RANDOM THOUGHTS

I understand that “The Sun” is reporting that Boris Johnson called Nicola Sturgeon “that bloody Wee Jimmie Crackie woman”. (No link to the article because I won’t be a party to their clickbait.) Of course, you can’t entirely believe anything you read in the Sun, but it sounds like his unprofessional style. The kind of thing you’d expect from a 12-year-old.

**********

Image result for derek mackay

This you can believe.

Derek Mackay has resigned as Cabinet Secretary for Finance.

It appears he had been texting a 16-year-old lad and offering him dinner over a six-month period.

As the lad was 16, Derek was doing nothing illegal. In Scotland, you can leave school, get married, have children and vote at 16.

But for heaven’s sake, what a bloody stupid thing to do.

We all know that the Press is against us and that they put a huge effort into finding anything unpleasant they can headline on their front pages.

The Sun has it splashed over 9 pages on this, so presumably, they have been working on it for a while. It will take a bit of living down!

What on earth possessed such an intelligent and otherwise competent man to indulge himself like this?

As Ruth Wishart put it: “Another self-immolation by a politician with no shortage of talent but an all too slender grasp of judgement”.

He’s let us down badly.

**********

It is said that Ruth Davidson is to be offered a seat in the House of Lords.

The Edinburgh Central MSP has been selected alongside former Chancellors Ken Clarke and Philip Hammond    picture: GettyImages

So just a day after wee Carlot Jackson was hobnobbing with the Duke of Rothsay at Buck House, to collect his CBE, his predecessor is preparing to join Baroness Moan of Mayflower in teh Isle of Man on the red benches, collecting £300 a day and stack of “get out of jail free” cards.

Democracy, huh?

Image result for jackson carlaw

*********

Image result for micharl gove cocaine

I read that Wee Sniffy Gove may be appointed to lead the arrangements for the Climate Change summit in Glasgow.  The vacancy came about when Johnson sacked the previous incumbent, former environment minister, Claire O’Neill, without notice, for complaining that he had failed to carry out any of his promises in regard to the conference.

We all know that in most things Johnson does, promises are piecrusts and details are doughnuts. He says stuff. He walks away. He forgets everything.

Ms O’Neill has, subsequently, spent days speaking to the Press about how incompetent Johnson is,  how little he understands the subject and bemoaning the lack of progress that has been made in organising this massive international event.

David Cameron has apparently refused to take on the job, as has William Hague, both citing other commitments, possibly money-making ones (or more likely a desperate desire not to be stuck in Scotland for most of the year).

Grouse Beater on Twitter wrote, “Michael Gove is tipped to be appointed the new president of the UN climate summit to be held in Glasgow because, being a Scot, he is *well-liked* north of Gretna Green.”

Ye, I thought you’d like that!.

If possible, an even less likeable candidate, Michael “Something of the Night” Howard has also been proposed. Why not go the whole hog and invite Ann Widdicombe, his bête noire?  If it all goes horribly wrong she can always give us a tango or quick step! After that, even a catastrophic conference would fade into the mists of insignificance.

Image result for ann widdecombe stricktly

With eight months to go, it seems like a huge task for whoever will take it on, particularly as they will be organising it in Scotland and, whether they like it or not, they need to liaise with Edinburgh about arrangements.

Given the current state of relations between London and Edinburgh, and in particular, between Johnson and Nicola, this is proving to be difficult.

You’ll remember that Johnson said that he didn’t mind if there were one of two Saltires at the conference but he wanted the place to be a sea of union flags and that he didn’t want to see Nicola Sturgeon there.

Bless him. How little he understands…  anything!

Nicola responded that she had been at the last three climate summits by invitation of the UN and that she WOULD be at this one. Of course, she can’t control the flags… but we can, and I have no doubt that Glasgow will be a sea of blue and white and that Back-Door Johnson will get the welcome he has come to expect when he appears in public in Scotland, which may cause him a little embarrassment with the world’s press in attendance.

Image result for Boris booed

 

**********

YOU UTTER, UTTER, UTTER EMBARRASSMENTS

They sang us “Auld Lang Syne” and you, Farage, in your turn, made an idiot (me being polite) of yourself.

Now, I’d imagine that most people in Brussels know that you’re a blethering old drunk who smells like a stale ashtray, and, as such, they probably don’t listen to you,  your little playmates or, indeed, your mad old Granny Ann.

But I’d lay money on the fact that this clip will have been shown on news programmes around the world, from Greenland to New Zealand; from Japan to Paraguay.

You just showed the world what a set of ill-mannered, immature, boors you are, and your behaviour will have refected not just on your miserable selves, but on your country too.

