No, honestly, everything will be just fine

Ah, wait, if we can’t eat our pets… what about our neighbours?

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Oh, I say DOCTOR Fox,

What happened to the 40 trade deals you told us you’d have ready on the day we left.

So far, I understand that Switzerland and the Faroe Islands have signed up. And given that you’ve flown around the world 4 times, first class, in the getting of them, I think that’s fairly crap value for money, don’t you?

I’m also rather dubious about the Uk being the 5th largest economy in the world given that the USA, China, Japan, India and Germany are bound to be bigger… not to mention probably France. Certainly, after Brexit, it will be lucky to be the 15th largest…

Unless you count the market in black market food.

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I’d say that Nigel Farage’s new party just made a no deal Brexit a lot more likely, given that if the Maybot fails to do what “the British people ‘apparently’ voted for”, ie cut their throats and stab themselves in the heart, then the Tories will lose big time to old Nigel at the next election.

Oh, what fun we are having.

Start stockpiling.

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YOU HAVE TO LAUGH

Image result for jamie greene MSP

I have to admit it, I’m a Twitter addict.

After Munguin’s Republic (to read your comments), it’s invariably the first thing I look at on the net.

On a regular basis, I see silly tweets from a wide variety of politicians, Scottish and otherwise. My favourites are, of course, the likes of Richard Leonard, demanding that the SNP take water back into public ownership, pay Glasgow council female employees fairly, or something equally embarrassing that Labour is failing to do in Wales or failed to do during their 13-year tenure in Downing Street, but that the SNP MUST do, and Labour would definitely do were it to ever gets its hands on power in Scotland.

Even sillier are tweets from the likes of Murdo Fraser about the Queen’s Eleven, almost certainly typed later on in the evening, if you get my drift!

There is no shortage of Tories making idiots of themselves on Twitter. Miles Briggs, Ross Thomson, Jackson Carlaw, to name but a few. And my favourite: Jamie Greene.

Today in true Greene style, Jamie hit out at the First Minister, who has been on business in the USA and Canada.

He accompanied this graphic (did he pay staff to do it, tut tut, or is he a wee whiz on the ‘puter himself?) with text that read…

“If Nicola Sturgeon wants to go to the US to talk about independence then the should pay for it. The Scottish taxpayer should not be left with a bill of thousands of pounds so that the First Minister can fly first class, grandstand and talk up .”

Now, the reason I mention this is not to highlight Jamie’s graphic or literary skills.

Rather, I wanted to show the utter pointlessness of this kind of tweet.

It raised a lot of interest, of that, no doubt. I counted roughly 200 replies and there may be more by now. And, of course, I didn’t read every one in detail, but from what I could see, not one single person was agreeing with Jamie. (I’ll take that back if someone finds a supportive tweet. As I say, I didn’t read every one.)

Now, given that one criticism of Twitter is that people tend to follow and be followed by,  people with roughly the same outlook and opinions, and given that Jamie is a Tory list MSP, you might expect that the bulk of his followers would be Conservatives or at least have Conservative leanings.

It seems, then, a bit strange that there is so little support for his tweet.

On the contrary, people have laid into this intervention with some interesting counter facts.

Firstly, of course, as various people pointed out, Nicola Sturgeon didn’t go to the USA to talk about independence, she went on a trade mission. That is a part of her job.

Any idiot could have found that out in any number of ways.

Well, I’ll rephrase that, almost any idiot could.

Jamie also seems concerned that Nicola travelled first class.

Now I have no idea whether on not she did. I suspect that on a transatlantic flight, where you are expected to start work, be photographed and do interviews the minute you deplane, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to do so.

I’m sure that her counterpart in London doesn’t travel tourist on these flights.

And I’m sure that when Fluffy took himself off on a trade mission to South America on behalf of the British government, he didn’t travel steerage. So there really is a bit of a pot and kettle thing going on there.

The job of the first minister includes representing Scotland all over the world. That’s the deal. It specifically says that in her job description: “ promoting and representing Scotland at home and overseas”. Not to do so would be a dereliction of duty, and as far as I know, all first minister, regardless of party, have done it. I suspect that they too did not travel tourist.

So far so bad, Jamie.

