A LESSON ON TORY CLASSINESS FROM AN EXPERT

!mone
Her Serene Whatsit

Her Nobleness The Grand Duchess Gloriana of Mayfair, otherwise known to readers of this blog as Mrs Moan, has blocked me on Twitter, a fact which I share with some pride.

I only found out because she is having some spat with Stewart McDonald over her number of appearances in the House of Lords and their relative general statuses in the rigid English class system and I was originally unable to read what it was about.

However, Munguin has connections and it seems to have gone like this:

A lady called Rachel Kelsey tweeted that Baroness Massey was talking about children’s rights post Brexit in the immensely important European withdrawal bill in the House of Lords.

Baroness Massey speaking now in Lords on families and children and Brexit implications- been dipping in and out, but think this is the first speech that has addressed family law. Glad to hear it said in terms that Children’s rights will be prejudiced by Brexit

Stewart then pointed out that while this was going on Her Nobleness from Mayfair was selling jewellery on QVCTV (as shown below).

 1h1 hour ago

In contrast her fellow parliamentarian, Baroness Mone is right this moment selling jewellery on QVC. Thank goodness this EU Withdrawal Bill isn’t important

At which time the Aristocratic one let rip:

!Mone

I had a wee look at the site They Work For You, and it seems that their compilers may have missed some of Her Importantness’s appearances, although it is fair to say that one can vote without having contributed to… indeed without having even attended, the debate. I have no way to find out how many times she has actually voted. If anyone does, I’d be happy to know.

I was impressed with Her Highness’s command of English. Maybe in the refined air of the House of Lords, or the equally classy QVC studios that’s the way one does things.

amichelle

You can never tell with blue blood. They are a race apart from mere commoners for life such as we.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

!1344CZ-apprentice-centre-locations-card-wide
Yeah, right…

After the end of January, apprentices who were employed by Carillion will no longer have a job or a training place.

The outsourcing company had a £6.5m public contract to train apprentices. It seems they must have spent this money on paying the senior management massive bonuses. Oh well, that’s Britain.

£david
Have you any idea of what a complete dick you look…

Of course, the UK government in the form of Cabinet Office minister, David Lidington, who goes under the bizarre ancient title of Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, had previously promised that folk working for Carillion full-time would be paid and trainees would not lose out. Not sure of his definition of “lose out”.

What is it they say about Tory promises… something to do with pie crusts?

**********

carillion_short
…For Directors and Shareholders

Ah, yes, and while we’re talking about Carillion, it seems that they “wriggled out” of payments into the company pension schemes as things got worse, all the while paying shareholder dividends and bosses’ bonuses, according to MPs.

Still, I’m sure these apprentices will be happy to know that their betters are not suffering in any way, as befits Brits of their station. The good old UK. All in it together. Broad shoulder. What what!

**********

!£$
MPs Warn? Or what? You gonna make us, like?

And in other news, the cost of a Brit passport is to rise by 17%, which is a lot given that inflation is only 3%. (LOL LOL LOL, oh the UK government makes me laugh…3%!) But the Brits assure us that it has nothing, absolutely NOTHING, to do with the fact that they are going to be BLUE and the best passports ever in the whole wide world (‘cept obviously for American Trumpian passports which are even betterer).

No honestly.

Really!

And ever so BLUE.

**********

!!!!
To be fair, can you even imagine what his hair would be like if it got wet?

**********

 

 

AS IF EVERYTHING WASN’T ALREADY FALLING DOWN AROUND HER EARS…

 

dup6

Last summer, after her unnecessary and disastrous general election campaign, designed to give her a strong and stable majority as she went into Brexit negotiations, the Maybot was obliged to purchase the allegiance of Northern Ireland’s weird party of creationists, the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) for a sum of somewhere between £1 billion and £1.5 billion to make up for the majority that she had just lost.

 

(Just a little aside here. I’m always a bit dubious about anything, party or country, with the word “democratic” in the title. If you need to tell people you are democratic, you probably aren’t… Democratic Republic People’s Republic of  Korea, Democratic Republic of the Congo, People’s Democratic Republic of Algeria… are you noticing a pattern?)

I’ve nothing against a coalition government or the compromises that are, perforce, a part of that kind of arrangement. But this wasn’t and isn’t a coalition arrangement, nor could it be, given the geographical limits of the DUP. It was and is, quite simply, a bribe to get for the Tories and May, the votes of DUP members in the House of Commons.

There are those who say that it was pretty much unnecessary. The DUP are the right wing, Protestant, unionist, queen and country (in short Tory) party of the province. Hardline Brexiteers, they would have voted, almost undoubtedly, with May even without a bribe.

 

£ 00
Nice scarf there, Arlene!

 

But May couldn’t be sure of that, and what the hell, it wasn’t her money she was giving away.

(Another aside here: When the bribe was announced it caused consternation. Money above and beyond the budget to devolved government is supposed to be based on the  Barnet formula. In other words, if NI gets money, so must, proportionately, the other countries of the UK. So our brave wee Viceroy Fluffy made a point of telling the BBC that he would not allow Northern Ireland to benefit from this sort of money without Scotland getting its fair share too. And that was the last we heard of it as Mrs May directed him to fetch the biscuits to go with her tea and he became permanently distracted with the more pressing matters of ensuring that the boss’s refreshments were supplied timeously or returning to the backbenches to be replaced by a wooden dummy….see below.)

 

Image from Harrison Photography - do not delete this IPTC data
Nothing in this glorious part of the glorious United Kingdon is older than 6000 years.

