Président Macron est arrivé en apportant des cadeaux

But all may not be quite as it seems…

My thanks to BJS Alba for sending me this cartoon.

!!!!!!!!!!!
Mes remerciements à BJS Alba pour m’avoir envoyé le dessin

 

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

 

!trump
One knows Trump said he wasn’t coming, Pheeleep. After all, one has done one’s best to ensure that one leads a “sheet-hole” country, but best to keep safe than sorry. So, if we see anything orange we make for the helicopter, right? It will either be him or that dreadful Arlene person. Either way, being at Windsor will be preferable, even with all these beggars.
!trump2
Erm… sometimes you have to wonder if the flash limos and hundreds of servants are worth the anguish of working under President Pinhead.
£$
Arise, Sir Pledge.  Oh and please take £115,000 a year to run your post-prime ministerial office, even if you were never the prime minister. And the Queen may not have seen fit to honour the fire, police and ambulance people, the porters, doctors, nurses and all others involved, but seriously, ask yourselves who the public value more. And remember, their baubles mean absolutely NOTHING.
£britain
Eugh… how revolting, in every way.
€
Ah, the worst pensions in the world are only safe with the  broad shoulders of our beloved benighted kingdom! Just as well we stayed, isn’t it?
a labour
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Jeremy Corbyn. You’re not half a disappointment. Do you know anything about anything?
a oil
You might think that that was odd, but then, when you consider the other daft stuff the UK has pulled, it all seems quite logical.
a nuclear
Ooops, Philip. Bit of an old gaff there.
a rbs
The closure of hundreds of branches of RBS in England, Scotland and Wales seems to have evoked very little interest in the House of Commons.
A UKEU
Ah, the good old democracy of the Benighted Kingdom.

 

Don’t we deserve a little more than these idiots?

Goodness, another one to join Fluffy in either the “thick as a brick” or “out and out liar” categories of politician.

For our readers in England:

Recently promoted Dominic Rabb told “Question Time” that there were more beds than ever in the NHS.

!dominic-raab

He said there was “more money than ever”, adding: “We’ve got more beds, more doctors, more flu vaccines available than ever before.”

The trouble is that he too, was either ill-informed, or lying. As the Mirror’s report says, NHSE’s own figures show that there are  17,000 fewer beds than in 2010.

Why is the UK so badly served by liars and fools? Are they trying to compete with Donald Trump?

WHAT A RELIEF: I CAN HAVE A BLUE PASSPORT

£!3

I’m sure you will all be a relieved as I am that the BritNat government has announced that, upon the day that the UK leaves the European Union, a proper Blue passport will incrementally replace the fake burgundy one that we have been obliged to tolerate for the last 30 years.

A variety of guests were invited to appear on Radio Four’s Today programme to gush about this momentous event in the history of our “proud island nation”.

All of them were bubbling with excitement. It was as if it were the government’s Christmas gift to its grateful and adoring populace

Nigel Farage tweeted, “Happy Brexmas”, as joy unbounded overtook him despite his impoverished condition.

I think people may be a little disappointed though when they finally get their new passports because, even if you take back control, in today’s world you have to fit in with international standards (on this occasion set in Montréal, Québec, Canada by a UN authority). There’s not much point in having a passport that cannot be read by immigration officials anywhere else in the world.

£pa

So it is unlikely that the stiff cover with the cut-out space for a handwritten name will survive. The new proud Tory Blue passport will have to comply with UN requirements, no matter how important and superior Britain thinks itself to be.

In short, it is likely that the new passport will look the same as the old passport, except it will be blue and it will not have “European Union” anywhere on it.

It’s a little sad that so much fuss is being made over the colour.

!£1

And, there was nothing to stop the Brits having a blue passport whilst a member of the EU. Croatia seems to manage perfectly well!

The fact that it was an EU passport conferred a few privileges on its holders. You could, for example, when outside the union, make use of any of the diplomatic services of any of the countries of the union. So, if you had a problem in Mauritania,  Peru or Cambodia, you could pitch up at the French embassy/consulate, or the Hungarian embassy/consulate, and they would have the same obligation to render assistance as the British embassy/consulate.

