JUST FOR A LAUGH

1.

Irish Judge:  “In the case of €20 000 embezzlement, the court finds you not guilty.”

Patrick: “Does that mean I can keep the money?”

2.

3.
4.

GIVE a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

5.

A DUCK is was standing at a busy roadside, waiting for a break in traffic as the cars go roaring by. A chicken walks up and says: “Don’t do it, mate. You’ll never hear the end of it.”

6.

7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.

WHAT is one to make of this comparison of friendship among women and friendship among men?

A woman doesn’t come home one night. Next morning she tells her husband she slept over at a friend’s. He checks with her 10 best friends.  None of them know anything about it.

A man doesn’t come home one night. Next morning he tells his wife he slept over at a friend’s. She checks with his 10 best friends. Eight say yes, he did sleep overnight. Two say he’s still there.

16.

A TALKING horse walks into a bar and asks to see the manager.

“Excuse me, good sir. Are you hiring?”

The manager looks the horse up and down: “Sorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?”

The horse snickers. “Why would the circus need a bartender?”

17.

18.
19.
20.
21. I’m sure they are waiting for you to do just that, Dougie.
22. Ummm, yeah. Erm sort of.
23.
24. Anyone got any suggestions for what they could try next time? Coloured pictures, maybe?
25. And, As the rest of the world moves on...

Thanks to Andi, John, Brenda, Brenden, Erik and Graham.

SOPPY SUNDAY

Orphan Orangutan Smiles for the Camera - ZooBorns
1. I’d say hello to you, but my thumb tastes really good.
2. I’m here with my horns to give a suitable welcome to William and his tartan accessory, Kate Middleclass.
3. What? Who are they then? Can we play with a ball?
4. Banded Stilts.
5. A very superior looking Bulgarian Puddock, along with his Head of Transport, Martin.
6. Then and now. (Photographs taken 100 years apart.)
7. Ladybird Spider in Bulgaria.
8. Bangui, Central African Republic.
Duck Teeth and How Ducks Eat
9. Quack quack… I assume you speak duck, what with you being humans and all, and supposedly the most intelligent animals on the planet <snigger snigger>.
10. Le coucher du soleil.
11. Anyone want to play snowballs?
12. Yes, we do…

13. The Kiwis are fair growing in Scotland.
14. Nothing nicer than a cuddle.
UK: Goat Zoom Calls Is the Latest Lockdown Trend Making One Farmer $68K
15. Eyes front for the photo, you daft old goat.
16. San Marino. The first country in the world to be completely G5. Now that is probably world-beating.
50 Cat Pictures You Need to See | The Best Cat Photos
17. I’m a scary cat. Are you afraid?
18. Comfy chair for the weary picnicker on a recent walk.
19. I’m busy with my dinner, so i’ve ceded my place at the end to a bear that wants to say goodbye.
20. Now I’m waving goodbye. I’ve been waiting all week for my moment in the spotlight. For us animals, it’s a bit like being the centre spread in Hello Magazine, except, um, Munguin’s a bit stingy with the old spondulicks.

Thanks to John, Kay, Martin, Derek, and Bertie the Bear for that cute wave.

ALL OUR YESTERDAYS

Edwin Poots announces resignation as DUP leader - Belfast Live
1.
2.
3.
4. Yes, there is a reason they are close together, which John will explain.
5.
1960's BBC Comedy Archives - British Classic Comedy
6.
sweets | Childhood Memories of growing up in the 1950s and 1960s.
7. When Crunchie was the proper size, eh Terry?
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16. These were the days, when you could actually get away!
17.
1950s UK Hoover Magazine Advert Stock Photo - Alamy
18.
19.
Gilbert O'Sullivan: Out on His Own, BBC Four | The Arts Desk
20.

Thanks to Tony, Marica, Dave, John and Munguin for allowing me a sip of his champagne. This is thirsty work.

SIR SIMON SAYS….ERM, NOTHING

Sir Simon Stevens is head of NHS England until the end of July, when he will be retire, go to the Lords, and be replaced by the next head of NHS England.

We assume it will be by Lady Harding (she of £37 billion Track and Test black hole and sundry other cockups).

Image

She has now “applied” for the post, having mentioned a couple of weeks ago on social media, that she was thinking of doing so.

She is well known to Hopeless Handcock, and will be a good match for him, so I assume he has given her the nod.

Anyway, Sir Simon don’t seem to think a lot of old Matt the Muppet.

MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS

**********

Oh look, he managed to say all that OTT sh*t in English. Not a word of Latin. If it hadn’t been Mogg, I’d have suspected sarcasm when he was talking about the “F*ing useless” Handcock.

**********

Image
Anyone up for it?
Is it the Morecambe and Wise Show, ‘Allo, Allo, or a Whitehall Farce? Mr Rees Mogg needs to start treating this with a little more respect… and when the hell is that useless Speaker going to do something about the farce that is ‘questions to ministers’. Questions deserve answers and ministers need to act like ministers, not some third-rate music hall comedy turn. World beating idiots.

**********

See what I mean. We genuinely want to know the answer to the question, this airhead makes a snide remark that presumably she finds amusing, and the Speaker dozes quietly in his comfortable chair.

