Oops, there’s been another Murdo!

 

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The inimitable Murdo Fraser, the scourge of, well, nothing much really… has commented on the decision of the Green Party to withdraw their candidates from the North East Fife and Perth and North Perthshire elections, in order, presumably, to give Steven Gethings (majority 2) and Pete Wishart (majority 21) a better chance of winning.

It was a very generous gesture, but also a sensible one.

There was no realistic chance of the Green candidates winning and a vote which was split along independence/dependence lines could well have let in a unionist.

Murdo wrote:

@murdo_fraser
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Just in case there was any lingering doubt that the ‘Greens’ are now a wholly-owned subsidiary of the SNP… twitter.com/torcuil/status…
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Unfortunately, his equally-dismal colleague, Annie Wells, had, over the last few days, spearheaded a campaign for Labour in Scotland to join with the Tories where appropriate to keep the SNP out.
“Kettle”,  “pot” and “black arse” are words that come readily to mind.
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Worse still for poor old Murdo, it appears that Nigel Farage (possibly soon Sir Nigel or Lord Farage, if he is to be believed) has stood down his candidates in any seat where there is an incumbent Tory leaver (over 300), thus vastly improving Conservative chances in the election.
Poor old Murdo now has to work out whether the Tories are a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Nigel Farage Party, or the other way round.
That should keep him out of mischief for the rest of the campaign.
I loved this tweet from Crow Esquire:
@CrowSaorAlba1
Replying to

In comedy timing is everything. Look how this clown tweets this on the same day that the Tories became a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Brexit Party.
Murdo for stand-up champion of the year.
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YOU DIDN’T MENTION THE PRESCRIPTION CHARGES…

Of course, there are many more advantages to living in Scotland than the ones listed above.

The health service is measurably better than in the UK on most counts; Council tax is lower in general; trains run more efficiently; there are more police per capita; the prison service hasn’t been privatised and ruined; likewise the probation service; water charges are lower because we don’t have to pay for fat cat salaries on top of paying to catch, store and distribute water… and deal with waste; government committed to reducing greenhouse gases more quickly than the English/UK government, so fresher air, and so on.

Additionally, some of the worst of the Tories’ evil social security excesses have been mitigated.

Of course, off the top of my head, I can’t think of all of the benefits… please feel free to add some if you can. A full list is a useful tool for discussion with doubters.

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PS Murdo is a right twerp, isn’t he?

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER BAILOUT FOR CROSSRAIL

But it is a good day to bury bad news

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No wonder our GERS figures are so bad. Scottish taxpayers are subsidising the £16bn…yes £16bn… late-running, bailout-prone Crossrail. It is, at the moment running 1 year late and £2bn over budget.

But I recall that Murdo and Wee Willie Rennie got in an awful stew when, due to bad winter weather, the Forth Crossing was a little later that had been forecast. (Although as I recall it was earlier than the first estimates which had overoptimistically been revised down.)

I’m pretty sure that, despite all the money my taxes are pouring into it, I won’t get any benefit at all from Crossrail. It’s not heading for Scotland, is it?

!!!!!!!murdo
Of course, Murdo is a bit of a twerp.

Is there anything at all that the Conservative government (or their MPs, MSPs) touches that isn’t an out and out bùrach?

Answers on a postcard to Munguin, Munguin Towers.

 

SIT DOWN, MR FRASER

I just read that Murdo Fraser refused to appear on Good Morning Scotland opposite Ivan McKee and gave as his reason that it was because he shadows Derek Mackay. He wanted Derek MacKay to appear with him.

I think we could make a stab at why the real reason Mr Fraser didn’t want to appear with Mr McKee, don’t you?

What a LAFFer Curve!

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And, as an antidote …

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YOU SEE, THEY JUST CAN’T HELP IT

!£$!

One might equally have asked the Member for Lothian Region if she could have come back from the Australian Jungle and got on with the day job.

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Or maybe they might have asked her why, when she was leader of the Scottish Labour Party, she thought that it was a good idea to visit  America to campaign for Hillary Clinton.

