WE WANT TO BE OUT, BUT WE WANT TO BE IN

IN OUT, IN OUT, SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT

I can't believe that after supporting #UKfisheries and #coastalcommunities, @BorisJohnson will abandon them to unchecked #EU control for 11 months. With less than two weeks to go before #Brexit, it is paramount we have an oversight mechanism on EU fisheries policy. pic.twitter.com/FG1SR8NKyJ

— June Mummery (@june_mummery) January 21, 2020

You think I’m joking, but in fact, she is for real.

No really, she’s not a stand-up comedienne, she’s a <snigger> politici… Nah, I can’t say it.

What did she think would happen?

I mean she wasn’t daft enough to believe that we could have our cake and eat it, or that we held all the cards, or that there were no downsides to Brexit, surely?

I’ve always thought of leaving the EU as being a bit like leaving a golf club (not that I’ve ever been anywhere near a golf club).

So, you’re in the Trumpy golf club; you decide to leave. Fair enough… but you’re going to stay in for as long as your last year’s subscription lasts, maybe till you find another club to take you.

But then, after that, you propose that, although no longer a member, you’d like to maybe come in one afternoon a week and play a round with your buddies.

Oh, and perhaps have a few drinks at the bar of a Friday evening.

Perchance bring your other half in for a meal on a Saturday from time to time.

Maybe even have your kids’ Christmas party in the function room, like you’ve always done.

But you make it clear that you do not recognise the authority of the Management Committee, and have no intention of following their silly rules.

Maybe Bullingdon Boys are so used to trashing restaurants that it doesn’t occur to them that normal people do follow other people’s rule?

 

Oops, there’s been another Murdo!

 

The inimitable Murdo Fraser, the scourge of, well, nothing much really… has commented on the decision of the Green Party to withdraw their candidates from the North East Fife and Perth and North Perthshire elections, in order, presumably, to give Steven Gethings (majority 2) and Pete Wishart (majority 21) a better chance of winning.

It was a very generous gesture, but also a sensible one.

There was no realistic chance of the Green candidates winning and a vote which was split along independence/dependence lines could well have let in a unionist.

Murdo wrote:

@murdo_fraser

· 4h

Just in case there was any lingering doubt that the ‘Greens’ are now a wholly-owned subsidiary of the SNP… twitter.com/torcuil/status…

Unfortunately, his equally-dismal colleague, Annie Wells, had, over the last few days, spearheaded a campaign for Labour in Scotland to join with the Tories where appropriate to keep the SNP out.

“Kettle”,  “pot” and “black arse” are words that come readily to mind.

Worse still for poor old Murdo, it appears that Nigel Farage (possibly soon Sir Nigel or Lord Farage, if he is to be believed) has stood down his candidates in any seat where there is an incumbent Tory leaver (over 300), thus vastly improving Conservative chances in the election.

Poor old Murdo now has to work out whether the Tories are a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Nigel Farage Party, or the other way round.

That should keep him out of mischief for the rest of the campaign.

I loved this tweet from Crow Esquire:

@CrowSaorAlba1

Replying to

@murdo_fraser

In comedy timing is everything. Look how this clown tweets this on the same day that the Tories became a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Brexit Party.

Murdo for stand-up champion of the year.

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OH DEAR, IT’S ALL BECOME RATHER COMPLICATED

I see too, that Brexiteers have criticised the Archbishop of Canterbury for getting involved in Brexit by offering to chair citizens’ panels in an effort to stop a NO DEAL Brexit. Note, not to stop Brexit per se, just the No Deal version.

What they may have forgotten is that their primary aim was to take back control from Brussels.

Now, I appreciate that almost undoubtedly a lot of that control will be passed very swiftly to the President of the United States in return for a trade deal. (It has already been suggested that America will expect Britain to take a different stance, ie America’s not Europe’s, on matters such as Iran and Jerusalem being the capital of Israel. Who knows what else may be up for discussion in the bartering process? Quite a lot, I suspect.)

But I digress. The Brexiteers presumably fondly imagine that much of the control that is taken back will end up in the hands of their own dear politicians in London. And some of it will.

So, perhaps now would be a good time to remind them that, playing his part in that great British democracy that they value above all else, the Archbishop of Canterbury, along with the Archbishop of York and twenty-plus senior Church of England bishops is entitled to sit in the House of Lords. The Lords Spiritual.

He is, in fact, a politician.

One of only three countries in the world to include clerics in their governing councils (the other two being the Vatican City State and Iran), senior English bishops are entitled to sit in the second chamber, with all the honours thereto attached.

So, dear Brexiteers, Lord Welby has every right, indeed some might say that it is his duty, to intervene. This is the great British democracy you guys craved so badly.

Suck it up!

Oh, and it wouldn’t be a tale of two principles if our Ruth wasn’t a part of it. 

Just one more thing. Why is Mr Goodlad ‘Ruth Davidson’s candidate’? Why is he not the Conservative candidate? He surely couldn’t be ashamed to be in the same party as Boris, could he? 

