PROTECTING RUTH DAVIDSON

Great piece of work here.

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FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, PESTMINSTER, GET A GRIP

So, who knows whether Liz knew about the fact that she was putting her money into offshore accounts; who knows if she knew that money was tied up in Bright Homes, the rip-off company for the very poor?

If she didn’t know (and it is said that she takes a great deal of interest in these matters so she probably did), then she should have. Certainly, the banks of advisors that we pay for should have told her and explained to her the risks she was taking.

Don’t you think that it is time for a look at how we finance this bunch of scroungers?

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Other news we saw concerning our lards and messers is that another Tory Whip, Chris Pincher, has reported himself to the police and to the party’s sleaze squad for being what his accuser described as a pound-shop Harvey Weinstein.

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The knives are out for Andrea Leadsom who dobbed in SIR Fall-on (yer sword) for being a dirty wee sod. And I have to admit it does seem a particularly sneaky thing to do at this time when she has sat on the whole thing for 6 years or so.  Still, when it comes to the Tories, you’d have to go a fair way before you find one that wasn’t sneaky and self-serving, and kicking a man when he’s down is pretty much expected.

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Talking of which, when the hell is Colonel Davidson, self-appointed Augean Stables Clearer in Chief, going to do something about the tweeting habits of Murdo Fraser. Having some time ago shown his football preference (and that of his queen) was Rangers and very definitely NOT Celtic (Remember the Queen’s Eleven), he has shown his preference over many a tweet. Nothing wrong with having a favourite team of course, but his burning hatred for Celtic seems to know no bounds.

Yesterday at the match at McDiarmid Park there was a minute’s silence for war dead. Murdo tweeted that fans had not respected the silence (or so he heard on the “wireless”), although fans from both sides said that it was absolutely respected. It seems that he was just trying to cause trouble. Isn’t there enough trouble at the moment, Murdo?

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£PROD-Gordon-Brown-and-Tony-Blair

 

And poor old Gordon Brown. He’s got a new book out and has been emoting all over the place about a wide range of issues. The latest ’emote’ has been his anguish over the Iraq War. (The other day it was how much he felt that the banks should have been made to pay for what they did in the lead up to 2008, when, if you’ll remember, he was the Chancellor and then the Prime Minister…so not entirely without power!). Anyway, the old duffer is now anguished about the Iraq war, which well he may be, given the consequences of that enormous folly. And, of course, he’s still banging on about his agreement with Blair, which Blair, ever the gentleman, broke.

I expect they have told him that he will sell more books if he gets a bit teary-eyed about stuff. So that’s fine.

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And it’s not all just happening at Pestminster. Mark McDonald, an education minister in Holyrood, has demitted office because of “inappropriate” behaviour. He says he might have been too “humorous or friendly”. I’m inclined to think that no one would be required to stand down from a job for being humorous or friendly. Make what you will of it.

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AMAYBLUNDER

Oh and lastly, that great friend that Mrs May invited to make a state visit, almost before the he had finished making his inauguration speech, has set his cap at bagging the privatisation of the Saudi Oil Company for New York, when the Brits hoped that it would go to London. The man who was going to be the UK’s greatest Brexit friend has (not unreasonably) gone for the massive prize of handling the Saudi deal knowing how much May wanted it.

If that’s her closest friend, what are her enemies going to do to her… Oh I forgot, they are a bunch of perverts, weirdos and cheats called the Tory Party and they are busily making her premiership the biggest nightmare since the one on Elm Street.

WHAT?

irony

a empirea empire1a empire2a empire3

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aruth1

Ruth Davidson says that the dam has broken. It is time for this to stop. Boys’ locker room talk. Objectifying women!

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aruth5

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a fluff
Seriously, ya roaster. We’re going to find out in the end.

 

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alab
Do try to keep up, erm, Dick.

 

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atory2
“We socialists”.

 

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aalc2

aalc

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Or is it just Munguin and me?

I CAN GO FOR ‘MILES’ IN A TAXI

aWatt_Maureen_MSPGovernment minister, Maureen Watt, who is 66 years old, travelled to give a talk about taking exercise and how good it was for your health. The distance between her office and the venue was just under a mile. She took a taxi and charged it to ministerial expenses. The cost to us was £4,68.

