CONGRATULATIONS TO DROSS

If you only have one day as First Minister (titters) and your first priority is to get tough on ‘Gypsy Travellers’, what does that make you?

If you find it hard to answer that, you may wish to reflect on some of his other decisions previously mentioned on this blog:

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So, he doesn’t like “Gypsy Travellers” nor does he like gay rights, or indeed any other human rights and he doesn’t believe in equality.

He also doesn’t like the EU, and despite the Scottish people voting relatively strongly to remain in the EU, he doesn’t want their parliament to have any say in negotiations on them being the only nation in the UK being dragged out of Europe against their will.

He also doesn’t want the Scottish parliament to have any more powers. That is interesting as what it really means is that he wants the London parliament, which is a predominantly Engish parliament, to decide stuff for Scotland, rather than the Scottish parliament, which is an exclusively Scottish affair.

He’s against taxing banks which make massive profits and which only 10 years ago cost us so incredibly dearly…every one of us. He seems, too, to be a climate change denier, which is, if you don’t mind me saying so, a pretty dumb thing to be.

So what is he for, you might well ask.

Well clearly, he wants the NHS reformed and I’m guessing that means sold off to whoever will pay most for it, regardless of what they do with it. And he is keen to reduce the services you get from your local council and hopes to do this by reducing their funding.

All-in-all, he sounds like a right nasty piece of work. 

Of course, he cannot actually take any part in running Scotland at the moment, because he isn’t an MSP. So, presumably, his deputy will be running things until such time as he makes the top of the list somewhere where he will certainly be elected. After all, that is what deputies do, isn’t it?

Wings Over Scotland | Drowning the baby
Leave him in my capable hands, Boris!

That would have made for some entertaining exchanges at First Minister’s Questions, but it seems, alas, that that entertainment is to be denied us.

Because, I can only imagine that Annie has her hands full with other things, although what exactly, I’m not sure, unless it’s her friend from their holiday, erm I mean fact-finding trip, in Israel.

Because it is rumoured that we are to be paid an inestimable honour. Yes, the Right Honourable, Noble and Gallant Aristocrat has stepped up to the plate to save Annie some time in her, …erm busy, …erm schedule. 

Ruth Davidson quits as Scottish Conservative leader - BBC News
Right Dross, I’m on it, we soon ride roughshod through that Scottish parliament and put the boot in.

Amazingly, Her Aristocraticness’s situation must have changed since that Blue Blood transfusion, and suddenly she has found herself capable of being an MSP, running FMQs, attending to her aristocratic duties in London, like a proper Lady, and looking after her son, which only a few short months ago was the only thing she could find time for.

Of course, with her elevation, it is possible she has managed to engage a nanny. Mr Rees Mogg had one going spare, I heard.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I understand that “The Sun” is reporting that Boris Johnson called Nicola Sturgeon “that bloody Wee Jimmie Crackie woman”. (No link to the article because I won’t be a party to their clickbait.) Of course, you can’t entirely believe anything you read in the Sun, but it sounds like his unprofessional style. The kind of thing you’d expect from a 12-year-old.

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This you can believe.

Derek Mackay has resigned as Cabinet Secretary for Finance.

It appears he had been texting a 16-year-old lad and offering him dinner over a six-month period.

As the lad was 16, Derek was doing nothing illegal. In Scotland, you can leave school, get married, have children and vote at 16.

But for heaven’s sake, what a bloody stupid thing to do.

We all know that the Press is against us and that they put a huge effort into finding anything unpleasant they can headline on their front pages.

The Sun has it splashed over 9 pages on this, so presumably, they have been working on it for a while. It will take a bit of living down!

What on earth possessed such an intelligent and otherwise competent man to indulge himself like this?

As Ruth Wishart put it: “Another self-immolation by a politician with no shortage of talent but an all too slender grasp of judgement”.

He’s let us down badly.

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It is said that Ruth Davidson is to be offered a seat in the House of Lords.