 

Now, however, Gina Miller, the woman who took the UK government to court (and won) on whether or not parliament should have a say on the issuing of Article 50, has sent a legal warning to May that the £50 million pounds already paid to NI as part of this “arrangement”  may be illegal, because it was given without being voted through parliament.

“It beggars belief that this government is once again putting itself above the law and seeking to undermine the normal constitutional and legal processes,” Miller said in a statement.

“Spending public money requires proper parliamentary scrutiny and accountability – and the making of these payments is no different.”

So, we shall see what we shall see…

 

maybot
Who has the more wooden smile?

 

Does anyone have an example of something Mayhem the Maybot has done that hasn’t gone horribly wrong?

**********

THIS COULD PUT YOU OFF YOUR SLEEP

Applies to the next permanently appointed Conservative Party Leader after Theresa May.
Jacob Rees-Mogg
4/1
Matthew Hancock
50/1
George Osborne
66/1
David Davis
9/2
David Lidington
50/1
Nicky Morgan
66/1
Boris Johnson
6/1
Liz Truss
50/1
Jesse Norman
66/1
Amber Rudd
9/1
Johnny Mercer
50/1
Liam Fox
66/1
Gavin Williamson
10/1
George Freeman
50/1
Ed Vaizey
80/1
Andrea Leadsom
10/1
Priti Patel
50/1
Owen Paterson
80/1
Ruth Davidson
12/1
Graham Brady
50/1
Grant Shapps
80/1
Michael Gove
12/1
Alan Mak
50/1
David Cameron
100/1
Jeremy Hunt
16/1
Chris Grayling
50/1
Anna Soubry
100/1
Philip Hammond
16/1
Stephen Crabb
50/1
Jo Johnson
100/1
Tom Tugendhat
16/1
Robert Halfon
66/1
Iain Duncan Smith
100/1
Justine Greening
16/1
Kwasi Kwarteng
66/1
Theresa Villiers
100/1
Dominic Raab
18/1
Nick Herbert
66/1
Adam Afriyie
100/1
Sajid Javid
25/1
Daniel Hannan
66/1
Ken Clarke
100/1
James Cleverly
25/1
Zac Goldsmith
66/1
Maria Miller
100/1
Penny Mordaunt
33/1
Michael Fallon
66/1
Ben Bradley
100/1
Greg Clark
33/1
Heidi Allen
66/1
Nigel Farage
100/1
Damian Green
33/1
Rishi Sunak
66/1
Nick Boles
100/1
Anne Milton
40/1
Tobias Ellwood
66/1
William Hague
150/1
Rory Stewart
40/1

 

Still, look on the bright side. There’s not a mention of this useless muppet, even thought they are looking at the likes of Nigel Farage as the next Tory leader.
!mudd&
One view is that no one wants the job until May has completely and utterly wrecked any chance of a deal of any sort. Someone (anyone) could then step in a make a show of making the best of a disastrous job.
Crashing out with no deal (which you’ll remember May said was better than a bad deal), will be a red line for Remainers in the Tory Party, of which there are many.
Alternatively, signing up for a deal that will mean that the UK remains in the single market, customs union, takes the EU’s directives in most areas, accepts rulings from the ECJ, and pays more or less what it pays now (but doesn’t get Farming subsidies, Academic subsidies, Social Fund subsidies, Infrastructure subsidies) will be unacceptable to the Tory Leavers, of which there are also many.
Surely that must happen later this year (October) when the deal has to be agreed between Barnier and May and sent out to parliaments across Europe, and of course the EU parliament, for 6 months of debate and discussion before ratification.
By that time something concrete about the Irish border and the Spanish-Gibraltar border will have to have been agreed. And as that is a near impossibility, I’d not put money on the Maybot surviving much longer than it all coming crashing down then.
I suspect that next year’s conference it will be more than slogans falling off the walls. and the P45 will be real.
Just for a laugh, we’d like to know who you think would make:
a) a serious next leader who could repair at least some of the mess she and Cameron left.
b) which of the above (or others) would make the best comedy leader.
c) which of them would be most likely to lead to Scotland voting to leave the ridiculous mess and possibly rejoining the EU as an independent country.

SOPPY SUNDAY

 

n baby or9
Morning all. I’ve gone some nice pics for you to see this week.. .
n animals
What an odd looking animal!
n dogcar
I’m getting my first driving lesson.
n tigre petit
I’m a bad-tempered looking wee Sumatran Tiger.
n buff
We’re like on guard duty. Halt, who goes there? Friend or Foe?
n em
Nothing like a stroll in the countryside…
n fox
I bet you thought I was just a lump of snow…
n cabin
A room with a view. Munguin lives in style.
n grand teton wyoming
Grand Teton, Wyoming.
n new lambs
We’re new. Erm, is it always this cold?
n callanish, lewis
Callanish, Lewis.
n frog
Couldn’t find a lily pad so this will have to do for the siesta.
n cat
Hello, cat librarian here.
n norway
Norway.
n pb
Get out of my way.
n cows in Scotland
Cold? What are you? A wimp?
n humming
Humming birds.
n hollow rock MN
Hollow Rock, Minnesota. 
n joey
My name’s Joey, and this is my friend. I know he’s only a human, but he’s quite agreeable once you get to know him.
n t
If you go down to the woods today…
n lovely
What can you say?
n babyor0
Ah, you’re back. I was just having a little something to tide me over till tea time. Hope you enjoyed the tour. Come back next week.