RANDOM THOUGHTS

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We have heard from the Tories and their wee Torylite lapdog on the right, that the Scottish government should have been doing far more testing in Care Homes, although oddly, the Tories in England didn’t.

Interestingly, I read tonight that ol’ Carlaw got £35,000 for his leadership campaign and Union Jacket on the right here managed to snag £40,000 for his 2019 election campaign… from Care Home owners.

Bless… you scratch our backs and we’ll run down the Scottish government for you.

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I’ve also been reading that Tea Boy Johnson, Mr Cummings’ PA, has decided to go on a charm offensive (I’d have thought “offensive” alone would have done) around Europe, to try to persuade Europeans to come back to England. Seriously, he has.

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Given that Britain is now the “plague nation” of Europe, I’m not entirely sure that they will let him in, but if they do, there are apparently over 20 official languages in the EU. So I guess he’s going to learn a stack of new ways of saying “foutre le camp”, “Разкарай се”, “orlähteä tiehensä”. I wonder if it’s the same in modern Greek as in ancient…

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Face masks now compulsory in France, but burqas, niqabs, still ...
Facemasks are now compulsory in France.

The advice of the Scottish government is if you are travelling on public transport or using a supermarket or shop you should wear a mask.

They are also saying that if people don’t pick this up voluntarily, they will look at bringing in legislation to make it compulsory.

Although it started off being Tory unionists that were whinging about it here (who does Nicola Sturgeon think she is? etc), it seems that the English government is bringing in legislation now and from June 15 it will be illegal in England to used public transport without a mask.

BORING LITTLE MAN TWEETS THE SAME NONSENSE AD NAUSEAM – MUNGUIN'S ...

Red face again, eh Jackson?

We need to respect people who work in supermarkets. If you are a shopper, your chance of catching the virus is tiny, particularly if you are only in the shop for as short a time as possible…in the region of 0.02% on average. However, working there on an 8-hour shift, face to face with customers, your chance is far higher. Maybe as high as 8 or 9%.

On public transport, it’s impossible to socially distance. But wearing a mask, though far from foolproof at least reduces the likelihood of infection.

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New royal yacht? A second idea enters the fray - Classic Boat Magazine

Rigsby Jones has decided that what we need to cheer us all up is a new royal yacht.

You can always depend on a member of the house of lords to have his finger on the pulse of what people want.

Why, as I lay in bed this morning, I said to myself: “Self”, I said, “what would make you feel better about all this Covid, Brexit, lockdown, no-deal, stuck here inside crap? Hmmmm?”

Boris Johnson's critics attacked by Lord Digby Jones in furious ...

And what do you think was my answer to myself?

Yep. You’re absolutely right. I said, “we need a new royal yacht to lift the Scottish people’s spirits.”

And then, lo and behold, as if from out of nowhere, the Noble Baron put it into the kind of words that I could never have found, just being a humble commoner.

The Trouble with Andrew | Vanity Fair | August 2011

So there you go. You don’t need any more jokes pages or soppiness on Sundays… You have the prospect of spending £100 million on a yacht so that Air Miles can skip the country when Liz Truss sells him out to the FBI for a photo opportunity with the orange fascist.

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English Statistics by Dummies, erm I mean FOR Dummies.

POOR OLD MUDDLED JACKASS

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A couple of days ago, Nicola Sturgeon suggested that, when out, in crowded places, where it was difficult to socially distance (on the bus, in a supermarket for example) the people might like to consider wearing a face mask. Not a medical quality face mask, you understand, but one which would stop you spitting tiny droplets of saliva as you speak, especially when pronouncing “p” “t” and “b”. Not particularly for your protection but for the protection of others around you.

Well, you’d have thought that the end of the world was nigh. People on Twitter going wild saying that “Sturgeon”  wasn’t telling THEM what to do. They were British. So there! Others suggested that they would only wear a facemask if it had a union flag on it. (Well, that would keep people away, let’s be fair.)

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We need to remember that at no point did Nicola mandate this.

Jackson Carlaw asked what evidence she was using to suggest such a thing would be advantageous, and tweeted that there was no border and we were all one country (yeah I know, but maybe he doesn’t).

Wee Fluffy got himself in a terrible state. Matt Hancock, presumably Fluffy’s idol, has said that he doubted that they do any good and Fluffs was all of a dither about people being confused if England didn’t advise face masks and Scotland did. I’m confused,  he apparently tweeted. Not that that came as any surprise to any of us.

Opinion: David Mundell MP | Peeblesshire News
“Get my bags, Muddy”

I mean how would people know what do do when they got to the border. Good question.

OK, apart from the fact that most people shouldn’t actually be crossing the border right now, Fluffy may, or may not, be aware that there are many things which are different on one side than on the other. And somehow people do know.

