“I don’t know Prince Andrew, but that’s a tough story, it’s a very tough story, I don’t know.”


Well, fair enough, I suppose. A bit tangled language-wise, but we kinda get the drift…

I mean, you can stand next to someone once without knowing them. And at Westminster Anney it’s easy to just chat to another member of the congregation without knowing who it really is.

And heaven knows just because you are walking right next to someone, it doesn’t mean you actually know them, as in, y’know, actually knowing them… eh?


And how can you possibly be expected to remember someone you met before his hair turned grey, he got tubby and …whatever happened to your own hair …happened?

Come on, be reasonable.


Oh, and just because you spent two out of the three days of your state visit to Britain in the company of Andrew (presumably because the Queen thought two vulgarians would hit it off), doesn’t mean you are going to remember him, especially if you are a tad on the dim side.

“The Duke of York is being used as a secret weapon by Buckingham Palace in the belief he will be able to defuse any potential diplomatic disasters during the state visit of Donald Trump.

“In what has been dubbed “golf course diplomacy”, British officials have taken the unusual step of ensuring Prince Andrew is alongside the American president for two out of the three days he will be in the country.

“It is hoped the men’s shared passions for business, but more importantly, their mutual love for the game of golf will help them bond allowing the prince to exert a subtle influence over the politician.

“The pair met nearly 20 years ago when Prince Andrew visited Mr Trump and his then-girlfriend, Melania Knauss, at the businessman’s $200 million Mar-a-Lago estate and golf course in Palm Springs, Florida.”

Considering his self-proclaimed ‘greatest memory of all time’, he seems to forget a lot of things
Donald Trump: I have ‘one of the great memories of all time’
Donald Trump has disputed the claim that he forgot the name of a slain soldier while talking to his widow, claiming he has “one of the great memories of all time”.


Well, we know Trump is dim, but Fatboy’s memory lapses must have been catching…

I wonder if Trump’s ever been to Woking?

I suspect his bone spurs must have meant he never had the opportunity to be so scared that he simply stopped sweating.



Image result for trump greenland

OK, Own up. We all thought it was a joke.

However, apparently (and we should hardly be surprised about this) Trump was deadly serious when he said that he wanted to buy Greenland.

He is, after all, a real estate man, and Greenland is a very rich piece of real estate. Not only is it crammed with all manner of minerals that could make him a fortune, with the changes in climate, the country, or at least its southern areas, are becoming more and more hospitable and economically viable.

Image result for greenland ice

In short, Greenland is not just the snowy wasteland you might imagine.

Shrub consisting of Gray-leaf willow (Salix glauca) and fireweed (Chamaenerion latifolium), The Qingua valley.

It seems unlikely to me that Trump had the remotest notion of the relationship between Greenland and Denmark. Let’s be honest, his knowledge of most things is, to put it mildly, superficial. He makes Sarah Palin look mildly bright!

And, as far as I can make out, the whole affair was carried out on Twitter, probably without any reference to anyone who might have had an inkling.

Image result for trump greenland

Greenland is an autonomous country within the Kingdom of Denmark, not a possession that the Danes can put on the market. It has devolution that would make Scots’ eyes water. The absurdity of the proposal that Denmark cold sell it, which I imagine most people thought was a joke, was treated with disdain in Denmark and in Greenland.

“Greenland is not for sale, but Greenland is open for trade and co-operation with other countries, including the USA,” said the country’s premier, Kim Kielsen.

Lars Lokke Rasmussen, the former Danish prime minister, tweeted: “It must be an April Fool’s Day joke.”

Soren Espersen, the foreign affairs spokesman for the populist Danish People’s Party, told national broadcaster DR: “If he is truly contemplating this, then this is final proof that he has gone mad.”

(Quotes from the BBC site)


However, it appears that his proposal was serious and, as a result of the Danish and Greenlandic governments’ reactions,  Trump clearly felt that he had been snubbed and cancelled a state visit to Denmark scheduled for early September.

Image result for greenland nuuk

He had been invited to visit by Queen Margrethe II and was due to spend two days in the country on September 2 and 3.

Can you imagine the amount of time and money spent both by American officials and the Danish government and royal household arranging something as complex as a state visit? And particularly a state visit for the president of the United States.

And he cancelled all that because of a Twitter storm?

It’s high time we had an adult in the White House.




Boris Johnson is Prime Minister

What to say?