**********

I’m pretty sure they were warned about this. World beating shortage of staff. Bravo Bojo.

**********

And clubs seem smaller these days too…

**********

Well, quite so, Mr Ross.

**********

RANDOM THOUGHTS

The Australia deal is going well, then?

**********

Hilariously, the Scottish Tories in North Ayrshire, have demanded that they NOT be called the Scottish Tories, because they say it is derogatory and an insult.

And the Provost has asked, nay ordered, the SNP to refrain from using the term.

After raising a point of order in the meeting, Councillor Ferguson for the Tories said: “It is a derogatory term and I would prefer if you call us by our appropriate name, which is the Conservatives or Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party.”

Councillor Gurney, for the SNP, pointed out that on Twitter, the party is handled @ScotTories… a name they chose for themselves.

You really couldn’t make them up.

Angus Robertson on Twitter: "“Dumb and Dumber: Red faces for top Tories.  Ruth Davidson and Douglas Ross humiliated as vote of confidence in Sturgeon  ends in embarrassment”. Front page of today's @Daily_Record…
Don’t call us Tories, say the Tories.

I remember vaguely that Michael Howard tried to get the media and the public to start calling the Conservatives Conservatives, presumably because he knew that their name was derived from a Middle Irish word meaning thieves or villains.

Anyway, Munguin has decided to respectfully ignore the request and you will doubtless be relieved to know that Tories of any colour will continue to be known as Tories on this blog with an occasional expletive added for good measure.

**********

Oh… damn. says Truss. Did I get something wrong? Cheese.

**********

Derek Louden@LoudenDW · 5h

It turns out that 60 times the present level of Aussie beef & lamb can come in immediately under Boris’s deal with no 15 year phasing in period after all. https://independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/australia-trade-deal-tariffs-farmers-b1866496.html?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=INDNEWS%2316062021&utm_term=IND_Headlines_Masterlist_CDP


Michael Russell@Feorlean
The Secretary of State against Scotland , the lamentable Alister Jack, ( @ScotSecofState ) was assuring the nation on Sunday that there would be effective limits on total imports & a long period of transition. Neither were true so either he wasn’t in the loop or he lied.

The pledge to protect farmers for 15 years has been dropped.

Incidentally, these details were released in Canberra but suppressed in England.

**********

Something resembling hell': how does the rest of the world view the UK? |  Politics | The Guardian

ANTI-LOCKDOWN PROTESTERS HOUND BBC REPORTER

It isn’t just on-line radicalisation though, is it?

It’s the mainstream press too, Express, Telegraph and Mail in particular, and, for all I know (because I don’t watch it and almost never now listen to it) it’s the BBC itself which seems to be a mouthpiece for the Tory English Nationalist Government. No wonder Dross can’t take his hands away from his eyes. He’s got to fight for this lot.

But it seems to me that if the Johnson government is continuing to restrict freedoms, the threat from this virus must indeed be still very real.

It is, after all, the last thing they want, although the arrival on these shores of so much of this Delta virus is, of course, to a fair extent, the fault of Johnson and Patel, who refused to close the border with India, presumably for fear of annoying Narendra Modi, with whom they need a trade deal.

According to Public Health England, early data suggests that Delta is more likely to lead to hospitalization than Alpha and deaths have been recorded of people who have had both vaccinations. Ninety percent of new cases in the UK are Delta.

Those who have not had any vaccinations are at very considerable risk from it, and I suspect that many of those protestors will have never worn a mask and will have refused their vaccinations. And yet, they shouted right in that man’s face.

And the police did nothing! (I’ve tweeted this video to the Met as I’m sure many others have).

As someone pointed out, if he’d been a statue of a slave trader he’d have been better protected.

And it’s not just in London or Engand this is happening.

More and more in shops in Scotland I see mask-less people (including in Stobswell, one of the high risk areas in Dundee) who make no effort to distance from other shoppers and walk past the sanitising stations at the door, increasing the risk that whatever they had on their hands will stick to the first items that they examine without buying and leave for someone else to take home.

At this rate, and with this level of disrespect for the regulations, and other people, I wonder how long it will be before we are back to total lockdown.

JUST FOR A LAUGH

1.

2.

3.

4.

L210609ce-CMYK copy

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.


David M. Herszenhorn@herszenhorn
·Message just now from handler about Boris Johnson’s closing G7 news conference as summit host:

“Unfortunately the UK does not accept journalists from foreign outlets”

Global Britain. Right.

11.


Adam S. Business Owner, Vintner, #BDS,#FBPE@Adam_SH69

Please spare a thought for proud brexiter Mike. Owner of a seafood restaurant overlooking River Dart in Devon. He called LBC upset that his European staff have gone & left him with a staff shortage. “I’m waiting tables at my age. The wife is behind the bar polishing glasses”.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

Image

18. Has he become Mrs Thatcher?

Image

19. Maybe you should have tried it in easier English and restricted it to no more than half a page in large letters.

James Felton@JimMFelton

If it came home she would deport it

Priti Patel@pritipatel · 5h

COME ON ENGLAND Flag of England

20. I wonder will she do that for Wales and Scotland, or does she not think they exist?

Thanks to Brenda and AndiMac