I’M TELLING; WE’VE BEEN PUSHED AROUND BUY THE BIG FOREIGN BOY

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After more than two years of being ruthlessly pushed around by the EU, it is time for the UK to resist.

WHAT?

OK, so in my world (and clearly that isn’t the world of Eton, Oxford, Bullington Club, Westminster, and the Daily Telegraph), you haven’t been pushed around. And by “you”, I guess I mean England (and Wales) and your government.

You guys in the Tories decided to offer a referendum as a way of ensuring that people who disliked Europe would vote Tory and not UKIP in 2015. And to an extent, it worked.

Largely due to the UK voting system, your 11.3 million votes got you 331 seats, where are UKIP’s 3.8 million votes got them just 1 seat. Fair, huh?

Having got that far your right wing pushed Cameron to go ahead with the referendum, and he did, but in the absolute certainty (in his head) that he would win. And because of that certainty, he refused to allow any preparation for a possible no leave. Nothing.

When Nicola Sturgeon suggested that he just might lose, he told her not to be silly. Girls in politics, huh? What’s the Eton world coming to?

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So, when the result came in Dave fled for the hills,  beach, leaving whoever was his successor to pick up the pieces with not one single plan having been made. (It is worth noting here, however, that Theresa May had been the Home Secretary in the run up to the referendum, and so she knew that that was the situation when she applied for, and then got, the job.

Now a sensible government would have planned for both conceivable results. This would have meant in short order they could have put together a set of detailed pre-prepared proposals for leaving the EU, including how they would deal with the vexed (nigh insoluble) question of the Ireland/UK border, mindful of the conditions of the Good Friday Agreement and international trade laws regarding borders at the end of jurisdictions.

Replying to 

After 2 years of the EU responding to our decision to break up something we helped build with them, by giving us a range of Brexit options which we’ve rejected, it’s time you accepted that your whole plan is doomed to failure…

I mean you must that thought that through, right?

No?

Ah! Oooooooo K.

Not unreasonable the EU was pressing for some details as quickly as possible. Uncertainty affects both sides in these matters. And they undoubtedly thought that a country like Britain would ahve had plans in place. Of course they would…

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Somewhat optimistically, on March 31 2017, your prime minister triggered article 50 in a communication with the EU and shortly thereafter the UK’s Secretary for Brexit was invited to meet with the appointed negotiator for Europe.

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There we have a picture of David Davis and his bag carrier grinning like Cheshire cats and Monsieur Barnier and his assistants looking rather less cheerful. Could be because while the EU three had clearly done their devoirs,  David’s homework had, just as clearly, been eaten by the dog.

No wonder you were home for lunch.

And that has been the pattern ever since, only interrupted for the period when your prime minister decided that, contrary to all her previous protestations, she was going to waste a month of precious negotiating time on holding a general election.

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That just might have been acceptable if she had made a better job of appealing to people that she could do the job, but as it was, she lost her majority and was obliged to pay a bribe of £1 billion of OUR money to secure the voted of a minority party of religious bigots and retain her position.

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Because it is a group of 27 nations, each with a vote (and a veto) on the final deal, the EU has operated on a fairly strict set of rules. There has been no doubt from the first day of negotiations that the “four freedoms” which are the founding principles of the EU are not up for negotiation. Freedom of movement of goods, finance, services and labour makes the EU what it is.

They’ve told the UK time and time again you cannot cherry pick.

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Britain’s always reminded me of a bloke leaving the golf club but saying that he wants to be able to come in to the bar on a Friday for a pint with his mates, play a round of 18 on a Wednesday afternoon, oh and bring the other half in for a meal in the restaurant from time to time, all the while avoiding the annual fees and disregarding the management committee’s rulings.

The UK, on the other hand, is a group of four (five including Gibraltar) nations, none of which needs to be listened to at all (and one of which has grubby little beard snacking tea boys telling it to shut up).

