LEAD US, DON’T LEAVE US… HA HA HA HA HA, etc

NOW, GET BACK IN YOUR BOX. HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT YOU CAN TAKE PART IN A GREAT BRITISH DEBATE?

Let me translate:

“Well, if the Scottish branch office broadcasters want to arrange a debate between the First Minister and that beardy specky guy, who makes the PM’s tea and serves those delightful butterfly cakes at Cabinet, it’s up to them. We don’t really care. It makes no difference to us what you people do. We shan’t pay any attention to the outcome, anyway

“Remind me, is Scotland the little one on the left or the bigger one up the top? We know it’s not the one with the sharp-tongued leaderette we’ve had to bribe with loads of dosh, which we won’t be able to get back now even though she stabbed us in the back.”

Almost a quote from David Livingstone, who, for those who don’t know, is some wee chappy who works in the imperial cabinet office in faraway London, although according to his photo he’s been dead for more than 100 years. A perfect qualification for a Tory minister.

It occurs to me, though, that if we are going to have a debate here, wouldn’t it be better to have Scottish leaders debating about Scotland, rather than that Muddled blokey, who simply says, nay stutters, whatever London tells him and who couldn’t find Scotland on a big map of…erm, Scotland.

Image result for david mundell beard

Although to be fair, it would be fun to watch the FM’s sharp legal brain wash the floor with Muddle’s fluffy one. Come to that it would be fun to see Nicola and Patrick wipe the floor with Carry on Dick, Wee Wullie and Jackson Carlot.

But wait, a horrific thought has just struck me. If we had a Scottish debate, we probably also have to sit through the awful prospect of Tweedle May and Tweedle Corbyn boring each other and everyone else, to death as well?

Image result for may and Corbyn debating cartoons

There seems almost no point in us watching the two Westminster leaders debating as neither has acknowledged the vast difference in the voting intentions in our country in the Scottish parliament, in the central parliament and most specifically, in the European referendum.

They are hardly likely to address any issues that would interest us and if they did they would almost certainly know nothing about them, and care even less.

All of that misses the main point that, if you are not going to allow a people’s vote on your half-arsed deal, what is the point of debating it for the people who can do damn all about it?

It’s the politicians who will make the decision. Maybe May and Corbyn should just bore the backside off THEM, till they agree to vote whatever way the whips tell them.

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WELL, FLUFFS, WHAT’S IT TO BE?

Will you give up the ministerial car and the fat salary and resign on “principle”?

Or cling on to the perks and run away from questions.

Again.

AND SO THIS IS BREXIT, I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN

brexidiot

When you think about it, before Cameron promised the referendum he should have had impact assessments done for every area of life, in every area of the UK.

Then, once the referendum was a live thing and the campaigns had started, the impacts could have been made public and preparation should have been underway in all departments.ย  Perhaps it would have dispelled the nonsense of ยฃ350m a week to the NHS.

Immediately after the referendum, then, the incoming PM could have been ready to start negotiations with the EU.

Image result for david cameron looking fat

Cameron was stupid to think he could unite his party by calling the referendum, and arrogant beyond belief to believe he couldn’t lose it. (He did believe that. Eton boys don’t lose stuff, you see. They always get their way.)

But he was criminally negligent to order that NO preparation at all be made in any department for a leave scenario. For that negligence, he should be in court.

Not that any of this is meant to imply that I feel sorry for May.

I don’t. She knew what she was getting in to. She knew that not a thing had been done. She had, after all, been Home Secretary. Maybe she thought she was clever enough to sort it. If so she was most definitely wrong.

Or maybe she was so desperate to be prime minister that she simply didn’t care that the job was well beyond her capabilities.

But even taking all that into consideration, she’s had over two years to sort something out. (Or she would have had it she hadn’t messed about with a general election in which she lost her majority, paid a ยฃ2 billion bribe to Arlene for her support and then was stuffed when Arlene didn’t get everything she asked for.)

brexit

We are now within the last few days available for negotiations and … Well, you pretty much know where we are.

But here’s a few things to remind you anyway:

Spanish PM Pedro Sanchez reiterated in a press conference with Portuguese PM last night: if there’s no solution on Gibraltar he will say No to Brexit Deal on Sunday.

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Theresa Mayย was unable to make a breakthrough in Brussels yesterday evening with Jean-Claude Junker, despite last-ditch talks over herย  Brexit deal.

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bryng

 

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It might have helped if idiot ministers had told the truth.

Well, apart from the fact that it wasn’t remotely true, Ms Mordaunt, we used to have a veto, when we were full members of the EU. We could have stopped the accession.

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Expert witnesses at have just confirmed to me that this means preferential tariff-free access for fish caught by NI registered vessels under . A significant blow for industry.

So, I’m assuming that, unless David Mundell has found yet another excuse (athletes’ foot always worked for me at PE), his resignation will be on Maybot’s desk when she gets in from her unsuccessful meeting in Brussels.

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HE’S THREATENING AGAIN?

YAWN… BORING

Image result for david mundell

The Scottish Secretary has indicated he could quit if the UK remains tied to EU fishing policies and quotas until 2022.

