SO, DESPITE VOTING AGAINST LEAVING THE EU…

…SCOTLAND’S PARLIAMENT WILL SUFFER SIGNIFICANT CHANGE BECAUSE ENGLAND AND WALES VOTED THE OTHER WAY

Or at least so says this roaster.

£mundel

Dunno about you, but to me, this is beginning to sound frightening.

All we can do is cross our fingers and hope that the unintended consequences of the BritNats’ desire to show Johnnie Foreigner a thing or two, will be the break-up of their beloved and benighted kingdom.

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Given the verification tick, I’m assuming this is genuinely from Mrs May’s boss, the president of the United States of America, the world’s biggest economy and most powerful armed forces.

Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!

OMG! As Pa Broon said on Twitter, they’ve put a toddler in charge of the USA.

HELP!

SOS!

M’AIDER!

AU SECOURS!

CUIDEACHADH!

 

 

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

£JOHN
John Redwood‏ @johnredwood

Once out of the EU Customs Union the UK could unilaterally cut all tariffs on products we don’t grow for ourselves or could offer to do so in return for some free trade response from those who would benefit. Inside, we can’t do this as the others don’t agree with this strategy.

Yes, that would all be fine, Mr Redwood, but it would involve leaving the World Trade Organisation too. You did know that, didn’t you?

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It appears that Fluffy Muddle wasn’t available for an interview this morning on Radio Scotland to talk about the EU withdrawal economic impact assessments from the British government, y’know, the ones that they had and didn’t have and then had again (or something).

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I suspect he must have been on early morning tea duties at Downing Street (tea tray at 6 am, tea, milk, 2 digestives, open curtains). But I wonder where his blue-blooded aristocratic assistant was. Don’t we pay him to be available for occasions on which the Rt Hon blokey is otherwise engaged in beard cleaning …or domestic duties… or whatever it is he does?

colr

And what about the Colonel, who assured us she attends British Cabinet meetings? Was she on manoeuvres somewhere with her rusty troops?

Why does no one want to talk about this stuff?

Murdo, oh Murdo????

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A Fife farmer has had to let crops die in the fields because he can’t get anyone to pick them since so many Europeans have left for home, or somewhere else in the union with more stability.

This is before we have actually left Europe.

It is a bit worrying that we will be bringing back control only to find that it’s all got out of control.

Some quote the unemployment figures and ask why we are so short of people when so many are unemployed. However, government figures (1.4 million) show an unemployment rate of 4.2%, which by common consent, is considered to be more or less full employment.

A substantial section of this is made up of people simply between jobs. Starting a new job in a few weeks but left the present one and needing “NI stamps”. After a few weeks they sign off to be replaced by others in the same situation.

This figure also includes the ever-growing number of people who are over 50 and over 60 (and unless you’ve been used to outdoor, hard physical work all your life it’s unlikely [not impossible] you’d be able to start …and be effective… in that kind of work at that time of life).

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Clearly, some older people have no problems landing a job.

 

Having worked in the employment business, I can assure you that it is harder for older folk to get into work. If it’s a physical job, employers are looking for younger people who will still be standing at the end of a hard 8-hour shift. If it’s office work, employers are looking for people whose IT skills are up to the lastest mark. In hospitality and retail, they tend to be overlooked too. When did you last see a barista in Costa Coffee, or an assistant in Next with grey hair

It also includes people who have disabilities but who are able to work if someone gives them the chance, but for some of whom a job bent over in muddy field wouldn’t be appropriate, or even possible.

Unemployment figures also include those who, for other reasons, are pretty much unemployable. (Michael Something of the Night Howard’s “prison works” may have been a cool slogan for the blue rinses and retired colonels, but the truth is it does damage people’s employment prospects in the future, one reason that Scotland’s government has tried to reduce the number of people incarcerated).

Then there are those who have drink and drug issues which render them unemployable. Not a small number.

So if, in the end, 2 million of the 3 million Europeans do leave, from what pool of labour will we recruit?

We need to remember too, that farm labour is a tiny part our problems. Perhaps even more important are the care staff for our old people’s homes, the highly trained medical staff that work in the NHS, doctors, nurses, radiologists, physios, etc, etc.

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Munguin4

Oh and, I won’t tell you again…

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SOMETIMES MUNGUIN JUST SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND WONDERS IF HE’S ONLY DREAMING

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In the strange world of today, blessed as we are with a lying, delusional moron as president of the United States of America and a Britain ripping itself out of the European Union, the largest richest trading block in the world, and going who knows where,  under the “direction” of a disparate bunch of idiots who seem to have no idea what they are doing… and in any case are all doing whatever it is differently, it has become increasingly difficult to take seriously any of the what now passes for news.

In fact, I read earlier today that Private Eye is no longer as funny as it once was. Presumably this is because it’s impossible to put a ‘funnier’ spin on the already hilariously ridiculous news.

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Today, we heard that David Davis thinks that, while MPs will get the chance to debate the terms of Brexit deal (or one of the different kinds of no deal that he imagines to be possible), it might actually have to happen after the deed is done and dusted. By which time, of course, it will be impossible to make changes and any vote would be as much of a waste of time as the one which they had on Universal Credit. Bravo, David.

Then we find out that Harry Windsor has been on a charm offensive to Denmark. The government, being lumbered with Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary, has decided to use the Windsors to do his job. Well, I suppose they have to do something for all that money.

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Additionally, Willie and Kate and Charles and Cammy have been sent off at various times recently, to visit various parts of Europe. This is apparently designed to make the Europeans feel kindly disposed to the English or Brits or whatever. Note that H\rry arrived in a private jet, so heaven knows what the cost of this jolly is.

phil

Still, it has to be better than sending grandpa!

a!fal

I’ve just read too, that the only semi-sentient Defence Secretary SIR Hic Fallon has told the Defence Committee: “I have to repeat, sadly, to this committee that criticism of Saudi Arabia in this parliament is not helpful”.