The UK really needs to understand that the EU operates differently from Britain. I suppose you could call it democracy.

Your trouble is that within your own party, never mind any of the other parties in the Commons, you have divergent groups.  Remainers, reluctant leavers, and the hard right who genuinely seem to think that Beelzebub himself is in charge in Brussels. So whatever Soubrey and her like wants, you can guarantee that Rees Mogg and his band will want the exact opposite.

Then you have to add into that mix, the DUP. Bought and paid for with British gold, they will support you, but only if they get THEIR way on everything and no one ever crosses their blood orange red lines. And their way is, well, pretty extreme and definitely weird and based on a hatred of Europe that may be something to do with the religious makeup of some of the southern countries.

So basically your lot has made a complete pig’s mouth, erm I mean, ear, of the whole thing. No more and no less than we would have expected from a bunch of over-privileged underachievers.

We have now five and a half months till our leaving day and the UK still has no position that it can put to the EU and that Barnier can be fairly sure will pass through the UK parliament and therefore which he can recommend to the member states to go back and vote on.

And you think you’ve been pushed around. If I were Barnier, I’d have pushed you under this bus.

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Lord, Boris, you really are a tosser.

 

 

 

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Random Clusters in Birmingham

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Sorry about the shock to the system. We hope you weren’t about to eat. The sight of Boris in his under garments isn’t advised either before or after a heavy meal..or indeed at any other time.

So Boris spoke, after running through a cornfield like the naughty wee soul that he is…

Basically, he said he thought everyone should get behind Theresa May and push her off… No, sorry, got carried away there. Munguin made me say it, honest.

He said they should get behind her, but he also said that she had to ditch “Chequers” (the agreement, not the house), which she has already said is the only possible way forward.

So, if I understand right, he’s saying that they should get behind her if she adopts HIS policies.

OK, fine.

Is it just me, or is she starting to look like Mr Burns?

It has all made Mrs May “cross”.

I am wondering how concerned Mr Johnson is about the prime ministerial crossness. Making people cross is his business, after all, so I’m suspecting ‘not a lot’ is probably the answer to that. Still, even if he is, he has a new protector in the form of his new wingman, Ross Thomson. Obviously more interested in preferment in a Boris government than bothering about his constituents.

Adding to Tessy woes, the Irish Border problem is never far from the surface.

Queen Arlene of Orange has laid it on the line to the PM.

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If May agrees to any kind of border in the Irish Sea, then the support deal is off (‘what billion you paid as a bribe?’, she was heard to say). There must be no difference between Great Britain and Northern Ireland, well, obviously except in matters like abortion or gay marriage, or any other loonie stuff.

She also indicated that the Good Friday Agreement wasn’t sacrosanct… which I think she will find is a quite a large lie… and she may end up going to hell.

So battered from all sides, Mrs May has agreed to another interview but only with the BBC. No other channels are getting to speak to her. Mr Snow is not a happy man. And it is beginning to look like the BBC is the state broadcast in every sense. Still, if you want an increase in the telly tax…

Feel free to update me if I missed any of the disasters that befell them today…

Can’t wait for tomorrow. I bet all the minions are going around with superglue nailing letters to the wall.

What’s the theme this year? OPPORTUNISTS?

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Hard to take this in. But apparently, it’s not that unusual on the streets of London, where, according to Mike Dailly’s Tweet, a homeless person dies on average every couple of weeks. This, as the post says, in supposedly one of the richest and most advanced cities in the world.

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Much has been made of the fact that in October one of Andrew Saxe-Coburg Gotha’s daughters is getting married. She is styled and titled Her Royal Highness, Princess Eugenie of York. She is apparently 9th in line to the throne and has absolutely not the remotest chance of getting it. She does no public duties at all. She does, however, go on a LOT of holidays. It is her claim to fame.

However, she has decided that she wants an open carriage procession through Windsor, just like her cousin Harry (5th in line) got.

