AND HE SITS THERE SMIRKING
PRESUMABLY BECAUSE HE RECKONS THAT THE BBC, THE EXPRESS AND MAIL WILL CALL OUT THE FIRST MINISTER FOR A RIDICULOUS RANT AGAINST THE WILL OF THE BRITISH (ENGLISH) PEOPLE
Boris is on holiday, again.
LANGUAGE WARNING:
Interesting thread on the lorry situation from someone who is involved.
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1409887566753566730.html
I saw on Twitter that he also announced this:
I arrived to work today to discover a £7 per hour pay rise.
A 40% increase… almost overnight.
There are no drivers, things are about to get a bit tasty.
Completely unsustainable, of course, so guess what happens to prices next?
All your s**** comes by lorry.
All of it.
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I’ve just taken two paracetamol ….or as Sajid Javid would say ….I’ve just opened two new hospitals.
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I know you got a lot of fun from the last one DonDon sent, so I asked him for another … and he sent two.
Here’s the first of them
A Knock Back
He’d been peyin coort til a leddy, but she wasnae muckle taen wi him.
At lenth, she gied him the brush-aff, an Dauvit Hume tuik it unco sair.
A wee while efter, the leddy fund oot that her umquile wooster was a scholar o great repute, aye, an mibbe the best-kennt philosopher in aa o Embro toun.
Sae she sent him a letter, ane that was naethin if no short an til the peynt: “I’ve changed my mind.”
Whan he read it, Hume was jist a wee bit set ajee.
An wha wudnae be? He pou’d aff his periwig an scartit his pow.
Syne he tirned owre the letter an screivit this repone:
“So have I.”
Gordon Donaldson (DonDon)
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Thanks to Andimac, T. Mc, Brenda, John, Erik.
Thanks to Kay, John, David and Dave A
Thanks to Gerry, Marica and Dave.
Sanct Oran
Whan Halykirk was but a young thing, an heathenish pratticks hadnae yet wede awa, Columba brocht his twal fiers til Iona, there ti dae the wark o the Lord.
Their plan ti big a kirk suin gaed agley; for it seems the waas jist wudnae staun. Every day they biggit them up, an ilka nicht they tummelt doun again. Columba jaloosed whit was wrang: it was a worricow that was dingin the waas doun. But he kenned the wey ti bate siclike bogles – wi a leevin sacrifice, nae less.
As luck wud hae it, ane o the company, Oran bi nem, pat himsel forrit for the job. Sae wi monie an earnest prayer an chauntit psalm, they laired the aye-quick Oran atween the fundaments o their kirk-ti-be.
Thrie days an thrie nichts gaed by, an Columba gied the order ti howk oot the corp. But nae suiner had they dichtit the stour frae Oran’s face, than the ‘corp’ aipent its een an stertit ti speak.
“Haud aff wi yer kittlin. Ye’ll gar me sneeze.”
Sair ferlied, the monks werenae blate ti speir if Oran had brocht onie wittins back frae the Ither Side:
“Whit was it like bein’ deid?”
“Och, nae sae ill. Ah hae tholed waur.”
“Saw ye oniething o Hell?”
“Aye.”
“Was it no awfie het?”
“Ach, jist middlin warm. It didnae bring me oot in a swat.”
“An Auld Nick? Saw ye ocht o him?”
“Aye, Ah did. An ye ken, a nicer fella ye cudnae howp ti meet. He’s awfie weill spoken.”
“Whit aboot Heiven?”
“Quick, lads,” cries Columba. “Cover him owre again. Afore the auld fuil clypes on the haill jingbang.”
Gordon Donaldson
… AND THOSE WHO ARE STILL WONDERING WHY WE DIDN’T DO IT BEFORE ARE STARTING TO DISCOVER THE ANSWER.
Of course, Mr Hannan has done not badly out of it… or should I say, bending my knee respectfully, the Noble Lord Hannan has profited nicely from Brexit. Another one of Boris’s cronies stuffed into the ridiculously full House of creeping toady sycophants.
In light of the news that there is a shortage of chickens and no milk for milkshakes, Brexiters can pick the reasons for the chaos from this handy bingo card.
