war. Make of that what you will.

.@DavidMundellDCT “if Scotland had voted for independence it wouldn’t have had a military footprint at all” #bbcgms

(Apparently, as you can see, Mundell is still selling us the line that an independent Scotland wouldn’t have a military footprint. If that means not going around the world causing strife, death, famine, destruction and general misery, then I’m all for it.  Jeez, can’t these people see that there is more to a country than being a big military power and having bloody clout?)

Anyway, I digress. I’m also reminded here of the tax offices that would move to England were we to be independent (and did anyway but this time NOT being replaced with Scottish tax offices).

And there’s an expert talking…

I was wondering, given Jackie Baille’s love of quoting exaggerated figures on Faslane, if she’d like to give us her estimate of the number of jobs that will be lost to the Scottish economy because the UK seems to believe that the only military capacity it needs is American-controlled Trident submarines?

It’s all about taking back control, huh?

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