Month: August 2020

DROSS FROM D ROSS

Tory MSP blows off key parliament vote to take part in World Cup referee training - Daily Record

The branch supervisor of the Scottish Tories tweeted the other day.

Normally, when he does that, it’s all about the general incompetence of the SNP and Nicola Sturgeon by comparison to the brilliance of the Tories and Dominic Cummings, erm, I mean whatsisname, the blond one that looks like Donald Trump… sans tan.

Douglas Ross MP@Douglas4Moray I would have no hesitation in voting against any legislation which would allow chlorinated chicken or hormone-injected beef into this country. That’s a categorical assurance.

This time, though, it seems that he wanted to give assurance (presumably mainly to the farmers in his area), that he would not, on any account, vote for an amendment to a Bill that allowed for any diminution of standards in farming.

After all, most farmers do care about standards and good animal husbandry.

There seems little doubt that allowing standards of imports to drop would put small family farmers in tight spot. Clearly imports, produced to a lower standard, would be cheaper, and factory farms, owned by big business, wouldn’t hesitate to drop prices and standards in line with imported goods. A small farm wouldn’t be able to compete, but wouldn’t necessarily be prepared to inject their cows with hormones.

So, this tweet was a comforting intervention on Dross’s part.

Or, rather, you would have thought so had it not been that it looks like he already voted for just that.

There you go! And, although it’s shown in Hansard to be the record of his vote, he says is a lie, a mistake and and evil plot by the wicked “SNP CyberNats”.

Well, it would be, wouldn’t it?

Incidentally, the wee Tory block, we might call them “the gang of six”, also all also voted against the NHS remaining under control of the governments in the UK.

So, your NHS is plain out of luck too.

I don’t recall the rallying cry for Brexit being…”take back control and give it away again sharpish”. Do you?

While we are on the subject, just a quick look at the “gypsy”- hating MP’s record on voting on other matters:

Dross has a majority of 513 in a total vote of 48,835 (68.7%). I think it may well have been a good career move for him to bag a list seat for Edinburgh’s parliament in line with Mr Cummings’ dictat, even if we were all looking forward to Annie being in charge.

JUST FOR A LAUGH

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17. Oh well, if you insist. Bang!

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And now for something a bit different.

Munguin and Andi have been having secret meetings over the last few weeks. Needless to say a lowly employee like me was not privy to these executive discussions (although I heard the odd word as I delivered cocktails, canapés, etc.) It was all above my exceedingly meagre pay grade.

However, Munguin is now pleased to reveal that he is minded to offer a coat of arms to some readers and has employed our most renowned genealogist to design them, with no expense (I know you were expecting “spared” to be the next word, but, well “no expense” is more accurate.

Three Munguinites are to be so honoured today, with (if you behave yourselves) possibly more to come.

Seriously, grateful thanks to AndiMac, who not only draws us cartoons and writes us poetry, but also designs coats of arms.

So with only a brief flourish …

Thank you… that’s quite enough of that…
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Besides Andi, grateful thanks to John, Erik and Brenda.

SOPPY SUNDAY

1. Come back. Munguin needs you in the pic too.
2. As promised, a Scarab Beetle
3. Bryce Canyon, Utah.
4. Excuse me, but are these the First-Class Accommodations? I’m known to Munguin!
5. El Tajo Dam, Spain.
6. This is very tasty. Whats for pudding?
7. Summer in Greenland. You can tell I’m rather fond of the place, can’t you?
8. I want you to know that I’m not just any flycatcher… I’m a royal fly catcher, so I’ll thank you to mind your Ps and Qs.
9. There there, who’s a pretty human then?
10. That coffee don’t look half strong enough to wake me up.
11. Try not to look down your nose at them, Cedric. They can’t help only being humans.
12. I’m pretending to be Adam Ant in my armour. I don’t suppose Lulu will happen along and give me a quick chorus of Boom Bangabang? No? Oh good!
14. Oh, hello Munguinites. Off to collect nuts, can’t stop.
14. Munguin with his wee pal, Woolie, as in “that’s the wonder of”, rescued by Munguin on the last day trading in Woolworths, Lochee.
15. Nice whiskers, huh?
16. You’d have thought that even the meanest intelligence would have told you that I have the right of way, because I’m bigger. Oh well. See ya round.
17. Gaborone, Botswana.
18. Shall I quack you a lullaby?
19. Our kind of street market.
20. You have to go? That’s a pity. A banana would have been nice…
21. Oh, how kind!