The Edinburgh Central MSP has been selected alongside former Chancellors Ken Clarke and Philip Hammond    picture: GettyImages

So just a day after wee Carlot Jackson was hobnobbing with the Duke of Rothsay at Buck House, to collect his CBE, his predecessor is preparing to join Baroness Moan of Mayflower in teh Isle of Man on the red benches, collecting £300 a day and stack of “get out of jail free” cards.

Democracy, huh?

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I read that Wee Sniffy Gove may be appointed to lead the arrangements for the Climate Change summit in Glasgow.  The vacancy came about when Johnson sacked the previous incumbent, former environment minister, Claire O’Neill, without notice, for complaining that he had failed to carry out any of his promises in regard to the conference.

We all know that in most things Johnson does, promises are piecrusts and details are doughnuts. He says stuff. He walks away. He forgets everything.

Ms O’Neill has, subsequently, spent days speaking to the Press about how incompetent Johnson is,  how little he understands the subject and bemoaning the lack of progress that has been made in organising this massive international event.

David Cameron has apparently refused to take on the job, as has William Hague, both citing other commitments, possibly money-making ones (or more likely a desperate desire not to be stuck in Scotland for most of the year).

Grouse Beater on Twitter wrote, “Michael Gove is tipped to be appointed the new president of the UN climate summit to be held in Glasgow because, being a Scot, he is *well-liked* north of Gretna Green.”

Ye, I thought you’d like that!.

If possible, an even less likeable candidate, Michael “Something of the Night” Howard has also been proposed. Why not go the whole hog and invite Ann Widdicombe, his bête noire?  If it all goes horribly wrong she can always give us a tango or quick step! After that, even a catastrophic conference would fade into the mists of insignificance.

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With eight months to go, it seems like a huge task for whoever will take it on, particularly as they will be organising it in Scotland and, whether they like it or not, they need to liaise with Edinburgh about arrangements.

Given the current state of relations between London and Edinburgh, and in particular, between Johnson and Nicola, this is proving to be difficult.

You’ll remember that Johnson said that he didn’t mind if there were one of two Saltires at the conference but he wanted the place to be a sea of union flags and that he didn’t want to see Nicola Sturgeon there.

Bless him. How little he understands…  anything!

Nicola responded that she had been at the last three climate summits by invitation of the UN and that she WOULD be at this one. Of course, she can’t control the flags… but we can, and I have no doubt that Glasgow will be a sea of blue and white and that Back-Door Johnson will get the welcome he has come to expect when he appears in public in Scotland, which may cause him a little embarrassment with the world’s press in attendance.

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STRUTH RUTH…

True, true, Ruth.

You got out in the nick of time with some lame excuse about being too busy looking after your bairn to be doing all these surgeries and constituency work (although you do have time for making radio programmes and you wouldn’t have had time to be a PR consultant, if only you hadn’t been such bad news for the consultancy that was going to employ you).

So, no. You didn’t lose a third of your seats. or, indeed, any seats. You are but a humble constituency MSP.

But Jack the Car (you know, the one you said, only the other day, was doing such a cracking job), managed to lose a bit over half your seats…53.8% actually. So he did better at losing than Nicola, by some way.

Nicola, on the other hand, increased her seats from 35 to 46 (an increase of 31%) or 47 if you include the suspended-SNP MP who was on the ballot paper as SNP (an increase of 34%).

Nicola is now the one with 47 (or 48) out of 59 seats… and your lot are the ones with, erm… 6.

RUTH DAVIDSON, THE POUNDSHOP ANNABEL GOLDIE

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Today, at FMQs, Nicola Sturgeon pointed out to Jackson Carlaw, that the party couldn’t have much confidence in him if they were still using Ruth Davidson’s name in their election literature (which they are).

Davidson, probably without giving it any thought, tweeted:

Ruth Davidson
@RuthDavidsonMSP
· 6h
Nicola Sturgeon: the last person on earth who should be talking about political predecessors. 

