OH PULEEEEEAZE

This apparently really happened.

Someone came out of a cabinet meeting with

1/ No food.

2/ No Channel Tunnel.

written on a piece of paper conveniently sticking out of the top of a Cabinet folder, knowing that the Press was waiting outside.

So, the first one is for real… No really, it is.

The second one is a clever wee bit of photoshop by .

So, who is it that thinks we are daft enough to fall for this crap and email our MPs begging them to sign up to the bad deal? I mean, who really wants no food and no Channel Tunnel… and whatever else lurks beguilingly inside that posh red folder?

And whatever happened to the famous “no deal is better than a bad deal” slogan, which May croaked endlessly at us, in that strong and stable way she used to have , before she realised

Does anyone recognise the chubby hand and beer belly carrying the offending folder? Remember, it has to be someone stupid enough to think that we’d swallow this, so you actually can’t rule out any of the Cabinet.

This looks just a bit too obvious – the last desperate throw of the dice by a government that has lost the argument on Brexit. The sooner tomorrow’s vote is out the way, the better – then we can get on with finding a better way forward.

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And…

Anyone else get ‘political’ booklet from Wetherspoon today? WTAF? Why is this being sent through the door pretending to be an advert for beer? It’s political propaganda from a pro-BREXIT barman! Does the have a role in this? Sadly, can’t find return address!

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Again, why are they trying to persuade members of the public? Don’t they know that, unless we have another referendum, what we think doesn’t matter much?

PS: Update: I’m told that the chubby hand and beer belly you can see belong to Mel Stride Financial Secretary to The Treasury and Paymaster General. Nope, me neither.

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YOU DIDN’T MENTION THE PRESCRIPTION CHARGES…

Of course, there are many more advantages to living in Scotland than the ones listed above.

The health service is measurably better than in the UK on most counts; Council tax is lower in general; trains run more efficiently; there are more police per capita; the prison service hasn’t been privatised and ruined; likewise the probation service; water charges are lower because we don’t have to pay for fat cat salaries on top of paying to catch, store and distribute water… and deal with waste; government committed to reducing greenhouse gases more quickly than the English/UK government, so fresher air, and so on.

Additionally, some of the worst of the Tories’ evil social security excesses have been mitigated.

Of course, off the top of my head, I can’t think of all of the benefits… please feel free to add some if you can. A full list is a useful tool for discussion with doubters.

++++++++

PS Murdo is a right twerp, isn’t he?

WE PAY THIS MAN’S WAGES…

First of all, if your party votes for something, it’s very brave, some might say foolhardy, to suggest that it is a ‘yet another failed SNP government policy*’.

Your colleagues may not save you a place in the dining room!

Ok, firstly, you might want to suggest that, maybe, in the light of experience, it is a policy that, with hindsight, in view of events (alright, Sir Humphry, get to the point: Munguin) it might be worth looking at again.

Secondly, correct me if I’m wrong, but it is hard to see how anyone can draw the conclusion that encouraging people to drink less alcohol before they drive can be a contributing factor to a reported increase in accidents. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it wouldn’t be my go-to conclusion.

Image result for first minister at FMQ

No, instead of trying to score a cheap and incorrect point (which was bound to be disproved within seconds and very publicly, by the First Minister) would it not have been sensible to phrase your question thus:

‘Presiding Officer, I note that an article in “The Lancet” reveals statistics show a 7% increase in road accidents in Scotland since 2014. Would the First Minister confirm that her government will look into why that has happened and take such steps as are necessary to remedy the situation?’

That way perhaps you would have contributed to an investigation into the cause of the reported increase in accidents for the good of all of us. Isn’t that why we pay you?

The added advantage is you wouldn’t have looked like such a complete nob.

No, don’t thank me.

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PS: Does anyone know who he is? Answers on a postcard.

 

 

Random Thoughts

!!!!Maybot
Where? In Japan? On the Moon? 

Senior Tory to me: “with the vote postponed, are the promises to my colleagues of peerages and knighthoods still good?”. They should have read the small print.

So Dame Arlene no more?

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!!!EES
Nei, du kan ikke så gå bort og prøve med Nord-Korea
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Senior Tory: “The Irish should really know their place”.

They do know their place, mate. They are in a union with 26 other nations which have got their backs. That is their place and they are IN it.

Unlike the UK which is Billy No Mates and OUT of it.

Also, this is a really interesting negotiating strategy. Only the British Tories would have thought up something so fiendishly cunning.

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!7
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha… where are you resigning, Fluffy?

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I dunno…

Does anything ever go right for this hapless woman?

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!brex1
I nearly forgot. We have this extravaganza to look forward to.

From Torquil Crichton.

McDonnell to – we call the shots “We’ll put one down when we can win it. My view (on SNP) is they want is to lose a vote of no confidence, avoid a general election, they know we’re breathing down their necks in Scotland and will take seats off them.”

McDonnell, obviously high on something, putting the head jockess well and truly in her place over a proposed motion of no confidence. I expect they don’t want to call a motion of no confidence because, in a general election that might follow, they might lose, and look REALLY pathetic, or worse still, win, and have to sort of the s***show that May is leaving in her wake.

Oh, and just out of interest, has anyone seen any evidence of this neck breathing anywhere?