Image result for ann widdecombe and Nigel farage stance"

Furthermore, with a set of extremely difficult negotiations yet to come with the EU, you have done your beloved UK absolutely no favours… and, make no mistake, favours will be what the UK will be looking for.

Even fervent supporters of Brexit will have thought you an embarrassment.

We most certainly cringed.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Sturgeon and HM the Queen

Oh, how the Express made me laugh today.

The headline read:

Shock as Nicola Sturgeon refuses to curtsy to the Queen as she visits Holyroodhouse

Actually, there is no evidence that she REFUSED to do so. She apparently simply bowed her head a little, which broke no protocol. So it was all a big fuss about nothing.

The article opened:

SCOTLAND’S First Minister Nicola Sturgeon showed no sign of a curtsy when she met the Queen yesterday. Instead, Miss Sturgeon shook hands as the monarch visited the Palace of Holyroodhouse – the royal residence in Edinburgh.

The Queen and Nicola Sturgeon

The Queen, 93, wore a floral dress for the meeting and appeared in pink at a garden party.

It appears that the Express just wanted to get some of its little old lady readers tutting and shaking their heads in horror. They will have been relieved that, without any further ado, they could read what the queen was wearing, both when she met Nicola and when she later appeared at a garden party.

Well, it’s important stuff, that!

So in case there are any little old ladies reading this and who give a damn, here is the pink outfit, because you can never have too many pics of Liz, right?!

The Queen

If you are gagging for further information, you should probably read the Express article, but I can save you the bother by telling you that Anne wore something green, Eddy looked a complete muppet in a top hat… and Andy Airmiles looked, well, fat.

Anyway, the point is Nicola didn’t make an almighty fool of herself like her English counterpart with her knees almost on the floor and her chest almost bared!.

Image result for may curtseys

************

I’ve always thought that Ann Widdecombe was as mad as a box of frogs. I mean the only sensible thing she ever said was that Michael Howard had something of the night about him.

As a Home Office minister, she often said or did slightly bizarre stuff and then when she retired from politics and started being a “tv personality” she was even more outrageous, if less entertaining.

Image result for ann widdecombe strictly

However, in her latest incarnation, Widde is at her weirdest.

She seems to see Brits in the same light as slaves rising against a cruel master. ‘There is, she told the parliament, a long history of “oppressed people turning on their oppressors”.’

“Nous allons, wir gehen, we’re off”!

Well, Old Annie can add polyglot to her list of qualifications! 

I suspect that in these initial days of the parliament, people will simply laugh at the immaturity of the Brexit party with their refusal to face the front when “Ode to Joy” was playing and their idiotic speeches about being slaves and threatening to turn on Britain’s oppressors.

But I have a feeling that it won’t be long before the Europeans tire of this nonsense, which the BP is doing, presumably in order to stir up even more xenophobia at home, in time for what is becoming an ever more likely general election in the late autumn!

The answer to them may very well be:

Pour l’amour de Dieu, allez! Um Gottes willen, gehen! For God’s sake, go!

************

Oh, welcome to Scotland, Theresa.

************

DEAR ANN WIDDECOMBE

Or should that read, “OH dear, Ann Widdecombe”?

The  best response, I reckon, came from Mr Walton, who commented on the Twitter post, thus:

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗼𝗻 

🔶

@channingwalton
“We didn’t know what we voted for”. Show us the plan you voted for. then!
We all must know people who voted “Leave” for wildly different visions of the future, which some politician or another promised.
Because there was no coherent plan for leave. No one in government thought for a minute that it was going to happen. And David Cameron, throughout the campaign, refused to make even the smallest preparations for leaving.
Image result for ann widdecombe
So what you had was a series of ideas put forward by a series of people who were not in government and never would be. Might as well have asked a member of the cast of a pantomime.
Image result for ann widdecombe pantomime
Or a contestant on “Strictly Come Dancing”.
Image result for ann widdecombe strictly
Ah, yes… well, OK…
The current state of the two main UK parties and the impasse, about which we have talked endlessly, and which is still ongoing, in the London parliament proves that even 3 whole years after the referendum they still can’t agree on what “leave” means.
How could people have known it would turn out like this?
++++++++++
Image result for AUOB
I had hoped to get to Glasgow for the march on Saturday, but domestic duties have got in the way, I’m sad to say.
I was hoping to meet up with folk that I’ve known for so long, but never met, and some I’ve only just encountered.
But, if any other Munguinites are going and want to meet up with other Munguinites… you can always leave initial messages on here.
Hope it’s a fantastic day.
++++++++++