Electoral Calculus reckons that Nigel could be the PM after the next PM

Electoral Calculus (Tweet)

Did you know? that @YouGov poll results are a bit different from the other pollsters: they see #LibDem ahead of #Labour. If that’s right, and they were quite accurate at the EU elections, then a YouGov-only poll of 4 polls gives this forecast: (link: https://twitter.com/ElectCalculus/status/1141982642616852480/photo/1) pic.twitter.com/wPiPzzDSmX

 

That result seems a bit extreme to me, but it is an amalgam of four polls so although I take the results with a pinch of salt, I reckon it indicates great changes in the UK.

It seems to me that “Taylor” on Twitter, has it about right here:

Taylor

@dtaylor5633

·

2h

The next UK government will be formed by Farage and the Brexit party If that’s not enough incentive for Scotland to go independent then I dunno what is Let’s get a move on before rUK drags us down the sewer.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Today in Newcastle, England, someone threw a milkshake over Mr Farage’s expensive suit. And some Remainers are celebrating this.

But not Tris or Munguin. Are we alone in this?

The way to win political arguments is by having strong counter-arguments to offer, not soaking people in milk, no matter what flavour.

Seriously, many people had a laugh about it because, among Remainers, Nigel Farage is a hate figure, a bit ridiculous and well… it serves him right.

Fair enough. But, apart from giving people a laugh, what has this action done?

Well first, it seems to be the main story everywhere. The Twittersphere is humming with it. But I’ve yet to see social media mention of the fact that the Electoral Commission is looking into the financing of Mr Farage’s new party, although to be fair it is being covered by the old media.

James O’Brien

If I was worried about a former Prime Minister expressing fears about my new ‘party’ laundering dirty foreign money, I would probably pay someone to lob a milkshake at me & hope that the relatively trivial story distracted attention from the profoundly serious one.

So, intentional or not, there it is: people are talking about the milkshake and not about the possible criminality.

Secondly, covering someone, even Farage, in milkshake, is violence. And no matter how satisfying it is to see, it’s simply increased the likelihood of retaliatory violence from his supporters, and they might not use milkshakes.

Added to which, at the moment it has given him victim status.

And thirdly, how many people will it have persuaded to change their votes on Thursday? Well, probably none at all… but if any, it will have persuaded them the wrong way.

I can see why people think it is amusing, and in a way it is, so I don’t want to fight about it, but in my opinion, it will be counterproductive.

**********

That was then…

…and this is now

 

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

If Iran wants to fight, that will be the official end of Iran. Never threaten the United States again!

9:25 PM · May 19, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

 

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…

**********

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Thanks to Craig Dempsey on Twitter for this.

++++++++++

Well, that’s one you won’t be able to scare us with this time… and we won’t believe you about B & Q, either. They threatened to stop investment if we left and when we didn’t they shut a pile of stores anyway.

++++++++++

If Michael Gove is the next Tory leader, he intends to take back control… not just from Europe, but from Scotland. So maybe we can look forward to joining England with 58.1 doctors per 100,000 of the population!

He does seem to think that London should take back control of everything. I wonder if he has a Queen Victoria complex, or maybe that’s his wife!

++++++++++

❌ Ruth Davidson and the Scottish Conservatives aren't putting forward one single policy or idea because actually, they don't have any. #FMQs pic.twitter.com/4yAQMLnMux

— The SNP (@theSNP) May 9, 2019

To be fair, according to Gove, they do have a policy. It is to take money away from the devolved governments (steal it) and spend it on our behalf (but if agriculture is anything to go by, not necessarily in the devolved nations).

++++++++++

So talking about the Tory leadership contest which is surely only a few weeks away, what do Munguinites think? Will it be Batshit Boris or Awful Andrea, Ghastly e Gove…or who?

Could it even be Egregious Esther, who has confirmed that she has received sufficient support to warrant putting her name in the hat?

Well, we’re talking the Tories! Anything is possible…even her, god help us.

David Mundell will NOT stand for Tory leadership.

The Scottish Secretary @DavidMundellDCT tells @petermacmahon 'I'm not throwing my hat into the ring' pic.twitter.com/fYkG0WSsTV

— Representing Border (@ITVBorderRB) May 9, 2019

To save himself further embarrassment, Dreadful David has ruled himself out.

No matter how bad it is, remember, the more ridiculous and extreme, the more likely we are to break free.

++++++++++

It’s fair to say that, no matter how underfunded the NHS is in Austerity Britain, it is still one of the few things in the UK that is pretty universally popular. It is, therefore, as Sir Humphry would have said, “courageous” of Nigel to suggest it should be funded by private insurance, just as he is heading into an election.

++++++++++

Ah, he probably thinks that Scotland is just a shooting estate… and shooting estates don’t have football teams of any gender!

++++++++++

DEAR ANN WIDDECOMBE

I think I’m done with Brexshit for the day!
In one word only…. your response to this clip.
Best one wins a date with Ann Widdecombe😳
Good night and god help us!pic.twitter.com/0aCKTk3SJk

— Andy #FBPE #FreeNazanin (@SurreyAmps) April 30, 2019

Or should that read, “OH dear, Ann Widdecombe”?

