HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS, IT MAY BE A VERY BUMPY RIDE

Advertisements

A posh boy plan that has gone horribly wrong!

WHY, OH WHY, DID NO ONE THINK OF THIS BEFORE THE REFERENDUM?

I suppose the answer is that David Cameron promised an EU referendum in order to dissuade members of the Conservative Party, MPs and voters alike, from switching to UKIP.

His argument, as I recall, was that if people voted UKIP the likelihood was that they would get but a few MPs, who would be in opposition and who would have no power to offer a referendum. MPs crossing the floor might or might not be re-elected. (In the event only one of the floor crossers was reelected and he subsequently left UKIP and sat as an independent MP.) 

However, if people voted Conservative, he, their prime minister, would call a referendum on Britain’s (and Gibraltar’s) future in the European Union.

Of course, Cameron didn’t believe for a second that he would have to actually call a referendum. When he was making these promises, the polls showed very clearly, that a Labour win was on the cards.

And even, had Labour not won, for the Conservatives to form another government they would have needed a coalition with the Lib Dems, and Cameron knew that Nick Clegg would make coalition dependent upon there being no referendum. (Clegg subsequently lost his seat in the 2017 election called by Theresa May to boost her majority, which left her in minority government, dependent for her existence on a hastily arranged, ill-advised and very expensive confidence and supply arrangement with a party from Northen Ireland. A party which back Brexit, against the will of the Northern Irish people.) 

Smug, and satisfied as ever, Cameron thought he had it all in the palm of his hands.

Then disaster.

Image result for ed miliband stone

No one had reckoned what a chaotic, useless and ultimately disastrous campaign Ed Miliband would run. He started off looking like little could stop him from becoming the next prime minister and ended up resigning and returning to the backbenches.

But Cameron, in a way, had also lost. He was left with little alternative but to call a referendum.

Still, the Eton boy, Oxford and Bullingdon culture pertained. He would win. Nothing would stop him. (And when Nicola Sturgeon reminded him that he might lose, he told her not to be silly.)

So, then he lost, and although he had previously promised to stay on and sort out the consequences of his referendum, he resigned as prime minister, and although he had further promised to stay on and serve his constituents, he resigned his seat in parliament, and took to a seriously expensive shed (£25,000) at the bottom of the garden to write his memoirs. (Apologies to Jacob for the comma before “and”.)

Being so sure of himself, as is his way, Cameron had failed to think about the consequences of his original plan and consider that it might, just might, go wrong.

Image result for theresa may

And so today, having gone through 3 years of chaos with Theresa May dithering, holding an unnecessary election, losing cabinet members, signing an agreement with the EU, which was then rejected three times in parliament, and finally resigning to be replaced with something even worse… we are facing a hard Brexit, where there will likely be massive job losses, losses of rights, rising prices, falling standards, chaos and possibly riots. And, although it probably won’t initially affect the mainland, a possible return to civil war in Ireland.

Ironic, isn’t it, that this whole project was designed to keep the Tory Party together.

A thick posh boy plan gone horribly wrong.

The Tory party is split like never before, indeed some Tory MPs have crossed the floor and some are threatening to bring down the Tory government. A Tory ex-Prime Minister is threatening to take the government to court. Labour is split, and has lost MPs, and is utterly unfit for purpose. UKIP has split and largely been replaced by a party which has no policies except getting the UK out of Europe. The UK is split by countries and may end up dissolved. And Ireland is facing civil war.

Image result for david cameron looking stupid

Bravo, Dave, you wanted your legacy to be the “Big Society” (whatever happened to that?) and now it will be the probably break up of your precious union and of your party.

You complete and utter roasted posh boy wally!

ENCORE UNE FOIS: OH DEAR

Will she come up with a good reason for there to be an extension?

What could it possibly be… I mean, if you have taken it to the wire with parliament before and failed dismally to get an agreement, what can you possibly do that will please MPs enough to make them vote for essentially the same deal with a few minor tweaks?

The backstop is non-negotiable and won’t be any different in 3 months. What else is there?

Still, never mind, Farage’s great march is ca’in’ awa bra! Eh?

Thirty? Forty?

And…

Image result for where's Nigel

He hasn’t been seen for a few days now. He can’t have spent all that time in the pub… can he?

OH PULEEEEEAZE

This apparently really happened.

Someone came out of a cabinet meeting with

1/ No food.

2/ No Channel Tunnel.

written on a piece of paper conveniently sticking out of the top of a Cabinet folder, knowing that the Press was waiting outside.

So, the first one is for real… No really, it is.

The second one is a clever wee bit of photoshop by .

So, who is it that thinks we are daft enough to fall for this crap and email our MPs begging them to sign up to the bad deal? I mean, who really wants no food and no Channel Tunnel… and whatever else lurks beguilingly inside that posh red folder?

And whatever happened to the famous “no deal is better than a bad deal” slogan, which May croaked endlessly at us, in that strong and stable way she used to have , before she realised

Does anyone recognise the chubby hand and beer belly carrying the offending folder? Remember, it has to be someone stupid enough to think that we’d swallow this, so you actually can’t rule out any of the Cabinet.

This looks just a bit too obvious – the last desperate throw of the dice by a government that has lost the argument on Brexit. The sooner tomorrow’s vote is out the way, the better – then we can get on with finding a better way forward.

**********

And…

Anyone else get ‘political’ booklet from Wetherspoon today? WTAF? Why is this being sent through the door pretending to be an advert for beer? It’s political propaganda from a pro-BREXIT barman! Does the have a role in this? Sadly, can’t find return address!

**********

Again, why are they trying to persuade members of the public? Don’t they know that, unless we have another referendum, what we think doesn’t matter much?

PS: Update: I’m told that the chubby hand and beer belly you can see belong to Mel Stride Financial Secretary to The Treasury and Paymaster General. Nope, me neither.

Un saut dans le vide

It seems a bit obvious to me that what Mayhem is doing by refusing to hold any vote until halfway through January and by announcing that companies should prepare for no-deal Brexit, is her trying to scare politicians into voting for her half-arse crappy deal because, in the kind of turnabout we have come to expect from her, it seems that a bad deal IS in fact, better than no deal.

!!!!!!promises proises

Soooo, David, I guess you were forgetting about the utter chaos that Brexit has caused?

And Mickey, is this the path that we chose?

John, pa gardiau oedd yr oeddem yn eu dal? Jokers? Give us a rousing chorus of “Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau”… oh no… I forgot… my bad.

Aye, DOCTOR Liam, so easy that you’ve managed to make an arse of it?

A better trade deal; that we have at the moment? Maybe you could explain how that works. Did you go to Hogwarts by the way?

Gerard, old thing? Did Tommy tell you that? You’ve been had. It was probably the tea that did it. Most Europeans prefer ‘un café’. PS, how’s the party membership going, by the way? Down to single figures yet?

!£$

Still, you may not be able to eat them, but they sure do look pretty, even when you’re very very hungry.

***********

Oh yeah, and how about this?