RANDOM THOUGHTS

Arlene Foster (Niall Carson/PA)

Just eight hours after telling us that the proposed Irish Language Act (which is keeping the NI Assembly from functioning, and facilitating direct rule of the province from England)  was non-negotiable, Orange Arlene the Dinosaur Denier, said that “Red lines shouldn’t be placed above needs of the public”.

I don’t know who her god is, but presumably, she believes that he made the world and everything in it (including the Irish Language) in 6 days.

“So God looked at all he had done and saw that it was good, except for the pesky Irish Language, which clearly Satan had slipped in while he was on a coffee break.” Jeeeez.

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Image result for Isaac Herzog

Israeli opposition leader, Isacc Herzog, has said that Israel is fast becoming a Fascist state. Oh well, I guess he’s another one of these anti-Semitic blokes going about, eh?

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After all the fuss that Labour and the idiot Murdo made about the Queensferry Crossing, it was, according to Audit Scotland, a well-managed project that came in under budget, although it opened later than anticipated due to worse than expected winter weather.

Auditor General Caroline Gardner said: “There is much the public sector can learn from the way Transport Scotland managed the project and it’s important that the good practice is shared more widely.

“The management of the project delivered value for money and achieved its overall aim of maintaining a reliable road link between Fife and the Lothians.

“Transport Scotland now needs to produce a clearer plan about how it will measure the success of the project’s wider benefits, including its contribution to economic growth and improved public transport links.”

Transport Secretary Michael Matheson welcomed the report’s findings and said a full post-project evaluation was planned for later in the year.

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!!!mundell

Apparently, they were daft enough to let Fluffy be a spokesman for the British Government on the Today Programme. Also apparently, he said absolutely nothing that was even half ways intelligible. Incidentally, BBC’s Today programme has lost 800,000 listeners. The decline in numbers comes amid criticism of the flagship Radio 4 show as it becomes a Tory propaganda broadcast. Fluffy ain’t going to put the numbers up again though!

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brexbus

While ScotRail continues to run the most reliable service in the UK, Southern Rail’s timetable has apparently won the Man Booker Prize for fiction.

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Brexit00
Anyone not thinking about eating rats must be anti-food.

Boris

 

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DAISY, DAISY

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According to Sky, the crisis has been averted (also see Evening Standard). After talks with Davis (and Johnson and Fox) this morning, Maybot appears to have caved (in a strong and stable sort of way, of course) and agreed to a vague end date of 2021 or 2022 for the single market arrangement over the Irish border.

It appears that for the bulk of this parliament then, Mr Fox has no function as he won’t be able to sign a single trade deal, which I guess is more or less what a trade secretary gets paid for. Maybe we should make him redundant and save his ministerial salary for the next 4 years?

And all this is thanks to the fact that Arlene Foster owns Mrs Mayhem and will NOT tolerate ANY differences between Northern Ireland and Britain (except with regard to abortions, gay marriage and their PR electoral system, of course).

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NOW THEN, THERE’S AN INCENTIVE FOR REUNIFICATION…

 

azrlene
Just one thing, Arlene pet, don’t think of bringing your narrow-minded beliefs to Scotland. Come by all means, but leave the bigotry and hatred, along with the orange kit, at passport control. We live in the 21st century here, we are open and welcoming, regardless of creed, colour, gender, sexuality, age, ability, or anything else. We know that’s not your party’s way. We should also probably warn you that our part in your united kingdom is moving towards its final days, so if it’s the queen, beefeaters, house of lords and great British “values” you’re looking for, I doubt if you’d like the way we are moving. Still, I hope you’ll leave Ireland. I’ve always seen you people as part of the problem and not part of the solution.

 

 

AS IF EVERYTHING WASN’T ALREADY FALLING DOWN AROUND HER EARS…

 

dup6

Last summer, after her unnecessary and disastrous general election campaign, designed to give her a strong and stable majority as she went into Brexit negotiations, the Maybot was obliged to purchase the allegiance of Northern Ireland’s weird party of creationists, the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) for a sum of somewhere between £1 billion and £1.5 billion to make up for the majority that she had just lost.

