All that aside, it’s just a game of football and I congratulate England on their win… as I would have done with Germany, had they been the winners.
So John sent me some cuttings from Private Eye over the last 10 years or so. We thought it would be good to show that somethings never really change.
Dates shown, where I know them.
Thank you to Brenda, Andi, John, Erik.
Thanks to John, Kay, and the team in Bulgaria, Quokka in Australia, Daniel in Hungary and Norway, Derek in Scotland, and Munguin in Antarctica.
Thanks to John, Marcia, Tony and Dave.
With respect, can I ask you if you realise just how much everyone is laughing at you?
Let’s face it, you had a bit of luck at the beginning of Johnson’s premiership that much went unnoticed. Trump was still in the White House babbling incoherently about sticking infra-red or ultraviolet lights up folk’s backsides to get rid of Covid.
And there was his bromance with Kim Jong Un which the world followed as if it were a Mills and Boon novelette.
Then he moved into his “they stole the election” phase and was taking everyone and their auntie to court to get court certified results overturned… all without success. (It seems that appointing a few judges to the Supreme Court doesn’t cut much ice when you’re 100% wrong and frankly loopy.) That kept the world’s eyes off Big Brittany for a while.
And there was Rudi, his hair die and the pose on the bed. Nuff said.
Finally, of course, the coup de grace, in fact the coup d’état.
Yes, an insurrection sponsored by the outgoing president, in the world’s supposed greatest democracy. How about that for a finale?
Well, of course, Wee Britain, no one was that interested in the carryings on of a relatively insignificant little island off the coast of Europe, while the so-called leader of the free world was playing the clown on the world stage.
You don’t go watch Willie and the Wall Bangers in the back room when Justin Bieber is on the main stage.
But now Trumpy’s gone, the USA is back to having a relatively ordinary human being for president (dull!!) and folk are looking around for someone else to laugh at. These are, after all, stressful times.
Et puis voilà, Britain, the answer to the world’s “maiden’s prayer” for some light relief.
Day after day providing people all over the world with something to titter over.
Hancock’s Half Hour was never this entertaining (well maybe Matt Hancock’s Half Hour is). But eat your heart out John Cleese, Morecambe and Wise, or Jennifer Saunders.
Of all of them, though, Gavin Williamson has to be the the chief clown. This article in the Independent sums up the extent of his talents pretty well.
But as time goes on and these people, Johnson the Joke, Pathetic Patel, Woeful Williamson, Ridiculous Rabb, Sniffy the Gove, Hopeless F Hancock, Terrible Trader Truss, Coffey the Creep, Useless Eustice, Union Jack ***, the “Unelected Official” Frost, Krazy Kwarteng, Dopey Dowden… not forgetting the new recruits to your team, Wee Willie and the Tartan Clothes Horse, become the norm, rather than a half-hour comedy you have a giggle at then forget forever, we really need to start thinking about what is happening.
I’ve had a word with some of my colleagues here at Munguin’s Republic and we’ve decided that the best thing for Scotland would be to dump you and your lunatic cabinet regime and forge a new future as the fully-fledged Nordic nation that we are.
You’ll be even more amusing from a distance.
Thanks to Brendan, Erik, John
Ein Großbritannien über alles
“We are Britain and we have one dream to unite all people in one Great Team”.
Boy Blunder, Gavin Williamson, the English Education Secretary has “encouraged” pupils in England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland to sing this song on Friday and dress in Red White and Blue.
I can’t imagine that in Wales or Scotland this will go down well. I remember being “encouraged” to sing “God save the queen” in school and the punishments I got for saying…”erm, not on your ******* life”.
So, if kids are sent to school in red white and blue, I hope that people will remember that they are children and, at least the younger ones, probably had sod all choice in the matter
I assume that the idiot Gavin has no idea where or what Northern Ireland is, and consequently may have no idea how much trouble he and his hairbrained scheme is likely to cause.
They’d probably be safer sending the Party Plan Duchess off for a quick tour of Wales with a daffodil and a leek; then Northern Ireland with a shamrock.
We can’t wait to see the latest tartan accessories we paid for again in Scotland.
I’d say if you want more people to love your Britain, then probably stop making it the hell hole that it is, try to make it better for all of us, instead just Tory donors and friends of forth rate cabinet ministers… and maybe, just maybe, some will.
Singing stupid sub-Eurovision song contest- standard garbage songs ain’t gonna cut it for most of us.
The idea has also been lampooned as “desperate” on social media.
Mike Jones said: “North Korean levels of propaganda, this. The Union is finished, just let it die peacefully.”
Walis George said: “What nonsense is this?! Britain is an island not a nation, while the UK is a political union made up of four nations.”
YesCymru committee member Niki Jones said: “If I told Mared this, at 6 years of age, she would already laugh in my face. She is so Welsh in her identity, she’d think I was joking with her or something.”
Paul Thomas said: “Strong Soviet Union vibes.”
Stace Williams said: “Everything about this is terrible, somebody fire the lyricist immediately.”
But listen up here, Gav…
This IS a song… and this is a singer too!!!
That’s what I’ll be singing loud on Friday, but I won’t be forcing teachers to make children sing it!!!.