From: Munguin Southern Towers, Antarctica.

To: The Daily Mail, England

Dear Daily Mail,

I’m an animal that likes to give credit where it is due, even to people with whom I tend not to much agree.

In this case I am referring to Ms Pritti Patel, who, when she hasn’t been bullying people to the point where they attempt suicide or are obliged to give up their lifelong careers for the sake of their sanity, has been working to take away freedom of movement from the peoples of Europe.

Taking back control of her borders, she said.

She, poor woman, has worked her fingers to the bone to get this arranged within the narrow 4.5-year time frame that the UK gave itself to Get Brexit (which means Brexit) done…or die in a ditch!

And what has she got in return I ask you…?

I’ll tell you then.

Boney Fingers! That’s what.

And after doing this, all for the likes of you and your cousins at the Express and the S*n, because you said that that was what you wanted… the “Will of the British People” you said, you metaphorically slap her in the face by complaining that the same people will only be able to spend 90 days in that dreadful foreign place without returning HOME to where the heart is, to the wonderful sunlit uplands of Utopia (note there is no E before that U).

Infact, to this sceptered isle; this England.

It’s hardly Ms Patel’s fault if you and your dim readers weren’t aware of the 90-day rule for foreigners in the EU or indeed that, once a state leaves the EU it is no longer a member of the EU and has in fact LEFT the EU, and, therefore, third country rules apply to it.

Maybe you should have explained that to them… erm …in easy to understand English.

You should never assume that your readers understand stuff. Mostly, they don’t!

After all they are the same mouth breathers who believed that they held all the cards, could have their cake and eat it, that there would be a spare £350 million a week for the NHSs and that a deal could be done in an afternoon over a cup of tea.

Anyway, I feel that, as an experienced published myself, it is my duty to advise you that you will need to explain to folk that most of the garbage they were fed by Messrs Johnson, Gove, Cummings and their likes, was just a load of BS.

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The reality is that

– the only cards we held were jokers (Gove, eh!!!);

– the cake that were going to eat (and yet still have) was baked in 2016, went mouldy and was eaten by the mice in my cellars at Munguin Towers;

– the £350 million a week was a bit like one of these ads for anti-wrinkle cream where the model has been airbrushed;

– and that most continental types prefer coffee to tea.

So much for Global Britain.

It will indeed respect the law. I’m not sure that it is international law (legal experts?)

It’s EU rules though. You can spend up to three months in the EU without leaving. Nothing new there. Twas ever thus. You can come from Canada or Botswana of Japan and stay for 90 days without having to move on.

You can’t just move into another country from outside the union and live there, using their facilities and acting like nothing had changed.

It has, in accordance with the “will of the British people”.

Kind regards



9. Nah, mate, you don’t!
15. Hey, I shoulda been in Soppy Sunday!

Thank you to Marcia, Brenda, Brendan, Erik, John, T and Andi.

We had a lot of contributions, so I’ve held some over for later in the week. Given that the news is likely to be unremittingly bad, we’ll probably need them.

Bonus now is a song from Andimac.


Oh, and this, just in, from Erik

Tesco, Aldi and Lidl are giving away free turkeys to any one who can run faster than the security.



1. School on Sundays… swinging class.
2. Sunset on Srem.
Buckeye Beat: Baby Hippo in Cincinnati | NewsDepth Topic | ideastream
3. Time for a nap, I think.
4. Some say butter wouldn’t melt… As it happens I am reliably informed that this fur ball, Louie, isn’t one of the Bulgarian cat family, but in fact, lives in Dubai, with Frankie.
Tegucigalpa, Honduras - June weather forecast and climate information |  Weather Atlas
5. Honduras capital.
Rare Baby Zebra With Polka Dots Sighted In Maasai Mara, Kenya - The Dodo
6. They call me Dotty!
7. Come Fly with Dave.
Eagle Owls in the UK - Native or Not? - Conservation Articles & Blogs - CJ
8. Johnson… twit twit.
23 Random Animal Facts That May Surprise You in 2020 | Animals, Tiger  photography, Cute animals
9. Come on in. I’ll try to remember not to eat you.
10. Yes, it’s us again. All the way from Bulgaria.
11. Don’t tell the EU or these Brits that I’m hiding down here. I don’t want to be eaten.
12. I’m a very little Armadillo.
13. Excellent nectar…
14. Munguin? Nope, I can’t say I’ve seen him. If I know him he’ll be in the bar.
Sunflower Festivals for Seattle-Area Families | ParentMap
15. Trespassers will be prosecuted!
When to See the Northern Lights in Norway | Travel + Leisure
16. Northern Lights in Norway.
17. Am I, or am I not, the cutest lamb you ever saw? Here’s a clue. The answer is yes, you are.

