POOR OLD MUDDLED JACKASS

Syndicate Post image

A couple of days ago, Nicola Sturgeon suggested that, when out, in crowded places, where it was difficult to socially distance (on the bus, in a supermarket for example) the people might like to consider wearing a face mask. Not a medical quality face mask, you understand, but one which would stop you spitting tiny droplets of saliva as you speak, especially when pronouncing “p” “t” and “b”. Not particularly for your protection but for the protection of others around you.

Well, you’d have thought that the end of the world was nigh. People on Twitter going wild saying that “Sturgeon”  wasn’t telling THEM what to do. They were British. So there! Others suggested that they would only wear a facemask if it had a union flag on it. (Well, that would keep people away, let’s be fair.)

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We need to remember that at no point did Nicola mandate this.

Jackson Carlaw asked what evidence she was using to suggest such a thing would be advantageous, and tweeted that there was no border and we were all one country (yeah I know, but maybe he doesn’t).

Wee Fluffy got himself in a terrible state. Matt Hancock, presumably Fluffy’s idol, has said that he doubted that they do any good and Fluffs was all of a dither about people being confused if England didn’t advise face masks and Scotland did. I’m confused,  he apparently tweeted. Not that that came as any surprise to any of us.

Opinion: David Mundell MP | Peeblesshire News
“Get my bags, Muddy”

I mean how would people know what do do when they got to the border. Good question.

OK, apart from the fact that most people shouldn’t actually be crossing the border right now, Fluffy may, or may not, be aware that there are many things which are different on one side than on the other. And somehow people do know.

For example, to the north of the border, there are no prescription charges, to the south each item costs £9.15, although there are exceptions to this involving age, medical conditions, pregnancy, and certain kinds of, but not all kinds of, benefits. Now that is confusing.

Primary education ends after 7 years in Scotland and after 6 in England, university courses are of different duration, drink driving laws are different, and so on and so forth.

In fact, this has gone on for a great deal longer than the period in which there has been a Scottish parliament. Indeed Gretna, just over the border in Scotland, has become world-famous and made much money, based on the fact that for many years in Scotland you could marry at 16 without parental permission, whist in England, you had to be 18 to do that. 16-year-olds had to have mummy and daddy’s OK.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of things that are different here, given that Scots Law is entirely different from English Law. You’d have thought that an ex-Secretary of State for Scotland, who happens to be a lawyer, might have grasped that. But then, as I’ve said elsewhere, they didn’t call him “Fluffy Muddle” for nothing.

Anyway, you’re letting me haver on without getting to the point and Munguin is looking cross.

And the point is this. Boris Johnson has just said that it would be sensible for people to wear masks when coming out of lockdown, contradicting what Old HandThingy said the other day… and the good thing is that Mundell won’t be muddled about it any more… or will he?

[You could have said that considerably more succinctly. Get yourself on a writing course. Kind regards, Munguin.]

This just seen:

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How embarrassing!

HOW DO YOU PASS YOUR DAYS?

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I was wondering how Munguinites pass their time during the lockdown.

Me, I get up late, read comments, look at Twitter, watch some “Big Bang” videos, make food, consume same, read, check Munguin’s Republic, go for a walk, work in the garden, read some more, wash dishes, run ragged after Munguin, read in bed and then, sleep.

Munguin sits around and dishes out orders, then gets stuck into the champagne.

Every day is pretty much the same except when I have to go shopping, which I do at local Lidl or Aldi… in and out as quickly as I can and back to the Towers.

Most days are pretty much the same for me.

Kind of reminds me of the description (which I loved) of a typical workday in Paris.

Dodo, métro, boulot, métro, dodo…

Dodo is the children’s word for sleep (dormir); métro is a bit obvious; boulot is slang for job and for pronunciation purposes, they all end in the “o” sound. So sleep, train, work, train, sleep!

If you feel like it to, tell us what YOU do. Maybe someone a bit more interesting than I am will inspire us with some good activity ideas.

munguins

WHERE’S THAT BOTTLE OF DETTOL WHEN YOU NEED IT?

I think it goes to show what I thought all along, he’s like a ghost.

Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) - streaming online

Vice President Hopkirk (deceased) needs to get a torch up his backside.

ps: James Felton is hilarious. Give him a follow on Twitter. You get a really good laugh. Munguin bought me his book “52 Times Britain was a Bellend” for Christmas. I rolled about laughing.

GOOD NEWS FOR TORIES AND SNP

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*Opinium Westminster Voting Intention: 21-23/04/2020

CON: 50% (+5)

LAB: 33% (-)

LDem: 7% (-5)

SNP: 5% (+1)

Grn: 3% (-)

PC: 0% (-)

Flavible Projection

CON: 384 (+19)

LAB: 185 (-18)

SNP: 55 (+7)

PC: 4 (-)

LDem: 3 (-8)

GRN: 1 (-)

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So, it would seem that Sir Keir Starmer hasn’t made any impact on the Tory lead in England.

Tories in Scotland are down to 3 seats.

Labour holds its usual one in a Tory heartland.

Liberals appear to have lost all their seats, even the Northern Isles, which I find incredible.  Bring back Jo Swinson, I say!!!

And the SNP has gained 7 seats, bringing them back to 55.

Also asked in the poll:

“Which, if any, of the following people do you think would be the best prime minister?”

The answers were…

Boris Johnson (Con): 44%

Keir Starmer (Lab): 23%

None of these: 17%

Don’t know: 16%

So it seems that election of centre-right Sir Keir Starmer hasn’t done Labour a power of good, although to be fair it is early days. But the calm and measured Starmer at around half the support of the de Pfeffel buffoon, in a crisis? What is wrong with these people?

On whether people are doing a good job the results were: 

Boris Johnson: + 19

Sir Keir Starmer: + 13

Nicola Sturgeon: + 3 ( Possibly because it was a UK poll.)

Ed Davey: – 8 (Possibly because no one has heard of him or knows what he is doing.)

Johnson has done a good job? Is that the sympathy vote? Because as the “Just for a Laugh” cartoon say yesterday…

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In the meantime, Jackson Carlaw has told us there is no border between Scotland and England. He tweets:

“It is ridiculous to suggest Nicola Sturgeon could close the border. There is no border – we are one United Kingdom.”

OK, this probably isn’t the time to get into how being “one united kingdom” isn’t working out too well for us. That’s not the point. But it is possible to close “internal borders”, which, like it or not, Mr Carlaw, DO exist. Australia and Malaysia are, each of them “one united country” but Quokka was saying recently that the borders between states in Australia are monitored and Abu told me the same thing about Malaysia. (They may now be completely closed by now as both countries are taking stronger action against the virus.)

In the UK, however, people can freely move between the countries because there is no border security because some people, like Carlaw, are desperate to not give the impression that we are anything other than one united kingdom.

The map above (albeit based only on an opinion poll) suggests that the “united” part of united kingdom is risible.

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*Access to full tables through that site.

SOPPY SUNDAY

Baby orangutans traumatized after smuggling attempt - National ...

1. Thank goodness. At last, these pesky bunnies have left and I can get on with my milk.

Mt Hood Oregon

2. Mount Hood, Oregon.

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3 Gone fishing?

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4. High-rise doggie bed.

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5. Dave sent it in. It’s Skye. What is it?

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6. I ain’t catching no deadly bug from no dirty human.

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7. Primrose. Spring really is here.

n ducklings

8. No social distancing in the Duck world.

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9.  Best mates.

Orphaned orangutan Josh to be rehabilitated

10. I’m trying to get a tune out of this to scare rabbits away!

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11. Chez Munguin.

POLAR BEAR LOVE: Cute polar bear cubs lovin' up their mamma - YouTube

12. Exhausted by the kids…

16 Fun Facts About Tortoises | Mental Floss

13. You like my house? I’m kinda attached to it.

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14. Disapproving look from Wol! (Winnie the Pooh)

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15. Let’s get you cleaned up.

Beautiful Stock Photos of Baby Elephants in South Africa

16. Come on. Get a move on…

bees

17.  Share and share-alike.

pecos river new mex

18. Pecos River, New Mexico.

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19. Zonkey?

Baby-orangutan-Borneo

20. Well, we got through the tour without a single rabbit. 

A Baby Rabbit Is Actually Called A Kitten (And Other Names You ...

Also 20. Yeah, that’s what you Orangutans thought! Hehe. Now I can get on with my carrot!