DON’T MAKE US LAUGH, MAY

I’m not sure whether to laugh or to be angry.

According to the Independent, Mrs May’s speech to the Tories little get together in Wales tomorrow, will talk about how Scottish independence would ruin Britain’s chances of getting a good deal from the EU in their Brexit negotiations.

In order to get the deal she wants, she thinks that Scotland must pull together with the “rest of the country”. England, I imagine she means.

She will call upon the Scots to get behind her plans (what plans?) because “we are one people”.

To assume this, given all the recent evidence to the contrary, her audacity must surely know no bounds.

In almost everything and in almost every way, we are very different peoples. In particular, over the Brexit deal she wants to get (and probably has as much of a chance of getting as Munguin has of being the next president of Botswana), we are completely different.

It seems to have completely escaped this woman’s notice that Scotland voted, not narrowly, but very conclusively, to stay in the EU. To be honest, even if we hadn’t I think there’s a fair chance we wouldn’t be backing the chaos her idiot ministers are sleepwalking into. There’s Brexit, and then there’s Brexsuicide.

She seems oblivious to the fact that we elected ONE single Tory out of the 59 Scottish MPs, to contribute to her government in London. One, and by a tiny majority. Whereas in England they managed by hook or by crook (and that might be an appropriate word) they elected  Tory government.

We are not one people Mrs May. We are two kingdoms and principality and a province, and we are all very different, with different economies and different needs. (And it might be an idea to remember that there is a British Overseas Territory which also has to be considered into the bargain.)

Whilst May’s party has set about tearing down the welfare state, removing benefits for some of our most vulnerable people, dismantling that part of the NHS over which they have direct control, making life utterly unbearable for the worst off, handing out tax reductions to some of the richest, and with plans to remove the UK from the ECHR she will have the brass neck to say: “Our Plan for Britain is a plan for a brighter future. A plan to make the most of the opportunities ahead and to build a stronger, fairer Britain that is more united and more outward-looking.” Stronger and fairer? Seriously? Fairer? Tell that to the people being assessed for PIP who are being asked why they haven’t committed suicide yet!

No, Mrs May, let me tell you, we Scots don’t believe a single word you say. Not you nor any of your hapless, self-serving amateur ministers, especially you blundering idiot of a Scottish Secretary.

We don’t want to leave Europe at any price, but certainly not under any deal that you or any of your team would ever be able to negotiate. Seriously: David Davis, Boris Johnson. Liam Fox? Liam Bloody FOX???? Please!

Scots didn’t vote for your vile cruel, self-serving, incompetent government. And we don’t want it. if you are comforting yourself that you made a small headway in our General Election, compared to your General Election a year earlier, then you should remember that it is because Labour is even more pathetic than your lot. And remember too that the improvement was largely made in list seats.

Remember standing in front of all those empty seats? Well, go look at the crowds of cheering people in Aberdeen today for OUR leader.

We won’t get behind you. We won’t back your plans(?), which almost undoubtedly mean selling Scotland out, as your predecessors did. We have friends in Europe. They like us. They like our first minister. I suspect that they don’t like you much.

KNOW YOUR PLACE, SCOTLAND

 

It was always my opinion that Theresa May was foolish not to have accepted the ruling of the English High Court when they said that the UK parliament should have the final say on triggering Article 50.

Much better to accept it, put it before parliament and move on.

After all, it seemed to me unlikely that parliament would vote to disregard the result of a legally held, even if not binding, referendum. Tory MPs would, I thought, by and large support the government’s view and enough Labour MPs would most likely vote the way that their constituents voted (largely leave) to ensure that the Bill to give the government permission to remove us from the EU with all that entails, would pass.

For some odd reason, however, May decided not to accept the British judges’ British justice and instead take their case to the UK Supreme Court with an appeal, which they have now lost. (Never mind the cost though, we’ve got piles of cash!)

Those papers, like the Diana and the Heil, who considered the High Court judges to be “enemies of the people” for pointing out what the law stated, must by now have added the Supreme Court judges to that list. I suppose that we shall have to provide police protection for these judges too, lest the hatred that the Mail and Express, the Star and the Sun whipped up, erupt into some sort of violence. (Never mind the cost, we’ve got piles of cash, again!)

So, it was never about whether Article 50 would be triggered or not. It was about the law. About whether the power of the Crown could deny parliament its say in this case.