There were those who cried “hypocrisy”. After all, taking a taxi to a venue where you are giving a talk about physical fitness for health… Well, it does leave you open to criticism, at least from the hard of thinking.

Of course, there is no reason why she couldn’t have walked, but in fairness, it might have taken her half an hour or so, dressed, as she was, to give a talk.

Half an hour of ministerial time is worth a very good deal more than £4,68 in financial terms. I know that if I were in that situation my boss would prefer me to be at my desk instead of out for a stroll.

It is fair to mention too, that Ms Watt suffers from Asthma which might have slowed her progress. An ex-boss of mine, younger than Ms Watt by 10 years, suffered from asthma and was unable to walk very far (certainly not 0,9 miles) without recourse to a puffer. Perhaps not the handiest of situations when you are going to give a talk.

STV have made much of it and of course, there is no show without the Tories, who under the leadership of the Colonel would have yomped the distance in no time, dressed in camouflage gear and waving their automatics.

So it was left to the Scottish Conservative ‘shadow’ health secretary, Miles Briggs to put in his two pennyworth of erm… common sense: “This is another classic example of SNP hypocrisy,” he opined righteously.

“Clearly this minister thinks she can dish out lectures on an active lifestyle yet she sees it fit not only to take a miniscule taxi journey but charge taxpayers for the privilege.

“It’s time for SNP ministers to practice what they preach.”

Good one, Miles. Sharp as a tack and on the button doing your job as Conservative spokesperson on Health.

Or it would have been, except for the fact that Ms Watt isn’t the only one to claim a tiny taxi fair from the great Scottish public, is she Miles:

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As Munguin’s dear old Grandad would say… Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t cook in the nude.

Common sense, did old Miles say?

(Thanks to Dan Paris for the last illustration.)

 

 

TORY CONFERENCE TIME

 

a tory 2
This is all so confusing: “Centre”? “Social Justice”? Even “for” is a bit dubious in this context, unless followed by “oneself”
a tory snip
Apparently, the massive cost of policing this bunch of third-rate, z list reprobates is to be shouldered by the taxpayer (broad shoulders, you’ll remember). It’s only in Scotland that the UK government won’t pick up the tab for these jamborees.
a tory1
Busy?
a tory3
Just Tories at play. 
a tory
Drawing big crowds.
aruth4
In case you ever forget what kind of people they are…
ator mund
Fluffy got a record-breaking crowd. And little wonder. Can you imagine how riveting it must be to sit through a Muddle speech?
caconference
Preparation is everything. Mind you don’t cut your thumb, Govey. 
fire
Just in case that didn’t go in the first time. These are the people that shed a crocodile tear for the residents of Grenfel Tower.
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Fortunately, the ex-Labour MP Bomber Harris has returned to the Press (having found that his safe seat wasn’t, after all, safe) to keep a critical eye on, and a sharp tongue for, the Tories. “We Socialists…” How we laughed!”
A JACOB
Ah yes, what kind, indeed? A Tory leadership hopeful. Where there is money to be made, the conscience and religious sensibilities of the Rees-Moggs of this world go flying out the window.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

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It sounds a bit like “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”, but I remember my father saying something about politicians which went… “you play ball with me, and I’ll hit you over the head with the bat.”

That seems more likely to me. Be wary.

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ar

I see that after a protracted period of donning camouflage gear, hiding in the shadows and being uncustomarily camera shy, Ruth Davidson has emerged to explain to the BBC, and to us, why she has allowed the reinstatement of racist councillors.

 

arutha
Ooooops….

 

She says that everyone must be given a second chance; a chance to change their behaviour. I agree with her. People need a second chance. Even people who are late for m Jobcentre interviews. But it seems to me that the councillors are mature people and that to change their outlooks on race and homophobia, not to mention what is appropriate behaviour online, may take a little time.

aruth00

I think, had I been Ruth, I’d have seen how the training was going before I welcomed these people back into the fold. But that’s me, and I’m not a Tory.

