JUST FOR A LAUGH

1.

2.

3. I was here first!

4.

5.

6.

7. Is it a person? No, it’s a scarcrow. How can you be sure? He’s not looking at his mobile. True.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13. From the Netherlands.

14.

15. Yeah whatever you say, Liz, dear. Now take your medicine like a good catastrophic failure and have a little sleep. Give my best to the lettuce.

16. Darling, what’s happended to the cat? I don’t know. I gave him whisky as you asked. WHISKAS, I said! WHISKAS!!!

17. I’m looking for the book: “The Ideal Man”. On the right…the science fiction shelf.

18.

19.

20.

*****TM sent me this as a video. I can’t lift it into the blog, but fortunately it’s on TikTok, so I can link to it. It’s both hilarious and sad, because it is so true.

21.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

Thanks to Brenda, Claudine, BLP and TM

Just arrived:

Another TikTok from BLP

SOPPY SUNDAY

  1. This is the new trainee doorkeeper at Munguin Towers. I’m just keeping him right. https://youtu.be/H2n7opkW5jI

2. Perfect place for a little Field Mouse to rest up, as long as the pesky bees stay away till I’ve had 40 winks.

3. Funny Trunk Shakes?

4. Sometimes towards night time a bear-mom needs a bit of a rest.

5. The Drosera hortiorum, a carnivorous sundew recently discovered. Watch out. It’ll eat ya. Well, it’s Australian, so it would, wouldn’t it?

6. Des Res, complete with rain canopy which doubles as a sun canopy of there’s a change in the weather. Perfect for a humming bird of discerning taste.

7. Also, it’s convenient to all local amenities if you don’t mind sharing with agreeable hard working neighbours.

8. Awwww

9. Raccoon and fawn become friends.

10. So do a horse and a people.

11. Probably time I was on a diet, huh?

12. This is my human…well, her hand anyway. It’s the best part of her because it’s the part that gives me food and scratches. Not sure why she needs the other parts.

13. Who could ask for more than a day at the seaside? I’m one very lucky little elephant.

14. If that hen’s going on a diet, I guess I should too… but the Nosh at Munguin’s is very agreeable.

15. That’s a pity. I’ve been fishing and I was going to offer you some… Still I can manage them all myself.

16. Mummy, tell me the one about the fat man who said that we had to have straight bananas and got to be the prime minister because he was better at telling lies than all the other idiot peoples.

17. We’re trees in the acting profession. I’m playing Rabbit in the House at Pooh Corner and my friend on the right is playing Queen Mrs Parker Bowles in one of these period comedies from the 18th century. We’re looking for someone to play Rees Mogg. If you see a tall skinny tree with glasses, a nanny and a dismal grasp of Latin, please tell me.

18. Bath time for Birdies.

19. We don’t have to get dressed up every day in flowers, Danny.

20. I’m also an acting tree. I’m auditioning to play Jacob Rees Mogg in Agatha Christie’s “Evil Under the Sin” or as we might call it at Eton “Malum sub peccato”. “By the pricking of my roots, something evil this way shoots…Oh look, it’s Braverman”.

21. Have you any idea why peoples are scared of bats? I’m a wee cutie.

22. What do you think of my place? Also a Des Res!

23. I’m looking for a Nanny. If you see Jacob Rees Tree can you ask if I can borrow his? After all he must be in his 60s by now. How can he still need a Nanny?

24. Dakar, Sénégal.

25. That’s my shift over. Hard graft at Munguin’s Republic. So I’ll see you next week… I’m off to bed.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Munguin wishes to thank Quokka.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Oh, she will be pleased. I bet she just couldn’t quite remember where she’d left it. That tends to happen with cheap unimportant things that you bought out of illegally offshored bonuses for defective medical equipment that you sold in the middle of a deadly pandemic.

Old age forgetfulness is sad.

***********

The trouble with Truss is that she appears to assume that just because she is incapable of feeling emotions like shame, embarrassment or horror that her stupidity cost the country at least £75 billion, then other animals should be the same.

She seems to have failed to grasp that other animals aren’t necessarily as base as she is.

She returned to work yesterday after a three month fully paid break, who knows where (possibly hiding on Moan’s yacht… they would be good together) and voted for treating animals as if they cannot feel pain.

Maybe it’s just a Tory thing. After all, their lot like to chase foxes and watch them being ripped apart by dogs. Then they smear the fox blood on their young. They are odd.

Like this woman:

First of all, game girl, it really has nothing to do with you. Our country, our morals, our laws.

The Fife Foxhounds have clearly decided to obey the law.