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Mundell said the withdrawal bill would return powers to Scotland. It didn’t.

He said he’d amend the bill so it would return powers to Scotland. He didn’t,

He said the Lords would amend it so it would return powers to Scotland. They didn’t.

He said he would resign if NI got a bespoke deal. They did. He didn’t.

He accused Nicola Sturgeon of wanting, and working towards, a no deal Brexit to further the aims of the Independence movement. She wasn’t. Indeed she agreed today to work with the other opposition parties to try to achieve something better, given that with the DUP’s nose out of joint, there is little likelihood that May’s deal (or anything else) will pass in the Commons.

Frankly, he seems to be to be a bag of wind.

SO, HOW’S IT ALL GOING, THERESA?

Disjointed stuff here about what I’m hearing about the UK’s proposed agreement with the EU as it trickles in.

So, as predicted, it’s all going swimmingly, straight to the bottom of the sea.

The utterly secret deal that everyone seems to know about is causing consternation.

Of course, we don’t know if any of this stuff is true, because no one, not even the Scottish government has been informed, but as Robert Peston pointed out, Scotland is hardly likely to be happy about the Northern Irish being able to operate within the EU frameworks, while Scotland cannot. Nicola Sturgeon did not demur.

And, as Peston points out, the DUP isn’t happy for the exact opposite reason. Although it would likely be of great economic value to their province to remain more closely tied to Ireland and Europe, they want no truck with all the extra jobs. It would mean not being 100% subjugated to Her Majesty and her flag. (NB: Exceptions apply here regarding dinosaurs, gay people, abortions and anything else that suits Orange people.)

joke nigel1
Not THAT kind of orange, you numpty. He’s VERY unhappy.ย  Signed Munguin.

Up to now, it’s not looking good for the prime minister and her plan.

ย This is going to be one of these days where the news trickles in bit by bit. Unfortunately, I’ll be out all afternoon. But that shouldn’t stop the discussion.

Updates welcome, Munguinites.

THAT MAGIC MONEY TREE ONLY SEEMS TO BLOOM WHEN IT SUITS MAYHEM

!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Michelin closure is a huge deal in Dundee.

More than 800 jobs in the company are set to go and most of us know someone who will lose his or her well-paid job. That’s before you take account of the knock-on effect on other business. And for the well-trained workforce, there aren’t that many jobs in Dundee that pay the kind of money Michelin pays.

The reason given for the closure is the cheap far eastern imports of the smaller size tyres that are made in Dundee. Certainly, Michelin tyres are really good, but they are also very expensive. The somewhat illogical move towards larger cars (and larger tyres) and the price are the reasons for the fall in sales. There’s nothing much one can do about that.

However, I can’t help thinking that there may be an element of Brexit uncertainty for the French company. Hundreds of UKย  and international companies are moving out of the UK. It would be odd if this company hadn’t taken Brexit into account.

Image result for michelin dundee

The Tay Cities deal is being underfunded to the tune of ยฃ50 million. In the meantime, the DUP have secured another billion pounds from the magic money tree that Mayhem keeps in her backyard.

Mundell is being his usual completely useless self.

Over and over again he has made statements, promises and threats on a variety of matters, and over and over again zero has happened. Even his threat to resign came to zilch.

He promised more powers would come to Scotland after Brexit. In fact, Edinburgh will enjoy fewer powers. And, as Clive Ponting has said, maybe Brexit will mean the Tories get what they have always wanted and the Scottish parliament is disbanded

He failed to stand up for Scottish farmers whenย  Gove spent EU money, destined for Scotland, in England.

He assured us that when May paid the first bribe of a billion pounds to her pal, Arlene, that Scotland wouldn’t lose out. It did.

And now he has said that despite the Michelin situation we will get no extra cash… not even get what we were promised in the City Deals.

Image result for michelin dundee derek mckay

Despite the utter uselessness of Mundell and the Brits, our own government is working hard to try to retain the jobs in Dundee.

Replying toย 

๐—ข๐—ฏ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—น๐˜† ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—™๐—น๐˜‚๐—ณ๐—ณ๐˜† & ๐—ฅ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ต ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฆ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜/๐—š๐—ผ๐˜ƒ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฎ ๐—ณ๐˜‚๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐— ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป ๐——๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ. ๐—”๐—น๐—น ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐˜๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—น๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฒ

It’s a worrying thought that John Heffren may to an extent be right. The Tories have little to lose in a place like Dundee and frankly little to gain by working to keep Michelin here. No matter what they do, Dundee won’t vote Tory.

And wouldn’t it suit them nicely if the Scottish government failed?

RANDOM THOUGHTS

!Fishing1.jpg
Well, if the Tories say so, it must be true…
!fishing
…or maybe not so much.
!mundell.jpg
What does “guarantee mean, Fluffs? Any ideas?
!!1
Well, no, absolutely not, except we are?
!!!!!!promises proises
Tell me, Douglas, how could we get a better trade deal than we have now?
!Farms!
I’m sure the Tories will look after the farmers… Oh, wait. A bit like the fisherman, they talk a good talk, but…
!raab
So, yeah. Has Dom just let something out of the bag?