As far as I’m concerned she can have open carriage processions through Bratislava, Nuuk, Blaenau Ffestiniog and Oymyakon (Siberia) if she wants. Just the same as anyone else can if they have the money. The trouble is that this princess and her pushy father, Airmiles Andy, the Fat Old Duke of York, wants us to pay for all the security that will involve, at a cost of around £2 million.

I have no idea how much the royal family is worth but I bet that they can afford to pay for this nonsense themselves, and when people are dying of poverty on the streets of London, I find it offensive that the government is prepared to spend that much money on some spoiled posh girl whose claim to fame is going on holiday.

The usual, “oh, but think of the money that it will bring in in tourism in London” won’t wash with this one. I doubt if many people have even heard of her and I shouldn’t think that most people are in the least interested in her nuptials.

What do you think?

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I doubt many people would argue that Theresa May is the worst Prime Minister in living memory… and probably a good deal before.

She’s a dithering, wobbly, weak, croaky, cartoon character, who has no control of her party or of her MPs or of her orange-coloured bedfellows in the DUP.

She’s at odds with everyone, here, in Europe and in the USA.

She is utterly USELESS. My granny’s cat could do a better job and he’s dead.

And yet, despite all that, Corbyn comes in a poor second to her in a Yougov poll for the best person to be prime minister. It’s interesting that the most popular vote was NEITHER of them.

And just when we needed leadership more than we have needed it for 70 years.

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Thanks for BJSAlba for this one.
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It’s disappointing to see a second EU referendum being sold as a “democratic right”. If these groups care about democracy they’ll listen to the voice of the people, clearly expressed in 2016- to leave the EU!

Stephen Kerr is Conservative MP for Stirling, in Scotland.

Scotland voted 62% -38% to remain in the EU. Stirling voted 67%- 33%.

That’s two-thirds of his constituents.

Still, the English and Welsh voted to leave so … sod the people of Stirling.

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Mr Kerr’s other claim to fame is, as a high-ranking member of the Mormon Church, yes, I know we’re not supposed to call it that any more, he outed gay members. The Mormons are homophobic, it seems, except, of course, when they use a gay person to get elected to a high paid job.

I hope Stirling remembers that when the next election comes along.

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!apension

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

Arlene Foster (Niall Carson/PA)

Just eight hours after telling us that the proposed Irish Language Act (which is keeping the NI Assembly from functioning, and facilitating direct rule of the province from England)  was non-negotiable, Orange Arlene the Dinosaur Denier, said that “Red lines shouldn’t be placed above needs of the public”.

I don’t know who her god is, but presumably, she believes that he made the world and everything in it (including the Irish Language) in 6 days.

“So God looked at all he had done and saw that it was good, except for the pesky Irish Language, which clearly Satan had slipped in while he was on a coffee break.” Jeeeez.

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Israeli opposition leader, Isacc Herzog, has said that Israel is fast becoming a Fascist state. Oh well, I guess he’s another one of these anti-Semitic blokes going about, eh?

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After all the fuss that Labour and the idiot Murdo made about the Queensferry Crossing, it was, according to Audit Scotland, a well-managed project that came in under budget, although it opened later than anticipated due to worse than expected winter weather.

Auditor General Caroline Gardner said: “There is much the public sector can learn from the way Transport Scotland managed the project and it’s important that the good practice is shared more widely.

“The management of the project delivered value for money and achieved its overall aim of maintaining a reliable road link between Fife and the Lothians.

“Transport Scotland now needs to produce a clearer plan about how it will measure the success of the project’s wider benefits, including its contribution to economic growth and improved public transport links.”

Transport Secretary Michael Matheson welcomed the report’s findings and said a full post-project evaluation was planned for later in the year.

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!!!mundell

Apparently, they were daft enough to let Fluffy be a spokesman for the British Government on the Today Programme. Also apparently, he said absolutely nothing that was even half ways intelligible. Incidentally, BBC’s Today programme has lost 800,000 listeners. The decline in numbers comes amid criticism of the flagship Radio 4 show as it becomes a Tory propaganda broadcast. Fluffy ain’t going to put the numbers up again though!