It is fairly important when embarking on a stupendously important piece of legislation, that it should be done legally. And surely it was better to find out now that Royal Prerogative was not a legal means of triggering this article than in say 9 months’ time when embarrassingly someone points out to David Davis that he didn’t have the power to proceed, has broken the law, and all his negotiations are invalid. Oeuf sur le visage, or what? Oops sorry, that’s foreign!

Indeed you would have thought that somewhere in the massive organisation that is the British government, there might have been someone who would quietly advise them of how the law stood on these matters. Clearly not, though. Such is the joy of having either an incompetent government that doesn’t understand the law of its own land or, more likely, an egotistical one that refuses to listen.

In any case, there is now to be a bill on Article 50, and they could have saved themselves a month (and a lot of our money) had they just known a bit more, or listened a bit more.

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UK Supreme Court unanimous that this is not a devolved matter. Comprehensive defeat for the Scottish Government.

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The Supreme Court also ruled that the opinions of the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish parliaments/assemblies need not be considered.  The matter is a UK one and not for devolved governments.

This was greeted with much glee by Professor Tomkins who tweeted joyfully that this was a blow for the Scottish government (something he obviously relishes), seemingly unaware that his own government and prime minister had received an equal, if not greater, blow at the hands of the Supreme Court.

In fact, unless the Supreme Court had ruled that any one of the devolved administrations could overturn the Westminster parliament’s decision, it was never going to make any difference.  Our opinion may have had to be legally sought, but it was never going to change anything. And why should it? If England has 85% of the population; it has 85% of the clout.  No matter how strongly we, Northern Ireland or Gibraltar feel, we are simply too small to call the tune.

(This is NOT a criticism of the judgment of the Supreme Court. They have interpreted the law as it exists. I’ve no argument with that.)

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Retweeted your Retweet
2h:

So it is as we suspected – the “most powerful devolved parliament in the world” is just a branch office that has no say or authority at all.
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Is it a blow to the Scottish government?
Well, hardly, I’d say. Au contraire! Oops, sorry, foreign again.
The Supreme Court has effectively ruled that we are not equal partners in the union and are not necessarily entitled to our opinion being regarded. It simply legitimises what we have always said. It’s an unequal union.
Mr Tomkin’s “comprehensive defeat” will probably convince some waverers that the Scottish legislature is, as someone once famously said, “a wee pretendy parliament”.

ISN’T BREXIT FUN?

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It’s not an unreasonable interpretation, and I don’t doubt that it’s true, particularly when you consider where the majority of Leave votes came from. But, as you may remember, there were no questions on the ballot paper about levels of general satisfaction or dissatisfaction. Just a simple “Leave” or “Remain”. bexit10

What Mrs May is saying, it seems to me, is that in England and in Wales, with administrations run by the Tories and Labour respectively, people are fed up. Britain doesn’t work for them. They are not listened to. No one cares. Queens live in palaces, MPs get pay rises, Lords continue to be paid for sleeping while pensioners have to pay the bedroom tax, kids are hungry, and people sleep in the streets. They are dissatisfied, and because the tabloids have told them for years that everything,

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that was wrong with Britain was wrong as a result of the UK’s membership of the European Union, and foreigners/immigrants being here, they chose to vote to leave.

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Mrs May might like to take a lead from the administrations in parts of Britain which did not vote to leave the world’s biggest trading block: Gibraltar, Northern Ireland and Scotland, if she is looking for inspiration on how to make things work for people who didn’t go to Eton or Oxford; maybe those who don’t have titles, aren’t royal or indeed who hold other “celebrity status”.

And given that both Northern Ireland and Gibraltar have close cross-border ties with their “foreign” neighbours, and therefore have a desperate need to stay attached to Europe, if I were her, I should concentrate on how things are done in Scotland.

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Mrs May indicated yesterday in a nervous jittery stammering tv interview that there was little chance of the UK remaining in a single market with Europe, the result of which was that the pound lost 1% of its value. This may be seen as another disappointment for people who haven’t been listened to.

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You see, that WASN’T what folk were led to believe, at least by the ever hopeful Mr Davis.

And you could understand, given the current mess of the English Health Service before the worst of the winter has actually happened, that people may be wondering where the £350 million a week that it was promised on the side of that bus, has gone.

