RANDOM THOUGHTS

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I was broken hearted to see Tentsmuir forest yesterday, after the hurricane.

Paths I’ve walked for years blocked by fallen trees and parts of the forest practically flattened. At the car park by the river, a tree I’ve sat under and picnicked, down and dead. I picked up some of its cones for Munguin’s gardens so it will live on in kind.

Sad.

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Happy day, however, for the people of Barbados.

Dame Sandra Mason new president-elect | Barbados Advocate

Congratulations to President Mason and the Barbadians. (And thanks to DonDon for putting me right on the president’s name.)

Prince Charles arrives in Barbados as it becomes republic, replacing  British queen | Channel

Charlie arrived in Barbados in his royal private plane (at heaven knows what cost to us and to the planet) as a member of their ruling family and left as a member of a foreign royal family.

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Another piece of good news.

The English government has made it compulsory to wear masks in crowded public places as of today, in response to the new covid variant, which is now in the UK.

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Obviously, this doesn’t apply to superior people or, if you prefer the alternative description, complete tossers.

JUST FOR A LAUGH

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3. May 24, 2016. Danny in Wonderland. Oh how wonderful it all seemed in Dan’s daft wee head.
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19. Umm, a wee heads up here, Labour: the Greens are in government; “faire” is a French verb meaning to make or to do; Scotland isn’t a county…oh and the “lets” you meant there should have an apostrophe. Not being picky because, heaven knows we all make mistakes, but that’s rather a bumper bundle for people who would like to be in government.
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What do you call it when a shark, a crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar?


Another typical day in Australia.

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A horse walks into a bar: “I’ll have a triple whisky.”

Bartender: “Are you an alcoholic?”

Horse:  “I don’t think I am.” He promptly vanishes into thin air.

This is a play on “Cogito ergo sum ”  (I think therefore I am.) But if this were to be explained at the start of the gag, it wouldn’t work. It would be putting Descartes before the horse.

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Thanks to Brenda, John, Graham, Erik.

Bonus:

“I CAN’T stand innuendo. If I see one in the script I whip it out immediately.” – Kenneth Williams

SOPPY SUNDAY

745 Orangutan smile Stock Photos, Orangutan smile Images | Depositphotos®
1. Morning all. I’ve just been hearing about Boris Johnson. What is it with humans? We’d NEVER elect a loonie like him to be head orangutan.
6,000+ Free Sheep & Lamb Images
2. Yep, we sheeps agree! Wherever you found him, put him back.
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3. Actually, we Passion Flowers in Bulgaria, still flowering, agree too. Ditch him.
4. Getting ready for a night on the town?
Watch The Baby Elephant & The Baby Giraffe | Prime Video
5. If there’s no baby elephants to play with, why wouldn’t you play with a baby giraffe?
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6. What you looking at? You’re wearing odd socks!
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7. Hmmmmm.
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8. Redbilled Fire Finches cosying up.
Restoring ecosystems and tiger populations in Bhutan
9. Nothing beat a hug.
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10. Sorry the beak’s a bit dirty. Just had breakfast!
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11. What a comfy pillow.
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12. We can share if you like.
Niamey Guide - Should you visit or live in Niamey? - City Ranking
13. Niamey, Niger.
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14. First thing after the storm, was to check on wee Robbie. He was there seconds after me looking for breakfast of mealworms, seeds and bread. He was swiftly followed by Bertie the Blackbird looking for sultanas.
American Bullfrog Care Sheet | Reptiles' Cove
15. Well, why not. That’s what mums are for!
It's official! These are the cutest spiders in the ENTIRE world – imaginED
16. All dressed up… so I’m off to the dancing!
Image associée | Bisonte americano, Animales terrestres, Bufalo americano
17. What? I’m busy eating. Come back later. Oh, no, wait, I’m always eating. Don’t come back at all!
Queen's View bei Pitlochry - königliche Aussicht
18. Loch Tummel.
500+ Baby Animals Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash
19. You wanna dance?
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20. Hari, a new baby rhino in Australia.
Whale photo
21. Tagging whales in New Zealand.
Wallaby 2
22. I’m a bridled nail tail wallaby, but of course, you knew that already, being Munguinites.
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24. Thank you doctor. He’s a hug!
Baby Orangutan Chester Zoo | Baby orangutan, Animals wild, Cute baby animals
20. If anyone asks, you didn’t see me! It was another orangutan what done it. OK?

Thanks to Quokka, John and Kay.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE TORIES, AFTER LIZ TRUSS, DOMINIC RABB, BORIS JOHNSON AND NADINE NOODLEHEAD, COULDN’T GET ANY DIMMER …

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU NICK FLETCHER (Nah, nor me but I’ll look him up for you.)

Nick Fletcher | MP for Don Valley
MP for Don Valley. Don Valley is a former coal mining area which elected only Labour MPs from 1922-2019. The current MP should probably not get too comfortable.

I can, of course, understand, that if you are a male British teenager and you hear that you are not going to be playing James Bond, Luke Skywalker, or even Dr Who, that you must think to yourself, “well, self. That’s it. There’s nothing left for me now but the world of crime. I’ll have to go rob a bank … or maybe even join a crime syndicate, like perhaps the Tory Party.

Liz Truss: 'You have to put yourself forward... No one else will' - YOU  Magazine

Why, only the other day I saw two young lads lamenting the fact that not only was the home secretary female but the foreign secretary was too.

Imagine their dismay when I added to their woes by informing them that the queen was a woman!

I await the crime wave.

