YOU COULDN’T MAKE HIM UP…

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A Tory MP, who says that Britain will be more global after Brexit, is kicking off this new Globalness by banning French and German wine from his Brexit party.

THAT global? I hear you say! Goodness, that is VERY global.

Only drinks from “the British Isles” will be permitted, says Andrew Rosindell, who seems not to know that the British Isles includes the Isle of Man, the Channel Islands (none of which were never in the EU) and, of course, the Republic of Ireland, which remains in the EU (not to mention Northern Ireland which is half in and half out).

He then spoils the utter Britishness of it (sorry Ireland) by saying that wine from the Commonwealth will be permitted…like any of them give a damn.

Only British food and music, though, will be allowed.

“We’ve got music from around the British Isles and singing and dancing from all parts of the UK and we’ve got a great British buffet with food from around the UK and English sparkling wine – nothing French or German but everything British and Commonwealth.

“We’re going to be celebrating in style and at 11 o’clock when it’s all done we’re going to be singing God Save the Queen and Rule Britannia. I think huge numbers will come. Everyone’s welcome.”

I hope that “everyone” includes all the homeless people because I dare say they’d be happy to eat anything that’s going and probably appreciate a nice glass of English wine.

He continues:

“This is a turning point in our history, whatever people’s views. We are going to have a bit of party but it’s a serious decision that the country’s made.

“We are evolving as a nation. We are going to be more global, we are going to be out there in the world again – Britain’s back.”

I can understand that Joe/Jo McBloggs might not understand that Britain never went away and was never NOT in the world, given that he or she may read the Express, the Mail or the Sun.

But you would think an MP might know that that was rubbish and that Britain, because of its size, was one of the leading countries in the EU and as such, because of the EU’s size and wealth, had a considerable amount of influence in Brussels and therefore also in the world.

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It is unclear what Britain will become after it leaves the EU (which, in reality, will not be on Friday night, rather on 31 December this year) but it will certainly not be in the top ranks of the world’s nations. The UK will simply not have the economic clout.

As this article points out, Rosindell is really out of touch, even about something as British as the BBC.

In 2016 he put forward a motion in parliament to have the BBC play the national anthem at the end of every day, seemingly unaware that the BBC doesn’t end broadcasts at the end of the day, but shows repeats all night.

A REALLY BAD DEAL IS BETTER THAN A BAD DEAL

Also, anyone know how much bribe money is now on the table for Northern Ireland?

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Anyone care to hazard a guess that the Scottish Secretary, Union Jack, is fighting for the same sort of money for Scotland, which also voted to stay in the EU?

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Does anyone know what constituency in Northern Ireland this loonie represents?

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Ross Thomson MP
As a Unionist I’m pleased that the new deal @BorisJohnson has secured ensures that NI will be in the UK customs territory forever. The anti-democratic backstop has been abolished. Meaning that the people of NI will be in charge of the laws that they live by. #GetBrexitSorted

SOMETHING FISHY GOING ON WITH ROSS

Our dear old mate, Ross Thomson, went on a visit to Nolan Seafoods in West Tullos. He got some great shots of him talking to ordinary people. Well, an ordinary person anyway.

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He put them up on social media.

He wrote: “They export globally and are a local success story now employing over 700 people. I was able to watch skilled employees hand fillet whiting and haddock as well as see the latest cryogenic freezing technology.”

He also got a pic with the boss.

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Unfortunately, that shot included the plaque outside the offices proclaiming that the building was part-funded by… the EU. Y’know, that organisation that Ross is busting a gut to leave.

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Thanks for the close up to Brian ‘A little bit trashy’ Wright
@braindeed

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Jeez, funded by the Fisheries Fund of the EU and even worse, also supported by the Scottish Government! Old Ross’s two pet hates in one sign. and he gets himself photographed next to it. Thanks for that shot  to @danrobertson89

Oh well, better luck next time, Ross.

HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS, IT MAY BE A VERY BUMPY RIDE

HOW DARE FOREIGNERS JUMP QUEUES

When you have nothing of substance to say, why not just generate some congratulatory headlines for the Daily Mail?

May sank to a new level today, even for her, and that is quite an achievement.

She was speaking to business, trying to sell her half-baked Brexit plan and, with very little to sell, and certainly nothing concrete, she remembered that we held all the cards and she played the Xenophobic joker.

In future, she said, EU citizens would not be able to “jump the queue” to get into the UK.

She seems to be unaware that no EU citizen jumped any queues to work anywhere in the EU, or indeed in the EEA. There were no queues. No more of a queue than there would be if I, in Dundee, decided to apply for a job in Stornaway, Riga, Vaduz or Bognor.

She managed to imply that these sneaky Europeans had been taking the best of the jobs in place of people from her Empire. Canadians or Kenyans had to get in line behind people from the European Union.

Of course, if she knew anything about recruitment at a high level, she would know that that’s not how it works. But then, had she known anything about recruitment she might, as Home Secretary, not have put all the barriers in the way of employing scientists from Sydney, doctors from Durban or techies from Tiruchirappalli.

Mrs May, of course, has several hurdles to cross before her plan becomes “the” plan. The EU is meeting this weekend to look at it and may or may not approve it without change; she has to deal with the rebels in her own cabinet, Leadsome, Gove, Fox, Mordant and Grayling, who are determined that they could have negotiated another, better deal and are writing one as we speak despite being told not to be the PM and by Europe… Who knows what will happen if they are ignored. And then she has to sell it to the DUP, the Commons and the Lords. On top of that, it has to pass the parliaments and in some cases devolved parliaments of the 27 member states of the EU.

I’m not holding my breath.

Still, there’s nothing like a bit of foreigner bashing to get a great headline in the moronic tabloid press.

I liked this open letter which a lady, who clearly ‘jumped May’s queue years ago (before making a contribution to the UK), wrote to the pm. Not that she’ll be embarrassed by it. She has more front than the Côte d’Azur… oh sorry, Blackpool.

CAKE, MORE CAKE… AND HOLDING ALL THE CAKE, I MEAN CARDS

RATION CARDS, I MEAN