Special thanks to Munguin and Woolie for giving up their precious time to pose for that photograph.

ALL OUR YESTERDAYS

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18 and 19. (I know. Don’t blame Tris. WordPress refused to allow him to put a number on the pic No 18. By Order. Signed Munguin.)
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What a nightmare. They seem to have changed the method for uploading AGAIN! Still we got there, despite them.

Thanks to Andi and Dave.

COULD SOMEONE PLEASE LOCK HIM UP SOMEWHERE BEFORE HE DOES ANY MORE DAMAGE?

I can just imagine every child going out in the morning with their mum or dad’s words: “Be careful; keep your distance; have your mask with you at all times; don’t let anyone else touch it, and make sure you use the hand sanitiser I got you” ringing in their ears.

Then they get to school to be told by this buffoon that there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

I’m reminded that the self same moron bragging about shaking hands with virus victims in a hospital a couple of weeks or so before they carted him off to ICU with… Coronavirus.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Not exactly how it panned out, Mr Gove, is it. What happened? Did you drop all the cards or did they turn out to all be jokers?

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What’s wrong, bird? Did you see Boris Johnson’s tent in the distance?

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Without making any comment at all on what Airmiles has been up to, and remembering that, like other well known figures, such as Alex Salmond or the anonymous Tory MP, well-known people for whatever reason they are well known, have the right to a fair trial (although it would help if they cooperated with the police or FBI in order to reach that goal) and an assumption of innocence until proven otherwise. However, a protest for whatever reason, no matter how justified or otherwise, outside the head office of the royal family in their capital, is news. So why was the mainstream media so unwilling to cover it?

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Now that, if accurate, IS holding all the cards. It’s an ill wind, eh?

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Well PP and BlP, what have you got to say to that?

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Don’t forget he appointed himself Minister for the Nations, so he’s in charge of keeping the UK together. So we can start preparing to celebrate Independence

JUST FOR A LAUGH

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BONUS:

Only for the pros

A CHALKED notice at The Pub With No Name in Florida Road.

“WARNING: Bars need your help. We can open at only one third of our capacity. Those who cannot drink for THREE are kindly asked to leave their place for the PROFESSIONALS.”  

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Lite advice

ANOTHER chalked notice, post-lockdown:

“Ladies:, don’t let a man who drinks ‘lite’ beer abuse you.

“Talk to him, girl to girl.”

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Hmmm… Chris Grayling in charge of transport and roads in England again?

Thanks to Brenda, Andi, John, Erik and Brendan…

SOPPY SUNDAY

1. Morning. I think Munguin fitted up a spy camera to make sure we aren’t naughty. I’m gonna stick my tongue out at him!
2. In a Bulgarian country garden.
3. Munguin was feeding some Coots the other day. It’s part of his great charity work.
4. Get digging, Tris. There’s worms in that earth which would do better in my tummy.
5. That’s the nicest thing any bird has ever said to me…
6. Awww, it just has to be love.
7. Munguin’s new Fern and Grass garden.
8. I can think of worse places for a seat.
9. What an odd dog.
10. Killin.
11. Did you bring dinner?
12. You want a photograph? Oh, you just took one?
13.what’s that, Mum?
14. Just as well this job pays good money, getting your photo taken with idiot tourists all day! And he thinks this is how llamas smile!!! Duh!
15. Me and my dog.
16. Lake Louise.
17. The long and the short of it.
18. South Greenland.
19. I was thinking of having a go at someone… getit? go-at… Oh never mind.
20. We’re off to play hide and seek in this tyre. See you and Munguin next week… OK?

Thanks to John and the RS for the Bulgarian garden photo.