Or at least so says this roaster.


Dunno about you, but to me, this is beginning to sound frightening.

All we can do is cross our fingers and hope that the unintended consequences of the BritNats’ desire to show Johnnie Foreigner a thing or two, will be the break-up of their beloved and benighted kingdom.


Given the verification tick, I’m assuming this is genuinely from Mrs May’s boss, the president of the United States of America, the world’s biggest economy and most powerful armed forces.

Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!

OMG! As Pa Broon said on Twitter, they’ve put a toddler in charge of the USA.











Just one thing, Arlene pet, don’t think of bringing your narrow-minded beliefs to Scotland. Come by all means, but leave the bigotry and hatred, along with the orange kit, at passport control. We live in the 21st century here, we are open and welcoming, regardless of creed, colour, gender, sexuality, age, ability, or anything else. We know that’s not your party’s way. We should also probably warn you that our part in your united kingdom is moving towards its final days, so if it’s the queen, beefeaters, house of lords and great British “values” you’re looking for, I doubt if you’d like the way we are moving. Still, I hope you’ll leave Ireland. I’ve always seen you people as part of the problem and not part of the solution.





Goodness me. What a load of medals you’ve got.

So, let’s make it very clear a the outset. I have respect for the military.  I realise that among them there are some phenomenally brave and dedicated people and, although in my lifetime this has never really been an issue (in that all the wars fought since heaven knows when have been fought on foreign soil, many thousands of miles away from Scotland), I accept that they are there to keep us safe and I’m grateful for that.


Of course, I don’t agree that an impoverished little country like Britain should have the massive military spend that it does in order to punch above its weight and make senior ministers imagine that they are in some way important. (Let’s be honest, most military decision that affect us are made in Washington. All we do is provide manpower in return for them allowing our prime minister to look like he or she counts. Legacy is all!) A smaller military would be fine for the UK.


Managing to look very glum and funereal.


I can also get pretty angry about the way that the UK government treats military personnel returning from whatever war Washington has sent them to. Big on the turn out at the Cenotaph, wearing long faces and black coats… a little less enthusiastic when it comes to providing them with work, or medical/psychological treatment and the necessary benefits, when their experiences have gutted them and left them unable to settle back to normal life.


This, though, is a reality they don’t look so sad about.


We have to be careful about how much influence the military has. And the latest idea by the UK’s Defence Secretary makes me decidedly uncomfortable. The May Youth?


The child defence secretary. And I don’t mean he defends children.


A good few years ago, I ran a project to help young school leavers to get into work: apprenticeships, training places, college, etc.

While I was doing that, in cooperation with other projects, we ran a Jobs Fair, and of course, my lot turned up (although most of the lads had already chosen, and been accepted for, some sort of apprenticeship).

The Army was there with their recruitment team. And the 16-year-olds gravitated to their stall. A while later after the fair, we were having a coffee as a group and the lads were full of tales of the wonders of the army life.

How much they paid, how many sports you could play, how you got to travel and see the world, what trades and skills you could learn.

“They teach you to ski, Tris!”

Maybe, some of them thought, they should turn down the jobs that they were heading for and take up the military challenge… ‘the queen’s 5 pence’ as it were? It would be a life of fun and adventure. What did I think?


Faced with all this youthful enthusiasm, I was dubious about being too negative but felt I had to intervene with a bit of common sense (after all we’d worked hard to get employers to take them for apprenticeships and letting employers down is never a good idea). So I did ask how they felt about Afghanistan and Iraq, in both of which at the time UK forces were involved in brutal wars.

‘Where?’ they chorused!

These inconvenient little facts hadn’t been mentioned, it seemed.


War? Killing people? Getting killed? Or maimed? Seeing mates killed?

Of all that stuff, not a word.

Now, that seemed a trifle irresponsible, I thought. It’s a bit like taking on a chef and not mentioning that some cookery would be involved. I decided that at future jobs fairs, the military would not be invited.

Of course, I have no problem with people making a decision to join the armed forces. It can be a good life for the right person and as I’ve said, we may need them one day. I had an uncle who dedicated his life to it and was very happy doing so.

But kids need to have all the facts and not a glorified version of life in the forces. I’m happy to say all my lads chose to stick with the dull old apprenticeships in Dundee.

I don’t think it is the job of schools to make soldiers or sailors or airmen. Certainly not of 12-year-olds full of dreams, especially maybe those who come from difficult backgrounds of poverty and deprivation, as so many do.

I trust that our Education Secretary declines to involve Scottish schools in this scheme. I’m suspicious that they really want to do, as they have always done, is take people from the poorest areas in the country, and make cannon fodder of them.

Or am I being too harsh?



I’m told that May came to Scotland yesterday for a very brief visit during which she studiously avoided any members of the public.

This Scottish bloke here was clearly explaining the manufacture of tartan to her.

She, clearly, couldn’t have been less interested if she’d made a Herculean effort.

I’d have thought that she might have been able to learn how to smile, and at least look towards whatever was being explained to her even if she’s not taking in a word of it.

I’m wondering what particular “real opportunities” Brexit will provide for “Britain”. (Given that she was on a whistle-stop tour of four nations of the UK, I’d have thought she might have mentioned Scotland by name. But that would have taken a bit of empathy, not one of May’s strong points.)

b r e

Anyway, what ARE “real opportunities” …as opposed, say, to “imaginary opportunities” like, for example, £350 million a week for the NHS?

