RANDOM THOUGHTS

Sturgeon and HM the Queen

Oh, how the Express made me laugh today.

The headline read:

Shock as Nicola Sturgeon refuses to curtsy to the Queen as she visits Holyroodhouse

Actually, there is no evidence that she REFUSED to do so. She apparently simply bowed her head a little, which broke no protocol. So it was all a big fuss about nothing.

The article opened:

SCOTLAND’S First Minister Nicola Sturgeon showed no sign of a curtsy when she met the Queen yesterday. Instead, Miss Sturgeon shook hands as the monarch visited the Palace of Holyroodhouse – the royal residence in Edinburgh.

The Queen and Nicola Sturgeon

The Queen, 93, wore a floral dress for the meeting and appeared in pink at a garden party.

It appears that the Express just wanted to get some of its little old lady readers tutting and shaking their heads in horror. They will have been relieved that, without any further ado, they could read what the queen was wearing, both when she met Nicola and when she later appeared at a garden party.

Well, it’s important stuff, that!

So in case there are any little old ladies reading this and who give a damn, here is the pink outfit, because you can never have too many pics of Liz, right?!

The Queen

If you are gagging for further information, you should probably read the Express article, but I can save you the bother by telling you that Anne wore something green, Eddy looked a complete muppet in a top hat… and Andy Airmiles looked, well, fat.

Anyway, the point is Nicola didn’t make an almighty fool of herself like her English counterpart with her knees almost on the floor and her chest almost bared!.

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I’ve always thought that Ann Widdecombe was as mad as a box of frogs. I mean the only sensible thing she ever said was that Michael Howard had something of the night about him.

As a Home Office minister, she often said or did slightly bizarre stuff and then when she retired from politics and started being a “tv personality” she was even more outrageous, if less entertaining.

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However, in her latest incarnation, Widde is at her weirdest.

She seems to see Brits in the same light as slaves rising against a cruel master. ‘There is, she told the parliament, a long history of “oppressed people turning on their oppressors”.’

“Nous allons, wir gehen, we’re off”!

Well, Old Annie can add polyglot to her list of qualifications! 

I suspect that in these initial days of the parliament, people will simply laugh at the immaturity of the Brexit party with their refusal to face the front when “Ode to Joy” was playing and their idiotic speeches about being slaves and threatening to turn on Britain’s oppressors.

But I have a feeling that it won’t be long before the Europeans tire of this nonsense, which the BP is doing, presumably in order to stir up even more xenophobia at home, in time for what is becoming an ever more likely general election in the late autumn!

The answer to them may very well be:

Pour l’amour de Dieu, allez! Um Gottes willen, gehen! For God’s sake, go!

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Oh, welcome to Scotland, Theresa.

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Prime Ministers, Presidents and Chancellors? Any Taoisigh there?

The head of government in Ireland is the Taoiseach (plural Taoisigh).

Given that she listed the titles of other people sitting around the table in Brussels, she might have had the manners to mention the Irish head of government by his title, rather than lump him in with presidents, prime ministers and chancellors.

Taoiseach does not translate as prime minister… but, Google informs me, as ‘chief’.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

!ha2
Munguin was happy to welcome President Trump Biscuit for drinks (bring your own) at Munguin Towers.

I’ve no time for Sajid Javid, but he was the only senior cabinet minister who was denied an invitation to the multi-million-pound dinner for the extended Trump family at Buckingham Palace yesterday.

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I wonder why that was…

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It seems that, much to Mayhem’s embarrassment, the president of the US has indicated that the NHS is on the table for negotiations in a future trade deal.

Everything, indeed, is on the table. Now in fairness, I didn’t hear him say that he wants to privatise the NHS, just that it will be on the table.

Nicola Sturgeon has said that the Scottish NHS must never be on the table, but we all know that she could, at present, be overruled by someone as insignificant as David Mundell.

There’s a thought to worry you.

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trumpcrowd2

trumpcrowd

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Penny Mordant, who I am told is the defence secretary (it’s hard to keep up with the ever-changing UK cabinet as they keep on walking or being fired), wants to use the Army to deal with rising violent crime rates in England, which in itself is a rather frightening situation.

