Boris Johnson was visiting one of the Scottish Isles:
Finally he met the Island Council, just as the sun began to shine through the clouds. His spirits began to lift, “And what can the government do to help you here”, he asked.
“Well,” said the leader, “We have two problems. The first is that since the GP retired to the mainland we have no one to run the health centre and …”
“Stop right there”, said Boris whipping out his mobile phone. He chatted away for a couple of minutes then announced, “That’s sorted. A new doctor will be here tomorrow. And can I say how clearly that shows up the difference between the way we do things in Westminster compared with the government in Edinburgh. Now what was the other problem?” he said beaming and preening for the cameras.
The council leader gave a heavy sigh and said, “We have no mobile phone reception here on the island.”
Thank you to John, T, Erik, Brenda, Andi and Panda Paws.
Some laptops given out in England to support vulnerable children home-schooling during lockdown contain malware, according to a BBC report.
Teachers have said that the malware appeared to be of Russian origin. They became aware of the Gamarue.I worm while setting up the lap tops for children who have no access to internet at home.
The English Department for Education said it was aware and urgently investigating.
According to Lisa O’Carroll, Guardian Brexit correspondant, HRMC boss Jim Harra has confirmed that consumers will be hit by price hikes when they order goods from the EU online.
2. Customs duties if goods are not EU/Brit product under rules of origin rules.
3. Cost of courier/Royal Mail for doing the customs clearance for you. (€12)
But, lest you should get down heartened, please remember, you can now have a Passeport Bleu from the Pritster.
Don’t they tell the MP for the 18th century anything? I suppose in fairness he’s thinking of bands of strolling players as opposed to Little Mix or Ariana Grande…
The more I hear of the royals and their odd beliefs, the more republican I become.
Apparently in 2002, his royal bloody highness, the duke of Rothsay, prince of Wales and duke of Kernow (yawn) etc., wrote to Tony Blair the then prime minister, asking him not to ban fox hunting.
“There is … complete bewilderment that the Government is apparently responding to calls to ban something which is genuinely environmentally friendly, which uses no modern technology, which does not pollute the countryside, which is completely natural – in that it relies entirely on man’s ancient and, indeed, romantic relationship with dogs and horses.”
He also suggested the fight waged by animal rights activists to ban hunting was motivated by class war.
I can’t get my head around why we not only tolerate these fossils, but pay them multi-millions of taxpayers pounds to ponce around like gigantic relics of autrefois.
Boris the Embarrassment criticised (“part Kenyan”) Barack Obama for removing the bust of Winston Churchill from the Oval Office. Johnson considered it a slight to Britain.
“Some said it was a symbol of the part-Kenyan President’s ancestral dislike of the British empire – of which Churchill had been such a fervent defender,” Mr Johnson wrote in the lead-up to the Brexit referendum.
Churchill is, or was, a hero of Mr Johnson. A junior aristocrat of his times, he stood for, among other things, Empire, misogyny, class barriers, racism, British superiority and, I guess all the things that people like President Obama (and now President Biden) have little time for.
Trump put Winnie back in the Oval Office, presumably because he shares Mr Churchill’s values…and was thanked by Mrs May (remember the strong and stable woman) for doing so.
But now that President Biden has moved Churchill out again, Mr Johnson has been careful not to criticise him.
It seems that even he understands that when you are a prime minister desperately trying to get noticed by a new American president who gives the impression of being much more interested in Canada and the EU than in Little Britain, it’s probably not a great idea to criticise what HE has in HIS office.
I wonder what decoration Johnson has in his office?
So, Donny’s gone, after making a speech highlighting his achievements and, at long last, wishing the new president good luck, without, child that he is, mentioning his name.
He said that he thought the new administration should do well, because it had “a foundation” to do really well. Yep, apart from an horrific health crisis and a small matter of sedition. Only a few weeks ago he, his family and his lawyer incited violence and insurrection at the state capital for which he has once again been impeached.
