I’M TELLING; WE’VE BEEN PUSHED AROUND BUY THE BIG FOREIGN BOY

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After more than two years of being ruthlessly pushed around by the EU, it is time for the UK to resist.

WHAT?

OK, so in my world (and clearly that isn’t the world of Eton, Oxford, Bullington Club, Westminster, and the Daily Telegraph), you haven’t been pushed around. And by “you”, I guess I mean England (and Wales) and your government.

You guys in the Tories decided to offer a referendum as a way of ensuring that people who disliked Europe would vote Tory and not UKIP in 2015. And to an extent, it worked.

Largely due to the UK voting system, your 11.3 million votes got you 331 seats, where are UKIP’s 3.8 million votes got them just 1 seat. Fair, huh?

Having got that far your right wing pushed Cameron to go ahead with the referendum, and he did, but in the absolute certainty (in his head) that he would win. And because of that certainty, he refused to allow any preparation for a possible no leave. Nothing.

When Nicola Sturgeon suggested that he just might lose, he told her not to be silly. Girls in politics, huh? What’s the Eton world coming to?

Image result for david camerons fat belly

So, when the result came in Dave fled for the hills,  beach, leaving whoever was his successor to pick up the pieces with not one single plan having been made. (It is worth noting here, however, that Theresa May had been the Home Secretary in the run up to the referendum, and so she knew that that was the situation when she applied for, and then got, the job.

Now a sensible government would have planned for both conceivable results. This would have meant in short order they could have put together a set of detailed pre-prepared proposals for leaving the EU, including how they would deal with the vexed (nigh insoluble) question of the Ireland/UK border, mindful of the conditions of the Good Friday Agreement and international trade laws regarding borders at the end of jurisdictions.

Replying to 

After 2 years of the EU responding to our decision to break up something we helped build with them, by giving us a range of Brexit options which we’ve rejected, it’s time you accepted that your whole plan is doomed to failure…

I mean you must that thought that through, right?

No?

Ah! Oooooooo K.

Not unreasonable the EU was pressing for some details as quickly as possible. Uncertainty affects both sides in these matters. And they undoubtedly thought that a country like Britain would ahve had plans in place. Of course they would…

Image result for article 50 letter

Somewhat optimistically, on March 31 2017, your prime minister triggered article 50 in a communication with the EU and shortly thereafter the UK’s Secretary for Brexit was invited to meet with the appointed negotiator for Europe.

Image result for barnier and davis first meeting

There we have a picture of David Davis and his bag carrier grinning like Cheshire cats and Monsieur Barnier and his assistants looking rather less cheerful. Could be because while the EU three had clearly done their devoirs,  David’s homework had, just as clearly, been eaten by the dog.

No wonder you were home for lunch.

And that has been the pattern ever since, only interrupted for the period when your prime minister decided that, contrary to all her previous protestations, she was going to waste a month of precious negotiating time on holding a general election.

Image result for theresa may lost the election

That just might have been acceptable if she had made a better job of appealing to people that she could do the job, but as it was, she lost her majority and was obliged to pay a bribe of £1 billion of OUR money to secure the voted of a minority party of religious bigots and retain her position.

Image result for theresa may goes to palace and meets queen

Because it is a group of 27 nations, each with a vote (and a veto) on the final deal, the EU has operated on a fairly strict set of rules. There has been no doubt from the first day of negotiations that the “four freedoms” which are the founding principles of the EU are not up for negotiation. Freedom of movement of goods, finance, services and labour makes the EU what it is.

They’ve told the UK time and time again you cannot cherry pick.

Image result for trump plays golf

Britain’s always reminded me of a bloke leaving the golf club but saying that he wants to be able to come in to the bar on a Friday for a pint with his mates, play a round of 18 on a Wednesday afternoon, oh and bring the other half in for a meal in the restaurant from time to time, all the while avoiding the annual fees and disregarding the management committee’s rulings.

The UK, on the other hand, is a group of four (five including Gibraltar) nations, none of which needs to be listened to at all (and one of which has grubby little beard snacking tea boys telling it to shut up).

The UK really needs to understand that the EU operates differently from Britain. I suppose you could call it democracy.

Your trouble is that within your own party, never mind any of the other parties in the Commons, you have divergent groups.  Remainers, reluctant leavers, and the hard right who genuinely seem to think that Beelzebub himself is in charge in Brussels. So whatever Soubrey and her like wants, you can guarantee that Rees Mogg and his band will want the exact opposite.

Then you have to add into that mix, the DUP. Bought and paid for with British gold, they will support you, but only if they get THEIR way on everything and no one ever crosses their blood orange red lines. And their way is, well, pretty extreme and definitely weird and based on a hatred of Europe that may be something to do with the religious makeup of some of the southern countries.

So basically your lot has made a complete pig’s mouth, erm I mean, ear, of the whole thing. No more and no less than we would have expected from a bunch of over-privileged underachievers.