Many tweeters point out a series of other facts to Jamie, just in case he was unaware of them, a fair number concerning the incompetence, wastefulness and general slackness regarding taxpayers money in matters within the purview of the government run by his own party.

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That one is my favourite… (To be fair I really really dislike Foxy, the disgraced former defence minister.) And there’s a wee additional comment to that particular graphic.

One guy pointed out that there was, in fact, a trade deal ready to sign.

It’s with the Faroe Islands, and according to him, it’s for whelks! (I’m sure you appreciate, knowing my love of the Nordic nations, that I mean no disrespect to the people of the Faroe Islands. I’ll bet it’s for more than Whelks. But Liam did promise us 40 deals just awaiting his signature on behalf of the queen, and no matter how good the trade deal with Thorshavn, Whelks won’t sustain us far into April. Keep up the good work your doctorness.)

As always in these matters, people do kinda go off topic ever so slightly, and mention is made of a fair few matters, not in the least concerning Nicola and her job, rather matters where the UK government has wasted endless amounts of Scottish and British taxpayers’ money.

One interesting one, I thought, was in the matter, recently in the news, of Labour MPs being bribed with cash for their constituencies to vote for Theresa’s hairbrained scheme to leave the EU, but to tie Britain to all its strictures without giving it any say in their composition. In fact, not so much “taking back control”, rather giving away the very considerable control that they had (a veto on some matters and a heavily balanced qualified majority vote on others).

It concerns a letter to the Times (no less) from Lord Thomas of Gresford QC (no less).

It seems that Jamies’ prime minister may be skating on very thin ice in this respect. And, that being the case in respect of Labour MPs,  may she not also have done so in the matter of the cash bribe(s) to Arlene’s Orange Fest?

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Nice of Jamie to facilitate the more open discussion of this matter, not (as far as I know) aired much by the BBC and hidden away in the august setting of the relatively little read  Times’ letters’ page.

Jamie’s tweets may be read here.

ANOTHER MEANINGLESS SOUNDBITE FROM MAYBOT

 

Well, everyone today is talking about the humiliating defeat of May, the triumph of the Scottish Labour, Scottish Green, SNP and Scottish Liberal Democrat MPs along with Jo Maugham QC, the advice on Northern Ireland and the fact that Fluffy STILL hasn’t resigned, and how utterly idiotic Liam Fox sounded at a committee hearing talking about the Commons stealing Brexit from the British people.

I think in the last of these he must have been getting confused with the following little matter from 10 years ago.

In the 2009 expenses scandal, he was the Shadow Cabinet minister found to have the largest over-claim on expenses and, as a result, was forced to repay the most money.

So, as you can read about that anywhere, we’ll just cover the hopefully soon-to-be ex-prime minister discard what the UN has said about poverty in Britain after 10 years of austerity and repeat another of her meaningless sound bites.

Hearty apologies if this post doesn’t work out right. WordPress has offered up a new template to write with, and it’s taking some getting used to. 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

It appears, from Radio 4’s Today programme interview, that Liam Fox wants to hold US/UK trade deal talks in secret.

You might well wonder why.

Well, maybe it’s because it will allow corporate lobbyists to influence the talks while the UK public and parliament will have no idea what is on the table as quid pro quo.

What you reckon Mr Fox… Oh sorry, DOCTOR Fox, wants to hide from us?

NHS?

Workers’ rights?

Agriculture?

Environmental standards?

Fracking licences?

Foreign affairs?

Defence?

Is it because, if it is done in public, the “ordinary” people will see the UK fold its tent every time the US makes a demand?

What do you think?

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Also on the Today programme, the BBC out and out lied about Africa and trade deals. Mrs May is in South Africa to drum up support for a future trade agreement.

Mike Galsworthy pointed out:

Argh! talking crap about why we have “huge tariffs” on “African countries” & whether we can lower tariffs. This is ignorant. 33 African countries have ZERO tariffs to EU – coz they fall under “Everything But Arms” agreement.

Also, on top of this, the EU has various deals with African regions in development, aimed at helping Africa integrate into global trading system (EU is Africa’s biggest trading partner)

The EU has *huge* interest in the economic development & stability of Africa… especially given the proximity and immigration issues. With these trade deals, I understand EU even planning to invest to help African producers meet EU quality levels to help boost exports to EU.

Small wonder that the BBC’s “flagship” news programme has lost 800,000 listeners in a year.

