BREXIT WON THE FOOTBALL

So, whatcha saying, Ben? England only won because they had Brexited? Isn’t that a tad insulting to the skill of the players that they were dependent for success on the Brexit Fairy? Also was booing during the German national anthem part of this Brexit of yours? And what about the guys sing F*** the Pope? Is this a Brexity thing too?
You just don’t get aristos of any quality these days.
I think, and I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong, that no one in the serious German press ever indicated that if Britain left the EU, England would always lose at football. Fair to say that the Germans may have fruitloop press like the Daily Express, so I could be wrong about that.
I have a feeling that the highly intelligent Frau Doktor Merkel will have a good deal more on her mind that football when she has the misfortune to meet that blithering buffoon, like trying to get him to stop stuttering and finish a sentence maybe? I wonder how Johnson will explain his people’s appalling manners regarding the booing of the German National Anthem. And, if I were her, I’d be wondering what ever happened to Great British Values about which we hear soooo much. Also i trust he feels just a little embarrassed by the sore winners of his country (below) that Great English fans showing how classy they are tweeting about a little child, sad that her team has lost.

WARNING: THIS IS UNSAVORY IN THE EXTREME
Happy to say that the account no longer exists.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson watching the UEFA European Football Championship England v Germany game.
Still, Boris and Wee “Scottish” Willie are happy.

All that aside, it’s just a game of football and I congratulate England on their win… as I would have done with Germany, had they been the winners.

SNIFFY’S AS FUNNY AS A CRY FOR HELP FROM SOMEONE YOU ACTUALLY LIKE

Plus ça change, plus c’est pareil… à travers les années

So John sent me some cuttings from Private Eye over the last 10 years or so. We thought it would be good to show that somethings never really change.

Dates shown, where I know them.

2012
2014
2016. The Express challenges the Beano for comic supremacy.
2016. The news you WANT to hear wherever you are. Note: I think that the Eye may have over-egged the English vote. I’d say that 53.3% of the vote is not “by and large for”.

Thanks John…

JUST FOR A LAUGH

1. A special honour for Mr Hancock from Antarctica’s Lord Pengwin King at Flippers.
2. Poor man.
3. Poor man, indeed, your majestic magnificence.
4. And you thought Hancock was the bottom of the barrel?
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L210623ce-CMYK copy
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7. Struth, the WHO are foreigners. What would they know about Pandemics, compared to say, Johnson or Hancock?
8. Because, bless them, they are worth it and they have large bellies to fill, whereas hungry poor kids… pffff.
9. Boris went to Eton and Oxford. Why would he want advice from plebeians?
10. It’s all about size with the Brits, isn’t it?
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20. Near enough is good enough…eh?
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Thank you to Brenda, Andi, John, Erik.

SOPPY SUNDAY

Bunch of bananas | International Animal Rescue
1. Breakfast banana.
2. Sticky Willie invaded Munguin’s grounds.
3. Nice to see your friends.
4. Woof.
5. I’m a Saffron Toucanet… I wonder why…
With Its Runoff Election, Guinea-Bissau Hopes to Move Past Years of  Instability
6. Bissau.
7. Look away now, DonDon… Another Bulgarian 8-legged beast.
A small marsupial in white cloth.
8. Dibbler, a small carnivorous marsupial, part of the same family as the quoll and the Tasmanian devil.
A close-up of a turtle head in foreground and shell in background
9. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-06-15/santos-wants-wastewater-releases-near-endangered-turtles/100209376
10. Hungarian flower bed.
11. Cup Moth caterpillar.
12. En Route for the Rocks of Solitude, Tuesday last week.
13. I say, Munguin, is it safe for a baby raccoon to come out to play?
14. Munguin’s favourite part of the gardens.
15. Munguin senses that something on these pants may be used to make drink…
16. Um, yeah, the view is great from up here. Now how do we get down?
17. Oslo.
Protection of Ocelots | Animal Welfare Institute
18. I look cute but I can be pretty vicious to take care.
19. Munguin’s honeysuckle.
Beni's Love Affair with his Beloved Bananas - YouTube
20. It must be my birthday… Ooops, I got caught

Thanks to John, Kay, and the team in Bulgaria, Quokka in Australia, Daniel in Hungary and Norway, Derek in Scotland, and Munguin in Antarctica.

HOW THE WORLD LAUGHS AT THEM…

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Dear Britain,

With respect, can I ask you if you realise just how much everyone is laughing at you?

Let’s face it, you had a bit of luck at the beginning of Johnson’s premiership that much went unnoticed. Trump was still in the White House babbling incoherently about sticking infra-red or ultraviolet lights up folk’s backsides to get rid of Covid.

The Real Reason Donald Trump Appears When You Google 'Idiot' - TheStreet

And there was his bromance with Kim Jong Un which the world followed as if it were a Mills and Boon novelette.

Then he moved into his “they stole the election” phase and was taking everyone and their auntie to court to get court certified results overturned… all without success. (It seems that appointing a few judges to the Supreme Court doesn’t cut much ice when you’re 100% wrong and frankly loopy.) That kept the world’s eyes off Big Brittany for a while.