I’m thinking that she must be referring to Alex Salmond, Nicola’s predecessor as First Minister.

OK, so he was a pretty good first minister, who ran an effective minority government for 4 years (without the aid of a taxpayer-funded bribe), and then managed to win a majority in a system designed specifically to prevent that outcome.

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(This is particularly interesting given that, in a system designed to provide one of the two main UK parties with large majorities on a small percentage of the vote, most of the governments in London over the past 10 years have been coalitions, dependent on bribed partners, or minority governments unable to get any work done and hence obliged to seek yet another General Election.)

As senior politicians go, Mr Salmond comes out quite well certainly by comparison with his English counterparts.

So what else could she be referring to?

Well, it seems to me that the PR company with which Davidson had a job (until she didn’t), had a narrow squeak. Because we can only assume that she is making reference to Mr Salmond’s upcoming trial. And if so, that is a humdinger of a mistake.

As Peat Worrier pointed out:

PeatWorrier
@PeatWorrier
Alex Salmond has been charged with two counts of attempted rape, nine sexual assaults, and two indecent assaults. The case remains active – and undecided. For anyone to treat it as some kind of comic political football really is beneath contempt.

Scottish Tories – named and anonymous – have been talking about this prosecution with an ugly relish for months now. It is, I think, a terrible look. This isn’t some kind of political game and serious people contemplating this serious process ought to understand that.

The way I understood Scots Law was that a person was considered to be innocent until shown to be otherwise.

A defendant goes into court an innocent man or woman, and it is the job of the prosecution to prove his/her guilt.

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Of course, Peat Worrier knows a good deal more than I do. Him being a lawyer. So, indeed, would have Annabel Goldie, also a lawyer. I just can’t see her making that kind of mistake.

So what on earth was Davidson doing talking about Alex as if she had some knowledge of the outcome?

We know she opened her silly mouth and let the cat out of the bag with postal votes at one time, an offence in itself.

Not only is she indiscrete, but she doesn’t learn a lesson.

It is probably sensible and for the best that she is leaving politics.

INDEPENDENCE FOR THE SCOTTISH TORY BRANCH OFFICE?

WHAT A DAY!

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And so it kicked off with some archaic language. That’s the British way.

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Then we were reminded of this:-

So, I suspect that we expect Mr Hancock’s resignation as Secretary of State for Health and Social Care in England. I wonder who will replace him.

Oh and these ones too!

Not to mention Rudd.

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The Scottish Conservatives were unable to find their leader who is usually so available to the press.

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Shy and retiring, Ruth hates publicity.

Her Office said that she would not be doing interviews today.

I suppose that they thought that her usual “SNP Bad” speel was a bit feeble, so they put up the absent-minded professor. I say absent-minded because, when he was a law professor he railed against the use of the royal prerogative as an abusive form of arbitrary power. Using it to shut down parliament is surely the most abusive thing you can do with it. He seems to have forgotten all that.

Still, he’s a Tory…what did you expect?

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UPDATE

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While I was writing this, Ruth Davidson appears to be on the verge of resigning as branch leader, citing pressures of motherhood and being at odds with Johnson.

Respect where it is due. Although, maybe there’s a lesson in THIS somewhere…

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Nicola had that to say. It’s no exaggeration nor is it hyperbole.

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ORDERS APPROVED AT THE PRIVY COUNCIL HELD BY THE
QUEEN AT BALMORAL ON 28TH AUGUST 2019

COUNSELLORS PRESENT

The Rt Hon Jacob Rees-Mogg (Lord President)
The Rt Hon Baroness Evans of Bowes Park
The Rt Hon Mark Spencer

Privy Counsellors

Two Orders appointing The Lord Ashton of Hyde and James
Cleverly TD MP Members of Her Majesty’s Most ?Honourable?
Privy Council.

