RANDOM THOUGHTS

Who is paying for this unit? What is its remit? Who oversees what they are doing and ensures that it does not break Scots law, particularly as it is based in England… in London…and, y’know, the Metropolitan Police… Need I say more?

The bloke who was supposed to be investigating the Downing Street Parties until he found himself investigating himself and had to be replaced with Sue Grey, who in turn had to be replaced with Dame Dick. Are you still with me?

OK, so him, Simon Case, has been urged to withhold funding from the Scottish government that would go towards putting forward their case for a second referendum (as stated in their manifesto, and that of the Greens). This would mean that they would not be able to fulfil their manifesto commitment to a referendum and would, I suppose, put them in the same position as the Tories who came to power promising, among many other things, not to get rid of the pensioners’ triple lock and not to put up taxes.

Even Adam Tomkins thinks it’s a bad idea, probably because even the meanest intellect (and I’m not suggesting that applies to the good professor) can see that it would be bad for the unionist side and good for the independence side.

How people in other countries must laugh at us and thank heavens they weren’t born Venezuelan or British.

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Talking about thanking heavens…

Mr Gove, the Disco Dancing Queen has told Andrew Marr that people should apply Christian forgiveness to all the party-gates and presumably all the other gates too, you know like… Arcuri-gate, decorating-gate, holidays-gate, Patterson-gate, give contracts to our buddies-gate, lie to the queen-gate, let the mother-in-law use government cars-gate, Queen Truss on the royal plane-gate and other such wonders of modern post-Brexit reality.

Christian forgiveness, however, requires more than the priest or minister saying … yeah, ok dude, you are totally forgiven, as I would have thought someone of Mr Gove’s experience would have known.

There has to be repentance, which must be the sincere and remorseful, and there has to be atonement, which is the action of making amends for the wrong you have done.

Now tell me, when did you ever see Johnson look in the least like he gave a stuff about his crimes or do anything to atone thereof?

So, if we are going to have Christian forgiveness, we’re going to need to see some genuine (LOL) repentance and some atonement. He’ll have to find someone to do it for him though, because he is incapable

And of course, Christian forgiveness doesn’t just apply to the toffs.

We’d have to have compensation for all the people who were charged by the police and fined frightening amounts of money for breaking lockdown (£10,000 for some people). That money will have to be returned. And compensation given for the shame and embarrassment they have suffered.

Sometimes I think Gove doesn’t think things through… It’s all the discoing, methinks….or something.

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That’s all going well, then…

I’m wondering why benefits would be “unleashed”.

He’s going to have a war on EU red tape.

It’s just a thought that, I would have thought the time to do battle with the red tape would be when the UK was a member and had a say in things.

Anyway, we all look forward to this Blitz of Benefits, because we have been <snigger> anticipating them since we were promised them 6 years ago.

I’m sure Munguinites will happily compile a list of these benefits that we shall enjoy as a third country.

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Just for a Laugh

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It’s a blind date. Things are getting hot.

He: “Do you object if we make love?”

She: “That’s something I’ve never done.”

“Never made love?”

“No, never objected.”

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8. French teacher’s report!!

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10.

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen anything like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost….it’s a man thing.

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Thanks to BLP, Andi, John, Erik, Brenda, TM.

Late bonuses:

I’m not in the habit of making fun of people who are ill, especially with a deadly disease, but this ass has now apparently caught the Covid at which he laughed so heartily.

I don’t wish him harm, indifferent actor, tuneless singer, talentless artist and thoroughly unpleasant person though he is, but I hope he won’t be burdening the NHS in England with his symptoms.

They are already very busy, and surely any interventions they might make would be an attack on his civil liberties and human rights, and remove his body’s freedom to deal with things its way…as well as holding up treatment for people who obeyed the rules.

SOPPY SUNDAY

1. Look into my eyes…

2. We’re twins, Bob and Bobby Cat.

3. He’s sun bathing and I’m on guard in case of cats!

4. Monastery of Agios Nikolaos, in Greece. Family home, Niko?

5. Loch Garry (Dave) was such a success last week that Andi sent in more of it. Isn’t it just awesome?

6. What d’ya think of them tusks, huh?

7. Two horses having a gossip, in Icelandic Horse.

8. Mating dance of the Red Crowned Crane. Very elegant.

9. Lochinver.

10. Shhhhhh.

11. When you know you’re mid morning snack is there, but you can’t quite find it.

12. Lofoten, Norway.

13. A murmuration of starlings, appropriately bird shaped.

14. I suppose it makes a change from Pelican Crossings and Zebra Crossings.

15. So, something wrong with Zebras, is there? You’d better not cross me… That’s Zebra humour by the way.

16. And that goes for me too otherwise you’ll end up in here.

17. Kyiv, a topical city for the moment. I understand the Pork Market Cheese woman is off to that region of the world next week, presumably in her personal air transport. Her Royal Truss! They have our condolences.