And there was Rudi, his hair die and the pose on the bed. Nuff said.

Finally, of course, the coup de grace, in fact the coup d’état.

Yes, an insurrection sponsored by the outgoing president, in the world’s supposed greatest democracy. How about that for a finale?

Well, of course, Wee Britain, no one was that interested in the carryings on of a relatively insignificant little island off the coast of Europe, while the so-called leader of the free world was playing the clown on the world stage.

You don’t go watch Willie and the Wall Bangers in the back room when Justin Bieber is on the main stage.

But now Trumpy’s gone, the USA is back to having a relatively ordinary human being for president (dull!!) and folk are looking around for someone else to laugh at. These are, after all, stressful times.

Et puis voilà, Britain, the answer to the world’s “maiden’s prayer” for some light relief.

Is Isle of Wight stupid enough to fall for latest Tory promise? | Isle of  Wight County Press

Day after day providing people all over the world with something to titter over.

Hancock’s Half Hour was never this entertaining (well maybe Matt Hancock’s Half Hour is). But eat your heart out John Cleese, Morecambe and Wise, or Jennifer Saunders.

Please Enjoy Gavin Williamson's Greatest Moments As Defence Secretary |  HuffPost UK
Never thought I’d see him without a Union Jack and a portait of the queen.

Of all of them, though, Gavin Williamson has to be the the chief clown. This article in the Independent sums up the extent of his talents pretty well.

Her Majesty’s Secretary of State for Smoking, Drinking and Spilling Stuff Down Your Front.

But as time goes on and these people, Johnson the Joke, Pathetic Patel, Woeful Williamson, Ridiculous Rabb, Sniffy the Gove, Hopeless F Hancock, Terrible Trader Truss, Coffey the Creep, Useless Eustice, Union Jack ***, the “Unelected Official” Frost, Krazy Kwarteng, Dopey Dowden… not forgetting the new recruits to your team, Wee Willie and the Tartan Clothes Horse, become the norm, rather than a half-hour comedy you have a giggle at then forget forever, we really need to start thinking about what is happening.

High ambitions of politicians who used cocaine like Michael Gove must come  to snort

I’ve had a word with some of my colleagues here at Munguin’s Republic and we’ve decided that the best thing for Scotland would be to dump you and your lunatic cabinet regime and forge a new future as the fully-fledged Nordic nation that we are.

Prince William Calls Hospital Staff Amid Third Covid-19 Lockdown |  PEOPLE.com

You’ll be even more amusing from a distance.

LET’S HAVE ANOTHER LAUGH

1. His devotion to Scotland lasted for a while then? And what, as well as wanting Starmer’s job, he’s gonna punch him? What’s that about?
2. Umm, are you sure about that costume, mate?
3. Both of them have praised private health insurance. But good joke, pretending Hancock can read.
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13. I anticipate a Nobel Prize here
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Thanks to Brendan, Erik, John

“Wir sind Großbritannien und wir haben einen Traum, alle Menschen in einem großartigen Team zu vereinen”.

Ein Großbritannien über alles

“We are Britain and we have one dream to unite all people in one Great Team”.

JEEEZZZZZZ

Boy Blunder, Gavin Williamson, the English Education Secretary has “encouraged” pupils in England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland to sing this song on Friday and dress in Red White and Blue.

I can’t imagine that in Wales or Scotland this will go down well. I remember being “encouraged” to sing “God save the queen” in school and the punishments I got for saying…”erm, not on your ******* life”.

So, if kids are sent to school in red white and blue, I hope that people will remember that they are children and, at least the younger ones, probably had sod all choice in the matter

I assume that the idiot Gavin has no idea where or what Northern Ireland is, and consequently may have no idea how much trouble he and his hairbrained scheme is likely to cause.

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They’d probably be safer sending the Party Plan Duchess off for a quick tour of Wales with a daffodil and a leek; then Northern Ireland with a shamrock.

We can’t wait to see the latest tartan accessories we paid for again in Scotland.

I’d say if you want more people to love your Britain, then probably stop making it the hell hole that it is, try to make it better for all of us, instead just Tory donors and friends of forth rate cabinet ministers… and maybe, just maybe, some will.

Singing stupid sub-Eurovision song contest- standard garbage songs ain’t gonna cut it for most of us.

The idea has also been lampooned as “desperate” on social media.

Mike Jones said: “North Korean levels of propaganda, this. The Union is finished, just let it die peacefully.”

Walis George said: “What nonsense is this?! Britain is an island not a nation, while the UK is a political union made up of four nations.”

YesCymru committee member Niki Jones said: “If I told Mared this, at 6 years of age, she would already laugh in my face. She is so Welsh in her identity, she’d think I was joking with her or something.”

Paul Thomas said: “Strong Soviet Union vibes.”

Stace Williams said: “Everything about this is terrible, somebody fire the lyricist immediately.”

But listen up here, Gav…

This IS a song… and this is a singer too!!!

That’s what I’ll be singing loud on Friday, but I won’t be forcing teachers to make children sing it!!!.