Prorogation Order proroguing Parliament no earlier than Monday 9th
September and no later than Thursday 12th September 2019 to
Monday 14th October 2019, and directing the Lord High
Chancellor of Great Britain to prepare a Commission accordingly.

Question. Why is James Cleverly being made a Privy Councilor? Only last week he was involved in an accident while using his mobile phone! That’s a criminal offence, isn’t it? Honourable? …Not a lot!

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Suggestions are that this may make the queen rather unpopular, which is unjust as she really had no option but to agree to what her government and the privy councillors advised.

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So, is it time that Harry and Miss Marple had another kid for us to support.

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I’m sure more interesting stuff will emerge as the day continues… Feel free to update in the replies!

 

THE NIGHT OF THE LONG KNIVES

!dAVID
AYE, WELL.
Among the many others to bite the dust this afternoon, is our own, little-loved, now EX governor-general. Apparently this despite advice of Ruth Davidson who had asked the new prime minister to spare him. Presumably, this is why he didn’t have the sense to resign while resigning was a possibility, like Rory and Hammond. He presumably thought, like Ruth, that she had influence. 
Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson and Scottish Secretary David Mundell at an Edinburgh press conference thursday..Pic Gordon Terris/The Herald.16/3/17.
Awwwwwwwwwwww…
According to the Herald, Mr Johnson’s move threatens to deepen his rift with Scottish Tory leader, who had made it abundantly clear that she wanted Mr Mundell, 57, to remain in post.
So now we know what Boris thinks of the Colonel.
It also indicates to Munguin, that possibly Boris has his own man ready in place to put in the governor-general’s post.
He has rewarded others who campaigned for him during the contest, so why not for the position of Scottish Secretary.
Now, out of the Scottish MPs, who would be most likely to have impressed BoJo?
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Oh yes, Ross “vodka goes better with Coke” Thomson.
Other sacked second-raters include: Failing Grayling (well, you can kinda understand that one), some people called Hind and Noakes of whom I’ve never heard.
Scarily, Dominic Rabb is Foreign Secretary and Preti Patel is Home Secretary.
Lower down the ladder, but equally capable of making a huge mess, is Andrea Leadsom at Business (can you imagine her organising companies to be ready in 99 days for a no-deal Brexit?)
Liz Truss is back in the cabinet too, taking over from DOCTOR Fox, who, as he has been in the past, was a complete joke as Trade Secretary.
Villiers is back, as Environment Secretary.
More will be revealed, I expect, as the night wears on. There’s an updating page here, if anyone is that interested.

SO, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

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Boris Johnson is Prime Minister

What to say?

Well, let’s start off with the president of the United States. It wouldn’t be surprising for a man in his position to congratulate a newly elected leader of an ally. Nicola Sturgeon has done so (see below). But Trump added: “He’ll be great”. Erm, no he won’t Donny.

Then there was Ruth, who has kept an incredibly low profile since she backed, very publicly. Sajid and Gove just before they crashed out

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Seemingly unmindful that her constituency and her country voted to stay in the EU, her priorities are to slap Nicola Sturgeon down and prevent Jeremy Corbyn getting into government in England.

Seemingly a no-deal Brexit is no longer any kind of priority for her. 

Ho-hum. Then there’s…

 

  • David Mundell
    @DavidMundellDCT

 