Perhaps if the government that she is a part of funded the police a little more generously then there would be less need to make use of the armed forces to keep the peace on English streets.

However, I noted at the same time that violent crime in Scotland is down by 33% over 10 years and I can’t help wondering if this is just a sneaky way of getting us Scots to subsidise the lack of English police.

On the matter of violent crime, I saw that Birmingham, England, now has a scheme (launched today)  to provide stab bags or bleed control kits to pubs and nightclubs in the city. These kits contain all you need to staunch the blood flow if one of your mates gets stabbed on a night out. The need for these bags has convinced me that I won’t be visiting any nighteries in Brun in the near future!

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What on earth is that orange thing with grandmama?
Jeez, Trumpy’s speech is boring and I’m stuck next to this loser. Must have a word with the servants. That ceiling needs painting. Will it never be time to go home?

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER LOAD OF LEADERSHIP HOPEFUL ELECTIONEERING

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Sajid Javid, popularly(?) known as “the Saj” has just announced in a tweet that if he becomes prime minister (don’t laugh, some are even more ridiculous… Munguin) he won’t allow Nicola Sturgeon to hold an independence referendum. (You can laugh now… Munguin.)

Apparently we jocks made a decision in 2014,  and it was a decision that the Tories liked,  so that must be that, presumably for all time, (or as flip flop Davidson said recently, u-turning yet again on a previous statement, for 100 years or so).

Now, we all know the arguments for holding a second referendum, so I won’t over-rehearse them here, but in essence, it comes down to Democracy… you know, the will of the people.

The Yes movement, including SNP and Greens, accepted, albeit reluctantly, that the vote in 2014 went against them. But, being mindful that that vote was influenced by last-minute promises made by David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband and for no particular reason co-signed by the leaders of their Scottish branch offices (none of whom would be your most trustworthy types), both the parties that favoured independence wrote into their manifestos for 2016 election, a proposal for a second referendum should Cameron et al, break their promises (as if), or should there be a dramatic change in the circumstances of the UK.

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Just as well really, because Cameron did break promises, there has been a dramatic change in the circumstances of the UK, and they did win a majority.

It’s worthwhile remembering at this point that a firm plank in the U KOK campaign was the argument that if Scotland left the UK it would be unceremoniously dumped by the EU, it would then go to the end of the queue behind Belarus or Armenia and other such places, membership wouldn’t happen for decades if not millennia, and that that would be an utter catastrophe for the country.

But, given that that catastrophe has been visited upon us, despite voting to remain with the UK and therefore the EU, despite us voting 62-38 against leaving the EU, it’s not surprising that the government and the Green Party are calling for that which was in their manifestos to be respected. You know, the will of (some of) the British people that the Tories keep banging on about.

The recent vote in the Euro elections has only confirmed the split between how Scotland and England vote.

As for a vote in 2014 being seen as binding in 2020, Mr Javid seems to miss the fact that he is a member of a Cabinet that has brought back the same legislation on Brexit to their parliament three times within a few months without any circumstances changing, and indeed was proposing to bring it back for a fourth time until the leader of said Cabinet was given a none too gentle shove in the back with the promise of knives to come.

Javid clearly has absolutely no idea of what is going on in Scotland as his tweet continued:

“Nicola Sturgeon should spend more time improving public services in Scotland and less time grandstanding.”

Image result for how many doctors per head are there in Scotland

The Saj seems to be utterly unaware that on virtually every front, figures show that public services in Scotland are far better than those in other nations in the UK. We have more doctors, more nurses, NHS dental care, more police, less crime, better care of elderly, better coordination between health services and social care services, better trains, free university education and fewer problems with prisons and probation services (mainly down to the happy fact that Chris Grayling has been kept as far away as possible from our country!)

All in all, Scotland is a better place to live than most of the rest of the UK. It might have been an idea for Javid to check this out before he opened his mouth or let his fingers walk across his keyboard.

And, when it comes to “grandstanding”… don’t make me laugh.

What about May announcing her resignation but refusing to go until Trump’s unnecessary and wholly inappropriate state visit is over so that she can demit her benighted premiership on what she doubtless thinks of as a high note.