See, by now Kez, I’d have thought that you might have learned that people who live in glass houses should probably buy VERY big curtains.

Of all the train companies in this Benighted Kingdom, ScotRail has the best performance.

In fairness, Kezia may not have noticed that there is a howling gale across Scotland and that there has been torrential rain. An unfortunate outcome of this is that outdoor things tend not to work at 100% capacity… and I might say, wouldn’t do even if she, or her daft new boss, were the first minister.

As we have said before, reasoned and reasonable criticism is the job of opposition. Criticism for the sake of criticism is not.

Powerful and dynamic though the first minister may be, the winds and the waves do not obey her, no more does the rain.

Grow up, Kez.

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Of course, it’s the Daily Mail, so it’s unadulterated rubbish.

In 2009, in private audience with the Queen at Balmoral (something not granted to the Daily Mail “journalists”), Alex Salmond and HM discussed flag flying after which he ordered that the Royal Standard be flown on “royal occasions”, rather than the union flag.

!q

“I remember the occasion very well,” Salmond said in a post on his website.

“Her Majesty asked me if the Lion Rampant was a popular flag in Scotland.

“I was able to assure her that it was and indeed much beloved of Scottish football and rugby fans. Thus I brought the new policy into effect and left the union flag flying, as appropriate, at armed forces day and Remembrance Sunday.”

And that makes sense. Flying a royal standard is a great deal more respectful to the Queen personally than flying any other flag.

$flag

Happy to correct if wrong, but which part of the Telegraph front page article is wrong. They quote advice issued by your government that only the Satire should be flown on all occasions apart from Remembrance Sunday. Does that document not exist?

1/2 It has been practice to fly Lion Rampant on Royal occasions since 2010. I have not ordered, instructed, authorized any change – indeed there has been no change. Civil servants recently updated published guidance to reflect the long standing practice…

Needless to say the ever moronic Murdo Fraser made a fool of himself by comparing Nicola’s tweets to those of Donald Trump’s. UH? Get back on the meds, Murdo.

Fraser said: “This is a desperate attempt by Nicola Sturgeon to spin her way out of trouble.

“The SNP is more interested in lowering Union Flags than raising standards in schools and hospitals.

“The First Minister’s Trump-style Twitter denial by candlelight last night does nothing to change the facts.”

Well, in that respect, of course, he is right. The fact is that there has been no change.

Mr Fraser must have been going around with his head under his arm because this has been the policy since 2010. Does he not notice anything around him?

As we said, Murdo, it was agreed with the Queen 9 years ago!

!f

Have you ever had a private audience of the Queen, Murdo? Awe well never mind. Maybe when whatever Rangers are called now win the Cup, huh?

Anyway, we look forward to the Mail’s apology in 5pt  type on page 42.

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NEVER MIND THE SOLEMNITY OF THE OCCASION, THE SNP ARE BAD, BAAAAD, I TELL YE!

akilt
I had managed to get through the early part of November this year without ranting about poppies and how the British state had commandeered them for nationalistic and political purposes. 
In the past I have been known to mention that, whilst the British state puts on a good show of caring about the fallen every year on the nearest Sunday to November 11, wearing the right clothes, looking suitably sombre and laying a wreath or two in Whitehall, they have been less caring when it came to stuff that didn’t get them on the front page of the newspapers and the first item on the BBC news.
We all know, and I won’t repeat them this year, dreadful stories of men (or women) returned from war who have, thanks to unimaginable experiences under orders, failed to reintegrate into civilian life, lost their jobs, lost their families, lost their health, mental and physical, and who have then been treated with none of the respect due to them by HM Secretary of State for Work and Pension and the British government in general.
Many have died, not from wounds inflicted by Her Majesty’s enemies, but by those inflicted by Her Majesty’s government.
So, having said I wouldn’t rant, I just did. Sorry.
akilt6
What brought it back to mind was that our old “friends”, the Queen’s man, Murdo Fraser, and the guy who was, after a drink or two, a guest of Her Majesty, the ignoble Baron, George ffoulkes, have apparently criticised Ian Blackford for showing up at the Cenotaph in London wearing a kilt and a dinner jacket and without the traditional (or what passes for traditional, among those and such as those) poppy.
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The sylph-like figure of the ignoble lord reposing on the red benches as he sleeps off lunch hic!
Incidentally, although I can’t get hold of ffoulkes’ tweet, as he has blocked me, I believe he referred to Ian in that noble way of his, as  “Billy Bunter Fatso”, which, when you consider the physique of ffoulkes himself, is delicious irony.
akilt8
Why is it that the royals, would-be royals and other self-important people have special poppies?
So, first of all, let’s deal with the small stuff.  The badge that he wore instead of the traditional poppy was reportedly a Scottish poppy badge. I’m not sure what the problem is.
Secondly, anyone who has ever had to take part in an occasion where royalty will be present knows perfectly well that you receive from the palace incredibly detailed instructions about what is and is not appropriate, in matters of dress, comportment, etc, ad infinitum. Mr  Blackford checked with the authorities. He was told that he must wear a black jacket with his kilt. He complied.
akilt3
Oh look, soliers in kilts.
But most importantly, ffoulkes and Fraser being singularly ignorant people, may not be aware of the fact that many Scots soldiers went to war wearing kilts. People of their “class” may think that the service of remembrance, like so much else in British life,  is about taking part in a fashion parade, putting on a show for the lower orders, or something.
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Goodness, more of them. You’d have thought they would have had the good grace to dress like proper Brits.

On the other hand, some people think of it as a genuine occasion for paying respect to people who died in the service of the country.

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‘Struth, these ill-dressed scallywags get everywhere.
What a bunch of cheap second-rate politicians, prepared to use ANYTHING to denigrate the SNP/Scotland, we have. They make you so ashamed.
akilt
I’ll leave you with the wise words of one of the guys I follow on Twitter.

If you’re indeed complaining about Kilts being worn on remembrance day, then that shows you have no concept of what the day is about, a total ignorance of history or the forces and your poppy is more of a fashion accessory than a mark of respect/remembrance. Do one!

Well said, Mr Taylor.

JAMIE AND HIS TWEET

This week we’ll find out if the have tipped Scotland into recession. Time to take off the table and start listening.

!£

So it seems that the Scottish economy grew at 0.8%. Hardly a startling figure, it has to be admitted, but it compares very favourably with the UK figure of 0.2%.

Of course, as always with these figures, it has to be remembered that both Scottish and English governments have input. In fact, that majority of levers for controlling the economy are held at Westminster. But the unfortunate tweeter, Jamie, was happy enough to blame an expected (by the Tories) downturn on the SNP, so it’s not unreasonable to expect him to now praise them for a performance from which his Tory counterparts in Westminster might well learn something.

aegg

And, just in the passing, we note from the illustration that the Scottish National health service has done so well that even the BBC had to admit that the rest of the UK could learn from it. Take a bow, Shona Robison. I’m not sure that Jeremy Hunt can share in that praise.

And since we are commenting on the news, it would be remiss of Munguin not to mention that the so-called (by Murdo Fraser, tweeter of this parish) her majesty’s Eleven has been found guilty (by her majesty’s supreme court) of trying to stuff her majesty’s treasury for rather a lot of tax. She must be particularly hurt by that, Murdo, with them being almost family!

It’s not been Rangers’ finest 24 hours. They lost 2-0 to Progres Niederkorn, a small team in the Luxembourg league. Part-timers, Niederkorn had never won a match in European competition before.

Maybe it’s retribution for stealing all that money from their most important supporter and Granny, Liz.

MESSAGE TO MURDO

I’m not at all certain that that is what we pay you £60,687 for. Maybe you should spend less time on that a bit more on reading up on economic theory, given that you are the shadow finance person in our parliament. It read that Ivan McKee made a bit of a fool of you in parliament in these matters.

Grateful thanks to Gerry for the clip of Mr McKee taking Murdo down.