 

(Just a little aside here. I’m always a bit dubious about anything, party or country, with the word “democratic” in the title. If you need to tell people you are democratic, you probably aren’t… Democratic Republic People’s Republic of  Korea, Democratic Republic of the Congo, People’s Democratic Republic of Algeria… are you noticing a pattern?)

I’ve nothing against a coalition government or the compromises that are, perforce, a part of that kind of arrangement. But this wasn’t and isn’t a coalition arrangement, nor could it be, given the geographical limits of the DUP. It was and is, quite simply, a bribe to get for the Tories and May, the votes of DUP members in the House of Commons.

There are those who say that it was pretty much unnecessary. The DUP are the right wing, Protestant, unionist, queen and country (in short Tory) party of the province. Hardline Brexiteers, they would have voted, almost undoubtedly, with May even without a bribe.

 

£ 00
Nice scarf there, Arlene!

 

But May couldn’t be sure of that, and what the hell, it wasn’t her money she was giving away.

(Another aside here: When the bribe was announced it caused consternation. Money above and beyond the budget to devolved government is supposed to be based on the  Barnet formula. In other words, if NI gets money, so must, proportionately, the other countries of the UK. So our brave wee Viceroy Fluffy made a point of telling the BBC that he would not allow Northern Ireland to benefit from this sort of money without Scotland getting its fair share too. And that was the last we heard of it as Mrs May directed him to fetch the biscuits to go with her tea and he became permanently distracted with the more pressing matters of ensuring that the boss’s refreshments were supplied timeously or returning to the backbenches to be replaced by a wooden dummy….see below.)

 

Image from Harrison Photography - do not delete this IPTC data
Nothing in this glorious part of the glorious United Kingdon is older than 6000 years.

 

Now, however, Gina Miller, the woman who took the UK government to court (and won) on whether or not parliament should have a say on the issuing of Article 50, has sent a legal warning to May that the £50 million pounds already paid to NI as part of this “arrangement”  may be illegal, because it was given without being voted through parliament.

“It beggars belief that this government is once again putting itself above the law and seeking to undermine the normal constitutional and legal processes,” Miller said in a statement.

“Spending public money requires proper parliamentary scrutiny and accountability – and the making of these payments is no different.”

So, we shall see what we shall see…

 

maybot
Who has the more wooden smile?

 

Does anyone have an example of something Mayhem the Maybot has done that hasn’t gone horribly wrong?

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

 

a irel
Nope, mate. You hold all the cards.
£!7
Well, you and Arlene, of course.
a kids in poverty EU
Proud of punching above our weight in a lot of things, but clearly not kids’ poverty. Ex-communist countries like the Czech Republic, Estonia and  Slovakia are doing better!
aaaaaaa
I see these Britain First people speak really good British.
a trump2
Not sure there are a lot of people who are fit to walk in the footsteps of Mr Mandela.  But Trump’s not fit to walk in the footsteps of Atilla the Hun!
danny1
Oooops. Forgot, huh?
afruit
What with that and apprenticeships pensioners won’t need a pension to live on…
apension
…which is just as well, given that you couldn’t live on it…
apension1
…however, fortunately,  important people don’t have to.
britian
Ring any bells as to which country they are talking about?
inflation ps sal
And that’s serious stuff…
aeejit
Unlike this tube with his kilt on backside fore. What a wally.

 

 

A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma…

How do you solve a problem like Brexit?

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This is the rough version of what’s happening today… (according to Laura Kuenssberg)

UK Govt – it will all be fine;

Dublin – we can’t budge;

DUP – we won’t budge;

EU – the show is now in London;

Brexiteers – if EU doesn’t bury this bit, for now, May has to walk.

amayq

Meanwhile, the real prime minister has refused to meet with May today.

DUP conference 2017

Interesting times.

THE STATE OF THE STATE

 

amay
I wonder at whom that look of utter loathing was directed.

 

It’s always brought a smile to my face when British Prime Minister after British Prime Minister has trotted around the world in a self-important manner spouting off about democracy.

Surely, Britain is one of the least truly democratic countries in the West, I thought.

