Bloody Hell: It just gets dafter

During the committee’s questions, he was asked about targets and replied: “I’m not giving you a deadline right now. I have been forbidden from announcing any more targets.
You have to wonder, by whom was he forbidden, given that he is the actual, erm, prime, uh, minister? He really only has one boss. 
Queen has been styling her own hair at Windsor Castle, source says ...
No, silly, not her…. 
Boris Johnson's defence of Dominic Cummings provokes furious ...
Yep, that’s da man!
Oh, yeah, then there’s Gove being left looking even more stupid than he usually is:
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Today’s laughs:

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lets hide
And for something utterly different…
john1
Thanks to John and Brendan.

SORRY, NO ONE IS AVAILABLE FOR INTERVIEW

WE ARE ALL DEFUSING MINES IN AFGHANISTAN WITH THE ARISTOCRATIC BARONESS LADYSHIP COLONEL

Image result for AFGHANISTAN RUTH DAVIDSON

To be fair to the Tories, Jackson Carlaw said that the SNP proposals for a separate system did have merit, and they were looking at them closely.

So why not take part in an interview?

Maybe because they have been told by Mr Cummings’ underlings to keep quiet?

ANYONE HEARD WHEN THE TORIES ARE GOING TO GET THEMSELVES A PROPER SCOTTISH BRANCH OFFICE MANAGER?

Mr Carlaw’s constituents voted to remain in the EU.

And he rose in the chamber to praise them for doing that just days after the vote, in which most Tory MSPs and their one MP in Scotland voted to remain. (You’ll remember the Colonel and Fluffy telling us how utterly vital it was for Scotland’s economy, to Remain.)

However, yesterday Jackson decided that, were there to be another referendum, he would vote to leave and sod his constituents.

This is, he says, because the EU has changed since 2016 (and clearly nothing to do with the fact that Boris has told him to change his mind).

Brussels is, he insists, going to have its own army by 2025.

And there are other changes too, he told the BBC, but he appears not to have bothered to elaborate.

So dealing with the one point he did specify, the army… as far as I can discover, there is no reason to believe that there is actually going to be an EU army, although, it is hoped to establish closer military ties between countries in Europe.

This makes sense. Indeed, the majority of Europeans want this to happen, including 56% of Britons! Perhaps the less-than-reliable cross between a Carrot and a Mango, which currently resides in the White House, has finally persuaded European leaders that it is time this continent stood on its own two feet militarily, instead of relying on the USA.

And quite right too. There is no reason why Europe cannot continue to work co-operatively with the USA, without being dependent upon them.

Alone, of course, all European countries are too small to support defence forces of any real power. Even Britain with its massive military spend (punching above its weight) is a minnow by comparison with real world powers like Russia or China.

In my opinion, it makes sense to have a military alliance within the continent.

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Britain, were it to vote to remain in the EU, however, could not be forced to join this military alliance.

So Mr Carlaw’s thinking doesn’t seem to stand up. Unless there is some reason in his “unspecified changes”, that has made the EU a less desirable ally, I’m suspecting that the possibility of a knighthood or maybe elevation to the aristocracy may have more to do with his change of heart than any military alliance his beloved union couldn’t be forced to join, and indeed, over which it would almost certainly have a veto.

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Unassociated with this matter, I noticed that the BBC article points out that the Tories, along with Labour, SNP and Brexit party have been forced to suspend candidates who have made unfortunate tweets or comments some time in their past.

Image result for boris johnson

When asked about comments made about Muslim women looking like letter boxes, bum boys, and the working classes, by another Tory candidate, Jackson said that he preferred to judge Mr Johnson (for it was none other than he) on his actions as prime minister rather than on things said in the past… which seems a little unfair to the other candidates who can’t offer any baubles.

Maybe one of these days a Tory will tell the truth about something.

OK, OK, I was joking. They won’t.

Oops, there’s been another Murdo!

 

Image result for Murdo Fraser

The inimitable Murdo Fraser, the scourge of, well, nothing much really… has commented on the decision of the Green Party to withdraw their candidates from the North East Fife and Perth and North Perthshire elections, in order, presumably, to give Steven Gethings (majority 2) and Pete Wishart (majority 21) a better chance of winning.

It was a very generous gesture, but also a sensible one.

There was no realistic chance of the Green candidates winning and a vote which was split along independence/dependence lines could well have let in a unionist.