18. Baby Aardvark.

19. What do you mean it’s cold? Get in here like a proper cow would.

20. Right. Munguin’s closing up soon so he can have dinner and some fine wine. Be back next Sunday… don’t be late.

Thanks to Dave A and AndiMac.

ALL OUR YESTERDAYS

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Bonus: Dusty and Mel Tormé

Thanks to Dave and Marcia.

IT’S ALL A MATTER OF CONTEXT

Classy or what?

Chris Musson, a <snigger> journalist with the <snigger> “Scottish” S**, is complaining that the Scottish government is spending £700,000 a year on a team of civil servants who are working on Independence.

When faced with the argument that independence was in the manifestos of both the Green Party and the SNP, he says that “around half the country disagrees with it”.

Of course, I’m not sure where he gets that figure from, but assuming it’s true, it would also be reasonable to point out a few pertinent facts to get this in proportion.

The Scottish Government employs over 7,000 civil servants. A FOI request shows that 11 are currently working on the Independence matter. So proportionally, that is well under around half of the civil servants employed by the Scottish government.

It’s also not unreasonable to point out that the British/English government has a whole department working to countering independence including some of their best brains…

They expanded their pro-union Scotland Office operation and built a rather large (and incredibly unattractive) eyesore of an office in central Edinburgh at massive costs. Then you have Michael Gove, heading up a Union Department of the British Government designed to make sure that they hang on to the apparent “massive liability” that is Jockland.

Needless to say, the new building outside which Union Jack is seen with his, um team of “ministers” is called Queen Elizabeth House, because they really seem to lack any kind of imagination. Still, it could have been worse, they could have called it after Airmiles!

I’m not sure how many people they employ there, but I seem to recall hearing the figure of 3,000 at one point. I wonder how much that costs.

We might also add that around half the population disagreed with Brexit, nonetheless the British government set up a department under David Davis… and a succession of other ministers to run it.

The Department for Exiting the European Union (DExEU) was a ministerial department which was operational from 14 July 2016 to 31 January 2020, when Johnson, after lying to the Queen, “got Brexit done” at least for a few weeks, until they decided that the oven ready deal that the prime minister had raved about, was in fact crap, and needed to be revoked. (For a very short term department, it didn’t half have a turnover of staff.)

That department had more than 700 employees.

Ho hum.

MASKS LIKE MOST OF THE WORLD… OR NO MASKS, LIKE ENGLAND AND THE SCOTTISH TORIES?

“Nicola Sturgeon has refused to lift face mask restrictions in classrooms, despite experts insisting it is now safe to do so. The Scottish Tories will continue to push for an end to the requirement immediately”, say the Scottish Tories.

Firstly, I would ask, not unfairly, in such a vastly important matter, WHO ARE THESE EXPERTS?

Important to note here that this is the BRITISH MEDICAL ASSOCIATION. I realise that some Brits are unprepared to accept the views of WHO, on the basis that they are only foreigners, but these people are GREAT BRITISH. Surely the Tories listen to them.

It’s important to name your experts, Messers Ross and associates, because it seems to me that every single expert I have read has said exactly the opposite of this. Even, English and British experts!!! (So you can trust them.)

About a million children in England – one out of every eight pupils – were off school last Thursday, as Covid-related absences rose.

The official figures also show staffing problems worsening, with a quarter of schools seeing teachers and leaders’ absence rates above 15%. This is pretty much unsustainable.

Andrew Gregory, health editor of the Guardian says: The British Medical Association, @TheBMA, says removing all restrictions in England “will inevitably increase transmission” and “place the public at greater risk”, adding that it risks a “rebound” of Omicron infections when “the NHS is still under crippling pressure”.

The government has pledged to abolish almost every existing Covid restriction over the coming weeks in England and “get life completely back to normal”, a *course popular with Tory MPs but which has prompted stark warnings from health groups.

BBC Scotland, hardly the Scottish Government’s best friend reports that doctors urge caution on the isolation rules.