18. I kid you not, the bus service here is even worse than in the UK.

100+ Lions Mane Mushrooms ideas | lions mane mushroom, stuffed mushrooms,  lion mane
19. Mushroom omelette?
20. Class photograph time now. We all graduated, by the way, with distinction…

Thanks to John, Frankie, Claire, Kay and Dave.


Maybe Danny can translate…
Boing, said Zebedee.
Je me demande comment il se débrouille en grec ancien pour qu’il soit capable de parler avec Johnson dans sa langue maternelle.
Richard Leonard

Scottish Labour happy to rule out a sensational deal with Douglas Ross. Or any kind of deal, for that matter.

OH, WELL! That one didn’t last very long!


Astounding': MSP backs Shetland autonomy while defending Tory power grab |  The National
Jamie Halcro Johnston has been appointed to the Tory front bench team to replace Oliver Mundell.
Popular choice, given this is how well he did in a First Past the Post contest in 2017 for the English parliament.


It appears that the London government is setting in motion (if you’ll pardon the phrase) the purchase of a raft of portaloos to deal with the problems of lorry drivers stuck in Kent with, erm, nowhere to go. Presumably Sniffer Gove or Matt Handy will have a suitable mate for the lucrative contract, although heaven knows what they will get.


Sniffy, or ‘the Govester’, as Mr Johnson would likely call him… has decided to blame the Brexit situation on the SNP, which is interesting considering that the SNP has been expressly excluded from any discussions with the EU.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is PlOuTd1X

It doesn’t seem to occur to him that, had the first Brexit Secretary been just a little better prepared for the job, the negative dynamic might have been avoided.

Here's why this photo of David Davis at Brexit negotiations has got people  talking - The Irish News

Oh, and, maybe if these morons have behaved like 7-year-olds at the end of term, the feelings towards England would have been warmer.

Still and all, we have our “iconic” blue passport made by a French Dutch company in Poland, don’t we?
But what is this I see? Do foreigners not know the difference between black and blue? Are they colour blind? And what’s all that foreign writing on the cover?



Thanks to Andi, Erik, Brendon, John, Brenda and Anon.


There was a documentary about Kenneth Williams on Channel Five tonight. Not having a telly, I only read about it on Twitter.

I thought that he was immensely talented, probably more than most of the other ‘Carry On’ “stars”.

I saw these on Twitter:

Andy Price@imandyprice·I can’t stand innuendo. If I see one in a script I whip it out immediately.’ – Kenneth Williams


BBC - Earth - Apes reveal secrets to good sleep
1. Do you mind? I’m not up yet. Come back later… or if you’re sticking around, at least shhhh, and let an Orangutan get her beauty sleep.
2. Gjirokaster, Albania. I remember going into a bookshop there and all they had were the works of Enver Hoxha in a variety of languages (why, I’m not sure as the country was closed to foreigners). None were in English! They really didn’t like America and many hadn’t even heard of England or Scotland.
3. Cruachan Corrie, Scotland.
4. Felix, who seems to have taken over the local hostelry in Srem. Mine Host?
5. What idiot left this stone here?
6. OK, who among you has tusks like this, eh… eh? Thought not!
7. Chloe wrapped up against the cold of a Bulgarian winter.
8. Now I’d like to play you Mozart’s Flûte Enchantée. Quiet in the cheap seats, if you please.
9. Khartoum, Sudan.
10. Who, me?
11. Hi Munguin, any chance of a job in your gardens… Look at the flowers I grow.
12. You’re the strangest looking dog I ever saw, but we could be pals, eh?
13. Tom and Jerry, who seem to be unaware that one of them is supposed to be a mouse. That said, Munguin has two mouses who are called Tom and Jerry, so I suppose that’s OK.
This is Nuuk, Greenland during the summer. | Greenland travel, Nuuk  greenland, Nuuk
14. Munguin has decided to buy a small place in Greenland. He thought this loch looked nice.
15. I wonder if I get half fare, seeing how small I am…
16. Boris Johnson and the Pritster coming to Scotland… You’re having a laugh…
17. Cuteness overload? Yeah, that what everyone says.
18. Cambridge.
GIANT ANACONDA!...Meet Anaconda Named Medusa - YouTube
19. Me and my pet human. She only little and quite house trained, but she likes a cuddle.
20. Well, that’s it for another week. If you’re not too busy, pop in same time, same place, but don’t wake animals up too early. We get cross.

Thanks to John, Claire, Kay and Dave.