Ha ha ha ha ha ha…

 

amay9
I knew if we kept her long enough, we’d find a use for her.
abg
Stayin’ alive?
ammt
Munguin wishes to echo these sentiments. If there’s any left over Munguin Towers needs some paint.
ammt1
NO. My chancellor says you get far too much anyway. Go away.
ammt3
Sorry, peeps. Arlene cleared me out.
atrump (1)
Trumpisgreat? Thanks to David for sending.

 

Random Thoughts

Apparently, Mrs May spent £20,000 on an RAF flight for Ms Foster from London to Belfast after their talks last week. The magic money tree must still have been bearing fruit at that time because there are cheap flights for as little as £14 from London to Belfast.

$

I know they are new besties, but seriously, as Arlene doesn’t actually have a job in Northern Ireland, what with her being the cause of the breakdown of the power-sharing government, it wouldn’t have hurt her to go to the airport and wait for RyanAir like the rest of the human race have to do.

Ruth must be incandescent. I bet, despite her being a colonel, May has never laid on military transport for her… and she HAS got a job….well, two actually.

**********

I’ve always thought that Michael Gove was some sort of a cartoon character, not to be taken seriously, from his idiotic beginnings as Education Secretary, to his ridiculous position as Lord Chancellor.

$$

On tv today he defended the tuition fees charged in England (the steepest in Europe) and said that people who didn’t go to university shouldn’t have to subsidise those who do. Mr Gove went to university in 1985. There were no tuition fees then.

Mr Gove went to university in 1985. There were no tuition fees then.

£!1

Most enlightened countries realise that it is to the benefit of everyone if we have an educated workforce. More and more jobs indeed require that people be educated to at least bachelor level. So in most of Europe governments make it as easy as possible for people to get to university. And most recognise that people’s ability to take up tertiary education should be based on their ability to learn, rather than their ability to pay.

Of course many people benefit from the education of doctors, lawyers, dentists, nurses, engineers, architects, teachers, etc. That seemed not to occur to Gove.

agove1

It’s a pity that Mrs May was “persuaded” by whoever to return Gove to the Cabinet. He may be an asset to Mr Murdoch inside the cabinet but he’s a bit of a liability to the rest of us.

**********

!£

Well, who would have believed it? And the car companies are mainly in the North East of England, which voted so decisively for Brexit.

abre

So, if I had voted to put the country at a huge economic, cultural, education and social disadvantage because I was bent out of shape about us using the metric system and wanted my £ : s : d back along with Sts : lbs : oz and Gallons, quarts, pints and gills, not to mention furlongs, poles, yards, feet and inches, and all the rest, then I think I’d probably be ashamed to write to the papers about it. Oh, and I’m not entirely sure that someone who prefers a system based on the number 10, to a system, build around any number other than 10, could necessarily be called a fetishist.

**********

 

aa

Reminds me of the story of the supermarket queue in California where a woman was talking on her phone. A man behind her thought she was talking in Spanish and told her that she was in America, she should speak English. The woman explained that she was actually a native American, and she was talking Navajo, NOT Spanish. She politely suggested that if he wanted to speak English, he should go to England!

Incidentally, although I enjoy languages and always try to learn a little of the lingo of whatever country I’m going to visit, I’m not ever able to do much more than say hello, thank you, please, and a few other words. I’m pretty grateful then that no Hungarian launched an attack at me on a bus in Budapest for speaking English. Hungarian has to be the most complex language I’ve ever heard spoken.

**********

a00

It’s as well, when the Orange Order are marching anywhere near your house, to be prepared to clean up after them as you would with your dog.  A bucket of disinfectant and a brush will be nnecessary. They seem not to be potty trained.

abrill

This would seem to be a reasonable response to them, though.

I’m a great believer in freedom of speech and of freedom to assemble, but these people, quite apart from their lack of toilet training, shout racial abuse at Catholics and Irishmen alike.

I have to ask myself if we want this kind of racism and sectarianism on our streets.

 

OH, ERM THIS IS EMBARRASSING, NURSE

YOU SEE, THERE IS A MAGIC MONEY TREE AFTER ALL… IT’S JUST NOT FOR THE LIKES OF YOU…

 

ammt4
Now, is that enough, Arlene dear? Do let me know if you want any more. You will let me be prime minister, won’t you? Now, don’t worry your pretty little head about the Colonel. We’ll send her off to the front line in Syria if she bothers you.
!£
Yes, your majesty, whatever you want. Please let me know if you want anything else. You will let me be prime minister, won’t you?

