Let’s all go down the beach…

… and forget all this virusy stuff…

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As for social distancing…It’s for the mugs, eh lads?

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But see all this litter?  Well, we’ll leave that for someone else to clear up… That will be a nice and healthy wee job!

View image on Twitter

Oh, and that goes for bodily wastes too!

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Here’s the laugh for today:

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In the 21st century, in a supposedly first-world country, this is how, having demanded a return to traditional parliament, they are going to vote… and we are going to be paying them to do it?

Needless to say, the MP for the 17th century has organised it… I wonder if they will have to wear morning dress…

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I hope Scottish MPs won’t be there.

OK. How can this be right?

Palace Of Westminster Portcullis House Big Ben Tower Of London ...

The result in the Westminster election in December last year was:

SNP:  47

Tory:  6

Liberal Democrat: 4

Labour:  1

Independent:  1

The composition of the Scottish Affairs Select Committee is as follows:

SNP:  3

Tory:  5

Liberal Democrat: 2

Labour:  1

Independent:  0

And some of them aren’t even Scottish MPs!

Given that EVEL (English Votes for English Laws) exists in the Commons, which is, I suppose, under the bizarre system where the UK parliament doubles as the English parliament, reasonable… how can it be that the distribution of committee seats differs so dramatically from the results of the votes of the Scottish people? And is there a reason that English MPs sit on the committee discussing Scottish Affairs?

Do they think, perhaps, that Scots need some sensible, properly educated English MPs to make sure that the Jocks don’t go wild, have a cèilidh, get drunk and chop their fingers off sharpening their pencils?

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3 AI scenarios that keep Dominic Cummings awake at night – POLITICO
Do you trust him?

Oh, and just a quick question for those Munguinites who live in Scotland.

Dominic Cummings has arranged to purchase the rights to a smartphone app which, they say, will make contact tracing easy. It’s from a company owned by the brother of some mate of his who was involved in the Vote Leave campaign and, I read somewhere, cost us £25 million.

Gove wanted to try it out on some Scottish islands, but perhaps the response he got on social media made Hancock decide to try it out on the Isle of Wight.

Jacob Rees 17th Century, who, let’s be honest, you would have thought unlikely to have even heard of smartphones or apps, has said that the UK must do this as one. Presumably he has an image in his head of heralds riding out on white steeds across the shires in search of people infected by the plague and eventually making their way to the rough and wildlands in North Britain.

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As the borders between the three mainland countries remain open (although Welsh police have turned away English holidaymakers at the border), I can see his point. And tracing has been a part of the more successful European and Asian countries’ tactics for dealing with the virus

On the other hand, I don’t trust Dominic Cummings’ app any more than I would trust Dominic Cummings himself. Not in a million years.

What do you think? If it works on the Isle of Wight, will you download it?

The Prime Minister for the 18th Century - Platinum Publishing Group
Bonus pic to cheer you up.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

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jake

So, if there is no Conservative Party left on November 1, why are they so keen to have a General Election in December?

I mean, if the Tories cease to exist, The Brexit party and Labour will carve up England between them (well OK, the LibDems may pick up a few seats too even if their leader sounds like she comes from South Africa! (I mean what IS that accent?)

Also, Boris Johnson, intellect and breadth… in one sentence? Surely not.

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Dominic, on the side of the downtrodden workers, swamped with nasty foreign regulations and court judgments and done out of employment by EU workers. Just as well we voted for him, eh?

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Well, Richard, what do you reckon? Will you call for these things to be devolved?

Then, if it went wrong, you could reasonably blame the Scottish government. As it is the shortcomings are firmly in the court of your beloved Tory UK. And honestly, even with the world’s second most chaotic government, Labout is still a country mile behind Boris “the ditch” Johnson.

For those on Twitter, give Sarah a follow. Great posts.

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alistqair union jack

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joke2

Ooooops! As Mr Grayson would have it… Shut that door!

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Now, I’m no apologist for Corbyn, but it’s a bit of a cheek that the Tory Daily Mail on Sunday highlights a bloke taking 40 winks on a L-O-N-G train journey from England to Scotland. Especially when their own snooze on the front benches while he should be listening to a debate.

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EHZfur6W4AAS7b0

I hear Gove has been ranting at Corbyn about how much money the Tories have spent on the NHS. However much it is, the English NHS is short of 10,000 doctors and over 40,000 nurses, so it’s not enough.

Ho Hum…Things go better with Coke?