Oh well, they say that trying times bring forth the best in some people…

So maybe we’ll reinvent powdered eggs, ration books and gas lighting and sing songs around the piano. Now there’s an opportunity for second-hand piano salesmen.


*added at 11.03


The other day there was a small demonstration on London’s river, the Thames. It involved a few middle-aged men and some dead fish. It seemed to get quite a bit of coverage in the media (including our own humble pages). Possibly because it involved Jacob Rees Mogg (the next UK prime minister, they say), Nigel Farage, the arch publicist, and much more interesting, the aforementioned dead fish.

Today there was a massive demonstration in Edinburgh involving thousands of protesters who joined arms around our parliament in a symbolic gesture telling the UK parliament to keep its hands off our powers.

I mean, we can be pretty certain that Westminster’s objectives in repatriating powers to THEIR parliament instead of OURS is NOT IN ANY WAY destined to be for the good of the Scottish people.

As if!

So thousands of people turned up and they joined hands and encircled our parliament, as you can see from photographs to be found all over the net.

As far as I can make out, however, the BBC didn’t bother mentioning it on the grown-up national news, and even BBC Shortbread had it so far down the pecking order it went almost unnoticed.

Indeed, according to the BBC… “news” under Scotland, a library book returned after 36 years, was considered to be more important. now Munguin’s Republic encourages people to return Library books timeously… or even late… (and we’re sure that will get Conan’s backing too) but come on… Thousands of people protesting at parliament in the capital and one library book!

So, if you aren’t internet savvy and you don’t live in fairly close proximity to parliament in the capital, you ain’t gonna know that it happened.

Well, of course, unless you live abroad… because the Chinese were there


The BBC seems determined not to report any news that is good for Scotland and in particular the independence movement, but you can bet that if only 4 people had turned up, Misreporting Scotland would have been over it like a particularly nasty rash.

I don’t know if they think they are doing Westminster a favour; I don’t know if they think there is a collection of Damehoods, Knighthoods and Peerages to be gained if they manage to keep news from us, but I tell you this, as a long-term strategy, this kinda thing rarely works.

You’ll be rumbled, BBC.

Anyway, Munguin wishes he’d been there (if only to take tea with Nicola afterwards) but to all the great folk who WERE there (and I know some Munguinites were), we say thank you for going and playing your part in telling London where to get off.

Let’s make “so called” Reporting Scotland an essential epithet.


Initially, you may remember, I was up for Jeremy Corbyn.

I was delighted when, not once but twice, he beat the right wing Blairites into oblivion. What a delight to see the smug self-satisfied right wing of the Labour Party (Tory-Lite) eating crow, as they found their dreams of self-aggrandisement and importance disappearing faster than the proverbial sna’ aff a dyke, to be replaced on the front bench by the slightly scruffy beardy leftie backbencher, who claimed next to nothing in expenses. How cheers too, to see the unlovely Cameron make a real fool of himself when he mocked the man because he hadn’t spent £5000 on his suit.

Frankly, however, I think he has been a disappointment as a leader.

Fair enough, he has always been a Brexiteer and he hasn’t gone against his principles as far as I can see on that. But you can believe in Brexit without agreeing with everything the completely half-witted government in London is doing to drive the country off a cliff and bring back trouble to Northern Ireland.

He has no plan, no strategy for withdrawal that doesn’t mirror that of Fox or Gove.

In short, he’s not got a clue.

And talking about not having a clue, he really needs to stay away from Scotland, because he knows less than nothing about the country, its laws, its government and its people. Every time he comes here he makes a fool of himself and damages his party (like Dick wasn’t doing that well enough at that!).

A poor leader he may be, but now senior government figures (and the daft wee soul above), with nothing much to batter him down (as he agrees with so much of what they say, but is personable with it), have decided to accuse him of being a traitor; of committing treason.

I think you have to be VERY sure of yourself before you accuse a political leader of Treason. And it seems that people in the Defence and Security departments have done just that… not to mention the wee chubby bunny blokey, Bradley, who seems to suffer from foot in mouth disease and is clearly working on a book of “embarrassing tweets what I have sent“.

Not, I suppose in fairness, that anyone gives a damn what he thinks about anything in the whole world.

I not a fan of Andrew Neil either, but in fairness, he can, and does, hand incompetent ministers their posteriors on platters… or their arses on plates, for those of you who don’t come from Morningside or Kelvinside.

Steve Baker is a particularly poor specimen of a minister. In normal times he’d never get past bag carrier. But I guess that no one much wants to work in the Department for Exiting Europe, given that David Davis is an incompetent fool and that no one in their wildest dreams thinks that Brexit’s going to end well. So probably May was dredging the bottom of the barrel to find someone to fill the job.

But, he needs to learn that when you go on tv representing the government, you have to either stand behind your colleagues or …well, you need to resign.

As for Gavin Williamson. Why was he ever appointed Defence Secretary, and why is he still there?



Thanks to Elaine Lloyd (whose tweet I pinched)  for these figures.

And thanks to Kangaroo for pointing us in this direction:


Country Year end Q3 2017 Comparison (prev. year)
Exports: £323.6bn

Imports: £461.3bn



Exports: £241.1bn

Imports: £369.4bn



Exports: £16.4bn

Imports: £17.1bn



Exports: £28.0bn

Imports: £22.9bn



Exports: £8.5bn

Imports: £7.4bn



Note: United Kingdom figures include trade that can not be attributed to individual nations