Well, let’s start off with the president of the United States. It wouldn’t be surprising for a man in his position to congratulate a newly elected leader of an ally. Nicola Sturgeon has done so (see below). But Trump added: “He’ll be great”. Erm, no he won’t Donny.

Then there was Ruth, who has kept an incredibly low profile since she backed, very publicly. Sajid and Gove just before they crashed out


Seemingly unmindful that her constituency and her country voted to stay in the EU, her priorities are to slap Nicola Sturgeon down and prevent Jeremy Corbyn getting into government in England.

Seemingly a no-deal Brexit is no longer any kind of priority for her. 

Ho-hum. Then there’s…


  • David Mundell


I congratulate Boris Johnson on his clear win in the leadership contest. Our party must now unite behind the new leader and Prime Minister, so we can get on with the job of delivering Brexit, whilst maintaining a strong United Kingdom.
Mr Mundell has been vocal in the past, not only about how disastrous leaving the EU would be for the country of which he is some sort of governor-general, but also quite clearly stating on Twitter on several occasions that he could not work with Boris Johnson and would not serve under him.
David Mundell, December 2018: “Given my views about Mr Johnson which are well known, [serving in his cabinet] would be extremely difficult. “Mr Johnson and I don’t agree on a whole range of issues and I don’t see myself being able to serve in that way.”
As usual with Mundell, however, it appears to be a load of p*ss and wind, as there is absolutely no mention of his resignation in Mundell’s tweets today. At least so far.
But Ross Thomson has been Mr Johnson’s campaign manager in Scotland, and Ross is nothing if not ambitious.
Maybe Fluffy won’t need to resign.
Adam Tomkins also chipped in with his twopenny worth of sycophancy. No priority for a sensible Brexit, never mind doing what the bulk of Scotland voted for and scrapping it. Oh no. The only thing the Tories seem to care about is maintaining their chance of a seat in the House of Lords

Adam Tomkins MSP
Congratulations to

 His job now is to safegaurd (sic) the Union from the three people who, in their different ways, would destroy it: Sturgeon, Corbyn and Farage.

Nicola had the good manners to congratulate him but went on to make it clear that she had priorities which, unlike the Tories’, included trying to protect Scotland from a catastrophic Brexit. Odd that!

Nicola Sturgeon

1. Congratulations to Boris Johnson on his election as leader of the Conservative Party. Despite our many differences, I will do all I can to develop a way of working with him that respects and protects Scotland’s views and interests.
2. However, it would be hypocritical not to be frank about the profound concerns I have at the prospect of his premiership. I am certain that the vast majority of people of Scotland would not have chosen to hand the keys of No 10 to someone with his views and track record.
3. Most immediately I, the Scottish government and the SNP

will work with others to do everything we can to block his plan for a no-deal Brexit – which would do catastrophic harm to Scotland.
4. And I will continue to advance the preparations to give Scotland the right to choose our own future through independence, rather than having a future that we don’t want imposed on us by Boris Johnson and the Tories. That is now more important than ever.
I suspect there will be much to say, some funny, and some tragic, over the next few weeks…  But let’s take a break now with a few words from someone who worked for him…

Laura Murray 

When I was 21 I worked for 2 years in the Mayor of London’s press office while the Mayor of London was Boris Johnson. He was incompetent, chaotic, lazy and genuinely seemed to not give a shit about anything at all. Possibly the worst type of person to be our Prime Minister.


Jim Taylor sent me these:








Image result for ann widdecombe as revolutionary war pilot


Her Majesty the Queen and her British “government” is looking to recruit a suitable person for a most senior post in Washington DC, that of

Ambassador (Lick Spittle)

Candidates should have the following diplomatic qualifications.

The ability to dress well for formal dinners and to eat without slurping soup or chewing with an open mouth (even when the host is doing it).

Total fluency in English. (Gaelic, Welsh, Kernewek speakers not considered). Even though the host is less than fluent.

The ability to dance at functions with people like Ivanka and Melania, should the successful applicant be male, or with Don Jr., or even Eric, in the unlikely event that a female be chosen.

The facility to translate into functioning English from “rambling nonsense” (when listening to or reading the inane twitterings of the resident head of government).

Image result for airports in the revolutionary wars

A sound understanding of American history, particularly as it relates to the use of aircraft and airfields in the revolutionary wars.

It is important that candidates be able to smile pleasantly while being bored witless by elderly orange men with a fear of descending stairs, and with that in mind, it is probable that the successful candidate will have an IQ somewhat under average.

Physical Requirements: A long tongue is also a necessity for this post.