 

So the Trogs get a billion or so and they can spend some of it on giving their nurses a bit of a pay rise.

And, just to show that we do care about old people and the safety of their accommodations, this elderly couple will receive an 8% increase in their income, taking them up to £82.2 million a year

Now, how many countries treat their elderly like that? Scotland would have a black hole if they treated their nonagenarians that way.

Doesn’t it make you proud to be British, with these broad shoulders, pooling and sharing all over the shop?

Royal accounts – some key figures

  • £82.2m – Amount the Queen is expected to get from the Sovereign Grant in 2018/2019
  • £4.5m – Cost of the Queen and the Royal Family’s official travel
  • £288,697 – Amount spent on the Royal Train travel for 14 trips
  • £1.2m – Cost of replacing doors on the orangery at Windsor Castle
  • £154,000 – Estimated cost of Prince Charles and Camilla using “Cam Force One” – the official government plane – to visit Italy, Romania and Austria

OH, WHAT A FLUFFY MUDDLE…

IMG_20170525_154128877

Munguin is perplexed.

On Sunday, in the Tory “Sunday Post” it was reported:

DAVID Mundell has promised Scotland will get a funding windfall if any extra cash goes to Northern Ireland as a result of the Tories striking a deal with the Democratic Unionist Party.

The Scottish Secretary said he’d block any “backdoor funding” for Northern Ireland if it meant the other devolved nations missing out.

Today Colonel Davidson, who may be Mundell’s boss, or not, as the case may be, said the opposite.

ar

So, which is it?

amay9

As far as we can make out both Fluffy and the Colonel are members of the UK Cabinet in England. So who has Mayhem’s ear? Both? Either? Neither?

Who speaks with authority?

What is going to happen?

Surely if Mr Brokenshire* is to get a billion pounds for the province from some serious shaking of that magic money tree which, only a few weeks ago didn’t exist, then surely England, Scotland and Wales should be getting some money in proportion to their populations.

asaarty

After all, it’s not just Northern Ireland’s health service that is falling to pieces. It’s not just their nurses that have had a reduction in pay in real terms since 2010.

So, we know this is not a well put together government. We know that they are at daggers drawn. We know they pretty much loathe their useless leader. What we don;t know is if this bribe to the troglodyte party has consequential or not.

Any chance we can get that clarified?

Theresa May to a nurse who hasn’t had a pay rise in 8yrs: “there’s no magic money tree” May to DUP: Here’s £1.5 billion so I can keep my job.

*I say ‘Mr Brokenshire’ because, as far as I know, he is still in charge of the day to day running of Northern Ireland since Arlene Foster brought down the government there because she refused to stand down as first minister while she  was investigated for corruption or incompetence over her wood burning scheme which cost Northern Ireland nearly half a billion pounds. This refusal precipitated the resignation of the then Deputy First Minister, and the subsequent inevitable collapse of the power-sharing government.

COHABITATION IN HELL

 

adown
What a displeasing sight. Where’s her suitcase? Which bedroom is she having? That’s not a male of the opposite sex with her, is it?
adup
And you thought we were joking about them being loonies. If only Jesus had turned water into beer, maybe things would have been different.
adup2
They don’t care for freedom of choice in religion. If you’re not a hard right Christian infant, tough.
adup1
Remember the Tories threatening that Corbyn would take Britain back to the 1970s? They forgot to mention that the Tories would take people back to the 1930s, and with the DUP on board the 1750s. I wonder when the witch duckings will start.
adup9
Amazing this irresponsible woman, with her woodchip burning scheme and her obnoxious beliefs, is holding Scotland and Britain to ransom.
amay8
Better hurry. They just sold off another chunk of the health service to Branson.

adupadup2

adup4
The Vicar’s daughter getting a lecture about the Bible. There is no such thing as evolution. It all took 6 days, right?
adup5
I always thought she had a rather fluted voice. Now I know why.

And Finally: Today Mrs May in is France to meet with President Macron. She is sure to congratulate him on the stunning success of his new party “En Marche” in the first round of the National Assembly elections. He will probably tactfully reply that the weather has been somewhat indifferent this summer, n’est ce pas?

adupa