The  best response, I reckon, came from Mr Walton, who commented on the Twitter post, thus:

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗼𝗻 

@channingwalton

“We didn’t know what we voted for”. Show us the plan you voted for. then!

We all must know people who voted “Leave” for wildly different visions of the future, which some politician or another promised.

Because there was no coherent plan for leave. No one in government thought for a minute that it was going to happen. And David Cameron, throughout the campaign, refused to make even the smallest preparations for leaving.

So what you had was a series of ideas put forward by a series of people who were not in government and never would be. Might as well have asked a member of the cast of a pantomime.

Or a contestant on “Strictly Come Dancing”.

Ah, yes… well, OK…

The current state of the two main UK parties and the impasse, about which we have talked endlessly, and which is still ongoing, in the London parliament proves that even 3 whole years after the referendum they still can’t agree on what “leave” means.

How could people have known it would turn out like this?

++++++++++

I had hoped to get to Glasgow for the march on Saturday, but domestic duties have got in the way, I’m sad to say.

I was hoping to meet up with folk that I’ve known for so long, but never met, and some I’ve only just encountered.

But, if any other Munguinites are going and want to meet up with other Munguinites… you can always leave initial messages on here.

Hope it’s a fantastic day.

++++++++++

LET’S HAVE A LAUGH AT BREXIT

COZ WE HAVEN’T DONE IT FOR A WHILE

Mrs May has gone on a walking holiday in Wales.. and we all know what kind of farce that sort of thing can conjure up. Imagine her alone with her trusty advisor, Philip, for a whole week… [shudder].

So let’s laugh while we can, because heaven knows what crap she’ll come up with while she’s away.

So, it occured to me that there are now two Brexit parties lining up for the EU elections.

Firstly there’s Nigel’s party, launched last week (which, if I’m not mistaken, has lost its leader already) and then there’s super loonie “new” UKIP (even nuttier than before), which seems to have lost a lot of support, not least that of its own MEPs.

From 24 members elected, they are down to four serving members at the last count.

The defections are probably because of the hard right-wing stance of the latest in the party’s sad succession of leaders since Mr Farage declared “job done” and resigned back in 2016.

Mr Gerald Batten (at least it wasn’t Battenberg!) and his close advisor, Mr Tommy Robinson or (on Sundays) Mr Stephen Yaxley-Lennon make some of the previous holders of the post seem almost normal. Just imagine being too nutty for the likes of Coburn?

The thing is, that while I admit that there is going to be a fair number of people who will want to vote for one of the hard-line Brexit parties and secure a no deal Brexit, didn’t it occur to them that having two parties standing in every seat is going to split the vote and let other parties through the middle?

Ho hum…

So don’t be surprised if you get calls from insurance companies. The Tories have to make money somehow.

 

And Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat…

Maybe add 14 o’clock and 15 o’clock…

Making your mind up…

Jeez… who told you that doing deals with the devil was a good idea? Actually, I’m not sure that I know which one of them I’m addressing that to. Both?

ENCORE UNE FOIS: OH DEAR

"Voting against no-deal does not prevent it from happening."

EU Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier says the UK must submit a "concrete plan" if it wants the EU group of 27 countries to consider delaying Brexit. pic.twitter.com/YzvJtP9DmU

— Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) March 19, 2019

Will she come up with a good reason for there to be an extension?

What could it possibly be… I mean, if you have taken it to the wire with parliament before and failed dismally to get an agreement, what can you possibly do that will please MPs enough to make them vote for essentially the same deal with a few minor tweaks?

The backstop is non-negotiable and won’t be any different in 3 months. What else is there?

Still, never mind, Farage’s great march is ca’in’ awa bra! Eh?

Thirty? Forty?

And…

He hasn’t been seen for a few days now. He can’t have spent all that time in the pub… can he?

No, honestly, everything will be just fine

Ah, wait, if we can’t eat our pets… what about our neighbours?

++++++++++++

Oh, I say DOCTOR Fox,

What happened to the 40 trade deals you told us you’d have ready on the day we left.

So far, I understand that Switzerland and the Faroe Islands have signed up. And given that you’ve flown around the world 4 times, first class, in the getting of them, I think that’s fairly crap value for money, don’t you?

.@LiamFox When did signing the trade deals stop being a numbers game? In 2017 you said you were going to sign 40 deals, immediately upon leaving the EU! How are they coming along? pic.twitter.com/gOBVYdkXZy

— Andy Squibb (@SquibbmeisterUK) February 11, 2019

I’m also rather dubious about the Uk being the 5th largest economy in the world given that the USA, China, Japan, India and Germany are bound to be bigger… not to mention probably France. Certainly, after Brexit, it will be lucky to be the 15th largest…

Unless you count the market in black market food.

++++++++++

I’d say that Nigel Farage’s new party just made a no deal Brexit a lot more likely, given that if the Maybot fails to do what “the British people ‘apparently’ voted for”, ie cut their throats and stab themselves in the heart, then the Tories will lose big time to old Nigel at the next election.

Oh, what fun we are having.

Start stockpiling.