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JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT COULDN’T GET ANY STUPIDER …

THE “MEANINGFUL” (TITTER) VOTE WILL GO AHEAD…EXCEPT, AS USUAL, WITH HER, IT PROBABLY WON’T, BUT IT MIGHT HAVE TO…

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Would be pure 100% classic May to delay the vote. She has spent the last two years kicking away problems so they can kill her another day.

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I had been going to write about the appalling business of Jackson Carlaw’s lies about the Scottish Health Service’s record on ‘flu injections in comparison with their English counterpart’s record. He did this by comparing the English figures with Scottish figures from the month before.

Needless to say, an investigation showed that Scotland had done a better job than England. It will be interesting to see if he apologises from misleading parliament as the First Minister has requested.

However, these events have been overtaken by the by now regular occurrence of Mrs May, at least apparently, going back on something that she had absolutely been very clear, not to mention strong and stable about.

This from the BBC.

Theresa May is to make a statement to MPs at 15:30 GMT amid reports Tuesday’s vote on her Brexit deal is being delayed.

That will be followed by a statement from Commons leader Andrea Leadsom – and then a statement from the Brexit secretary on Article 50.

Two cabinet sources have told the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg Tuesday’s planned Brexit vote will be delayed.

There is not yet any official confirmation of the move.

Downing Street had been insisting the vote would go ahead, despite Mrs May being widely expected to lose it.

But a third Cabinet source has told the BBC the vote is “definitely off”.

Image result for KICKING A CAN DOWN THE ROAD

She apparently intends to give a statement to the House of Commons at 3.30.  

Promises, like piecrusts, in Mrs May’s book, are made to be broken.

But, and here it gets even dafter, it may be that she won’t be able to postpone the “meaningful” vote as a Tory (yes TORY) MP points out.

The PM does not get to pull a vote. The House will have to vote to pull a vote. I will oppose. We need to see this deal off once and for all.

 

So, stay tuned.

Sometimes she even beats Trump in the bizarre.

How the world must laugh.

LEAD US, DON’T LEAVE US… HA HA HA HA HA, etc

NOW, GET BACK IN YOUR BOX. HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT YOU CAN TAKE PART IN A GREAT BRITISH DEBATE?

Let me translate:

“Well, if the Scottish branch office broadcasters want to arrange a debate between the First Minister and that beardy specky guy, who makes the PM’s tea and serves those delightful butterfly cakes at Cabinet, it’s up to them. We don’t really care. It makes no difference to us what you people do. We shan’t pay any attention to the outcome, anyway

“Remind me, is Scotland the little one on the left or the bigger one up the top? We know it’s not the one with the sharp-tongued leaderette we’ve had to bribe with loads of dosh, which we won’t be able to get back now even though she stabbed us in the back.”

Almost a quote from David Livingstone, who, for those who don’t know, is some wee chappy who works in the imperial cabinet office in faraway London, although according to his photo he’s been dead for more than 100 years. A perfect qualification for a Tory minister.

It occurs to me, though, that if we are going to have a debate here, wouldn’t it be better to have Scottish leaders debating about Scotland, rather than that Muddled blokey, who simply says, nay stutters, whatever London tells him and who couldn’t find Scotland on a big map of…erm, Scotland.

Image result for david mundell beard

Although to be fair, it would be fun to watch the FM’s sharp legal brain wash the floor with Muddle’s fluffy one. Come to that it would be fun to see Nicola and Patrick wipe the floor with Carry on Dick, Wee Wullie and Jackson Carlot.

But wait, a horrific thought has just struck me. If we had a Scottish debate, we probably also have to sit through the awful prospect of Tweedle May and Tweedle Corbyn boring each other and everyone else, to death as well?

Image result for may and Corbyn debating cartoons

There seems almost no point in us watching the two Westminster leaders debating as neither has acknowledged the vast difference in the voting intentions in our country in the Scottish parliament, in the central parliament and most specifically, in the European referendum.

They are hardly likely to address any issues that would interest us and if they did they would almost certainly know nothing about them, and care even less.

All of that misses the main point that, if you are not going to allow a people’s vote on your half-arsed deal, what is the point of debating it for the people who can do damn all about it?

It’s the politicians who will make the decision. Maybe May and Corbyn should just bore the backside off THEM, till they agree to vote whatever way the whips tell them.

OH STOP IT

Image result for richard leonard

Richard Leonard said that the Scottish government should mitigate the 2 child policy in its next budget.

Nicola Sturgeon asked him to co-sign a letter with her to the Brits asking for ‘Welfare’ powers to be devolved to Scotland.

He refused to do that.

Jeremy Corbyn has now tweeted:

. is calling on the Scottish Government to use its powers in the interests of the many, not the few. needs to listen and scrap the two-child cap in the upcoming Scottish budget.

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I saw an excellent comment from Cameron Archibald.

Labour: The SNP should mitigate the two-child cap policy!

SNP: Sure, join us on calling Westminster to devolve welfare powers to Holyrood.

Labour: …

SNP: …

Labour: …

SNP: Well?

Labour: …

SNP: Hello?

Labour: …

SNP: Are you ok-?

Labour: The SNP should mitigate…

Come on Labour. What’s the problem? It’s not like some welfare powers are going to make us totally sovereign. It would, though, mean that we would be able to run out own social security system, hopefully, a good way from the despicable English Tory welfare misery which, only last week, prompted damning criticism from the UN Rapporteur.