For example, to the north of the border, there are no prescription charges, to the south each item costs £9.15, although there are exceptions to this involving age, medical conditions, pregnancy, and certain kinds of, but not all kinds of, benefits. Now that is confusing.

Primary education ends after 7 years in Scotland and after 6 in England, university courses are of different duration, drink driving laws are different, and so on and so forth.

In fact, this has gone on for a great deal longer than the period in which there has been a Scottish parliament. Indeed Gretna, just over the border in Scotland, has become world-famous and made much money, based on the fact that for many years in Scotland you could marry at 16 without parental permission, whist in England, you had to be 18 to do that. 16-year-olds had to have mummy and daddy’s OK.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of things that are different here, given that Scots Law is entirely different from English Law. You’d have thought that an ex-Secretary of State for Scotland, who happens to be a lawyer, might have grasped that. But then, as I’ve said elsewhere, they didn’t call him “Fluffy Muddle” for nothing.

Anyway, you’re letting me haver on without getting to the point and Munguin is looking cross.

And the point is this. Boris Johnson has just said that it would be sensible for people to wear masks when coming out of lockdown, contradicting what Old HandThingy said the other day… and the good thing is that Mundell won’t be muddled about it any more… or will he?

[You could have said that considerably more succinctly. Get yourself on a writing course. Kind regards, Munguin.]

This just seen:

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How embarrassing!

GOOD NEWS FOR TORIES AND SNP

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*Opinium Westminster Voting Intention: 21-23/04/2020

CON: 50% (+5)

LAB: 33% (-)

LDem: 7% (-5)

SNP: 5% (+1)

Grn: 3% (-)

PC: 0% (-)

Flavible Projection

CON: 384 (+19)

LAB: 185 (-18)

SNP: 55 (+7)

PC: 4 (-)

LDem: 3 (-8)

GRN: 1 (-)

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So, it would seem that Sir Keir Starmer hasn’t made any impact on the Tory lead in England.

Tories in Scotland are down to 3 seats.

Labour holds its usual one in a Tory heartland.

Liberals appear to have lost all their seats, even the Northern Isles, which I find incredible.  Bring back Jo Swinson, I say!!!

And the SNP has gained 7 seats, bringing them back to 55.

Also asked in the poll:

“Which, if any, of the following people do you think would be the best prime minister?”

The answers were…

Boris Johnson (Con): 44%

Keir Starmer (Lab): 23%

None of these: 17%

Don’t know: 16%

So it seems that election of centre-right Sir Keir Starmer hasn’t done Labour a power of good, although to be fair it is early days. But the calm and measured Starmer at around half the support of the de Pfeffel buffoon, in a crisis? What is wrong with these people?

On whether people are doing a good job the results were: 

Boris Johnson: + 19

Sir Keir Starmer: + 13

Nicola Sturgeon: + 3 ( Possibly because it was a UK poll.)

Ed Davey: – 8 (Possibly because no one has heard of him or knows what he is doing.)

Johnson has done a good job? Is that the sympathy vote? Because as the “Just for a Laugh” cartoon say yesterday…

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In the meantime, Jackson Carlaw has told us there is no border between Scotland and England. He tweets:

“It is ridiculous to suggest Nicola Sturgeon could close the border. There is no border – we are one United Kingdom.”

OK, this probably isn’t the time to get into how being “one united kingdom” isn’t working out too well for us. That’s not the point. But it is possible to close “internal borders”, which, like it or not, Mr Carlaw, DO exist. Australia and Malaysia are, each of them “one united country” but Quokka was saying recently that the borders between states in Australia are monitored and Abu told me the same thing about Malaysia. (They may now be completely closed by now as both countries are taking stronger action against the virus.)

In the UK, however, people can freely move between the countries because there is no border security because some people, like Carlaw, are desperate to not give the impression that we are anything other than one united kingdom.

The map above (albeit based only on an opinion poll) suggests that the “united” part of united kingdom is risible.

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*Access to full tables through that site.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I’ve never been a fan of Piers Morgan.

However, on the matter of the Virus crisis, where many other interviewers have sucked up to ministers, failing to pick them up on their inability to answer the simplest of questions with any more than a series of stuttering, stammering platitudes, he seems to have stood out as a shining example of the “hard talk” interviewer. He won’t take crap for an answer.

I take my hat off to him for that…

 

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For those who may have missed it, way down in the comments in the last article, Panda Paws sources a government paper which confirms what we were told yesterday. She links it there but for some reason, I can’t get the link to work in the body of the text.

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A nice tribute to our First Minister from Brian May.