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brexbus

While ScotRail continues to run the most reliable service in the UK, Southern Rail’s timetable has apparently won the Man Booker Prize for fiction.

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Brexit00
Anyone not thinking about eating rats must be anti-food.

Boris

 

SO HOW’S ALL THIS BREXIT STUFF GOING THEN?

Some hastily scribbled notes on the latest developments.

So we have eight-and-a-half months before we leave the EU. The last six of these are supposed to be for the consideration of the agreement between the UK and the EU negotiators by the Brussels parliament and by the parliaments of the 27 remaining members (including some regional or devolved parliaments).

So with effectively two-and-a-half months to go, the UK cabinet finally came to some sort of fractious agreement about a negotiating position, and, in keeping with the conduct of everything this Westminster government has done since Mrs May came to “power”, everything has fallen apart within hours.

Not only has David Davis resigned as Brexit Secretary, but two of his junior ministers have also gone. The department has been left even more rudderless than it was last week.

By anyone’s standards, the UK is in a bit of a laughing stock. In the two years since the referendum, until Friday, it had come up with no real suggestions about how to exit the EU. Friday’s agreement, unbelievably, was hailed as a success by May who then announced that the EU must now respond.

Probably before they do, though, they will want to read the proposals and meet new ministers “responsible”.

So far we know that Dominic Raab, a junior Housing Minister for the last few months, has been promoted to the Brexit cabinet post, arguably the most important job in government at the moment.

We don’t know a lot about him, especially in Scotland, because he’s an English MP and has been a relatively junior minister in English departments.

However, we do know that he is a solid Brexiteer, apparently trusted by the right wing of the party. In an earlier post at the English Ministry of Justice, he attempted to repeal the Human Rights Act and replace it with a British Bill of Rights. He failed, it is said, because he couldn’t come up with a plan that was legally literate. He was, they say, a slogans man. So Brexit means Brexit will be right up his street.

He also was a member of a Facebook Private group that advocated abolishing council housing and bringing back the workhouse.

That May appointed a man with views like that as a Housing Minister says a great deal about what kind of vision May has.

!!!!!AAA

Raab is quoted as saying: “Food banks are not about poverty but people with a cashflow problem”. So that’s OK then. (Maybe people would have fewer cashflow problems if Esther McVey would get her head out of lying backside and sort out the horrific problems of Universal Credit.)

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Warned by the Express? Aye right?  Maybe if the Tories could show some unity, it would be a start.

So, like I say, about 10 weeks to go before the final proposals have to be made and to call the government “chaotic” would be to compliment them.

I suppose that the next question is: What about Boris and his well-reported comments on the plan being a turd? I mean you can say what you will about Davis being lazy and incompetent, but at least when push came to shove he had the cojones to resign.

What about BoJo? Will he be gone by the end of the day? The BBC reports that he has gone into hiding and even the Whips can’t find him.

On the plus side, if he resigns it would mean that he won’t be obliged to meet with the Orange Moron this week.

Random Thoughts

We won, we won: let’s smash up an ambulance to celebrate.

London Ambulance would like a help to identify this dozy item who thought that the best way to celebrate England’s victory over Sweden was to trash a rapid response ambulance, taking it off the road and out of action. Unfortunately, she was not alone in her stupidity and criminal vandalism. Report her if you know her.

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Boris giving what passes for deep thought as to how he can stuff Maybot

Mrs May managed to hold her fractious cabinet together on Friday night with a threat that anyone who voted against her could collect their redundancy money as they handed in their red boxes and chauffeured cars at the door. Not surprisingly, given that it is 41 miles back to London and the local taxi company has gone out of business, none of them did. And as Fluffy was clearing up the dirty dishes and heading for a night spent with Fairy Liquid, the rest of them rode back to London in their ministerial limos.

