RANDOM THOUGHTS

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In a hospital without a mask, trying to deflect from the story of a guy who earned hundreds of thousands of pounds by using his position as an MP… and bringing in the fact that his wife killed herself because he was being investigated, as some sort of mitigation. Utter arse.

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Having just been roasted by an ex-supporter, actor Brian Cox, on live telly.

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Although I did give £3million pounds to The Conservative Party before the last General Election, this is entirely separate from my peerage to The House of Lords. Additionally the £165million PPE contract for my 2020 company FaceMasksAreUs is entirely coincidence. Thank You.’

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Just for a laugh

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3. “Right lads, are we protesting the climate change one or the independence one?” (Guffers on Twitter).
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6. That puts the Brexit bonus (titters) of £350 million a week into perspective.
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18. You’re working class, Boris, except for the low self esteem.
May be an image of 3 people and text that says "TELL ME NICOLA WHAT'S THE STORY WITH THE BINS ? OH NO WORRIES JOE, I'VE GOT SOMEONE LOOKING AFTER THEM"
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Thanks to Andimac and Brenda.

Soppy Sunday

Before everything today…

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From Derek, who was there.
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1. Morning, you lot. Any breakfast about, Munguin?
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2. Someone stowed away and got to go to the pub.
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3. It’s hard to beat the colours of autumn.
How the Highland Cow became Scotland's unofficial national animal - Daily  Record
4. I was thinking, maybe a swim?
Apropos of nothing, have some pictures of squirrels posing like superheroes  - The Verge
5. Just doing some exercises to get myself fit for the squirrel Olympics.
Tusk | Lilongwe Wildlife Trust
6. Am I late for this COP thing?
LILONGWE WILDLIFE CENTRE - PASA
7. What do you think of the hair?
Lilongwe wiki | TheReaderWiki
8. Lilongwe.
9. The rain is Skye goes mainly in Blaze’s burn!
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10. Shake your tail feathers!
Spotted Hyena/Hyaena
11. I’m a Spotted Hyena, but it’s ok. It’s not catching.
Volunteer At The Lilongwe Wildlife Centre! | The Great Projects
12. You need a seat after a hard day.
Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge Welcomes Baby Zebra to Their Herd | PEOPLE.com
13. And this is how you stand under a tree to keep the sun off you.
Calling It—Why The Scottish Highlands Is Our Favourite
14. Scottish glens.
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15. It’s a bit like going round Aldi (except it cheaper… geddit… cheap cheap?) Oh, never mind.
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16. My favourite wee burn, “Gurgles” in full on mode.
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17. Am I late for the independence march?
Picture of the Day: Hiya » TwistedSifter
18. Sorry, can I help you, or do you always stare when bears are rolling about enjoying themselves?
Humpback whales feeding in the ocean
19. Interesting article on whales…
Three little penguins bunched together on sand
20. And this on penguins.
A black cockatoo sits on a wooden fence post, facing right, against a green background.
21. This cockatoo in Western Australia, is 35 year old.
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22. Balintore Castle.
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23. I’m a chevrotain and I can run faster than the mice in Munguin’s cellars.
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24. Up ya get little one.
Top 10 images of orangutans for International Day of Happiness — Orangutan  Foundation
25. Well I hope you guys enjoyed that. We’ll be back next week (if Munguin sends the cheque). Bye bye…

Thanks to Kay, John, Martin, Dave A, Quokka, Derek.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

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COP26: Nicola Sturgeon chats with Angela Merkel during VIP reception | The  National
Oh dear, if he has sobered up, Boris will be incandescent.

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The Queen smiling at a public engagement
Right, one has made one’s speech about saving the world from climate change. Niegh, one deserves a break. It’s well over a fortnight since one was on holiday at Balmoral, so one is going to Sandringham for a few days. Sent for one’s helicopter, one of you 40 or so servants.

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This is certainly worth a read.

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IT IS SAID THAT ENGLISH MINISTERS WANTED TO ENSURE THAT JOE BIDEN AND NICOLA STURGEON DIDN’T MEET… NOW, ISN’T THAT A SHAME?

First Minister Nicola Sturgeon shakes hands with President Biden. The First Minister was pleased to meet President Biden as he attended COP26 in Glasgow, and looks forward to him returning to Scotland.
Oh, fancy banging into you here. What’s your name again?.
A multi-coloured vase gifted to the people of Scotland from President Biden with an accompanying card reading The President of the United States of America
…Ah yes, well, seeing as I’ve run into you, purely by accident of course (because that bloke that looks like Trump, Johnson I think he said his name was, told me not to speak to you), I’d like to present you with this gift from America to Scotland.
Picture of the card included with the gift sent by President Biden which reads "Presented to the Right Honourable Nicola Sturgeon First Minister of Scotland by Josep R. Biden Jr. President of the United States of America on the ocassion of the 2021 United Nations Climate Change Conference November 1 - 2 2021
Is it any wonder that Johnson had to get super pissed and fall asleep?
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Who’s a grump then? Still never mind, your MPs have just been whipped (yes, some of them liked it a lot) to vote to make all MP corruption legal… so you’ll be up there with the royals now. Untouchable!
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THIS IS THE GLOBAL BRITBIN THEY ARE SHOWING OFF TO THE WORLD

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Tim Walker@ThatTimWalker:

That’s too much booze for you, as you approach 60. There was always – and I remember this from my Telegraph days – a manic intensity to Johnson’s drinking. Others would give themselves a day off every now and again. Not him. It was as if he feared any consciousness of who he is.

I mean as I get older, in common with most people, I do drink less. Still happy to drink with people I love and I think it enriches my life. Johnson still drinks like he is a lot younger than he is and I am afraid there is a word for that and it’s not a pretty word.

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And, you’ll note, the ignorant pig hasn’t got a mask on, despite sitting close to people, including 95 year-old David Attenborough.

Such utter ignorance and selfishness makes my flesh creep.

JUST FOR A LAUGH

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SCOTTISH breathalyser ..  this wee laddie is holding a set of bagpipes.

Says another: “Wha’s that?”

“I call it a Scottish breathalyser”

“How’s it work?”

“Ye juist blaw intae this pipe here … and if ye like the sound it makes, ye’ve had tae much tae drink.”

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SHE’S single. She lives right across the street. I can see her place from my patio. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door.

I rushed to open it. She looked at me and said: “I just got home and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk and make love tonight! Are you doing anything ?”

I quickly replied: “Nope, I’m free!”

She said: “Great! Then could you look after my dog?”

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So . . . we’re sittin in the boozer and suddenly the barman shouted “Dis onybody ken CPR?”

Says I . . “Aye . . . in fact ah ken the hale alphabet”.

Jings, hoo we a’ laughed.

Weel . . . except the wan guy!

Woozy face

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May be an image of wrist watch and text
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15. Bloody right you do, Buster. To kick off who needs all these palaces? How may rooms do you have in your houses? I’ll tell you. One of the 7 houses that you live in apparently has 775 rooms. Do you know that most of us don’t have 7 houses and almost none of us has one with over 700 rooms. No Seriously!
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16. That’s what I call a joke.
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Peter Brookes on Twitter: "My cartoon Friday @TheTimes. Following his  knockabout laugh-a-minute conference speech, the deeply unserious  #BorisJohnson looks forward to #COP26… https://t.co/qn7q1gYvva"
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10 Tweets That Hilariously Sum Up The Brexit Vote
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20 Of The Best Brexit Jokes On Twitter
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Thanks to Joh, Graham and Conan.