After all, we have an unelected head of state whom we were always told was ceremonial and had no powers at all. It turns out that in truth not only does she and her immediate family have immense influence, she and her eldest son, have real powers which they use to have laws changed.

 

aQueen-wearing-the-valuable-crown-562552
Who elected the woman with the expensive hat?

 

They also have the use of the Privy Council, which can make declarations in the name of Her Majesty. These are the law with no scrutiny allowed.

Next, the government can use Statutory Instruments, also known as SIs, a form of legislation which allows the provisions of an Act of Parliament to be subsequently brought into force or altered without Parliament having to pass a new Act. They are also referred to as secondary, delegated or subordinate legislation.

 

aThe-House-of-Lords-Getty
Ruritania.

 

Then there is the House of Lords, the second largest legislative chamber in the world (after the National People’s Congress of China… a country of 1.4 billion people). It comprises firstly of 90 hereditary peers, self-selected by the Earls, Viscounts, Marquesses, and Dukes (which we still have in this bastion of democracy). The rest of us are excluded from voting on who these people should be (and once elected by their peers they can remain there until death). Only other hereditary aristocrats have a vote.

A further two hereditaries sit as of right, because of positions they historically hold in the royal household. (It’s already beginning to sound like something dreamt up for an 18th-century comic opera, isn’t it?)

 

chol
The Marquis and Marchioness Cholmondeley (pronounced Chumly). His marquisness gets to sit as of right in the HoL. (I assume the metal containers are for vomiting in if all the bowing and scraping makes you need to upchuck.)

 

Next in this massive house, are archbishops and bishops of the established church of the state religion. Listen to that: state religion! Finally, there is a rag bag of who knows how many ex-ministers and failed politicians, rich people who have given money to one of the three main parties… and a few oddballs the reason for whose presence can only be wondered at.

 

amoan
The Noble Member for the Isle of Man? Classy!

 

Then there is the supposedly democratic part of governance. The Commons, elected by a ridiculous first past the post system which can give an absolute majority on a vote of around 35%, and in which two-thirds of the seats never change hands. And this all underpinned by a party whipping system designed to keep most MPs very firmly on message.

Under this prime minister, we have seen some rather odd and disturbing developments which further undermine the feeble democracy that we have.

 

boris-johnson-brexit
Boris bringing back control and giving it to the likes of Hunt and Rudd! Sheesh.

 

Ironically they have come about in the wake of Brexit, which was supposed to return power to parliament from supposedly undemocratic EU institutions, like the council of ministers (comprising of elected ministers from the member states) or the European parliament, elected on a proportional representation system.

The first happened when our ridiculously inept prime minister called a general election to prove that she was strong and stable, expecting to win a thumping majority, and in fact lost the small majority she had inherited from David Cameron. Looking more than a little ridiculous she reached out to someone even more ridiculous: the ex-First Minister of Northern Ireland and leader of the DUP, currently under investigation for the mishandling of a large sum of public money, Arlene Foster.

 

£
Arlene cash for ash Foster.

 

The DUP agreed to use its 10 members to back the prime minister in certain matters (because of EVEL, Irish MPs cannot vote on any legislation that is England only) in return for £1.5 billion. Pretty much a bribe, using public money…our money!

Next, May decided to “fix” the committee system so that, despite not having a majority in parliament, the Tories would have a majority of members on every important committee in parliament.  (Somewhat ridiculously they have more members than any other party on the Scottish Affairs Committee)

ahit

Finally, May has brought in and had passed in the Commons, a Bill that will give ministers the right to alter the law without any reference to parliament. The powers have been nick-named Henry VIII powers, after England’s most authoritarian monarch, but many commentators feel that they resemble much more closely The Enabling Act (1933), which allowed Hitler to bypass the Reichstag and rule by ministerial (his) power.

It is a dangerous road to take, and as I said, all the more ironic because, apart from xenophobia, it seems to me that the biggest cries from the popular press were that British laws should be made exclusively by British representatives in a British fashion in Britain, mindful of Great British values (whatever they are). And of course that we keep being told that we MUST respect the  British people who voted for Brexit.

Ho hum, funny old world.