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

Nearly everyone is tweeting or writing about the plan Johnson has proposed to the EU. Anything much written on here would be superfluous. Suffice to say that it probably will be rejected by the EU. Ireland has already said “tai”, no, in Irish, and I’ve just seen Guy Verhoffstadt’s rejection. Pfff.

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Ian Dunt.

This is far more informed and more eloquent than I could ever have managed.

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A lorry knocked the unicorn off the royal crest thingy on the gates of Buck House. La fin du régime approche?

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Just in case for some strange reason, you thought they gave a damn, Dominic Cummings, the prime minister’s right-hand man tells it as it is!

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They do, however, give a considerable damn what they get to quaff. Deliveries must keep a constant supply of bubbles (did anyone mention that  la région de Champagne est située dans l’UE et … donc… étrangère !!!!!!). Next year it will have to be home-made Rose Hip Wine!

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Love his expressions…

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Saturday is the big day for the Edinburgh march. Hopefully, the weather will be good. Last year it was fabulous. Needless to say no matter how many people turn up the BBC will pretty much ignore it in favour of Mrs McGinty’s cat getting stuck up a tree in Ecclefechan.

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I really wish I could be there, but less than 2 weeks after my operation, I’m advised against going. I wish all of you who will be there, the very best. There will be some great people to march with and meet, and some fantastic speakers.

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“Pidä likaiset käteni itsellesi, sinä kamala vanha oranssi juttu”, which is Finnish and translates roughly as “keep your dirty hands to yourself” … and something about orange things.

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Image result for did jo swinson vote for English votes for English laws

From day one I thought that the LibDems electing Swinson as leader at this crucial time was a monumental error.

Quite apart from the fact that she represents a Scottish seat and is, therefore, barred from voting on something like 60% of legislation passing through the commons, thanks to EVEL, I reckon that she lacks any kind of charisma, and her voting record shows that she is anything but Liberal (having voted for Tory policies more than many Tory MPs) and her policy of simply scrapping Brexit without any kind of vote suggests that the “Democrat” part of her job title is a bit dubious too.

However, she seems to think that she can be the next prime minister and to that end has asked for her supporters to pledge £100 a month to her cause.

One hundred pounds a month from ordinary working people? What planet does she live on?

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That was then and this is now

I know the print is small so I’ve strained my eyes in your service.

In the tweets on the right-hand side, Nigel says that Britain will be:

1/ safer and better off;

2/ more prosperous:

3/ better off:

4/ better off.

Now he says that, in fact, he never said it would be a beneficial thing, just that we would be self-governing.

!!!!!!promises proises

Now I can understand the desire for self-government. Most of us here can. But there has to be a bigger objective than just that. I want to be self-governing because…

Well, we’ve discussed this before. Personally, I’d like to live like the small, rather unimportant, peaceful, democratic northern European country that we actually are, one that puts its citizens first, rather than the “punching above its weight”, nuclear weapons holding, sad little joke of a poodle appendage to the USA, basking in a long-forgotten glorious empire and generally being laughed at… that the UK is today.

I mean how much difference will we notice when the UK is “independent”. After all, the EU didn’t poke its nose into that many things despite what they try to tell you.

It didn’t set our personal taxes or taxes on businesses. It didn’t interfere with our education systems throughout the UK. It didn’t poke its nose into our health services either.

It didn’t tell us when we had to go to war, or what size our armed forces should be or that we should spend money we don’t have on nuclear weapons we can never use and that aren’t a deterrent to anyone.

Image result for state pomp in England

It didn’t interfere with our constitution, no matter how dubious our “democracy”. No one told us you have to have to have an elected president, an elected Senate, a proportional representation system so there should be some semblance of democracy in your government. Oh and get rid of that privy council nonsense. No sir.

Nor did it set our minimum wage, our social security rates, our retirement age, our pensions (if it had we could have looked forward to a much more prosperous retirement), or the way we treat our sick and disabled people with ATOS and the likes.

It didn’t interfere in law and order, policing, prisons, courts, nor our railways or buses, or the generation of our electricity and our gas networks. It didn’t poke its nose much into our water (only to ensure that it met a minimum standard on beaches may be… you know, keep the sewerage down).

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It didn’t even demand that we treat living returning military personnel with any kind of respect. It hasn’t insisted that we ensure that they don’t die homeless and penniless as a result of the traumas they have suffered.

Most of what it did poke its nose into had to do with trade, employment, making Europe a reasonably level playing field in the four competencies, and for many of us that was probably a good thing, as we are probably about to find out. Who needs health and safety at work anyway?