This is a state visit. May did not invite Trump. The queen did. It’s about pomp and ceremony and tra la la stuff. Yes there are usually talks, but Trump might as well talk to Munguin. Any talks she has with him may as well be about the weather or his suntan. A few days after he gets on the AirForce One, she gets in Removal Van One.

Why could not her deputy, Livingstone or whatever he’s called, have run the government side of the affair? May is finished now, never mind in June.

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I’d also remind the Home Secretary that telling jocks what they can and can’t do or have, is unlikely to impress us much and rarely has the desired effect. Although clearly, he is not trying to impress us.

His audience is the mainly English Tory MPs in Westminster and the mainly English, mainly elderly members of his party. So jock bashing sounds like a clever plan.

Anyone think he has got much of a chance?

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On the subject of this awful leadership contest that we are all having to go through, even before it has begun, why do all of them say over and over that they can unite the country, but fail completely to explain HOW they will do that when they can’t unite their own party?

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I liked this answer to Javid’s tweet from Femi Sorry.

Femi
Replying to

Your party threatened Scotland that leaving the UK would mean leaving the EU in 2014, and now you not only want to drag Scotland out against its will, but refuse to let them decide if that’s OK? If you become PM, then as I’M ACTUALLY FROM Bromsgrove, count on me to be a problem.
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AT LAST, SHE’S GOING

OR, AS MARK FRANCOIS PUT IT, THE DANCING QUEEN’S WATERLOO

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Do I feel sorry for her?

Nope.

Did the tears make any difference?

Nope.

She was Home Secretary and a senior member of the Conservative Party when Cameron cooked up his little ploy to stop the disintegration of the Party in the Commons and in the country.

He would promise a referendum. That would stop the drift to UKIP of his MPs and probably his voters. But, at that time, all the polls showed that he would lose the next election, or at best be forced into another coalition with the Liberal Democrats (who would immediately veto a referendum as a condition of coalition), so he would never have to deliver.

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Then that all went horribly wrong. The Liberal Democrats suffered from their liaison over the previous 5 years and Ed Miliband carved his manifesto on an “Edstone” and showed that he couldn’t eat bacon rolls.

Cameron won and a referendum had to be delivered.

And May knew exactly what had been done in preparation for a leave vote… Exactly nothing, because, despite recent evidence to the contrary,  he was still convinced that he would win because he was David Cameron, Eton and Oxford!

She knew that the Party was split. She knew the UK was split. She knew that Cameron had opened the gates to hell, and she should have known about Northern Ireland!

And yet she still went for the job, because… Well, you tell me.

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From that pathetic curtsey followed by the St Francisesque speech on the doorstep of Downing Street about the “just getting by” and how her government would be for the ordinary person, not the elite, she has been a constant figure of fun both in the UK and in the rest of the world.

She’s barely made a good decision.

Time after time, from her disastrous and unnecessary election where she lost her slim majority and found herself pandering, expensively, to a religious right party of Northern Ireland, to the ridiculous bringing back of her Withdrawal Bill for a fourth shot, giving MPs the chance to change their minds while denying that choice to the people.

From her ill-judged invitation to Donald Trump to make a state visit within days of his being elected to her inept handling of Grenfell.

From her inability to handle ministers (she’s had 30 ministerial resignations/sackings in less than 3 years) to her Magic Money Tree comment to a nurse who hadn’t had a pay rise in 6 years.

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From being caught out lying by the Police about funding, to the horrendous record on people being starved to death by her DWP.

The woman has been an inept, incompetent catastrophe.

I’m trying hard to think of one decent thing she’s done. And I can’t.

And yes, I’d agree that she has had a mammoth of a job, but, as I said, she knew what she was applying for. She was AROUND the top long before she was AT the top.

Am I sorry to see her go?

No, but neither am I glad.

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Her successor will face exactly the same situation as she did. Divided party, divided state, broken society. And, with no majority, it is likely that May’s successor will have to call a general election, possibly in late summer.

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Time we went, Scotland.

