RANDOM THOUGHTS

Image result for heathrow immigration

Heathrow Immigration is in a bit of a mess. The average wait, if you are arriving from outside the EEA, is over 2 hours. Can you imagine how long it will be after March 29, 2019… assuming there are any flights coming in?

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Wales

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

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Image result for Nelson Mandela

Having already refused to give visas to a dozen or so authors invited to attend the Edinburgh Book Festival, the immigration service held up the family of Nelson Mandela who were travelling to the festival to appear in a Q&A with their great-grandmother on the life of the late president.

Do you get the impression the UK government might be trying to sabotage the festival? If they are, they are doing their usual cack-handed job of it. It’s reflecting just as badly on their global Britain image. But ‘cack-handed’ and ‘Theresa May’ seem to be joined at the hip.

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Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to Freda Jackson.

Poor Freda. She went on holiday with her friend to Benidorm and was surprised, nay shocked, to discover that there was a load of Spanish people there.

How very dare they?

Did no one tell them that Benidorm is for the exclusive use of Brits?

I mean, it must have been like going to Blackpool and finding English people there.

Can you just imagine? Horror of horrors.

Freda said Spanish people were rude.  Of course, this may be true. There are undoubtedly Spanish people who are rude. I suspect though, not all of them.

Probably they had the effrontery to speak Spanish.

‘The entertainment in the hotel was all focused and catered for the Spanish – why can’t the Spanish go somewhere else for their holidays?’ said dear Freda.

Johnnie Foreigner just gets more and more unreasonable as time goes on. The entertainment was Spanish, in Spain, and there were Spanish people all over the place. Locksalaudy, whatever next?

I mean, how are decent English people supposed to enjoy a foreign holiday or indeed have a football riot, when their plans are thwarted left, right and centre by foreigners?

Mark my words, Europe. This will not be tolerated.

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Oh hell… where do you even begin on this?

Barf…

Get me out of here.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

$rules

So, Conservative Central Office is bragging the government has brought in new legislation protecting people who buy their package holidays on line.

“We are introducing new rules to protect package holidaymakers and save customers tens of millions of pounds”

🏝☀

“The government has today (Sunday 1 July) introduced new measures that will protect an extra 10 million UK package holidays a year and help save British holidaymakers tens of millions of pounds a year with strengthened rights for consumers and new protections.” They say.

Awww. Isn’t that kind of them?

Well, no, it isn’t, as it happens.

LIARS!

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So hardliners (30 or so of them) have told May that this is the deal they want.

Ooooops.

Dear Prime Minister,

At this critical moment in our country’s history, the time has now come to get tough in your negotiations with the European Union. We are looking to you to demonstrate courage and leadership in the face of those who seek to undermine the express wish of the British people in the 2016 referendum.

In order to satisfy this result and uphold our promise to the British people, after our formal departure on the 29th of March 2019, we will not accept:

  • an extension of the transition period beyond 31st December 2020
  • any extension to the two-year withdrawal period as stated in Article 50
  • the jurisdiction of the European Court of Justice over the UK in any form beyond the transitional period
  • remaining part of a customs union or other similar entity
  • any departure deal that prevents us from forging new trade deals
  • free or preferential movement of people from the EU
  • any deal without robust conditionality, linking the £39 billion financial settlement with a satisfactory free trade agreement
  • any part of the United Kingdom being treated differently from the rest

Our departure must be absolute. We must not remain entangled with the EU’s institutions if this restricts our ability to exercise our sovereignty as an independent nation. Anything less will be a weakening of our democracy. Britain must stand firm.

Yours sincerely

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

!5
Lead us, says Gordie, but from the rear, behind that big door there, in the cellar and never expect anyone to listen to anything you say, you stupid Jocks. How’s staying in the EU working out, Ruthie? And Theresa, maybe you want to have a word with Fluffy, you know other than “black with no sugar and a small rich tea”.
!6
Fluffs, when you finished washing up, maybe have a word with the Maybot. (It’s black with no sugar and a small rich tea, by the way.)
!7
P r o m o t i n g and P r o t e c t i n g, Fluffette. Jeez, you are SOOOOOO Bad at your job, aren’t you, poppet!
!c2a3mundel
Does anyone else remember that being mentioned before the referendum? Nah, nor me. It was just getting shot of the foreigners and the bus with the ludicrous promise splashed all over it. 
!dilusional
Och, Pauline, ya wee scone. You come and shout at me for marching next Saturday in Bannockburn. And if it makes you feel better, throw a wee hissy fit, then I’ll buy you a nice cup of tea and Munguin will tell you a story of how he became a media mogul… (Oh, and it was 90,000+ that time. Yer arithmetic’s fell dodgy.)
!DWP
Initiated by the odious creeps’ odious creep, Iain Duncan Smith of Betsygate fame, continued by successive DWP ministers and now delivered incompetently by this evil item.  As Stuart Campbell said, Incompetent and Evil. That’s quite a combination. Probably excellent qualifications for a job in the Tory Party. Oh wait…
!labour
Why are people always walking out on the Tories? Rhetorical question, folks. Oh, and what was it that Labour MPs were saying about the SNP walk out?
Atory
Now we know: Outlaw, Robber, Brigand.  Seems like a good place to exile them all to.