Fallon claimed that criticism of Saudi Arabia in Parliament was the reason that a large order for Eurofighter Typhoon Jets to the barbaric kingdom was being held up.

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Well, we’re bloody sorry.  Who are we to be spoiling Britains chance to sell these people more weaponry to kill Yemen kids, or indeed to arm whatever other rebels they arm? (Ask Boris.) Stop being nasty about the royal Saudi thugs.

It will come as no surprise that the waste of space that inhabits the cabinet chair marked “Secretary of State against Scotland and for Making May’s Tea” was unable to tell us what new powers would be coming to Scotland… just as he was unable to explain why, as powers keep being given back to Scotland, it has been necessary for him to boost his staff from 5 to over 70.

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His only function is to represent Scotland’s interests in London. He has now 15 times the staff numbers available to him to do this. And yet, having promised a raft of new powers, he is unable to name one of them. NOT ONE. What on earth use is he, or indeed is his Noble Friend the Under Secretary so recently and with indecent haste raised to the aristocracy when he lost an election? (You Jocks didn’t vote for him, but we’ll make him your overlord anyway! Sod this democracy lark!)

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And all that is before I’ve even had a chance to find out what kind of tomfoolery the orange baboon has been up to today.

TORY CONFERENCE TIME

 

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This is all so confusing: “Centre”? “Social Justice”? Even “for” is a bit dubious in this context, unless followed by “oneself”
a tory snip
Apparently, the massive cost of policing this bunch of third-rate, z list reprobates is to be shouldered by the taxpayer (broad shoulders, you’ll remember). It’s only in Scotland that the UK government won’t pick up the tab for these jamborees.
a tory1
Busy?
a tory3
Just Tories at play. 
a tory
Drawing big crowds.
aruth4
In case you ever forget what kind of people they are…
ator mund
Fluffy got a record-breaking crowd. And little wonder. Can you imagine how riveting it must be to sit through a Muddle speech?
caconference
Preparation is everything. Mind you don’t cut your thumb, Govey. 
fire
Just in case that didn’t go in the first time. These are the people that shed a crocodile tear for the residents of Grenfel Tower.
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Fortunately, the ex-Labour MP Bomber Harris has returned to the Press (having found that his safe seat wasn’t, after all, safe) to keep a critical eye on, and a sharp tongue for, the Tories. “We Socialists…” How we laughed!”
A JACOB
Ah yes, what kind, indeed? A Tory leadership hopeful. Where there is money to be made, the conscience and religious sensibilities of the Rees-Moggs of this world go flying out the window.

 

IT’S COSY BEING PART OF OUR UNITED KINGDOM AND HAVING THEIR BROAD SHOULDERS TO RELY ON. NOT

May even ignores Scottish Tories.

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It seems to me that Colonel Davidson’s glory days were short lived. When the Tories became the opposition in Scotland and then won seats in the UK elections, Ruth was the all conquering hero; the golden girl. She could do no wrong.

Then came the deal with Foster. 

Who knows if buoyed by all her successes (and I know that not only didn’t she win anything, in fact, she trailed a dismal second to Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP in both Edinburgh and London, but it was, without doubt, considerable progress), perhaps she became a bit cheeky with May. It’s hard not to get above yourself when you’ve been relatively successful and your smart ass boss has just made a monumental idiot of hersel;f.

 

Arlene-Foster-David-Mundell-816040
The difference between someone who got £1b and someone who was told to make the tea.

 

When May had to bribe Foster to the tune of between £1 billion and £1.5 billion to keep herself in power, after her disastrous attempt to show Europe just how strong, stable and red, white and blue she was, there is no doubt that Colonel Davidson was not best pleased.

Davidson made the clear to May, quite rightly, that she wouldn’t tolerate any of the DUP’s loonie right wing, orange, religious claptrap bigotry, and she did it very publicly. Although to be fair there has yet to be any stoning of gays, or beheading those who have had abortions since the DUP have been keeping the Tories in power (so Ruth may have been heeded) it seems that her star has been somewhat diminished.

And now  May’s stuttering, stumbling toady second in command has made it clear that he (read May) doesn’t give a fig what the rt honourable and gallant lady  thinks about desperately needed immigration to Scotland, the UK government is going to press ahead with what England wants.

In the meantime, Mundell made it clear that he wouldn’t allow Northern Ireland to get a shedload of dosh while Scotland got nothing, shortly after which he appeared to suffer from some sort of amnesia on the subject. Arlene got loads of money and an RAF flight home to Belfast, while Nicola Sturgeon was told to use the tradesman’s entrance when she called, and speak to the parlour maid.

 

agove
Viking Gove

 

I suppose it would be fair to say that a number of the Tory MPs elected in Scotland were thus chosen because of the Tory hard line on the EU. North East Fishing communities have long considered that the EU quota system to have been responsible for a decline in their living standards. Leaving the EU and getting them their fishing rights back was Tory policy.

Note the tense of the verb.

Past.

 

Conservative Party Conference 2014
I know, there is absolutely no need for a second picture of Gove, but who knows, you’re maybe bothered with mice in the house, and printing out one of these pictures should rid you of them pretty much instantaneously. No, it’s fine… Don’t thank me.

 

Because, a couple of weeks ago, Wee Govey took himself off to Denmark to reassure the Danes that, of course, they would be able to fish in Scottish waters after the UK left Europe. (Having your cod and eating it?) There was some notion that we actually couldn’t cope with all these fish on our own. Too wee, too poor and too stupid again, I guess

So, yes, the Tories are certainly fighting hard… it’s just that it’s with each other, and not for Scotland.