OH PULEEEEEAZE

This apparently really happened.

Someone came out of a cabinet meeting with

1/ No food.

2/ No Channel Tunnel.

written on a piece of paper conveniently sticking out of the top of a Cabinet folder, knowing that the Press was waiting outside.

So, the first one is for real… No really, it is.

The second one is a clever wee bit of photoshop by .

So, who is it that thinks we are daft enough to fall for this crap and email our MPs begging them to sign up to the bad deal? I mean, who really wants no food and no Channel Tunnel… and whatever else lurks beguilingly inside that posh red folder?

And whatever happened to the famous “no deal is better than a bad deal” slogan, which May croaked endlessly at us, in that strong and stable way she used to have , before she realised

Does anyone recognise the chubby hand and beer belly carrying the offending folder? Remember, it has to be someone stupid enough to think that we’d swallow this, so you actually can’t rule out any of the Cabinet.

This looks just a bit too obvious – the last desperate throw of the dice by a government that has lost the argument on Brexit. The sooner tomorrow’s vote is out the way, the better – then we can get on with finding a better way forward.

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And…

Anyone else get ‘political’ booklet from Wetherspoon today? WTAF? Why is this being sent through the door pretending to be an advert for beer? It’s political propaganda from a pro-BREXIT barman! Does the have a role in this? Sadly, can’t find return address!

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Again, why are they trying to persuade members of the public? Don’t they know that, unless we have another referendum, what we think doesn’t matter much?

PS: Update: I’m told that the chubby hand and beer belly you can see belong to Mel Stride Financial Secretary to The Treasury and Paymaster General. Nope, me neither.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

ASDA profits = £712,000,000

Tesco profits = £1,300,000,000

Sainsbury Profits = £589,000,000

Morrisons Profits =  £374,000,000

Just as well the taxpayer is around to subsidise their wage bills and keep their profits up.

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Grayling has a history of disasters which follows him around no matter which department he works for, from the DWP and English Prisons and Probation departments to his latest fiasco in English Transport.  His trains are the laughing stock of the western world… and now it seems that the company he chose to run ferries for a no deal Brexit, (you know, the one with no ships and no experience of running ferries) has lifted its terms and conditions from a takeaway delivery service.

One sentence under the “placing an order” section says it is the customer’s responsibility to “thoroughly check the supplied goods before agreeing to pay for any meal/order”.

Another paragraph under the same heading reads: “Delivery charges are calculated per order and based on [delivery details here].

“Any delivery charges will be displayed clearly in your order summary.”

So, what I’m wondering is, did the Department for English Transport manage to miss this when they were doing the “due diligence” which he claims to have done, or did they just order curried chicken and a kabab?

Oh and, if I order a pizza from them and they bring it all the way from Belgium, will it still be warm when I get it?

Answers on a postcard.

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I heard today that Mrs  May was going on a charm offensive with the European Union to try to get some more concessions from them before the “meaningless vote” which she’s going to have sometime in January (or some times in January, as she may hold the vote more than once if it doesn’t pass the first time… But what about respecting the Cabinets vote, Mrs May?).

Anyway, it occurred to me (and several others) that while “charm” was hardly one of Mrs May’s assets, she could certainly lay claim to the “offensive” bit.

I’ve since read, incidentally, that no concessions will be granted.

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Image result for groats English currency

Eighty-five days till Brexit and already they have the new currency ready.

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Oh, and just to cheer you up:

“Unlikely” disappears from UK government Brexit papers

WINSTON SMITH GETS TO WORK ON BREXIT BRIEFING PAPERS

Image result for 1984

 

Faisal Islam has just pointed out some subtle rewording of Government papers on Brexit. The word “unlikely” in relation to a “no deal” has been quietly removed. Note the before and after examples below regarding medicines. Apparently, all departments have done the same thing.

!!!a
Before…
!!!b
After…
Update notice.

Although Mrs May says that her deal is the only deal, that she will not allow a second referendum and that she will not contemplate crashing out with no deal (although at one time “no deal was better than a bad deal”)…

And although traditionally, Cabinet responsibility demands loyalty, I see that this morning Rudd was proposing that if there should be no agreement on Mrs May’s deal (pretty much a certainty), a second referendum might have to be called.

And at the same time, Leadsom, the fox hunter, has been suggesting that a “managed” no deal (what’s that?) would be possible.

So, that’ll be May being strong, stable and clear… huh?

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Tris remains indisposed (it’s coming out of his wages) and today’s article appears thanks to Munguin himself!

 

GROW UP YOU MORONS

Image result for CORBYN STUPID WOMAN PIC

The Tories went into meltdown this afternoon over something that Corbyn may or may not have said under his breath about May.

It is possible that he said “stupid woman”, although many are saying that having seen the tape he said “stupid person”.

The Honourable, Honourable and Learned, Honourable and Gallant, and the Right Honourable versions of the same categories, spent what seemed like forever arguing with each other about the fine details of his insult.

Image result for ANDREA LEADSOM STUPID WOMAN PIC

Andrea Fox-Hunter Leadsom made her usual ‘invaluable’ contribution to the debate by complaining that the Speaker had recently muttered under his breath about HER being a stupid woman (as if), and what was he going to do about it, to which he replied that he had addressed that matter weeks ago (and probably, not unreasonably, muttered under his breath about what an airhead she was).

Nothing, strangely, was made of the insults that Tories have hurled about the place in recent times. Most recently the other day when the deeply unpleasant Nicholas Soames suggested that Ian Blackford go back to Skye. (Jeez man, you have absolutely no idea how much we’d like it if he just could do that.)

Nicholas, the dear boy, has form on this, having previously been pulled up for barking like a dog at Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh. He’s almost as charming as the Liddle Grainger chap who suggested that the Scottish National Party members could commit suicide and then moaned that they were w***ers when they complained.

And I’m no lip reader, but it is reckoned that Hammond used the same expression recently when a Labour MP was asking a question at PMQs, and our own dear Fluffy was caught on camera a while ago mouthing what looked like “silly bitch” (I think) to something that Yvette Cooper said.

Now couldn’t care less what they call each other. They are supposed to be grown-ups and they should be able to handle a bit of name calling. Indeed, for that matter, they can go outside and slap each other about if that’s what they have a mind to do and I still don’t really give a toss. The whole world is already choking itself laughing at the UK, so what difference will some rough and tumble and a few drunks falling in the Thames make? I mean, would anyone even notice?

Image result for ian liddell grainger

However, it’s as well to remember that this was Wednesday afternoon and like many other people in the UK, they were supposed to be at work.

It might be worth mentioning too that, although they may or may not have noticed it, there are a few pretty important things going on right now that they need to be dealing with, and spending time arguing like 6-year-olds in the playground, while we’re paying their wages is very definitely NOT ON.

It may be the end of term but no one told them they could bring games in.

THIS BLOKEY THINKS HE’S PART OF A RESPONSIBLE GOVERNMENT

So, let’s see if I got this right. They aren’t going to use the army, but they have 3,500 personnel on standby. Presumably for absolutely nothing? Good use of personnel, guys, and given that since you outsourced your recruitment to Crapita, you can’t get anyone to join, what are you going to do? Ask the Chelsea Pensioners?

The worlds biggest buyer of fridges for storing medicines?  They are storing drinking water (in fridges)?

Image result for Loch Awe

(We have plenty of that in Scotland! We can do a reasonable rate if you buy in bulk.)

But this roaster says …you’d expect any responsible government to do take these steps.

I tell you what I’d expect a responsible government to do, matey.

I’d expect them to have prepared for a no vote before the referendum. What kind of idiots would have failed to consider that they could lose? Oh yeah, the over-privileged Eton Boy, David Cameron. ‘Nuff said.

Having lost and not having done ANY preparatory work, I’d have expected them to NOT trigger Article 50 until they had a collegiate response to the situation, you know, something like a realistic plan, maybe that they could put forward to Europe.

Image result for david cameron looking stupid

I’d have expected a responsible government to NOT have a General Election (breaking the fixed term parliament act) and then go on to lose their majority.

I’d have expected them NOT to bribe, of all parties, the bloody DUP, with £2 billion of OUR money to get them to keep the hapless prime minister’s incompetent backside in Downing Street. Lord knows, she was useless enough before she tied herself to that bunch of extremists with their blood red lines.

I’d certainly NOT have expected them to still be fighting like cats and dogs amongst themselves, never mind any of the opposition parties, and never mind the EU negotiators, with fewer than 100 days to go before we drop out by default, over the edge of a cliff.

I’d expect them not to take a Christmas holiday while this crisis was happening. If they have to sit in parliament on Christmas day, tough cookies.

No deal is better than a bad deal

I’d expect them not to wait until the middle of January to bring back the delayed proposals, (which were definitely going to be voted on last week, you’ll remember) to parliament, you know, once they’ve returned from skiing in Megève or sunbathing in the Maldives, and blackmailing their own MPs to either vote for them or crash out into oblivion.

I’d have expected a responsible government to have behaved like a responsible government. But I’d have expected it with realistically very little hope. They told us that no deal was better than a bad deal, and the bad deal they have negotiated is now better than no deal? Only in Toryland.

So it is a HUGE surprise to me that, far too late, they are facing up to the fact that they may be about to bankrupt us all, and split their party… and that they have started taking emergency power to themselves.

Although, frankly, the thought of morons like them having any kind of emergency powers and what they might do with them, scares the s**t out of me.

Image result for unicorns

Random Thoughts

!!!!Maybot
Where? In Japan? On the Moon? 

Senior Tory to me: “with the vote postponed, are the promises to my colleagues of peerages and knighthoods still good?”. They should have read the small print.

So Dame Arlene no more?

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!!!EES
Nei, du kan ikke så gå bort og prøve med Nord-Korea
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Senior Tory: “The Irish should really know their place”.

They do know their place, mate. They are in a union with 26 other nations which have got their backs. That is their place and they are IN it.

Unlike the UK which is Billy No Mates and OUT of it.

Also, this is a really interesting negotiating strategy. Only the British Tories would have thought up something so fiendishly cunning.

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!7
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha… where are you resigning, Fluffy?

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I dunno…

Does anything ever go right for this hapless woman?

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!brex1
I nearly forgot. We have this extravaganza to look forward to.

From Torquil Crichton.

McDonnell to – we call the shots “We’ll put one down when we can win it. My view (on SNP) is they want is to lose a vote of no confidence, avoid a general election, they know we’re breathing down their necks in Scotland and will take seats off them.”

McDonnell, obviously high on something, putting the head jockess well and truly in her place over a proposed motion of no confidence. I expect they don’t want to call a motion of no confidence because, in a general election that might follow, they might lose, and look REALLY pathetic, or worse still, win, and have to sort of the s***show that May is leaving in her wake.

Oh, and just out of interest, has anyone seen any evidence of this neck breathing anywhere?

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