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Stay safe, everyone… And that’s an order from Munguin.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I understand that “The Sun” is reporting that Boris Johnson called Nicola Sturgeon “that bloody Wee Jimmie Crackie woman”. (No link to the article because I won’t be a party to their clickbait.) Of course, you can’t entirely believe anything you read in the Sun, but it sounds like his unprofessional style. The kind of thing you’d expect from a 12-year-old.

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This you can believe.

Derek Mackay has resigned as Cabinet Secretary for Finance.

It appears he had been texting a 16-year-old lad and offering him dinner over a six-month period.

As the lad was 16, Derek was doing nothing illegal. In Scotland, you can leave school, get married, have children and vote at 16.

But for heaven’s sake, what a bloody stupid thing to do.

We all know that the Press is against us and that they put a huge effort into finding anything unpleasant they can headline on their front pages.

The Sun has it splashed over 9 pages on this, so presumably, they have been working on it for a while. It will take a bit of living down!

What on earth possessed such an intelligent and otherwise competent man to indulge himself like this?

As Ruth Wishart put it: “Another self-immolation by a politician with no shortage of talent but an all too slender grasp of judgement”.

He’s let us down badly.

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It is said that Ruth Davidson is to be offered a seat in the House of Lords.

The Edinburgh Central MSP has been selected alongside former Chancellors Ken Clarke and Philip Hammond    picture: GettyImages

So just a day after wee Carlot Jackson was hobnobbing with the Duke of Rothsay at Buck House, to collect his CBE, his predecessor is preparing to join Baroness Moan of Mayflower in teh Isle of Man on the red benches, collecting £300 a day and stack of “get out of jail free” cards.

Democracy, huh?

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I read that Wee Sniffy Gove may be appointed to lead the arrangements for the Climate Change summit in Glasgow.  The vacancy came about when Johnson sacked the previous incumbent, former environment minister, Claire O’Neill, without notice, for complaining that he had failed to carry out any of his promises in regard to the conference.

We all know that in most things Johnson does, promises are piecrusts and details are doughnuts. He says stuff. He walks away. He forgets everything.

Ms O’Neill has, subsequently, spent days speaking to the Press about how incompetent Johnson is,  how little he understands the subject and bemoaning the lack of progress that has been made in organising this massive international event.

David Cameron has apparently refused to take on the job, as has William Hague, both citing other commitments, possibly money-making ones (or more likely a desperate desire not to be stuck in Scotland for most of the year).

Grouse Beater on Twitter wrote, “Michael Gove is tipped to be appointed the new president of the UN climate summit to be held in Glasgow because, being a Scot, he is *well-liked* north of Gretna Green.”

Ye, I thought you’d like that!.

If possible, an even less likeable candidate, Michael “Something of the Night” Howard has also been proposed. Why not go the whole hog and invite Ann Widdicombe, his bête noire?  If it all goes horribly wrong she can always give us a tango or quick step! After that, even a catastrophic conference would fade into the mists of insignificance.

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With eight months to go, it seems like a huge task for whoever will take it on, particularly as they will be organising it in Scotland and, whether they like it or not, they need to liaise with Edinburgh about arrangements.

Given the current state of relations between London and Edinburgh, and in particular, between Johnson and Nicola, this is proving to be difficult.

You’ll remember that Johnson said that he didn’t mind if there were one of two Saltires at the conference but he wanted the place to be a sea of union flags and that he didn’t want to see Nicola Sturgeon there.

Bless him. How little he understands…  anything!

Nicola responded that she had been at the last three climate summits by invitation of the UN and that she WOULD be at this one. Of course, she can’t control the flags… but we can, and I have no doubt that Glasgow will be a sea of blue and white and that Back-Door Johnson will get the welcome he has come to expect when he appears in public in Scotland, which may cause him a little embarrassment with the world’s press in attendance.

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STRUTH RUTH…

True, true, Ruth.

You got out in the nick of time with some lame excuse about being too busy looking after your bairn to be doing all these surgeries and constituency work (although you do have time for making radio programmes and you wouldn’t have had time to be a PR consultant, if only you hadn’t been such bad news for the consultancy that was going to employ you).

So, no. You didn’t lose a third of your seats. or, indeed, any seats. You are but a humble constituency MSP.

But Jack the Car (you know, the one you said, only the other day, was doing such a cracking job), managed to lose a bit over half your seats…53.8% actually. So he did better at losing than Nicola, by some way.

Nicola, on the other hand, increased her seats from 35 to 46 (an increase of 31%) or 47 if you include the suspended-SNP MP who was on the ballot paper as SNP (an increase of 34%).

Nicola is now the one with 47 (or 48) out of 59 seats… and your lot are the ones with, erm… 6.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Jacinda is the Prime Minister of New Zealand.