Perhaps the scariest thing he said, though, was something that Arnold Terminator Schwarzenegger, a rival tv presenter and Republican politician nearly said in his film star days (but Trump used the royal “we”).
“We’ll be back” Trump said, adding “in some form”… whatever that means. Maybe he’s reckoning on coming back as a mushroom… or more likely an orange or mango.
Well, now it appears that he is sick of hearing about the inadequacy of the English meals provided for kids whose parents are would normally qualify for free school meals.
<Clarkson said that a woman requesting to be given supermarket vouchers instead of the food boxes was “presumably [doing it] so that she could exchange it at the supermarket for fags and scratch cards”>.
Or maybe, Mr Clarkson, given that the government, that is the taxpayer, is paying a private company £30 per child for these packages, which are supposed to last for 10 days, they would actually like £30 worth of food, the woman just th0ught the kids should get a bit more out of it.
I mean, half a tomato and half a pepper and a tiny piece of carrot… Is this global Britain leading the world? I know we should all be fighting obesity, but starving people to death is probably at the extreme end of the solutions available.
Two US National Guards have been pulled from Inauguration duty tomorrow, because of links to the Far Right…
Why is this not a scandal? Why are people not calling for Johnson to go? Why are the Scottish Tories whining about what a terrible job Nicola Sturgeon is doing, while their own English government is making such a pig’s ear of this pandemic?
Douglas Ross MP
If it means stopping the SNP and their push for indyref2, I would be part of a unionist coalition. The last Scottish Labour leader wouldn’t work with us. Will you @AnasSarwar @MonicaLennon7?
That’s very flattering Douglas but it’s a red card from me. See you on the campaign trail where we’ll be fighting for radical social and economic change, not a political agenda that looks after the wealthy few.
Oh, dear, Dougie no mates. Richard Leonard wouldn’t touch you with a tarry pole and now candidate, Monica Lennon takes the same view.
I wonder what millionaire, Anas Sarwar will have to say to that.
After this, I suspect that even his answer will be a polite but firm Nah!
Nah, Dougie, mate. It wasn’t working with unionists. It was working with Tories. There’s a difference.
Both candidates know that your party is toxic. The UK election after they joined with you in UKOK and Better Together, they lost 97% of their seats. They’ve never recovered. And if that’s not enough, look at what happened to the Liberal Democrats after their coalition with your party in London. I suppose you could try Willie Rennie, although as 5th largest party out of five, I’m not sure that even if he agreed, it would do you much good. Especially as his English boss just ruled out re-joining the EU.
I noted that Parler, the hard right social media platform, so favoured by Trump and his supporters, shut down recently because none of the app providers wanted their companies to be associated with it, had among its contributors, the ever lovely Tories James Cleverly, Nadine Dories and the Brexit Burger, Michael (Sniffy) Gove. Steve Baker and Ben Bradley also joined up along with other less known names from the Cons.
I’ve often wondered why the broadcasters here pronounce the name similarly to “parlour”, when the obvious way to me, would be “parlay”…as it presumably means “to speak”. Anyone?
The SNP has been accused of being out of touch because they have launched an independence task force at a time when well over 50% of the population wants independence. Meanwhile the Noble and Aristocratic Lord McConnell says from his vantage point on a comfortable red bench, that the bulk of us don’t want a referendum at the moment. He probably thinks we should wait till 2055, like his friend, De Pfeffel Johnson. It’s the rarefied air that the upper classes breathe that does it, methinks.
Has anyone worked out how the Home Office, under Ms Patel, managed to lose so many important criminal records? I thought they did daily backups of information of such import.
I work in the scientific research & everything is backed up, you can only ever lose a days data at the most. Considering how important info on criminals is, you’d imagine the Home Office would at least do the same or has it been outsourced & that’s the real problem?
Whatever… it does seem really inefficient even for for global Little Britain and its notoriously chaotic Home Office!