Applications, in the first instance, should be sent to Theresa May (if you hurry) or either Jeremy Hunt or Boris Johnson, all c/o Widdecombe Farage Recruitment.

Clearly, the final interviews will be conducted in Washington DC by President Trump.


References will not be required.

This post is likely to be relatively short term, however, the pension rights and the likelihood of honours and antiquated titles in the near future make this an exciting opportunity for the right kind of creepy reprobate.


Image result for milkshake farage

Today in Newcastle, England, someone threw a milkshake over Mr Farage’s expensive suit. And some Remainers are celebrating this.

But not Tris or Munguin. Are we alone in this?

The way to win political arguments is by having strong counter-arguments to offer, not soaking people in milk, no matter what flavour.

Seriously, many people had a laugh about it because, among Remainers, Nigel Farage is a hate figure, a bit ridiculous and well… it serves him right.

Fair enough. But, apart from giving people a laugh, what has this action done?

Well first, it seems to be the main story everywhere. The Twittersphere is humming with it. But I’ve yet to see social media mention of the fact that the Electoral Commission is looking into the financing of Mr Farage’s new party, although to be fair it is being covered by the old media.

James O’Brien

If I was worried about a former Prime Minister expressing fears about my new ‘party’ laundering dirty foreign money, I would probably pay someone to lob a milkshake at me & hope that the relatively trivial story distracted attention from the profoundly serious one.
So, intentional or not, there it is: people are talking about the milkshake and not about the possible criminality.

Secondly, covering someone, even Farage, in milkshake, is violence. And no matter how satisfying it is to see, it’s simply increased the likelihood of retaliatory violence from his supporters, and they might not use milkshakes.

Added to which, at the moment it has given him victim status.

And thirdly, how many people will it have persuaded to change their votes on Thursday? Well, probably none at all… but if any, it will have persuaded them the wrong way.

I can see why people think it is amusing, and in a way it is, so I don’t want to fight about it, but in my opinion, it will be counterproductive.

**********Daft trump




That was then…

…and this is now


Donald J. Trump


If Iran wants to fight, that will be the official end of Iran. Never threaten the United States again!

9:25 PM · May 19, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone






State dinner with President Obama.

I read that the queen (for which Maybot) has invited Donald Trump to make a state visit to the UK in June. That’s pretty short notice for the immense amount of preparation that will be required to keep him entertained and safe.

(Although to be fair, you could keep him entertained by giving him a bucket load of McDonalds and KFC, setting up Fox and Friends on his tv and allowing him free reign on Twitter.)

I’m a little dubious as to why this is happening.

When Trump made a visit back in 2018, there were mass protests and he was obliged to keep himself out of the way of ordinary people. He was helicoptered everywhere so that he could avoid facing the public.

There is no reason to suggest that it would be any different this time. Except that, on a state visit, he will be expected to go places and do things with members of the royal family and government (even if it’s raining).

Talk about a face like a torn scone… Tubby pushes in front of the queen while inspecting the troops

A carriage ride down the Mall with royals is almost inevitable. And a big deal shite tie state dinner is normal. That means being close to the public. Crowds can only be controlled to a certain extent, no matter how many police the government is forced to deploy.

The royals may be less than happy to be involved with him.

The queen, of course, has no choice.

But Phil has retired from public duties. Charles is a conservationist and Trump and he are unlikely to make a happy pair. William and Kate have clear issues with him after he made sexist comments about Kate when she was snapped sunbathing nude a few years ago. Harry may have to be deployed, but his American wife will just have had a child… and Harry is pretty far down the pecking order for the so-called “leader of the free world”!

Image result for william and kate stupid
I suppose they could drag her out and make her earn her massive income just for once. At least we’d all get a laugh at her hat.

Then there is the issue of whether or not he will be invited to address a joint session of the Lords and Commons as were Obama and DubYa.

Bercow is on record saying that he wouldn’t approve it, although refusing permission is not entirely in his remit. The Lord Speaker may be of a different view.

However, I’ve seen a few MPs making it clear that should he be invited to speak, they will be otherwise engaged.

Rude? Yes, but then rudeness and Trump kinda go together.

Maybe, of course, the Maybot has a solution to all these problems. But based on her current form, I reckon that she’d have problems sorting out what to eat for lunch.

Image result for donald trump hand on theresa may's arse
So happy together…

What I can’t understand is why she would add all that extra stress to her already stressful life and for what?

One last thought… I’ve not seen the proposed schedule, but I’m wondering if he will be moving outside England. Anyone know?