Mostly, of course, the red passport used to mean we could move relatively seamlessly though over 30 countries in Europe. Now we will have to queue at borders. If the purpose of the document is to ensure smooth passage between countries, the new passport will certainly be failing there!

I think, though, that the saddest thing I heard this morning was someone say that having a red passport was a mark of shame on the UK.

!!£

I’d suggest that people dying of cold on streets, letters arriving telling people they are fit to work on the day that they die, waiting in hospital corridors for 36 hours for treatment, the lowest pension/salary ratio in the developed world, the most expensive transport in Europe, homeless children, schools begging parents for money, well over a million food bank users, the return of rickets…. might be considered rather more of a shame than a piddling passport colour.

Ironies: It’s not clear that the new “iconic” British passport will actually be made in Britain. According to two separate articles in the Daily Diana, they may be made in France or Germany.  What horror!

And, no matter where they are produced they will still contain the French wording: “Honi soit qui mal y pense” and “Dieu et mon Droit”.

A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma…

How do you solve a problem like Brexit?

$

This is the rough version of what’s happening today… (according to Laura Kuenssberg)

UK Govt – it will all be fine;

Dublin – we can’t budge;

DUP – we won’t budge;

EU – the show is now in London;

Brexiteers – if EU doesn’t bury this bit, for now, May has to walk.

amayq

Meanwhile, the real prime minister has refused to meet with May today.

DUP conference 2017

Interesting times.

DAVID’S DIARY

david-davis

22 SEPTEMBER: All going splendidly. A few people turned up to hear the boss today. Well, no one important, but at least it wasn’t all empty seats! (I told her Friday matinees weren’t the best idea, but you know her. She always knows best.)

The old dear cackled on a bit in her usual way, and frankly, I dropped off for a bit as you do after a good luncheon. But I’m sure she socked it to Johnny Foreigner.  Told them we’d stick around for longer. Ha ha. That made them sit up. Well, those that were awake, anyway.

But we’re Brits. We’ve never felt at home with all these people speaking foreign at us and their foreign courts and, I mean look at the democratic deficit. Why, it’s a European dictatorship. No. The majority of decent hardworking British families up and down the country are jolly glad we’re putting these foreigners in their place at last.

Mark my words, they’ll run after us begging for trades deals, as will the rest of the world. And we’ll return to our rightful place at the head of the list of senior and important countries leading the world forward under Bor… I mean Theresa.

Er, we just need time, and Liam needs to get his royal yacht built… but once we’re up and running, nothing will stop us.

Leaving you some pics I’ve taken or been sent on my journeys around the world to save you decent British people from this European dictatorship.

All the best

DD

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LIAM HAPLESS FOX’S DEPARTMENT TWEETS AND DELETES

aceta

Correction, here’s what it means for you for a few months, till the UK leaves all that behind. Don’t you love that, although it is an EU/Canada treaty, somehow the EU flag has disappeared and another, relatively unassociated one, has replaced it? Odd that! A mere oversight, soon to be corrected, I suspect.

aceta1

But don’t get too attached to the jobs. Remember that in March 2019 they will dry up… Oh, and I see they haven’t removed the UK flag and replaced it with the other signatory to the treaty yet. Sure to happen soon, though. Don’t worry. It’s in the “capable” hands of Liam.

aceta2

Progressive you say? Taking people and the environment into account, you say?

Oh dear no. That would never do.

No, leave that nonsense to the progressive go ahead countries in the world. Much better for us to stay with the good old days of Empire where folk knew their place, we knew where we were and what was what.

But, strangely, still no one in Liam’s department has sorted the flags thing out. Probably too busy with plans for the royal yacht that Liam’s going to sail around the world on accompanied by Kate Middleton.

But wait! Having Tweeted this last night, the Department for International Trade, more of which you can read about here, removed these tweets this morning. They must have seen the flag error at last.

Or maybe someone pointed out to them that rejoicing in the good fortune of Europe, fortune the UK will not benefit from for more than a few months, only made the UK look sadder and more lonely and isolated.

Still, maybe Liam will sort out his royal yacht and sail off into the sunset, Kate at his side and retake the Empire for his Queen.

I wonder if William will hang out with Adam while they are off on their adventures.