I congratulate Boris Johnson on his clear win in the leadership contest. Our party must now unite behind the new leader and Prime Minister, so we can get on with the job of delivering Brexit, whilst maintaining a strong United Kingdom.
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Mr Mundell has been vocal in the past, not only about how disastrous leaving the EU would be for the country of which he is some sort of governor-general, but also quite clearly stating on Twitter on several occasions that he could not work with Boris Johnson and would not serve under him.
David Mundell, December 2018: “Given my views about Mr Johnson which are well known, [serving in his cabinet] would be extremely difficult. “Mr Johnson and I don’t agree on a whole range of issues and I don’t see myself being able to serve in that way.”
As usual with Mundell, however, it appears to be a load of p*ss and wind, as there is absolutely no mention of his resignation in Mundell’s tweets today. At least so far.
But Ross Thomson has been Mr Johnson’s campaign manager in Scotland, and Ross is nothing if not ambitious.
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Maybe Fluffy won’t need to resign.
Adam Tomkins also chipped in with his twopenny worth of sycophancy. No priority for a sensible Brexit, never mind doing what the bulk of Scotland voted for and scrapping it. Oh no. The only thing the Tories seem to care about is maintaining their chance of a seat in the House of Lords

Adam Tomkins MSP
@ProfTomkins
Congratulations to

 His job now is to safegaurd (sic) the Union from the three people who, in their different ways, would destroy it: Sturgeon, Corbyn and Farage.

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Nicola had the good manners to congratulate him but went on to make it clear that she had priorities which, unlike the Tories’, included trying to protect Scotland from a catastrophic Brexit. Odd that!

Nicola Sturgeon
@NicolaSturgeon

1. Congratulations to Boris Johnson on his election as leader of the Conservative Party. Despite our many differences, I will do all I can to develop a way of working with him that respects and protects Scotland’s views and interests.
2. However, it would be hypocritical not to be frank about the profound concerns I have at the prospect of his premiership. I am certain that the vast majority of people of Scotland would not have chosen to hand the keys of No 10 to someone with his views and track record.
3. Most immediately I, the Scottish government and the SNP

will work with others to do everything we can to block his plan for a no-deal Brexit – which would do catastrophic harm to Scotland.
4. And I will continue to advance the preparations to give Scotland the right to choose our own future through independence, rather than having a future that we don’t want imposed on us by Boris Johnson and the Tories. That is now more important than ever.
Boris-Offensive-Cartoon
I suspect there will be much to say, some funny, and some tragic, over the next few weeks…  But let’s take a break now with a few words from someone who worked for him…

Laura Murray 

When I was 21 I worked for 2 years in the Mayor of London’s press office while the Mayor of London was Boris Johnson. He was incompetent, chaotic, lazy and genuinely seemed to not give a shit about anything at all. Possibly the worst type of person to be our Prime Minister.

WELL, IN THE LEADERSHIP CONTEST THAT NO ONE REALLY CARES A FIG ABOUT…

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THE LESS ACCEPTABLE CANDIDATE WON

Still, the Tories should be pleased. They have one of their own in a position of “power” (relatively speaking).

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I’m not 100% sure how it will work out for her, what with her being a Scottish MP and therefore unable to vote on the bulk of the legislation that passes through the Commons. Health, Education, Law and Order, Transport… will all be out with her remit. And while she can take part in debates on these matters, she can’t vote on them unless the Speaker rules that there is a consequence for Scotland.

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Many MPs might think that she will have little authority to express opinions and develop policies on matters which will not affect her constituents.

Unless, of course, Boris* wants to take these matters back into his, erm capable, erm hands in London.

(*Other possible leaders are available at much-discounted rates.)

 

 

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Now, in the leadership contest that actually counts, we’ll know the result by this time tomorrow.

And, if as we suspect, Hunt (the one who is just as bad as Boris, but without the comic relief), loses, there are rumours that Ruth has plans to set up her own Scottish Conservative Party, you know, like Murdo suggested when he stood against her all these years ago and she utterly rejected, because Dave told her to.

This article was, of course, originally published in the Daily Mail’s Scottish edition,  and is, therefore, linked with attendant caveats.

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But you can’t help wondering if this wouldn’t have the effect of further splitting the Conservatives in Scotland. There are already those who are 100% behind Brexit, no matter the cost. How could these Tories (I know one) get behind a Euro-friendly Scottish party? And wouldn’t they think it pandering to the dreaded “separatism”

Ahhh…with Boris, I doubt that life will ever be dull.