THERE NOW FOLLOWS A MINISTERIAL STATEMENT FROM THE ENGLISH SECRETARY FOR “CULTURE” !*%*!

Just out of interest, can anyone arrange her words into a sentient thought:

And, so, though, it’s (or its), yeah, and, that.

Answers on a postcard, the winner to receive a week in the Clyde Tunnel with Jackie Baillie.

dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 on Twitter: "very strong bid by Nadine Dorries to move  herself up the most awful Tory minister chart here https://t.co/gevlpRfK2t"  / Twitter

FYI: Unlike the BBC, Channel 4 receives no public funding. It is funded entirely by its own commercial activities. Most of their income comes from advertising revenue.

LEVELLING UP OR, FOR THE ETON/OXFORD BOYS, “ADTRITIO”…HOW EXACTLY DOES IT WORK?

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Yep, I can see why the Tories voted for this. It will leave them more money to buy a peerage.

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The thing is, once you get that blood transfusion and you become Noble, your view on so many things changes. After all, what is £1 500 per annum to the average aristocrat who can collect more than £300 a day for resting his or her eyes?

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Yes, bit of a brass neck there, Patel.

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Laura Kuenssberg@bbclaurak · 6hSenior

Downing St source says “there is a lot of concern inside the building about the PM….It’s just not working. Cabinet needs to wake up and demand serious changes otherwise it’ll keep getting worse. If they don’t insist, he just won’t do anything about it.”

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So that’s two…Is the BBC starting to get a bit fed up with Benny Hill Haystacks?

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Now you know how Kermit felt.
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Yep… goodbye NHS, England only (we hope, unless the territorial officers demand that us lesser territories follow the masters).

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Oh look, arch unionist, Ian Paisley Junior has an Irish passport, so no L O N G queues for him.

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Daniel Kawczynski: “Back in my office in Commons. So proud to receive my new British Passport today without the superfluous EU tag on it! Finally we are free!” What’s the betting he also has a Polish one so he doesn’t have to wait in L O N G queues.

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First the BBC and now even the Express is printing stories critical of Brexit. Whatever next? Additionally, Rod Stewart has criticised Brexit and hinted at support for Scottish Independence.
Rod Stewart says Brexit has been a ‘disaster’ for the UK – and hinted at his support for a Scottish independence referendum.

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He pretended he was a car and made vroom vroom noises… then he talked at length about Peppa Pig.

JUST FOR A LAUGH

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1. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. So he got cross and now look at them!
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13. For heaven’s sake...and no one noticed?
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16. Ummm… GBNews, up to the minute coverage, or not?
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18. Awww… give this sad little pepper a cuddle. Munguin says, so don’t argue!
19. Yipeeeeee.
May be an image of 1 person, car and text that says "My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini. I said, "wow, that's an amazing car!" He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year." boredpanda.com"
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May be an image of 1 person and text that says "BREAKING: Liz Truss has signed a trade deal with Janet from Norwich who sells marmalade on Ebay"
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May be a cartoon of 1 person and text that says "RT The BBC says are a State Controlled broadcaster..... What the Hell are the BBC then? haha! haha! haha!"
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2 panel cartoon 

Panel 1: *a dog’s mind* Love Play Sniff Loyalty Protect Family Food Dig

Panel 2: *a cat’s mind* Food Sleep Murder ?
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25. The Brits like to dream of the days of Empire, and their governors general and viceroys… who used to be important people sometimes even…gasp…royalty. And now they have the likes of JackBoots! Jings, how they have fallen in the world. The English have territorial offices in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. And, is Penny Mordant as dim-witted as she looks and sounds?

Thanks to Brenda and AndiMac.

SOPPY SUNDAY

Rescued Orangutans Returned to Indonesia Amid COVID-19 Risk - EcoWatch
1. Morning. It’s going to be a lazy day today. Munguin has some Sloths visiting.
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2. Hello. Were you looking for me? I was just doing a spot of fishing, then I’m off to build a dam so not in the least slothful!
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3. I think I’ll just have a little snooze…
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4. WAAAAAAAAAH.
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5. This is fun…
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6. Who’s a beautiful birdie? Why ME, of course!
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7. Oi you, I’m beautiful too… AND I’m Scottish. A Clyde Birdie! And that fish I just caught, Andi… That big, no honest!
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8. I love you, mummy!
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9.Whatcha think of them horns??? EH?
What Is The Capital Of Sudan? - WorldAtlas
10. Khartoum.
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11. The nosh chez Munguin isn’t at all bad, and he’s cool if you don’t want to get up and go to the table.
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12. My name is Wol and I’ve got my eyes on you.
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13. Well, you can get your eye right off me for a start. I’m a wild cat and, although I look VERY cute, I have VERY sharp claws and teeth.
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14. Anyone for a trip on a wee boat on a Scottish loch?
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15. Nor should it.
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16. A nicer animal than Munguin is. If someone gave him chocolate and biscuits, he’d come back again, sure… but family, (ie, me) pfff… no chance! “I’m just popping out in the helicopter, Tris. Don’t wait up.”
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17. Always re-energised after a plate of Munguin’s excellent high class posh nosh.
Angela Merkel & Birds Now A Funny Meme
18. Munguin found Dr Merkel a suitable job as servant to some of his birdie friends.
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19. A little snooze before I go to bed…
ZooTampa da la bienvenida a un bebé orangután | WFLA
20. Had to have a wee snooze here too. It’s not an easy job working for Munguin when you’re little. It’s just as well he doesn’t have chimneys in the Towers. Still I have my mummy to give me a cuddle and that is what matters.

Thanks to Andimac and Dave