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chukks

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There’s Andy being honourable again… Hating every minute but too noble to push her away.
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Ewww, yer all sweaty. No, wait a minute, you don’t sweat! Someone probably threw a drink over you, eh?

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She might have added “you pompous ass”!

 

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

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Chris Davies, you might remember, was recalled by his constituents in Brecon and Radnorshire after being convicted of fraud in relation to parliamentary expenses.

Clearly having more front than Rothsay, he stood in the by-election that followed… and lost.

It seems, though, that you can’t keep a bad man down, and on November 11 we discovered that he had been selected to stand for the Tories in the constituency of Ynys Môn (one of the seats where the Liberal Dems and Greens have stood down).

However, today we discovered that he has decided (or it has been decided for him) that he will, in fact, not be standing after all.

I’m not sure about this, but I can’t remember another election where so many people have been obliged to stand down from candidacy.

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It will come as no real surprise to anyone that Daily Telegraph columnist and ex-New Labour MP (and one-time candidate for the leadership of the Scottish branch office), Tom Harris, is voting Tory in this election. I’m not sure I’d thank him for advertising it if I were the Tories. He’s pretty well forgotten or disliked around these parts.

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The floods in Northern and Midland England are horrific. Initially, of course, the prime minister said that there was no emergency, presumably because neither Downing Street nor Chequer found itself under water.

However, in the last few days, it appears that someone in his entourage who has remembered that there is an election in the offing, has decided that it is, indeed, a national emergency deserving of a COBRA meeting.  Johnson was dispatched to do some campaigning in the areas concerned complete with wellies and a bucker and mop.

He’d have done better to stay in his palatial surroundings, dry and safe from getting any more rotten because the reception he got was far from what he would have liked. He’s really not very good with ordinary people.

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I read this morning that the SNP would consider court action if, after a successful election campaign and a majority of SNP MPs, they were still refused a Section 30 Order by Johnson.

As Doctor Paul Monaghan points out, being found against by the courts would be a huge risk for Johnson to take.

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Awwww…. lead us don’t leave us, eh?

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Never mind, think of all the teacakes they’ll be exporting.

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jokeref

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RUTH DAVIDSON, THE POUNDSHOP ANNABEL GOLDIE

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Today, at FMQs, Nicola Sturgeon pointed out to Jackson Carlaw, that the party couldn’t have much confidence in him if they were still using Ruth Davidson’s name in their election literature (which they are).

Davidson, probably without giving it any thought, tweeted:

Ruth Davidson
@RuthDavidsonMSP
· 6h
Nicola Sturgeon: the last person on earth who should be talking about political predecessors. 

I’m thinking that she must be referring to Alex Salmond, Nicola’s predecessor as First Minister.

OK, so he was a pretty good first minister, who ran an effective minority government for 4 years (without the aid of a taxpayer-funded bribe), and then managed to win a majority in a system designed specifically to prevent that outcome.

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(This is particularly interesting given that, in a system designed to provide one of the two main UK parties with large majorities on a small percentage of the vote, most of the governments in London over the past 10 years have been coalitions, dependent on bribed partners, or minority governments unable to get any work done and hence obliged to seek yet another General Election.)

As senior politicians go, Mr Salmond comes out quite well certainly by comparison with his English counterparts.

So what else could she be referring to?

Well, it seems to me that the PR company with which Davidson had a job (until she didn’t), had a narrow squeak. Because we can only assume that she is making reference to Mr Salmond’s upcoming trial. And if so, that is a humdinger of a mistake.

As Peat Worrier pointed out:

PeatWorrier
@PeatWorrier
Alex Salmond has been charged with two counts of attempted rape, nine sexual assaults, and two indecent assaults. The case remains active – and undecided. For anyone to treat it as some kind of comic political football really is beneath contempt.

Scottish Tories – named and anonymous – have been talking about this prosecution with an ugly relish for months now. It is, I think, a terrible look. This isn’t some kind of political game and serious people contemplating this serious process ought to understand that.

The way I understood Scots Law was that a person was considered to be innocent until shown to be otherwise.

A defendant goes into court an innocent man or woman, and it is the job of the prosecution to prove his/her guilt.

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Of course, Peat Worrier knows a good deal more than I do. Him being a lawyer. So, indeed, would have Annabel Goldie, also a lawyer. I just can’t see her making that kind of mistake.

So what on earth was Davidson doing talking about Alex as if she had some knowledge of the outcome?

We know she opened her silly mouth and let the cat out of the bag with postal votes at one time, an offence in itself.

Not only is she indiscrete, but she doesn’t learn a lesson.

It is probably sensible and for the best that she is leaving politics.