I’m not sure how many jobs will have been lost but I suspect not many, and whilst any loss of jobs is regrettable, it’s not normally a Tory kind of thing to worry about it. Maybe someone will explain why people lose their homes because there’s no fox murdering going on? People lose jobs all the time, but in Scotland that tends rarely to make them homeless.

You selectively, over 200 years, bred dogs to rip foxes to pieces?

Can’t say I’m sorry to hear that that will stop.

************

This is the kind of thing we like seeing with animals in these parts.

************

Steve Chalke

Why does British Gas – whose profits are up by 700% – go to the courts for warrants to break into the homes of the poorest (in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis) & then force-fit prepayment meters, which leave their customers cold & unable to cook? What drives that behaviour?

Addition by Munguin.

Why are British Gas’s profits up by 700% full stop?

We are all paying FAR higher gas and electricity bills, because we were told the cost of providing these items had increased. Seemingly because… ‘there’s a war on’ (©Dad’s Army and DRoss).

The 700% increase suggests that that was NOT the reason. I’m suspecting GREED has reared its ugly head here.

In France bills have increased by 4% and are to be capped at 15% increase in the next year. In the UK gas has increased by 141% since winter 2021/22 and electricity by 65%. Heaven only knows where British bills will be capped next year (on top of the monstrous increases this year. Maybe when British Gas’s profits increase by 1000%?

As for breaking into people’s houses and changing their meters so they, no matter how disabled or old or ill; no matter how many children they have, and no matter their circumstances… can be left with no power in the middle of the winter.?

That is inhuman. Very British though.

British Gas’s owners, Centrica, says that the practice has been stopped, and the boss says he feels “disappointed, livid and gutted” (a strange mixture of sentiments). Meanwhile the English Business Secretary, Corinne Stockheath, says he is “horrified”. I take that with a ton of salt.

Offgem says that it has launched an investigation.

I trust that the people whose houses were altered by this action will be compensated out of the 700% increase in profit. Maybe remove it from the chairman’s bonus.

**********

JAKE’S ALL UPSET ABOUT FOLK WORKING FROM HOME

Jake Berry MP

I haven’t seen this many civil servants in Westminster since the start of the pandemic. Just a shame they’ve only come in to stand on a picket line. Back to #workingfromhome tomorrow.

So Jake Berry (no, me neither except that apparently he said of people struggling to heat and eat that they should cut consumption or get a higher paid job), is getting his panties in a knot over the fact that some Civil Servants are working from home.

And that a very small number of them (see above) were picketing outside some government office.

I’ve never quite understood all the fuss is about working from home.

Sir Jake may not know it, but what with it being 2023 and all, there are things called computers, and there’s this smart app called Zoom and, making use of these electronic devices, it is reasonably practical to do what you might have been doing in the office, in your lounge or in the garden or if you are posh, the conservatory or withdrawing chamber.

It may not have occurred to his sirness that, unlike him, civil servants working in London may have to travel from the South coast, 50-60 miles away. or at least a very substantial distance, every day to work in central London.

Jake, on the other hand, as an MP from “Oop North” will have a second home in central London paid for and furnished with all utilities paid by the taxpayer with exceedingly generous expenses to boot.

He may not have given any thought to the fact that these journeys are a couple of hours long and completed on overcrowded, dirty, slow, badly maintained, often out of date and invariably late trains (which in winter are probably full of people coughing cold, flu and Covid germs all over the place) and that, working from home means they miss all that … and make their days 4+ hours shorter so they get to spend time with their families.

Jake’s prospects don’t look too good at the moment, but given that he’s a Rt Hon. and has been knighted for, erm, doing his well-paid job, I expect he will land on his feet.

HAVE A BUCKET HANDY…

The vomitus Hancock was on tv today. (Video at the end of the article).

Having been sacked for having a sexual encounter in his office at a time when everyone was being told to mask up and keep a 2 meter distance from everyone else, Hancock decided to head off in to the jungle and play at being a “celebrity”, whilst being paid by the taxpayer for being the “honourable” member of parliament for West Suffolk. You couldn’t make it up.

He wasn’t a celebrity, he was a disgraced English cabinet minister; he’s not honorable, indeed, quite the opposite. Imagine his kids having to watch him fondle his paramour’s ass.

He said at the time, by way of excuse for taking the time off, that he would donate a ‘substantial’ part of the £330,000 fee to charity.

Spoiler. He hasn’t. Instead he donated £10,000 which, out of £330,000, can hardly be called substantial.