Oh, and now Ruth, then there’s this MP chappie who made a racist comment today about Travellers and inspired this email from a young traveller. Best get him in for a session on views… and while you’re on it, there’s always Murdo.

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You’ve got some right charmers in your party, haven’t you?

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a!

She might, while she’s in the mood to speak out,  like to apologise for this. After all, Scots voted to stay in the UK union and to stay in the European union. I certainly know some who changed their mind about independence for Scotland when they were told they would be thrown out of the EU and would find themselves a small country on the edge of Europe, all alone, with no trading partners, apparently waiting in a (non-existent) queue for EU membership.

Then, because we were not independent, Scotland’s substantial vote to remain in the EU was overturned by a very marginal vote in England to leave the EU.

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The broad shoulders of the union spat that one back in our faces. We’ve got Darling’s “best of both worlds” sitting here alone and scrambling around for a trade deal, any trade deal, with Donald J Bloody Trump.  Still, Alistair is now a right honourable and noble aristocrat with a great job for life. So all the travails won’t bother him. Privilege of Peerage, don’t you know?

Thanks, Ruth. Your lies facilitated this.

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a thick

These broad shoulders don’t half cost a lot when it comes to getting about. So grateful to be part of the United Kingdom.

Labour seems to be determined to blame the SNP for the fact that we have a privatised railway system in Scotland. And that ScotRail is operated by a Dutch company.

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The Scottish government, following the Smith Commission, was granted powers to award rail franchises to public sector organisations in the 2016 Act (too late for the last bidding process). Humza is preparing a government bid for a future bidding process.

It strikes me, though, that Labour’s 1997 manifesto for the Uk contained a promise to renationalise the railways which never came to pass when they won… and in the 13 years that they were in power.

Odd that! But in the meantime:

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bre7

In view of recent discussions about GERS, I thought you might be interested in this article that Iain sent me.

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brex

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Oh and lastly, but not leastly, this gem…

aboris

But, but….

From the office of the prime minister of the UNITED kingdom of England and its lesser possessions and territories

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Dear Nikolas,

We were very tolerant towards your lesser self in the early stages of our taking over the top job at the centre of the Empire at No 10 Downing Street, London ENGLAND. We think we may even have done you the honour of visiting you in your bedsit at Bute Cottage in Aberburgh, although, of course, we do not recall.

However, following our tremendous and spectacular General Election victory,  and now that we have grown in stature in our position as triumphant leader of OUR United Kingdom and become close to world statesmen such as Mr Netenyahu and Mr Erdogan, not to mention HRH Excellency Trump and His Majesty King Salman, we feel that further discussion with a junior minister of a mere district would be inappropriate. Besides which, as I am now busily (and successfully) engaged in a red, white and blue Brexit, which means Brexit (including for your district) so that Britain can take back control of everything from the foreigners who are out to get us British people, I’m simply too busy to be bothered with inferiors.

It has been decided, therefore, that if you have anything that you wish to discuss with your superiors here at Empire Central, in our great capital city of London, you should address those matters with the Rt Hon David Mud… Mund… well, you know who I mean, and of course, if you can find her (she seems to have gone walkabout since Ms Arlene and I struck up a friendship) the Rt Hon and Gallant Lady, Colonel Davidson. Alternatively, you may try to approach the Noble Lord Duncan in his Baronial Castle, although I understand that he doesn’t much like commoners. A curtsey is appropriate.

You will not, any longer, be allowed to address yourself directly to us personally, and we intend to instruct the queen that she is no longer to grant you an audience, but must hold herself always in readiness for any occasion on which we wish to have a photo-opportunity with her, or get her to open our parliament.

Do not let any of that make you feel any less important than you already are.

Rule Britannia. God save the Queen and Theresa May

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Her Britannic Empr ,  sorry, Prime Ministerialness

Signed per pro

in her absence.

(Note to Cabinet Secretary: Send same sort of thing to that Welsh blokey, and the people in IOM, Channel Islands, and Gibraltar, Falklands and the rest of my empire. DO NOT ON ANY ACCOUNT SEND TO BELFAST on pain of death.)