WELL, YOU CAN’T EVER SAY THAT THEY AREN’T ENTERTAINING

I listened to the news at 5 pm, and it seems that, for Mrs May, the ba’s on the slates and the game’s a bogey, etc, etc.

She, at that time, had locked herself in the cellar in Downing Street with, according to some correspondent on the BBC, the sofa against the door. “I Vant to be alone”.

She had refused interviews to both the Home Secretary and the Foreign Secretary.

Paul Brand
@PaulBrandITV
BREAKING: David Mundell has asked for an urgent meeting with the PM this afternoon following her statement to MPs. He is not acting in coordination with other cabinet ministers but the expectation is that this is going to be a conversation about her future.
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Wind forward three hours and I glanced at Twitter to see that David Mundell is furious with her (Oh Nooooo!!!!) and has demanded an audience. I was thinking that, whatever you think about Hunt and Javid, at least they hold reasonable senior and important positions in the Cabinet… the so-called great offices of state. So, unless Mrs May is in need of a refreshing cup of tea, or indeed she has run out of digestives, I’m thinking that it is highly unlikely that wee Fluffy has a hope in hell.

What, you may ask, is the wee soul angry about…?

Robert Peston
@Peston
I am told the reason 

is furious with the PM and has asked to see her is that her apparent openness to another Brexit referendum is seen by him as a betrayal, because it would open the door to and legitimise another referendum on Scottish independence.

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So, no matter how many votes the MPs can have on her wretched agreement only a few weeks apart and often with only two or three words being changed, there is NO WAY Scotland is getting to have a referendum 6 years after the first one, no matter how drastically the circumstances and voting population have changed.

But, my money is on Peston being wrong.

Probably Fluffs just wants to know if the Maybot has any idea about how many sugars Boris takes in coffee.

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OK, Munguinites! Who’s the next prime minister?

BREXIT JUST GETS WORSE

BUT THERE ARE SOME FUN BITS IN IT TOO…

At a campaign launch for the European Elections, The Right Honourable Colonel Davidson told the assembled that the SNP should move on from the constitutional debate. (Rich, coming from someone who talks of little else and whose obsession with Nicola Sturgeon rather than any possible Tory policies, is becoming frightening)

Ms Davidson spoke out against having a new vote on Brexit or on independence.

“The Scottish Tory leader said the UK should “leave the European Union in an orderly manner” and move on to new debates.

“Ms Davidson said a vote for her party would “respect the result of referendums”, pledging “to honour the voices of millions of people (*in Scotland) who told us Scotland should stay in the UK, and (*in England and Wales) that Scotland should leave the EU”.

*My additions!

Somewhat embarrassingly, but not particularly surprisingly, dear old Theresa knocked that little number right on the head this afternoon in what was probably a fruitless attempt to get her EU-agreed plan for Brexit over the line.

As part of her speech to the nation (it should surely have been nations), Strong and Stable Treeza said:

“So to those MPs who want a second referendum to confirm the deal: you need a deal and therefore a Withdrawal Agreement Bill to make it happen.” 

Nicola Sturgeon
The PM might not have guaranteed a second EU referendum, but her promise of a vote on one puts the Scottish Tories ‘vote for us for no more referendums on anything ever’ pitch on something of a sticky wicket. Just an amusing aside.
5:34 PM · May 21, 2019

Ruthie must be fair fizzing. Two days from the elections and the main, nae, the only plank of her campaign has been knocked sideways for six and nailed to the roof.

Still, nothing new there. Anyone who remembers Ruth’s “lines in the sand” nonsense which was abandoned sharpish when Cameron changed his wee mind, won’t be terribly surprised that May has left her Scottish branch looking like it fell aff the tree!

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A couple of fun tweets… just to show how well her latest plan is going.

Dominic Raab @DominicRaab
I listened carefully to the PM’s speech on the govt’s revised terms of Brexit. I cannot support legislation that would be the vehicle for a second referendum or Customs Union. Either option would frustrate rather than deliver Brexit – and break our clear manifesto promises.
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Boris Johnson @BorisJohnson

With great reluctance I backed MV3. Now we are being asked to vote for a customs union and a second referendum. The Bill is directly against our manifesto – and I will not vote for it. We can and must do better – and deliver what the people voted for.
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RANDOM THOUGHTS

A bit of a mix here today. The cartoons weren’t that great this week and didn’t warrant a whole page (but thanks to BJSAlba for sending anyway), so I threw in some pics of the march and some figures from Marky about the English election results.