He also wrote a book on his experiences, the “Pandemic Diaries” along with right wing journalist, Isabel Oakeshott, doubtless neglecting to mention the dubious contracts he handed out to various people including his local pub landlord and the family company. The book flopped.

According to the Mirror:

“Reviewers dubbed the move an exercise in self-justification and score settling, with the MP trying to engrave the statement that the successful UK vaccine rollout over Covid-19 was single-handedly his work. All of the disasters of the global pandemic, including the tragic handling of care home residents, were somebody else’s fault.

“The delayed restrictions were blamed on the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies, the terrible test and trace system was down to Public Health England and the failure to close UK borders was the fault of No 10. Comparing him to Alan Partridge, one reviewer said simply that ‘his ego got in the way’, adding: “Most people I speak to hate him.””

As my Granny would have said… “A’bdie’s oot o’ step bar oor Jock.”

So here he is justifying his small donation to charity with all the arrogance you’d associate with a ex-Tory ex-cabinet minister, but still, amazingly “the Right Honorable”.

I really wish that interviewers would use that style when interviewing these crooks and charlatans.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

For those tempted to believe Andrew Bridgen (few, I suspect, for various reasons, not least of which that he was recently called a proven liar by an English High Court judge) on the subject of Covid Vaccines. Here’s some other evidence on Covid from the USA and England.

Mr Bridgen spoke to a nearly empty House of Commons.

************

Integrity: Set of lying, cheating, bullying low life.

Accountability: Not accountable. Elected with an 80 majority on 44% of the vote. No legitimacy at all in Scotland, Wales or the North or Ireland, yet backed up by a totally unelected second house which Johnson stuffed full of his personal and party donors, including the son of a KGB spy.

Professionalism: Really, where do you start? I’m trying to think of a more third-rate bunch of amateurs in my lifetime and I’m failing dismally to find one.

************

So, the question of the day might be “which one of them is lying?”.

Boris Johnson, well known liar, sacked from several positions for lying about everything from bananas to extramarital affairs and abortions with Petronella, says that Putin threatened to kill him with missiles.

Putin, about whose veracity, to be fair, I have no particular knowledge, says he did not threaten to kill him.

But here’s Downing Street’s readout of the call when Boris Johnson says Vladimir Putin threatened to kill him in a missile strike.

If Johnson is telling the truth, maybe the people who summarise these calls for the records should try to stay awake during them… of maybe get employ people who speak Russian a bit more fluently. Job for Ed or Lord Siberia?

Maybe the real question of the day is…who cares?

**********

**********

Anyone advise me on where these reductions are being made, because I seem to be shopping in all the wrong places.

**********

***********

I see Munguin is giving a talk today…

JUST FOR A LAUGH

1.

2. Grate Britsewer

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15. Soon in your area: “Damn, the extension lead is too short.”

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30. I no longer eat meat; I get around on a bike and I don’t drink alcohol any more. What? Have you gone Green? No. I’m poor.

Thanks to AndiMac and Brenda.

SOPPY SUNDAY

1. Don’t expect a smile this early in the morning. Now where did I put my baccy?

    2. I was listening to Les Baker’s “Have you got any news of the iceberg” when I was looking for photos. (see yesterday’s post from Nigel).

    3. Yorkshire, England.

    4. Well, do you think that’s fair? Damned cats!

    5. We can be friends, if you like.

    6. We’re gonna be making sandcastles.

    7. Sandcastles? Is that something very small kangaroos can play?

    8. This Garter Snake is all dressed up and no where much to go.

    9. Hoy, Cat? You wanna come up here and play?

    10. No, idiot Bear. We are not amused by playing.

    11. It’s all in a day’s work on this farm.

    12. Dogs has got to do something for their living. Rescuing little lambs seems like a good idea to us..

    13. And after the sandcastles you have to get cleaned up.

    14. Rice Walls, Vietnam.

    15. My mum said I should get my hair cut before appearing on Soppy Sunday, but I’m a rebel, so here I is!!!

    16. Munguin wants to live there. Blue Jacaranda.

    17. Munguin: There are insufficient cats this week. Do something.

    18. There are never enough swans.

    19. In a world where species are disappearing with frightening rapidity, it’s great news that some are found not to be extinct.

    20. Floods are bad enough in Scotland, but in Australia they sometimes mean less than welcome visitors.

    21. OK, you get the gig.

    22. Cappadocia, Turkey.

    23. I’m a tiger so you better watch out. GRRRR.

    24. What kept ya? Munguin, would you put up with this from Tristan?

    25. No wonder I have a smile on my face. Mummy brought home dinner.

    Tristan and Munguin wanted me to say thank you to Kay, Nicky and Quokka.