SO TRUMP WAS WELCOMED TO HAWAII

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SOMETIMES MUNGUIN JUST SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND WONDERS IF HE’S ONLY DREAMING

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In the strange world of today, blessed as we are with a lying, delusional moron as president of the United States of America and a Britain ripping itself out of the European Union, the largest richest trading block in the world, and going who knows where,  under the “direction” of a disparate bunch of idiots who seem to have no idea what they are doing… and in any case are all doing whatever it is differently, it has become increasingly difficult to take seriously any of the what now passes for news.

In fact, I read earlier today that Private Eye is no longer as funny as it once was. Presumably this is because it’s impossible to put a ‘funnier’ spin on the already hilariously ridiculous news.

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Today, we heard that David Davis thinks that, while MPs will get the chance to debate the terms of Brexit deal (or one of the different kinds of no deal that he imagines to be possible), it might actually have to happen after the deed is done and dusted. By which time, of course, it will be impossible to make changes and any vote would be as much of a waste of time as the one which they had on Universal Credit. Bravo, David.

Then we find out that Harry Windsor has been on a charm offensive to Denmark. The government, being lumbered with Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary, has decided to use the Windsors to do his job. Well, I suppose they have to do something for all that money.

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Additionally, Willie and Kate and Charles and Cammy have been sent off at various times recently, to visit various parts of Europe. This is apparently designed to make the Europeans feel kindly disposed to the English or Brits or whatever. Note that H\rry arrived in a private jet, so heaven knows what the cost of this jolly is.

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Still, it has to be better than sending grandpa!

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I’ve just read too, that the only semi-sentient Defence Secretary SIR Hic Fallon has told the Defence Committee: “I have to repeat, sadly, to this committee that criticism of Saudi Arabia in this parliament is not helpful”.

Fallon claimed that criticism of Saudi Arabia in Parliament was the reason that a large order for Eurofighter Typhoon Jets to the barbaric kingdom was being held up.

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Well, we’re bloody sorry.  Who are we to be spoiling Britains chance to sell these people more weaponry to kill Yemen kids, or indeed to arm whatever other rebels they arm? (Ask Boris.) Stop being nasty about the royal Saudi thugs.

It will come as no surprise that the waste of space that inhabits the cabinet chair marked “Secretary of State against Scotland and for Making May’s Tea” was unable to tell us what new powers would be coming to Scotland… just as he was unable to explain why, as powers keep being given back to Scotland, it has been necessary for him to boost his staff from 5 to over 70.

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His only function is to represent Scotland’s interests in London. He has now 15 times the staff numbers available to him to do this. And yet, having promised a raft of new powers, he is unable to name one of them. NOT ONE. What on earth use is he, or indeed is his Noble Friend the Under Secretary so recently and with indecent haste raised to the aristocracy when he lost an election? (You Jocks didn’t vote for him, but we’ll make him your overlord anyway! Sod this democracy lark!)

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And all that is before I’ve even had a chance to find out what kind of tomfoolery the orange baboon has been up to today.

SO, IS THIS WHAT OUR GREAT TRADE DEAL WILL LOOK LIKE?

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SIR Fallon of  Tiddly has warned Boeing that they could be stripped of lucrative defence contracts as a result of the trade dispute over the sale of jets made in Northern Ireland by the Canadian firm Bombardier.

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The dispute, over which May apparently lobbied the Trump, has resulted in an interim decision by the US Department of Commerce to place a 220% tariff on the sale of Bombardier’s C-Series jets.

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This could put at risk at least some of the 4000 jobs at Bombardier’s Belfast plant, which account for around 8% of the province’s economy.

It’s to be stressed that the tariff imposition is a measure based on an interim decision. A final decision will be made in February 2018, when it is hoped it will be settled more amicably.

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The premier of Québec, Philippe Couillard, has joined the war of words describing the move as an attack on his province and on Canada.

But, it is worth remembering that Mrs May has always placed faith in the special relationship as her country seeks trade deals from outside the world’s richest trading block, and Mr Trump promised a great deal within months….

It’s a faith which it seems at the moment may have been misplaced.

Maybe next time, Mrs May, don’t hold the idiot’s hand even if he is scared of the dark, or stair or whatever implausible story that was spun at the time.

BECAUSE BRITAIN ALWAYS MINDS ITS OWN BUSINESS…

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Goodness me, changing the habits of a lifetime, the UK has decided not to poke its nose into another country’s business. May be something to do with a prime minister desperate for a trade deal on any terms…  Surely it cannot be that she doesn’t have a problem with white supremacists.

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Of course, maybe she’s just too busy looking after the “Just Getting By”,  concentrating on coming out of the single market and customs union whilst staying in the single market and customs union, and having a secure border while leaving the border open…or maybe she’s genuinely got lost in the Alps.

HOW’S BREXIT GOING AGAIN?

 

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Ironic when we’re the ones that DIDN’T vote for this. Made worse by the fact that we’ll be paying for HS2 which is also going to take business from Scotland.
a sun.
NO, you Neanderthals. In Europe that means Victory.
abre
That’s quite inspired for that lot.
achorine
But all is not lost. A trade deal with Mr Trump awaits within days of us leaving the EU
agreece
So we are striking ahead, taking back control and… erm… Oh, well.
aknife
Oh well, I suppose there are others just as bad out there. Jacob?
bre
Brexit. Good for the taxi business.
amay1
Hmmm, yeah, well, moving on…
atess
Enigmatic? 
may
I can’t wait to make all these decisions… Oh wait, it won’t be us, it will be Westminster, and the decisions will be whether or not we should eat the chlorinated chicken or give it to the dog.
cars
I thought all the money we saved was going to the NHS, not the foreign car makers.
Liam Fox
Don’t ya just love all this freedom we are going to have?