Over 5000 people have joined the SNP in the last few days. I’d like to say that we welcome you all. Together we can do this.

And finally, to those Scots, and folk around the world, (and very specially to Abu, who’ll be here in a few days), who are celebrating the end of Ramadan, Munguin and I wish you all ‘Eid Mubarak’.

WESTMINSTER IN ACTION IS A MASTERCLASS IN STUPIDITY

!com

Of course, you all know the story.

As I understand it, after World War II, a bit before my time, Britain was short of manpower, and it had a big rebuilding job to do. So it invited people from its Empire (particularly the Caribbean) to come and work in the UK, mainly England, where the bulk of the rebuilding had to be done.

Of course, these people sometimes had young kids who, not unreasonably, came with them.

!wind

And these kids grew up in the UK while their parents, often really badly treated by natives because of their colour, helped to put the country back on its feet. They went to school, and then on to work, college or university. Many of them have lived all their lives in Britain. Some of them have never been back to the Caribbean, even for visits. They know no one there. They paid taxes in the UK all their lives. They think of it as home.

Now they are being given the full “British Values” treatment by Westminster. They have no paperwork to prove they are British or that they have a right to be in Britain. (It probably didn’t occur to them, y’know, before they’d reached their tenth birthday, that one day they would require paperwork.)

Now many have been sacked by employers because it’s illegal to employ them. They can’t claim benefits and they are being deported.

!amber-rudd-borders

Amber Rudd, who it seems to me couldn’t find her backside with two hands and the aid of a guide dog or six, says she doesn’t know how many of them have been deported wrongly, presumably because the Home Office just deports people and then shreds all the paperwork. The Home Office shredders are, after all, notorious for their vociferous appetite for anything that looks a tad dodgy.

The Home Secretary criticised the application of the crackdown – introduced by Theresa May, her predecessor in the job – telling MPs: “I am very concerned about the way in which the Windrush generation have (sic) been treated.”

But, asked if there had been wrongful deportations, she said she would have to meet Caribbean High Commissioners urgently to “find out if there are any such people who have been removed”. [BBC]

The Caribbean nations asked for a meeting with Theresa May, which initially, almost unbelievably, she declined. When you are pinning your post-Brexit hopes on the Commonwealth in just a year’s time, it takes a strong and stable, not to say brave leader to snub a fair few of their members today. However, they must have found someone in Downing Street with just a modicum of sense, and it seems that she will now see them.

Whether, of course, they will derive anything useful from her stuttering and stumbling through a pre-written statement, is debatable.

It is, though, interesting that, given the administrative mess it made over Windrush, the UK is promising to make provision for registering the 2.5+ million or so EU citizens who currently reside in the UK (and without whom we would be hard-pressed to continue functioning) so that they can remain here after next March, now 11 months away.

$

What chance is there that the Home Office is going to manage this responsibly?  What is the likelihood that they or their children, in years to come will find themselves unceremoniously deported to Bratislava or Berlin, Paris or Prague?

!amay

My advice to EU citizens would be NOT to trust them an inch. They are a bunch of duplicitous, inefficient and heartless bastards… and that’s letting them off lightly. Check, double check and then check again, and even if you are satisfied, never ever underestimate how inefficient and /or perfidious this lot can be.

!amay1

Have a backup plan.

And they say that Scotland wouldn’t be able to manage without them… Jeeeeez.

SHEESH III

You’ll love this intellectual conundrum…

Damned foreigners, coming over here and taking our jobs and not even working…

What will they think of next to thwart the decent hardworking Great British families up and down the country? Eh?

I ask you!

 

BUT, BRITAIN IS SPECIAL…(WHINE)

!a

Aye, well. I think the UK has just been shown without any doubt that having cake and eating it is the stuff of fairy stories and princesses with golden hair. And that, indeed we are just like other countries.

“EU27 wants the UK as a close friend and partner and will enter talks on the future with an open, positive mind. But, given UK red lines, only an FTA is possible. It will be the first FTA in history to loosen, not strengthen economic ties. Drifting apart is the essence of Brexit.”

So goes the Tweet from Donald Tusk.

It is worth remembering that the Scottish government’s assessment (roundly rubbished by the London government at the time, but then shown to be accurate by subsequently published UK figures) estimated that the Scottish economy could suffer by £12.7 billion a year.

So bravo UK. You put all the red lines there. Now we’re supposed to sit back and suffer?

And for all those who are blaming the EU for being harsh on poor little Britain, here’s a comment from Hugo Rifkind:

!£

You guys warned us that we wouldn’t be able to use YOUR money. You would put up border posts on all the roads crossing between our countries. You wouldn’t trade with us. You even told us that pensions we had paid into for in some cases 50+ years would stop.

OK, we know you lied, but given all that, I think the EU is letting Britain off lightly by comparison.

!1

Still, I’m sure that the Queen, Charles and Maybot all sucking up something wonderful to the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia today, will be making up for all the lost opportunities. Just think of all the weapons you can sell them so that they can go on playing puppeteer in the Middle East Proxy Wars!

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