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That’s £500,000,000 per annum, by the way.

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NOW WE ARE SERIOUSLY LOOKING AT NO DEAL

Brexit: What the Hell Happens Now?: 2018 Edition by [Dunt, Ian]

Not long after the referendum, Terry Entoure pointed me in the direction of “Brexit: What the Hell Happens Now?” a book by Ian Dunt, the editor of Politics.co.uk.

In the first chapter, Dunt paints a doomsday scenario of a no deal exit, a scary, dystopian vision of the future. I was seriously worried by the time I finished. Fortunately, right at the end of the chapter, he admits that this is an absolute worst case scenario and highly unlikely to happen. The rest of the book is a little more upbeat.

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But because the different factions of the Tories and the DUP can’t agree on anything that would be even halfway acceptable to each other, never mind the European Union, and the clock that Monsieur Barnier pointed out was ticking over a year ago, is still heading to that 11 pm deadline on March 29, 2019, it is beginning to look like that is what we are heading for. For those in doubt, this is what it would look like.

May has always said that “no deal is better than a bad deal”, but frankly it isn’t true, any more than her other witterings have been… you know, like “being very clear” about stuff, and being “strong and stable” in government.

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Today David Dark Money Mundell, a man who makes Jim Murphy look like a  halfway decent Secretary of State for Scotland, has said that a no deal scenario would be preferable to the break up of the United Kingdom.

That as the UK government admitted that it was stockpiling medicines and foods against this eventuality, emergency measures are being drawn up, notes of advice will be issued to households over the coming months and Jacob Rees Mogg, Brexiter Extraordinaire admits that the UK could be looking at 50-60 years of austerity.

It’s all an awfully long way from £350 million a week for the NHS.

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I can only imagine that Muddle is speaking for himself on this matter. As a Cabinet Minister, I assume he wouldn’t be obliged to suffer any of the privations that the rest of us would endure. But of course, his seat around the cabinet table and the ministerial car and fat salary would disappear overnight were there no Scotland to Secretary of State for.

He most certainly isn’t talking for me, but then, I doubt that in his entire life he has ever spoken up for the likes of us… you know, ordinary Scottish people.brexitstamsp

Still … look on the bright side, folks… We can always laugh at this stupid arse.

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MORE BREXIT MADNESS

Iron Lady made of  Papier Mâché

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So, how many dead for Brexit?

b
Aye, the trouble is that most of them will be Mr Bun the Baker.

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b1
Well, that’s a relief.

b3
You just stick to what you’re best at mate, drinking and smoking.

b2
Pity that the easiest thing in human history is proving too hard for you, you bloody disgrace.

bre999
How long before they are calling on us to display the Dunkirk Spirit?

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Well, well…

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So Davis has gone, but is his replacement any less ridiculous?

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And, talking of ridiculous…

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Yes, Lord Bramall, it is. Indeed it is.

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Stunning. What did she promise Dacre for that? Lord Dacre of Brexit?

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And today they managed to make their own policies illegal…

Breden
Oh yes. Let’s be like Denmark.

Some Random Pictures

Because things have been hectic for us today… Sorry!

 

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This is Bertie the Blackbird, who is fond of sultanas but turns up his beak at currents! Go figure how fussy some of my animals are.

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He’s not averse to the odd worm though.

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Part of a friend’s garden.

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Getting overgrown at Munguin Towers. Good for hiding in though…

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Munguin likes to oversee the gardening, usually in conversation with Lord Buddha Voldermort whose company he seems to prefer to mine… Odd animal.  BTW someone could do with a bath!

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Sometimes he chats with his tortoise instead…

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Or even climbs a tree…

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But mainly he sits on his fat lazy butt in the sun, while someone fetches and carries for him.

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This fella is a random dog we met outside the best chip shop in Dundee, Glenns in King Street, Broughty Ferry. Even if they weren’t staunch independentistas (which they are), the food would still be pretty fantastic.

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This is  Albus Fumblepaws. As Jim points out, there can be little doubt about which country he comes from.

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Albie for short..well, come on, who’s gonna shout ALBUS FUMBLEPAWS across the park?

Finally, BJSAlba sent me this link today. It’s absolutely hilarious. Well worth a read, but not while you are drinking tea!