However, by Saturday, cracks were appearing in the coalition of crackpots, as Boris described  Mrs May’s plan as ” a turd”. (In my opinion that was rather praising it.)

So who, I hear you ask, is the new Foreign Secretary?

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Esther McWhatsit.

Talking about people who need sacking, Munguin demands that we give official mention to the odious character, Esther McVey, and her lies about the National Audit Office’s report into Universal Credit. It seems to me that she is either an out and out liar or incredibly incompetent. Or, more probably, both.

She didn’t mislead parliament, she lied to it. Why is she still a Cabinet minister?

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oo
Not a beauty pageant then?

It’s the marching season. The time when the Orange Order marches to celebrate a battle which took place in July 1690 (I’m indebted to Panda Paws and Andi for the correct date). Yep, they are THAT up to date. But then, they only go back 6,000 years to the beginning of the universe.

These marches are frequently disruptive and aggressive in nature because their whole purpose seems to be to rub their ancient victory in the faces of the Catholics (against whom they won in the Battle of the Boyne.

One such march in Glasgow yesterday passed St Alphonsus Roman Catholic Church on London Road in the Barras. It did so just as members of the congregation were leaving the church.  Canon Tom White was spat upon and lunged at by a man with a pole and other members of the congregation were insulted.

Now, I am against banning people from marching, no matter how futile and stupid their marches may seem to me. However, all marches should be lawful and people behaving like savages shouldn’t be excused because they reckon that are doing it in their god’s name.

If these people want to march and can’t control their more boisterous elements, they must be kept away from places where they may be provoked into violence. Clearly, that must include religious institutions of any kind other than their own.

Orange Order members turned out for the Twelfth of July celebrations
Jeez, that flag clashes horribly with orange waistcoats. ‘Taste o’ an ingin” as my Gran would have said.

When there was an independence march in Glasgow a few weeks ago, Ruth Davidson condemned it because it was disruptive to the life of the city… roads had to be closed, and there was the expense of policing the march (on which, there was no trouble at all).  She has been remarkably silent about the various Orange Marches that have taken place in the last few weeks, including the one with her boss, Arlene, the deputy prime minister, in attendance.

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Ewwww.

I wonder why that would be?

Of course, it is typical of the Tories in Scotland to rush out with a condemnation of anything, absolutely anything, that the SNP does, without for a second considering how it might come back and bite them on the backside (as the tablet story did this week).

And given the number of Ruth’s councillors who have been involved in racist behaviour (and in some cases sexual offences) this question of hers didn’t date well…

arutha
Probably slightly better than you do, matey.

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!EXIT

IMMIGRANTS, HUH?

What would you do with them?

Well, clearly, in this case, you welcome the guy with open arms, because who on Earth wouldn’t want people like Mamoudou Gassama in their country?

President Macron did just that.

The evil Immigration Service in England would have had him in a detention centre and on a plane for Mali.

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Batty Boris has claimed that he is the first Foreign Secretary for 50 years to visit Peru and the first in 35 years to visit Chile and Argentine. Apparently, he suggested that being in the EU had made the UK more Eurocentric and less global than they had been before their membership.

He seems to not have noticed that the EU and Peru have a trade deal, as do the EU and Chile. This latter is currently being upgraded. So we have profited from the EU’s deals with these countries. We shall now have to renegotiate them from a less advantageous position.

Maybe someone should also tell Bojo that EU foreign ministers, or indeed other EU citizens are perfectly at liberty to visit any country they want. They don’t have to get permission from Brussels.

UK (and indeed Scottish) ministers frequently visit countries with which they/we want to do trade. There’s been nothing to stop him or any of his predecessors visiting South America or indeed anywhere else.

Finally, as a point of interest, if Boris thinks that the EU is a massive barrier to UK-Argentine trade, it might be an idea to remind him of Mrs Thatcher’s war in the South Atlantic.

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