We have now five and a half months till our leaving day and the UK still has no position that it can put to the EU and that Barnier can be fairly sure will pass through the UK parliament and therefore which he can recommend to the member states to go back and vote on.

And you think you’ve been pushed around. If I were Barnier, I’d have pushed you under this bus.

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Lord, Boris, you really are a tosser.

 

 

 

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SO, EVEN THE RIGHT WING OF THE TORY PARTY ADMITS THAT WE HAVE CEASED TO BE A DEMOCRACY

MUNGUIN WOULD ARGUE THAT WE NEVER WERE, BUT…

MORE BREXIT MADNESS

Iron Lady made of  Papier Mâché
brexit4
So, how many dead for Brexit?
b
Aye, the trouble is that most of them will be Mr Bun the Baker.

berex

b1
Well, that’s a relief.
b3
You just stick to what you’re best at mate, drinking and smoking.
b2
Pity that the easiest thing in human history is proving too hard for you, you bloody disgrace.
bre999
How long before they are calling on us to display the Dunkirk Spirit?
br boris eu
Well, well…
brex123
So Davis has gone, but is his replacement any less ridiculous?
brexit5
And, talking of ridiculous…
brexxi
Yes, Lord Bramall, it is. Indeed it is.
brex9
Stunning. What did she promise Dacre for that? Lord Dacre of Brexit?
breex
And today they managed to make their own policies illegal…
Breden
Oh yes. Let’s be like Denmark.

OK, LET’S LAUGH AT BREXIT…

…Because, according to Laura Kuenssberg, David Davis went to see Theresa Maybot today, being unaware of the latest plan to get the Cabinet, if not the Tory Party to agree on something that they can take to Brussels next week.

It didn’t go that well…

She writes:

“Hear that David Davis went in to see the PM this morning after not knowing about Number 10’s ‘new plan’, but left the meeting still not having discussed the ‘new plan'”

So… if he doesn’t know the plan, how can he sell it to the EU?

I suppose it doesn’t really matter that much. After all, it seems (from what I heard on the radio…maybe Mr Davis should try listening to his?) that they want to be in the single market for goods, but not services, people (except for Ireland) or finance.

Since day one Brussels has said that the four freedoms are not divisible and that the UK can’t cherry pick!

I suppose it’s just possible no one in Whitehall or Westminster knows what “divisible” means.

brex

Do you remember when Mr Davis first went to Brussels to meet with M Barnier… and Barnier and his team had all this paperwork and Davis had… erm… nothing? He was back in London by lunchtime.

EU's chief Brexit negotiator Barnier and Britain's Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union Davis attend a meeting in Brussels

And how at that point we all thought it would get better.

Hmmmm. How wrong we were.

And Scotland has come out of it worst.

bre

Rather like our own referendum, everything they promised has turned to dust.

And if that wasn’t humiliating enough, it’s frequently been this no-hoper who was responsible for turning it to dust.

Imagine, decisions being made about Scotland by the likes of him!

breex

Please, someone, rescue us from this…

berezit

!AB

DAISY, DAISY

!add

!DD.jpg

According to Sky, the crisis has been averted (also see Evening Standard). After talks with Davis (and Johnson and Fox) this morning, Maybot appears to have caved (in a strong and stable sort of way, of course) and agreed to a vague end date of 2021 or 2022 for the single market arrangement over the Irish border.

It appears that for the bulk of this parliament then, Mr Fox has no function as he won’t be able to sign a single trade deal, which I guess is more or less what a trade secretary gets paid for. Maybe we should make him redundant and save his ministerial salary for the next 4 years?

And all this is thanks to the fact that Arlene Foster owns Mrs Mayhem and will NOT tolerate ANY differences between Northern Ireland and Britain (except with regard to abortions, gay marriage and their PR electoral system, of course).

***********

LET’S LAUGH AT LOONIE BREXIT

corbyn
Which only goes to prove that they are as daft as each other.
bres1
So that Liam and Boris can fly around the world in luxury.
brex
‘Principle’, says David Davis! You have to giggle.
brex2
So, it’s odd then, Fluffs, that immediately England and Wales voted for it, it became a great opportunity for Scotland. How did that happen then, Pet?
brex1!
I supposed a burly man with 18 snarling dogs screamed that at you in the street, Ruth. Still, at least you weren’t pregnant at that time.
brexaf
Hmmmm… just at the time when we’ll be needing to home produce as much food as we can.
brexxi
Embarrassingly Colonel Davidson’s boss doesn’t seem to share her recently-adopted opinions that Brexit will be good for us.
brex123
Reported after David Davis made a speech in Germany.
bryng
The seriously sad thing is that, by the time any kind of serious arrangement with the EU is reached, a fair number of the people who voted for Brexit will no longer be around to enjoy it. In the meantime, the opportunities that had been available to them for 45  years of their lives will have been removed from younger people.