Of course, as it turns out, that is NOT what democracy is all about, Ruth…erm, I mean, Your Ladyship. Even without a coalition, in theory, there could be, and indeed has been, a majority in parliament for a referendum.
One which the English/British government has refused to recognise. So much for the will of the British people, eh?
Anyway, this is what passes for democracy in Toryland.
In the meantime Alex Cole Hamilton, the new foreman of the “gang of four” group of Liberal Democrats in Scotland (only because there really was no one else), has said, in an article in the Sunday Post (not linked), that the Greens’ and the SNP’s agreement on working together will mean even less scrutiny of flawed legislation.
I suppose in a way he has a point, but he should remember that his colleagues in the UK parliament did exactly the same thing ten years ago, when their leader of the day took them into a coalition with the Tories, binning, as they hurried to collect their red boxes, ministerial cars, enhanced salaries and Rt Hon prefixes, most of their election pledges.
Coalition is how most countries in Europe (and many elsewhere) operate and indeed, it is how the Scottish parliament was set up to work, by Labour and Liberal Democrats, who worked for 8 years in coalition. Tricia Marwick was quick to point this out to him.
DRoss has also condemned the agreement.
He seems to think the Greens are extremist. But he gives the impression of having forgotten that the Tories had an agreement with the DUP, a party that believes that the world started 6,000 years ago when God created it in 6 days of hard work, that dinosaur bones were put on earth to erm… well, yeah… pass. This is a party that had real links with paramilitary terrorist organisations. A party that got rid of their leader when she didn’t back the party’s attempts to stop the banning of Gay Conversion Therapy. Sources close to the party have said that the move was due to Foster becoming “too moderate”! (Of course, to be fair there was also dissatisfaction that she had allowed the protocol which split Northern Ireland from Great Britain in relation to their relationship with the EU, but the clincher was not supporting the eradication of gays in Northern Ireland.)
The Tories might too remember that the agreement with the DUP was, unlike the Green SNP relationship, one which cost the taxpayer, including those in Scotland, a very great deal of money.
So, Munguin has reached the conclusion that Mr Alex Cole Hamilton, his tan, and Mr DRoss, would be better to save their breath to cool their, well, I was going to say porridge, but that’s probably a bit Jockish for them.
I DREAMT I was eating a curry last night. When I woke up, my pilau was missing.
5.
Gripes, responses
WE LIVE in an age of jet travel only temporarily (we hope) interrupted by the Covid pandemic. Its safe functioning depends entirely on the closest co-operation and understanding between flight crew and maintenance crew on the ground.
After every flight, pilots fill in “gripe sheets” about problems with the aircraft. The ground mechanics respond with what they’ve done and the pilots study that before taking off again.
There’s a lot of humour in it as gripe sheets from UPS Airlines in America reveal. “G” is gripe. “R” is response.
· G – “Left inside main tyre almost needs replacing.”
R – “Almost replaced left inside main tyre.”
· G– “Test flight OK except auto-land very rough.”
R – “”Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.”
· G – “Something loose in cockpit.”
R “Something tightened in cockpit.”
· G – “Dead bugs on windshield.”
R – “Live bugs on back-order.”
· G – “Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.”
R – “Cannot reproduce problem on ground.”
· G – “Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.”
R – “Evidence removed.”
· G – “DME volume unbelievably loud.”
R – “DME volume set to more believable level.”
· G – “Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.”
R – “That’s what friction locks are for.”
· G – “IFF inoperative in OFF mode.”
R – “IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.”
· G – “Suspected crack in windshield.”
R –“Suspect you’re right.”
G – “Number 3 engine missing.”
R – “Engine found on right wing after brief search.”
· G – “Aircraft handles funny.”
R – “Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.”
· G – “Target radar hums.”
R – “Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.”
· G – “Mouse in cockpit.”
· R – “Cat installed.”
· G – “Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.”
· R – “Took hammer away from midget.”
We presume the ground crew did act seriously on all of it.
12.
AN AGEING playboy reports for his annual medical check-up.
“Well, have you managed to cut back on wine, women and song?”
“Oh yes, Doc, I’ve tapered off to beer, one girlfriend and a little light humming.”
21.
Thanks to AndiMac, Graham, T Mc, John, Erik, Brenda and Munguin.
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 