Murdo wrote:

@murdo_fraser
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Just in case there was any lingering doubt that the ‘Greens’ are now a wholly-owned subsidiary of the SNP… twitter.com/torcuil/status…
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Unfortunately, his equally-dismal colleague, Annie Wells, had, over the last few days, spearheaded a campaign for Labour in Scotland to join with the Tories where appropriate to keep the SNP out.
“Kettle”,  “pot” and “black arse” are words that come readily to mind.
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Worse still for poor old Murdo, it appears that Nigel Farage (possibly soon Sir Nigel or Lord Farage, if he is to be believed) has stood down his candidates in any seat where there is an incumbent Tory leaver (over 300), thus vastly improving Conservative chances in the election.
Poor old Murdo now has to work out whether the Tories are a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Nigel Farage Party, or the other way round.
That should keep him out of mischief for the rest of the campaign.
I loved this tweet from Crow Esquire:
@CrowSaorAlba1
Replying to

In comedy timing is everything. Look how this clown tweets this on the same day that the Tories became a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Brexit Party.
Murdo for stand-up champion of the year.
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IT JUST GETS WORSE

So, first, the Tories are circulating a document instructing their MPs etc, to blame Europe for everything (surprise!). This is before Europe has had a chance to look at the “plan”.

Then we discover that the plan pivots upon being approved by an assembly which has not sat for 3 years, during which time the gap between the two sides has grown wider.

But still, Brussels isn’t giving up.

Even if I have.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Nearly everyone is tweeting or writing about the plan Johnson has proposed to the EU. Anything much written on here would be superfluous. Suffice to say that it probably will be rejected by the EU. Ireland has already said “tai”, no, in Irish, and I’ve just seen Guy Verhoffstadt’s rejection. Pfff.

Image result for ian dunt politics now
Ian Dunt.

This is far more informed and more eloquent than I could ever have managed.

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A lorry knocked the unicorn off the royal crest thingy on the gates of Buck House. La fin du régime approche?

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Just in case for some strange reason, you thought they gave a damn, Dominic Cummings, the prime minister’s right-hand man tells it as it is!

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They do, however, give a considerable damn what they get to quaff. Deliveries must keep a constant supply of bubbles (did anyone mention that  la région de Champagne est située dans l’UE et … donc… étrangère !!!!!!). Next year it will have to be home-made Rose Hip Wine!

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Love his expressions…

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Saturday is the big day for the Edinburgh march. Hopefully, the weather will be good. Last year it was fabulous. Needless to say no matter how many people turn up the BBC will pretty much ignore it in favour of Mrs McGinty’s cat getting stuck up a tree in Ecclefechan.

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I really wish I could be there, but less than 2 weeks after my operation, I’m advised against going. I wish all of you who will be there, the very best. There will be some great people to march with and meet, and some fantastic speakers.

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“Pidä likaiset käteni itsellesi, sinä kamala vanha oranssi juttu”, which is Finnish and translates roughly as “keep your dirty hands to yourself” … and something about orange things.

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Image result for did jo swinson vote for English votes for English laws

From day one I thought that the LibDems electing Swinson as leader at this crucial time was a monumental error.

Quite apart from the fact that she represents a Scottish seat and is, therefore, barred from voting on something like 60% of legislation passing through the commons, thanks to EVEL, I reckon that she lacks any kind of charisma, and her voting record shows that she is anything but Liberal (having voted for Tory policies more than many Tory MPs) and her policy of simply scrapping Brexit without any kind of vote suggests that the “Democrat” part of her job title is a bit dubious too.

However, she seems to think that she can be the next prime minister and to that end has asked for her supporters to pledge £100 a month to her cause.

One hundred pounds a month from ordinary working people? What planet does she live on?

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

A bit of a mix here today. The cartoons weren’t that great this week and didn’t warrant a whole page (but thanks to BJSAlba for sending anyway), so I threw in some pics of the march and some figures from Marky about the English election results.

IndyScotNews.com
@IndyScot_News

20:45 FINAL ENGLISH COUNCIL ELECTION RESULTS:
CON 3562 (-1332)
LAB 2021 (-81)
LD 1344 (+700)
GRN 265 (+194)
UKIP 31 (-145)
IND 1044 (+606)
OTH 134 (+56)
NET COUNCIL CHANGES: CON -44 LAB -6 LD +10 RA +1 IND +2 NOC +37 #LocalElections2019 #LE2019
Somewhat unbelievably, Mrs May has concluded from these results, a massive shift from Brexit Supporting parties to those opposing it, that the great British public wants her to get on with Brexit. If this were anyone else, you might wonder at her sanity, but in the case of May who has called everything wrong from Day 1, we all know that she is batshit and frankly, why would we expect anything different…?
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!£glasgow
Dave sent me this pic from the march, but I couldn’t upload it so I found it online. He writes: The picture was taken of the end of the march just after Charing Cross. About 16:00. So this shows around a third to a quarter of the route, just before it gets to George square. I think more than 90,000 people.

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maydis

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!£tc2

As noted earlier we all know that the prime minister is batshit… not so sure about Mundell, who has sworn that no one ever mentioned being thrown out of the EU if we voted for independence. Is he mad as a box of frogs (eh?) or is he just desperately hoping that the Maybot will reward his slavish loyalty with a K or an OBE or something?

!£tory conference
He certainly draws a massive crowd, eh?

