STRONG AND STABLE ON PLANET MAY

 

asrong
I can see that standing with legs apart might well mean stable. But strong?
atstrong
Just in case she forgets what’s in the manifesto.
atoryme
Fàilte gu beaga bìodach seo talla a ‘bhaile ann an Alba. Welcome to this tiny village hall in Scotland. Your English audience probably thinks it’s the main street in Edinburgh.
atory
Where are the other 26?
ATessy#
I’d stick to strong and stable if I were you, Tess.
brex
Your judgement?  Ah, yes.
Aliaer
No, it won’t.  That is an out and out lie. You have the mandate of the referendum for your negotiations.  Albeit by a relatively narrow squeak, I know, the English and Welsh voted for Brexit. That is the hand you play.  The EU has already said that it makes absolutely no difference to them what the outcome of the election is. You don’t understand the negotiating process at all.
a tory public appearanvce
Booked (a wedding party) for Theresa’s next visit to Scotland.

 

WELL, YOUNG PEOPLE, IT IS UP TO YOU

am£y

As a kind of follow-on from the last post, I thought this was an interesting infographic from the SNP youth wing.

Not all the things mentioned will be important to you, but it’s not hard to see the contrast in the policies and to come down on one side or the other.

What kind of future do you see for yourselves? (Of course, you should remember, that Hard Brexit is only two words here, but it will affect many young people disproportionately. Forget travelling, studying abroad, Erasmus, European funding, settling down with a European partner. Think, isolated.)

atoryshamles

IT MAKES YOU THINK

 

athink
That ended well, didn’t it?
aaa
Maybe he’ll soon be doing that for a living?
Acon
Pretty unfortunate choice of words, Ruth.
a fluffy
You know, I use Twitter and Facebook and it never costs me that kind of money.
acosts
I’ve wondered why, if the EU costs us so much money, we’re going to have to put up taxes and cancel spending projects when we leave, as opposed to having money to burn.
adefence
Well, that could explain stuff.
aduncan
Ooops… mouth, foot, insert.
adennis
No, she will not.

 

 

amyth
Murray has been trying this one on us again.  He’s surely not stupid enough not to know this, so he must be lying.
aloved
Hey, Adam, we can feel the love. Hope you had a good St George’s day.
AWHAT
Good to see that the Tories will be campaigning on local issues. Ha bloody ha.
brex
Hmmmm, OK, now what, Tess?
aedl
It’s funny, these guys are protesting about women wearing the hajib. Still, they probably look better covered up.

TIME FOR ANOTHER LAUGH AT THE MESS THEY CALL BREXIT…

 

brex1
Not the smartest tactician, is she?
brex5
Didn’t realise that Better Together’s and pooling and sharing meant sharing beds in hospital…?
brex
You see, we don’t want to be part of this idiotic nonsense called the EU, but we do want them to headquarter their agencies here. Obviously, duh!
Brexid
And once upon a time, they told us that Spain would be an obstacle to independence.
brexi2
I guess that that is not too unreasonable.
Bells
Very British Scot… Britch… Whatever! We’ll never buy it again. Incidentally, why do Brits find it necessary to put massive UK flags on just about everything in the supermarket from eggs to geraniums?
br2
Like we’ve said, she’s not the best negotiator, is she? Erm, anyone know what she IS good at? Maybe we should leave it to David Da… No, sorry. Momentary aberration. What was I thinking? Let’s leave it to Mickey the Mouse, shall we?
brexitmud
Bless Fluffy. He’s always been easily confused. And all this has just been too much for him.
brexit
That’s the deal, guys. Take it or leave it… Oh no, just take it!
Britfasc
Proud flag …why not put it on a whisky bottle, and everything else you can see?
brex4
Aye, Amber, you’re going to need more of these visas. Like for doctors, nurses, care assistants, plumbers, shop assistants, builders ad infinitum… I’d get printing visas fast as you can.
brecitscotland
So what you are saying is that you’ll hang on to all the powers over Scottish public services so that you can trade them with America for the seriously crap trade deal you’ll get. Sell off our water, and our heath service. You’ll maybe find that hard to do. We probably don;t really want that. We can be thrawn, you know!
England Fans
‘Gibraltar is ours, you Spanish bastards’, they screamed in a drunken frenzy in Madrid before their team lost. You can tell the Brits. They are the drunk, pale, overweight ones. Nice one Leicester. You must be proud. (The Express seemed to think that the police were heavy handed and it was all their fault…well, they were foreign police after all.)
brex3
Ha ha ha ha ha …imagine anyone having ANY kind of faith in a Whitehall computer system, The USA companies they usually get to design, supply and instal them must laugh their heads off every time they get a contract that will certainly end up 2 times over budget and no earthly use.

 

WELL, THAT DIDN’T TAKE LONG

awar

So, here we are, four days into Brexit and we are already threatening war with a fellow EU member.

This morning the Tories, for some weird reason, wheeled out Michael Howard, who, as you might have guessed, is one of these noblemen the Tories keep locked away for just such purposes. You probably remember him best as Michael ‘Prison Works’ Howard, Michael ‘Are you thinking what we’re thinking’ Howard, or even Michael ‘Something of the Night’ Howard, but we must refer to him by his proper name The Noble Baron Howard of Lympne, CH, PC, QC. It’s only respectful. And we are nothing if not respectful.

abre2

Right, so the Tories dug him out from whatever dungeon they have been keeping him in, to remind us that a precious female prime minister, when a Great British territory was threatened, hastened to dispatch a mighty Task Force and, like Britannia herself, became the greatest military leader of all time.

Old Howard was, he said, sure that the current lady prime minister would not hesitate to do the same. Although she might have to ask President Hollande for a boat.

awar1.jpg

Now old Howard, for all he reminds even his colleagues of Dracula, used to be someone. Indeed, after Wee Willie Hague and then his grandad, Iain Duncan Smith, he was the third disastrous leader of the Tory Party to sit opposite Tony Blair on the opposition benches. So, I suspect that he was sent out to fly a kite that they should use military might to deal with Spain if they don’t get their way.

awar

If it goes down in a frenzy of red white and blue waving fascist nutters, then it may become policy. If not then the Tories can say that it was just some batshit mad old aristocratic senior citizen having had too much Port for breakfast.

One of the reasons that the EU was set up was to try to foster peace in a continent which had been constantly at war throughout a thousand years and more. Four days into Brexit and the Brits are sabre rattling. (Probably all they have to rattle.)

awar2

It may, too, have escaped Mr Howard’s notice that Spain is a NATO member and that NATO is a “one for all and all for one!” organisation. In short, if you attack one member, you attack all members. Oh well…

Fortunately not all talk today has been of war.

aIcelandic_Passport_Front_Cover

Brexiteers are making plans for the future. The Great British Passport all in blue will be making a return according to the Sunday Diana. (So usual caveats apply.)

awar2

And some fossil from the Telegraph wants Imperial Measures brought back.

12 d = 1/-; 20/- = £1; 12”- 1′; 3′ = 1 yard; 1760 yds = 1 mile… and don’t get me started on tons, hundredweights and quarters, chains, poles and gills!

aafar

I look forward to farthings’ return. A wren on the back, and, who knows, a portrait of Queen Victoria on the front.

Very Jolly.