Yes, it is true that with a dire shortage of labour in this country and a rapidly ageing population to support, had we had no access to foreign workers the labour market would have had the upper hand in wage negotiations. Employers would have to pay more.

Image result for immigrants coming to england

Simple case of supply and demand. (I’ve heard it said that in previous times of economic boom when there was almost no unemployment, workers would start a new job on a Monday morning, but be poached by another company on the Wednesday with a higher wage and finish on the Friday.)  So maybe wages will go up after March, but as prices are likely to dramatically increase too, that may be rather a double-edged sword.

Mr Rees Mogg tells us that it may be around 50 years before we feel the benefit of being out of the EU and Mr Farage said he never thought it was a great idea, except for the independence bit.

Ever get the idea you’ve been had?

 

NOW WE ARE SERIOUSLY LOOKING AT NO DEAL

Brexit: What the Hell Happens Now?: 2018 Edition by [Dunt, Ian]

Not long after the referendum, Terry Entoure pointed me in the direction of “Brexit: What the Hell Happens Now?” a book by Ian Dunt, the editor of Politics.co.uk.

In the first chapter, Dunt paints a doomsday scenario of a no deal exit, a scary, dystopian vision of the future. I was seriously worried by the time I finished. Fortunately, right at the end of the chapter, he admits that this is an absolute worst case scenario and highly unlikely to happen. The rest of the book is a little more upbeat.

!EXIT

But because the different factions of the Tories and the DUP can’t agree on anything that would be even halfway acceptable to each other, never mind the European Union, and the clock that Monsieur Barnier pointed out was ticking over a year ago, is still heading to that 11 pm deadline on March 29, 2019, it is beginning to look like that is what we are heading for. For those in doubt, this is what it would look like.

May has always said that “no deal is better than a bad deal”, but frankly it isn’t true, any more than her other witterings have been… you know, like “being very clear” about stuff, and being “strong and stable” in government.

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Today David Dark Money Mundell, a man who makes Jim Murphy look like a  halfway decent Secretary of State for Scotland, has said that a no deal scenario would be preferable to the break up of the United Kingdom.

That as the UK government admitted that it was stockpiling medicines and foods against this eventuality, emergency measures are being drawn up, notes of advice will be issued to households over the coming months and Jacob Rees Mogg, Brexiter Extraordinaire admits that the UK could be looking at 50-60 years of austerity.

It’s all an awfully long way from £350 million a week for the NHS.

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I can only imagine that Muddle is speaking for himself on this matter. As a Cabinet Minister, I assume he wouldn’t be obliged to suffer any of the privations that the rest of us would endure. But of course, his seat around the cabinet table and the ministerial car and fat salary would disappear overnight were there no Scotland to Secretary of State for.

He most certainly isn’t talking for me, but then, I doubt that in his entire life he has ever spoken up for the likes of us… you know, ordinary Scottish people.brexitstamsp

Still … look on the bright side, folks… We can always laugh at this stupid arse.

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MORE BREXIT MADNESS

Iron Lady made of  Papier Mâché
brexit4
So, how many dead for Brexit?
b
Aye, the trouble is that most of them will be Mr Bun the Baker.

berex

b1
Well, that’s a relief.
b3
You just stick to what you’re best at mate, drinking and smoking.
b2
Pity that the easiest thing in human history is proving too hard for you, you bloody disgrace.
bre999
How long before they are calling on us to display the Dunkirk Spirit?
br boris eu
Well, well…
brex123
So Davis has gone, but is his replacement any less ridiculous?
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And, talking of ridiculous…
brexxi
Yes, Lord Bramall, it is. Indeed it is.
brex9
Stunning. What did she promise Dacre for that? Lord Dacre of Brexit?
breex
And today they managed to make their own policies illegal…
Breden
Oh yes. Let’s be like Denmark.

THE SUN COMIC GETS IT WRONG AGAIN…

…AND SOME HALF WIT MP FALLS FOR IT

£SUN

Despite the very very obvious errors in this Sun article, Jacob Rees Mogg, multi-millionaire businessman was happy to endorse it:

Thanks to the Sun for calculating the huge savings for us all outside the Customs Union, except for the one on cigarettes which no government would pass on.

Someone with a basic knowledge of how these things work was bright enough to point out the error of their ways to the Sun, and this is the result.

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Scary, isn’t it?

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Now, that made you laugh… I hope this will make you smile: