Random Thoughts at the Tory Clutterf…. sorry, Conference

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NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THREATENING OUR PLACE IN THE SINGLE MARKET

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Remain’s tactics are now clear.

1. Urge the EU to hang tough

2. Oppose whatever deal is struck

3. Vote to suspend Article 50

4. Legislate for a second referendum with loaded rules

5. Harass Leave donors so that they don’t get involved again

A very British coup, wouldn’t you say?

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James Melville Retweeted Daniel Hannan

Brexiter tactics are now clear.

1. Have no workable plan for Brexit

2. Blame the EU

3. Blame Remainers

4. Cause economic catastrophe in the UK

5. Blame the EU

6. Blame Remainers

7. Destroy the Good Friday Agreement in Northern Ireland

8. Blame the EU

9. Blame Remainers.

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We apologise for the late arrival of Chris Grayling on stage at Tory party conference….😳

Chris Grayling, the English Minister for Late Trains and No Ideas About Borders, was more reliable than his transport this morning. He arrived only 6 minutes late for his speech at the Tory Party Mass Suicide, or Conference or whatever it’s called.

Some wisecrack commented… “this is because of a shortage of laughing stock in London”.

Another suggested a replacement bus service might be running…

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Not so sure about “Crack on”. This lot seem more likely to be “On Crack”!

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Image result for david mundell
Did you ever, in all your life, read such a load of utter crap?

Straight talking from ⁦⁩. Backing ⁦⁩ to get a Brexit Deal, saying no to second referendums and focussing on the issues that really matter to people in Scotland ⁦

As someone pointed out: “straight talking?  yeah, talking straight out of her arse”.

She said that we wouldn’t be allowed to have a referendum on independence for 10 years, despite having lied to us about almost everything the last time around. That’ll be the Tories with 25% of the seats in parliament and around a third of the MPs in the English place telling us what we can and can’t have.

Good luck with that, mate, especially when our properties have lost a third of their value, we don’t have any staff for hospitals or farms and we are queuing up for gruel, thanks to your half-baked policies.

In any case, how on god’s green earth would that fool know what issues really matter to the ordinary people of Scotland anyway?

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Random Thoughts

We won, we won: let’s smash up an ambulance to celebrate.

London Ambulance would like a help to identify this dozy item who thought that the best way to celebrate England’s victory over Sweden was to trash a rapid response ambulance, taking it off the road and out of action. Unfortunately, she was not alone in her stupidity and criminal vandalism. Report her if you know her.

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Image result for boris looking ridiculous short off
Boris giving what passes for deep thought as to how he can stuff Maybot

Mrs May managed to hold her fractious cabinet together on Friday night with a threat that anyone who voted against her could collect their redundancy money as they handed in their red boxes and chauffeured cars at the door. Not surprisingly, given that it is 41 miles back to London and the local taxi company has gone out of business, none of them did. And as Fluffy was clearing up the dirty dishes and heading for a night spent with Fairy Liquid, the rest of them rode back to London in their ministerial limos.

However, by Saturday, cracks were appearing in the coalition of crackpots, as Boris described  Mrs May’s plan as ” a turd”. (In my opinion that was rather praising it.)

So who, I hear you ask, is the new Foreign Secretary?

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Image result for esther mcvey
Esther McWhatsit.

Talking about people who need sacking, Munguin demands that we give official mention to the odious character, Esther McVey, and her lies about the National Audit Office’s report into Universal Credit. It seems to me that she is either an out and out liar or incredibly incompetent. Or, more probably, both.

She didn’t mislead parliament, she lied to it. Why is she still a Cabinet minister?

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oo
Not a beauty pageant then?

It’s the marching season. The time when the Orange Order marches to celebrate a battle which took place in July 1690 (I’m indebted to Panda Paws and Andi for the correct date). Yep, they are THAT up to date. But then, they only go back 6,000 years to the beginning of the universe.

These marches are frequently disruptive and aggressive in nature because their whole purpose seems to be to rub their ancient victory in the faces of the Catholics (against whom they won in the Battle of the Boyne.

One such march in Glasgow yesterday passed St Alphonsus Roman Catholic Church on London Road in the Barras. It did so just as members of the congregation were leaving the church.  Canon Tom White was spat upon and lunged at by a man with a pole and other members of the congregation were insulted.

Now, I am against banning people from marching, no matter how futile and stupid their marches may seem to me. However, all marches should be lawful and people behaving like savages shouldn’t be excused because they reckon that are doing it in their god’s name.

If these people want to march and can’t control their more boisterous elements, they must be kept away from places where they may be provoked into violence. Clearly, that must include religious institutions of any kind other than their own.

Orange Order members turned out for the Twelfth of July celebrations
Jeez, that flag clashes horribly with orange waistcoats. ‘Taste o’ an ingin” as my Gran would have said.

When there was an independence march in Glasgow a few weeks ago, Ruth Davidson condemned it because it was disruptive to the life of the city… roads had to be closed, and there was the expense of policing the march (on which, there was no trouble at all).  She has been remarkably silent about the various Orange Marches that have taken place in the last few weeks, including the one with her boss, Arlene, the deputy prime minister, in attendance.

Image result for arlene at OO march in scotland
Ewwww.

I wonder why that would be?

Of course, it is typical of the Tories in Scotland to rush out with a condemnation of anything, absolutely anything, that the SNP does, without for a second considering how it might come back and bite them on the backside (as the tablet story did this week).

And given the number of Ruth’s councillors who have been involved in racist behaviour (and in some cases sexual offences) this question of hers didn’t date well…

arutha
Probably slightly better than you do, matey.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

!5
Lead us, says Gordie, but from the rear, behind that big door there, in the cellar and never expect anyone to listen to anything you say, you stupid Jocks. How’s staying in the EU working out, Ruthie? And Theresa, maybe you want to have a word with Fluffy, you know other than “black with no sugar and a small rich tea”.
!6
Fluffs, when you finished washing up, maybe have a word with the Maybot. (It’s black with no sugar and a small rich tea, by the way.)
!7
P r o m o t i n g and P r o t e c t i n g, Fluffette. Jeez, you are SOOOOOO Bad at your job, aren’t you, poppet!
!c2a3mundel
Does anyone else remember that being mentioned before the referendum? Nah, nor me. It was just getting shot of the foreigners and the bus with the ludicrous promise splashed all over it. 
!dilusional
Och, Pauline, ya wee scone. You come and shout at me for marching next Saturday in Bannockburn. And if it makes you feel better, throw a wee hissy fit, then I’ll buy you a nice cup of tea and Munguin will tell you a story of how he became a media mogul… (Oh, and it was 90,000+ that time. Yer arithmetic’s fell dodgy.)
!DWP
Initiated by the odious creeps’ odious creep, Iain Duncan Smith of Betsygate fame, continued by successive DWP ministers and now delivered incompetently by this evil item.  As Stuart Campbell said, Incompetent and Evil. That’s quite a combination. Probably excellent qualifications for a job in the Tory Party. Oh wait…
!labour
Why are people always walking out on the Tories? Rhetorical question, folks. Oh, and what was it that Labour MPs were saying about the SNP walk out?
Atory
Now we know: Outlaw, Robber, Brigand.  Seems like a good place to exile them all to.

Over 5000 people have joined the SNP in the last few days. I’d like to say that we welcome you all. Together we can do this.

And finally, to those Scots, and folk around the world, (and very specially to Abu, who’ll be here in a few days), who are celebrating the end of Ramadan, Munguin and I wish you all ‘Eid Mubarak’.

AS MUCH USE AS AN UNDERWATER HAIR DRYER

Seriously, having changed the name of his department from “The Scotland Office” to  “The Office of the Secretary of State for Scotland”, a move for which I could see no particular reason except an excuse to spend money needlessly on the redesigned signage, paperwork etc, it would be nice to see him actually do something FOR as opposed to AGAINST Scotland.

However, even in his own constituency, he seems to have been content for the UK government to bribe Young’s, at a not insubstantial cost of £1.3 million, to leave Scotland for Hull.

 

He was a poor fish as a Minister of State for Scotland. As Secretary of State, he has been an utter liability.  I’m not sure that they ever discuss Scotland in Cabinet. I suspect that if they do, it’s when he’s away making the tea and fetching the results of the labours of Colonel British Bake Off.

LET’S LAUGH AT LOONIE BREXIT

corbyn
Which only goes to prove that they are as daft as each other.
bres1
So that Liam and Boris can fly around the world in luxury.
brex
‘Principle’, says David Davis! You have to giggle.
brex2
So, it’s odd then, Fluffs, that immediately England and Wales voted for it, it became a great opportunity for Scotland. How did that happen then, Pet?
brex1!
I supposed a burly man with 18 snarling dogs screamed that at you in the street, Ruth. Still, at least you weren’t pregnant at that time.
brexaf
Hmmmm… just at the time when we’ll be needing to home produce as much food as we can.
brexxi
Embarrassingly Colonel Davidson’s boss doesn’t seem to share her recently-adopted opinions that Brexit will be good for us.
brex123
Reported after David Davis made a speech in Germany.
bryng
The seriously sad thing is that, by the time any kind of serious arrangement with the EU is reached, a fair number of the people who voted for Brexit will no longer be around to enjoy it. In the meantime, the opportunities that had been available to them for 45  years of their lives will have been removed from younger people.

RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT SELF IMPORTANCE

The thing is, of course, that she DID resign in the end. Any danger you or Rudd will do the same thing, Tess… Nope, thought not.

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RuthD

Only, it seems no one even noticed you were there. You weren’t helping David with the tea and biscuits, were you?

ruthagain

Well, maybe Tessy doesn’t know. I mean she gets sod all else right, does she?

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!queen

This is an unashamedly republican blog. Royal families, titles, bowing and scraping, in our opinion, belongs in the history books, or in stories for children. 

I hope we don’t bore people by constantly going on about what an anachronism all royalty is and what an absolute anachronism British royalty is, but today I just got really angry with a greedy old woman who wants it all. (To be fair, over the next few months as the establishment pushes royal weddings and births in an effort to distract us from the utter chaos they are overseeing in Brexit, policing, immigration, pensions, health, education, welfare, Trump butt licking,  etc etc, there may be a little more royal scrutiny.)

The position of head of the Commonwealth is not hereditary. In theory, it is up to Commonwealth heads of government to decide who should be the next leader. However, today the greedy Windsors have made it clear that they don’t want any competition for the job and like so much else that no one else gets a look in to, this role should go to Prince Charles when the queen dies.

The Queen made it very clear that those were her wishes. She is backed by the British government, which still wants to appear to be in charge of something, even if it is as toothless as the Commonwealth. Commentators doubt very much if the Queen’s wishes will be denied her. So another title for the boys…

They already have it all… and they want to keep it that way. Their sense of entitlement sickens me.

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A TALE OF TWO (WELL, THREE) LEADERS

To paraphrase Mr Dickens, “It was the best of leaders”:

aleader

Oh, and again: “It was the worst of leaders”:

a leader1

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AH YES, THEN THERE’S RUTH…

Still, this bloke called her out for her lies.

If you have to make up stuff to criticise the government in Scotland, that sort of suggests to me that you can’t actually find anything that you can truthfully call them out on.

ax1ax2