If I were Mrs May I’d start delivering. Reducing tax for the better off and imposing bedroom tax on pensioners, allowing people to die after 30+ hour waits on trollies, having to depend on the Red Cross for medical care isn’t what folk were expecting. And frankly, an extra few million for mental health issues that apparently affect 25% of the population, is a slap in the face to the sufferers and clinicians alike.

Oh, and for those that thought that all would be well with their workplace, here’s a little reminder of the way the trade secretary’s mind is working (if you can read that without choking with laughter).

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Aye, that’s your job that will be deregulated. Enjoy!

TRUMP EXPLAINED IN A THREE-BOX CARTOON

NOW, HOW CAN WE EXPLAIN BREXIT?

What happened was that Americans were fed up with the way their country was run (a bit like the Brits were) as you can see in the first picture.

So, unlike in the UK, it is possible to change that. Shake a stick at it (see second box of cartoon), by electing someone from the left field (OK, in this case, the right field). Someone totally different; someone with no Washington DC experience, Senate or House; someone with no State experience, Governor, or local government; someone with no military or legal experience.

Someone, in fact, with the world’s weirdest hair. Someone who is Orange and lives in a Las Vegas-like tower of glitter and gold. Someone who makes Liberace’s taste look cultivated. Someone who is racist, sexist and pokes fun at people who are disabled. Someone who despises gay people brags he can get off with any woman, and sends himself congratulatory tweets before he’s even in the job.

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There, that should do it, or not, as you can see in the third box of the cartoon.

In the UK, Scots had the courage to throw out a lot of dead wood. People who had been lurking around the back benches for years, getting fatter by the day, and some who thought to stride the world stage as statesmen, mighty leaders. And they replaced them with lawyers, doctors, surgeons, estate agents, all brand new to this House of Commoners lark…  and threw in a rookie 21 year old who had to get a day off for graduation and turned out to be a star.

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On the other hand, England decided that Ed  Miliband looked a bit of a dick when he was eating a bacon sandwich and voted instead for a man who actually was a bit of a dick, who thought that really all that mattered was standing up straight, wearing a good suit, doing up one’s tie and singing lustily “God Save the Queen”. A man who was so conceited he thought he could talk Joe and Jo Soap into voting for the EU, after he and his ilk had spent the last 40 years blaming everything that went wrong on that very thing, with the help of their odious mates in the gutter press.  A man who failed, however, to convince people, and having done so, slid out the back door and off to make a fortune following Blair round the world selling himself like an exclusive rent-boy in a good suit and straight tie singing “God Save the Queen”.

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And thanks to him we have the singularly inept “Mayhem” of a prime minister, leading a bunch of third raters and, with probably the most momentous thing to happen in the UK since WWII about to befall us, she has placed our futures in the hands of a clown and a couple of mindless drips with no understanding of…well, anything.

I dunno who is worse off.

A RACE TO THE BOTTOM

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Danny, our man in America, sent me this.

So, what do we have so far on them? A potential Education Secretary that doesn’t like public schools and prefers that the Church run education; a Heath Secretary that hates Obamacare; and a possible Secretary of State who had an affair with a woman with whom he shared top secret documents… Splendid.

Oh yeah, and in the middle of the night I heard that Dan Quayle had been seen entering Trump Towers, so I’m imagining a Secretary for Potatoes.

Yep, the USA is definitely going to give the Brits a run for their money with Boris, who doesn’t know much about bridges, Davis who doesn’t know much about the EU, and Foxy who doesn’t know much about anything.

ERM, ISN’T STEALING STREET SIGNS…

…NOT JUST A CRIMINAL OFFENCE, BUT IN SOME CASES DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS?

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Because it’s far more sensible to have £:s:p, yards: feet: inches, gallons: quarts: pints, tons: hundredweights and quarters,  stones: pounds: ounces. Obviously.

Still, the Daily Mail seems to think he’s a bit of a hero, and I bet the Daily Diana is fizzing it didn’t get the story first. It would probably recommend him to the queen for a knighthood.

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Oh, yes, then there was this bloke who seems to be unaware of just how utterly ridiculous Boris Johnson is, not to mention David Davis and the unbelievably hapless idiot Liam Fox, and that they are all led by someone with the well-deserved nickname “Mayhem”.

Talk about zero diplomatic know-how or ability!

Really, Prof Tomkins, have a wee word with yourself, will you? At the moment you are a liability.