!£tc

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LETTER FROM MUNGUIN

Image result for david mundell picking food out of his beard

David Mundell

Verified account

@DavidMundellDCT
Follow Follow @DavidMundellDCT

.@theSNP and Labour MPs gloat as the PM’s Deal voted down. And what are their solutions? A General Election, an independence referendum . Yet again politicking and self interest over the National interest

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Dear Mr Mundell,

Scotland voted 62-38  to remain in the EU.

And that was the view before your idiot government and prime minister got its incompetent, unprincipled hands on the negotiations.

Every Westminster constituency in Scotland, including your own; every council area too, voted to remain.

The SNP IS voting in the national interest.

May I take this opportunity to remind you too, that there were also many Tories (your party, you may recall) who voted against the prime minister’s deal. I don’t need to reiterate any of the comments they made about slave states. I’m sure that their vitriolic comments are imprinted on your brain. So why just have a go at the SNP?

Indeed, two Tory Brexit Secretaries and a foreign secretary, not to mention countless junior ministers and PPSs resigned over the hopelessness of your prime minister’s deal.

If you wanted to know the solutions put forward by the SNP, then the paper produced by the Scottish government would have been a good place to start. You are supposed to have read it, although I doubt you have.

Secondly, had you been paying attention, the other day Joanna Cherry put forward a proposal. 

Have you any solution?

This whole ridiculous Brexit situation came about because your last leader decided to try to outwit Tory MPs who were plotting to defect to UKIP. He was so sure that he would be in a coalition with the Liberal Democrats (who would veto his Referendum plans) that he took a risk on everyone’s future to save his party’s bacon.

Then, as we all know, it went horribly wrong, at which point he disappeared into a millionaire’s shed to write his memoirs, make more money and leave everyone else to clean up his mess.

How typically upper-class Eton Boy.

Finally, I’d remind you that you told us during the Scottish referendum campaign, that it would be disastrous for Scotland to be outside the EU, and you did so again during the EU referendum campaign.  I don’t know how genuine that was, but it remained your opinion until England voted to leave. Proud Scot, huh?

Presumably this change of heart enabled you to retain your seat at the cabinet table, especially after the disastrous 2017 elections where there were other candidates for your post.

Your constituency voted against Brexit; your country voted against Brexit, and you voted to keep your scrawny arse on the front bench, where frankly you never deserved to be.

And you try to make political capital out of the SNP voting the way Scotland voted.

I’m ashamed that you represent my country in Westminster… You make me sick.

 

Yours sincerely

 

Munguin

PS: Incidentally, f you want to hear more people jeering at your government then I suggest you go… well, just about anywhere and open your ears.

For a proud Brit Nationalist, you appear to have no earthly idea what a fool your people have made of the UK.

 

WHAT MORE IS THERE TO SAY?

TELT?

Tories with a truck claiming the SNP want you to pay a car park tax

Well, and maybe you could say, opportunists, chancers, amateurs, third raters?

And while we are on the subject of the third rate opposition in Edinburgh…

Telt, again?

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Bonus Pic:

RANDOM THOUGHTS

This is a sharp reminder that intelligent people do change their minds when incontrovertible facts are presented to them. We need to present these facts as clearly as we can and then be ready to welcome, with open arms, the people that they convert.

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As predicted by some, this morning three Tories crossed the floor of the House of Commons and joined the Labour MPs who, over the last couple of days, have left the Labour Party.

This raises some questions.

Is it a flash in the pan or is it the beginnings of a reshaping of British, or rather, English politics. (There are no Scottish MPs involved and politics in England and Scotland are very different, the one from the other.)

If the independent group grows, as some predict it will, and its numbers overtake the number of SNP members, will it become the third largest group in the Commons, and entitled, in place of the SNP, to a front bench place and automatic questions at PMQs?

And should that happen (which it may well not) what should the SNP’s response be?

And, do Munguinites think that it should be compulsory for members who were elected under the banner of a party and that party’s manifesto, to stand down if they leave that party regardless of which parliament and which party?

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dickhead2

Thank goodness they voted Tory.  Because, if this is strong and stable, I don’t think I could have withstood weak, wobbly and chaotic. (Note to self, look up the definition of chaotic.)

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Image result for Billy the Bigot

Billy the Bigot is in a bit of a snit at the BBC, until recently, seemingly his close and trusted friends.

It seems that the story he gave about being invited on to the BBC’s Question Time shows has been denied most fulsomely by that august British institution’s management. And our Billy Boy isn’t happy about being called out as a liar.

He’s has been going back through his diary and has tweeted: “I sat down and looked up all the Q.T shows I was on and got all the dates and people who were on panel and I’m so tempted to blow the lid on BBC again… 4 times NOT EVEN CLOSE, if BBC want to start I’m ready”.

Oh, the joys to be beheld when besties fall out.

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