JUST FOR A LAUGH

Caglecartoons
Caglecartoons
De Volkskrant
Politico
Le Temps

joke1

joke2

Thanks to BJSAlba for the first five…

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SOPPY SUNDAY

Image result for orangutan babies
Morning all.
Slovenia. 
n pic
You take my picture and I’ll take yours.
n dog1
Yeah, that’s it, the idea is not to get your bottom wet!
N barn
Barn Owl.
n bear 2
Nah, it’s not that cold and the salmon is really good.
n blue mycena mushroom
Blue Mycena Mushroom.
n cow
Nothing like a nice beach holiday, wouldn’t you agree?
n faroes
Faroes.
n f
Handsome, aren’t I?
n pink poppies
Pretty in Pink.
n fin swan
Finnair announce the departure of…
n jumping
I’m training for the high jump in the Oceana Olymoics.
n lion 7
It must be Love, Love, Love.
n koala
A boy and his bear… well not really a bear.
n rh
This is what I’ll look like when I grow up.
n goaty
Aren’t I the most handsome black and white animal on Soppy Sunday today?
n mummy
Sometimes, you just need a cuddle.
n thailand
Thailand
n wake up, it's breakfast time for burds
Hey, wake up, lazy bones. Birds get hungry in the morning.
Image result for orangutan babies
Well, that’s it. I’m gonna make a quick getaway while my mummy’s sleeping. Adventures to be had. See you next week.

 

WHAT A DAMNED CHEEK!

According to this story, around a third of British businesses are making plans to or have already relocated some staff to Europe in preparation for Brexit.

That’ll be another thing they didn’t manage to get onto the side of a bus.

Image result for gavin williamson

Oh, and because that idiot schoolboy, Gavin Williamson (aged 13 1/4, dunce of the lower third), threatened China with an aircraft carrier which isn’t ready and which has no planes, Deputy Prime Minister Hu has cancelled trade talks with the UK. But it’s OK. We don’t really need a trade deal with China. Mr F… oh damn, sorry, DOCTOR Fox has just signed a deal with the Faroe Islands.

So Nah nah nah nah nah, to you China.

Given it’s Valentine’s, here’s a poem I stole from Martin Vickers

“Roses are red Violets are blue

In Beijing they read Our newspapers, too

Daffodils yellow Carnations white;

That’s what we get when Our Government’s shite.

The flowers in the wreaths read, wilted and grey:

“Late, unlamented, The former U.K.” “

Ohhhhh, Richard Leonard

Image result for what is devolved to scotland

Yesterday, Scottish Labour bemoaned the fact that too many people working in Scotland are living beneath the £10 an hour so-called (by George Osborne) Living Wage.

Of course, that is true. Far too many people do work and yet live in poverty. And many people on Gideon’s Living Wage have to claim tax credits and other social security benefits.

It is a bad situation.

Mr Leonard appeared to say that he would give them all rises of up to £2,600 a year. All 500,000 of them. Generous man.

The trouble is that Minimum Wage legislation lies within the purview of the hated Tory government in London.

Now, I seem to recall that Minimum Wage legislation was something that the Scottish government asked to be devolved. And I also recall that Scottish Labour voted against. 

Any notion that the Tories would want to see poor Scots £2,6000 better off, at the expense of business owners, is rather far fetched.

Still, I suppose it makes a good headline for those who do not care to look beyond the headline soundbite.

Today, Our Richard was having a go at the NHS in Scotland.

According to Scottish Labour, it is failing people.

And to prove it, they put together a video. Mindful of a previous video where an NHS nurse was found in fact not to be an NHS nurse, they did indicate at the beginning of the video that parts had been played by actors. 

Now, our NHS isn’t perfect, I think we all know that. It takes too long to get an appointment with a doctor for starters, hospital food can be unappetising and in a couple of hospitals where the government’s lawyers couldn’t break the terms of contracts signed years ago, the parking charges are ridiculous. 

Of course, Brexit hasn’t helped with the situation. Many people working in the NHS are from Europe and, saddled with applications for residency permits, some after working here for a quarter of a century and more, have just given up and announced their return to the EU where they will be welcomed and treated like valued citizens.

But for all its faults, it is a good health service. Indeed, I think by most measures, it is the best in these islands and we should be rightly proud of it and the people who provide it at every level.

That said, if Labour can suggest ways that it can be improved, we would, I am sure, welcome their suggestions, wouldn’t we?

There’s a small fly in the ointment though… If we look for an example of how Labour runs a health service, we find that maybe their advice might not be that good.

!wales

!wales2

 

Isn’t it about time, given the results of the latest Yougov poll of voting intentions for Westminster showing Labour reduced to one seat in Scotland (aye, old Union Jacket), for the annual branch office leadership contest?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Who this time… James Kelly?

LET’S LAUGH AT BREXIT…

brexit1
Don’t you wish those bloody foreigners would learn to write English?
brex
Coming to a beach near you. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
brexitq
Where to? Hopefully British Antarctican Territories. (No offence, Munguin!)
brefigs
So THAT’S what was on the side of that bus. Wish I’d gone to Specsavers!
£tess
Britain, the absolute centre of attraction at any gathering
b3
I suppose it was Nige. After all, you haven’t had to do anything at all except stand on the sidelines and carp . (A bit like you, Tris, Munguin.)
brex01
Well, see below. We need special treatment.
a
We’re British, don’t you know, what what!
brexfr
Pretty much an ordinary day in Westminster.
boris predicst.jpg
Well, you didn’t try for long you puffed up waste of whatever you’re made of. You took the huff and pissed off tout de suite when you didn’t get your way. Not that we were sorry to see the back of you.
brexxi
Telt!
Bresx
But, that said, I knew bugger all about prisons, or trains or unemployment or really anything else. Remember, I was the one that couldn’t organise a traffic jam. I am a total airhead… but I’m pretty with it, aren’t I? 
brexfox
Well, it’s all down to you, your doctorness. Just as well it’s easy or you’d cock it up…
brexfo2
…Ooooops, spoke too soon.
brexit
Well, the current government is just the one to do it then.

 

No, honestly, everything will be just fine

Ah, wait, if we can’t eat our pets… what about our neighbours?

++++++++++++

Oh, I say DOCTOR Fox,

What happened to the 40 trade deals you told us you’d have ready on the day we left.

So far, I understand that Switzerland and the Faroe Islands have signed up. And given that you’ve flown around the world 4 times, first class, in the getting of them, I think that’s fairly crap value for money, don’t you?

I’m also rather dubious about the Uk being the 5th largest economy in the world given that the USA, China, Japan, India and Germany are bound to be bigger… not to mention probably France. Certainly, after Brexit, it will be lucky to be the 15th largest…

Unless you count the market in black market food.

++++++++++

I’d say that Nigel Farage’s new party just made a no deal Brexit a lot more likely, given that if the Maybot fails to do what “the British people ‘apparently’ voted for”, ie cut their throats and stab themselves in the heart, then the Tories will lose big time to old Nigel at the next election.

Oh, what fun we are having.

Start stockpiling.