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SasasaG  3.5%@LongCovidHell

Replying to @sajidjavid

What about my 9yo and 7yo? They have NOTHING in their Covid soup school. Previously fit & healthy, their first infection gave them a combination of eye damage, lung damage & ongoing symptoms for months. Not even 2 weeks into this term & they’re ill with covid again!

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It was said early on in the pandemic, by REAL experts, that Herd Immunity was not a possibility with this virus.

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*Of course, I imagine the main reason for removing all restrictions in England is that the ERG people want that.

They see masks as a restriction of the Great British freedom that they just won when they escaped the EU.

There are somewhere around 100 of them.

If they decided Johnson had to go, he would be gone. You don’t want to fall out with the ERG!

So… there you have it.

As ever, Johnson will look after himself at no matter what the cost.

But, dear Tories, if you can come up with reports from medical experts (preferably ones that have some sort of knowledge of virology) which says that it would be better all round if we had no restrictions, then name them and let’s have a debate.

This is far to important for politics.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE UK GOVERNMENT COULDN’T BE MORE REVOLTING

Ian Blackford makes a point about millions of people being dipped into poverty & this is how the Tories respond when Johnson makes a fat joke. If this doesn’t sicken you, there is something deeply wrong with you. pic.twitter.com/djUXwrlvKU

— Billy Misanthrope 🌘 (@BillyVacant) January 26, 2022

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Johnson has created a complicity in rule-breaking in those around him.

"No ethical leadership from the top… [increases] the likelihood of these things happening further down the chain from people who say 'well, the boss isn’t concerned about the rules'"pic.twitter.com/FnoD7wAYib

— Hardeep Matharu (@Hardeep_Matharu) December 10, 2021

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The Liberal Democrats? Are they still a thing?

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Maybe being a little over-kind here.

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This thread on the Tory’s week, is always worth a read. Russ is hilarious.

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What the f*** is this. pic.twitter.com/LDZZtDSOLM

— Brendan May (@bmay) January 21, 2022

Ummm, it’s the English transport secretary on a crowded train, with no mask, advertising the Daily Telegraph, which used to be a newspaper, and irritating everyone around him. I’m not entirely certain why he is poking his nose into the information that is given out on trains which are run by private companies (mainly from abroad). I suspect he may be trying to distract the attention of the public from the queues in Kent, the heating bills, the cost of food, the ongoing crisis in the NHS, the sacking of ministers for being Muslim, and the intimidation of MPs who displease the government. Or maybe it’s from the prime minister and his thoughtless inconsideration of “ordinary” people who were having such a hard and miserable time while he was getting wrecked with his staff at various and sundry parties. Shapps has always been a figure of fun, but this is pretty grim, even from him.

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It’s the uniquely British way to do democracy.

Lord Agnew resigns from House of Lords over UK Govt incompetence and corruption. Let’s get rid of the whole rotten lot of them. #ScottishIndependence pic.twitter.com/B1qbdC7WBI

— Phantom Power (@PhantomPower14) January 24, 2022

WOW!

Lord Agnew, a treasury minister, has resigned over the government’s failure to deal properly with the fraud surrounding Covid contracts.

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JUST FOR A LAUGH

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2. Readable version here.

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4. The Sue Gray Report.

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17. Puss in…stilettos?

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Thanks to John, Brenda, TM, Wilson and AndiMac.

SOPPY SUNDAY

1. Morning all.

2. Argh… its hot here. Send rain.

3. Snow in Algerian desert.

4. Mum’s a taxi.

5. Neddy the Seahorse.

6. Little Glenshee.

7. Did you ever, in all your life, see anything a beautiful as us?

8. I’m on guard at Munguin Towers, just in case we get any intruders.

9. You have an appointment with Munguin, do you? And you got past that bird? Well, now you have to get past us!

10. Not long now!!!

11. They use big bricks in Portugal!

12. What a handy pillow this is.

13. Not sure where this is but I’m willing to bet it’s somewhere Dave has recently flown over.

14. Ashgabat, Turkmenistan.

15. Happy birthday to me…

16. What even IS a cat?

17. I’m ready for my close up, Mr DeMille.

18. And a lot of bones and cats to chase, please. Amen.

19. He Haw!

20. Pilbara, Western Australia. The after effects of the volcanic eruption at Tonga.


And just when you thought that daft Tris had forgotten… Here’s the other Orangutan…ME!

I should think so too. I’ve been waiting around to be put in pride of place and the dozy article forgot about me… or he can’t count. One of these.

Yes, that’s me put in my place. Anyway, thanks to Quokka and Dave.

And here’s another bonus:

How you, that’s my nose!