IndyScotNews.com
@IndyScot_News

20:45 FINAL ENGLISH COUNCIL ELECTION RESULTS:
CON 3562 (-1332)
LAB 2021 (-81)
LD 1344 (+700)
GRN 265 (+194)
UKIP 31 (-145)
IND 1044 (+606)
OTH 134 (+56)
NET COUNCIL CHANGES: CON -44 LAB -6 LD +10 RA +1 IND +2 NOC +37 #LocalElections2019 #LE2019
Somewhat unbelievably, Mrs May has concluded from these results, a massive shift from Brexit Supporting parties to those opposing it, that the great British public wants her to get on with Brexit. If this were anyone else, you might wonder at her sanity, but in the case of May who has called everything wrong from Day 1, we all know that she is batshit and frankly, why would we expect anything different…?
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!£glasgow
Dave sent me this pic from the march, but I couldn’t upload it so I found it online. He writes: The picture was taken of the end of the march just after Charing Cross. About 16:00. So this shows around a third to a quarter of the route, just before it gets to George square. I think more than 90,000 people.

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maydis

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!£tc2

As noted earlier we all know that the prime minister is batshit… not so sure about Mundell, who has sworn that no one ever mentioned being thrown out of the EU if we voted for independence. Is he mad as a box of frogs (eh?) or is he just desperately hoping that the Maybot will reward his slavish loyalty with a K or an OBE or something?

!£tory conference
He certainly draws a massive crowd, eh?

!£tc

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A STATE VISIT FROM THE BLOKEY FROM THE WHITE HOUSE

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State dinner with President Obama.

I read that the queen (for which Maybot) has invited Donald Trump to make a state visit to the UK in June. That’s pretty short notice for the immense amount of preparation that will be required to keep him entertained and safe.

(Although to be fair, you could keep him entertained by giving him a bucket load of McDonalds and KFC, setting up Fox and Friends on his tv and allowing him free reign on Twitter.)

I’m a little dubious as to why this is happening.

When Trump made a visit back in 2018, there were mass protests and he was obliged to keep himself out of the way of ordinary people. He was helicoptered everywhere so that he could avoid facing the public.

There is no reason to suggest that it would be any different this time. Except that, on a state visit, he will be expected to go places and do things with members of the royal family and government (even if it’s raining).

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Talk about a face like a torn scone… Tubby pushes in front of the queen while inspecting the troops

A carriage ride down the Mall with royals is almost inevitable. And a big deal shite tie state dinner is normal. That means being close to the public. Crowds can only be controlled to a certain extent, no matter how many police the government is forced to deploy.

The royals may be less than happy to be involved with him.

The queen, of course, has no choice.

But Phil has retired from public duties. Charles is a conservationist and Trump and he are unlikely to make a happy pair. William and Kate have clear issues with him after he made sexist comments about Kate when she was snapped sunbathing nude a few years ago. Harry may have to be deployed, but his American wife will just have had a child… and Harry is pretty far down the pecking order for the so-called “leader of the free world”!

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I suppose they could drag her out and make her earn her massive income just for once. At least we’d all get a laugh at her hat.

Then there is the issue of whether or not he will be invited to address a joint session of the Lords and Commons as were Obama and DubYa.

Bercow is on record saying that he wouldn’t approve it, although refusing permission is not entirely in his remit. The Lord Speaker may be of a different view.

However, I’ve seen a few MPs making it clear that should he be invited to speak, they will be otherwise engaged.

Rude? Yes, but then rudeness and Trump kinda go together.

Maybe, of course, the Maybot has a solution to all these problems. But based on her current form, I reckon that she’d have problems sorting out what to eat for lunch.

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So happy together…

What I can’t understand is why she would add all that extra stress to her already stressful life and for what?

One last thought… I’ve not seen the proposed schedule, but I’m wondering if he will be moving outside England. Anyone know?