RANDOM ROYAL THOUGHTS

!£

As most of you will have gathered, neither Munguin nor I give a twopenny damn about royals and indeed some English bloke marrying an American woman is a yawn to us. Frankly, I don’t much care when a member of my family gets married, never mind one of their family? But it has headlined in the news so much over the last few days, and it must have been a godsend to the Maybot, whose circuitry must be close to blowing a proverbial gasket, that Munguin wanted me to mention it here.

So, just after Kensington Palace announced the betrothal, the Brit government announced quietly that most benefits wouldn’t be raised yet again this year. With inflation at 3% and expected to rise, that is an out and out scandal.

*********

It seems that Meghan is a Tory.

Quick lunch break and watched David Cameron’s parting speech. What a class act 👏🏼👏🏼

Not really a class act if you have to live here as an ordinary person, Meghan (not like a duchess, as you will, obviously). He called an unnecessary referendum in an effort to save his backside from a possible rise in UKIP voters. He made a mess of tryying to renegotiate Britain’s relationship with the EU. He mishandled the referendum campaign and allowed people like Gove, Johnson and IDS, Patel and others to tell the most egregious lies about, amongst other things, NHS funding and immigration.

He refused to allow the civil service to do any preparatory work for the eventuality of a Leave vote, because, quite simply, he believed that people like him never lose anything, so that when Brexit hit us, the government was utterly unprepared.

Having promised that he would stick around and continue as prime minister if he lost, he announced early the very next day that he was standing down, but he would remain an MP. Then he quit as an MP.

He’s left the most unholy mess. Whether you are a remainer or a leaver, it is impossible not to see that the whole thing is being unbelievable badly managed by an incompetent prime minister and a set of nut job cabinet ministers at war with one another and who seem incapable of getting a single thing right.

Class act is not a description I recognise.

**********

Staying on the subject of Harry’s wedding, I read in the Telegraph that they are to be married in St George’s Chapel in Windsor. I also heard that Meghan is a divorcee. Colour me perplexed.

Edward VIII had to abdicate to marry his American divorcee.

aann

Anne got round the Church of England’s ban on marriage of divorced people who have a spouse living, by coming to Scotland where the Church of Scotland has no such ban. Charles got round marrying Mrs Parker-Bowles while Mr Parker Bowles was still alive, by getting married in a registrants’ office (although he sneakily got the archbishop of Canterbury to bless the wedding, making a bit of a fool of the rules, after all, it is about the fact that marriage is till death do you part).

I was wondering when the Church of England changed their views on marrying divorcees. Anyone know?

**********

Another royal who suffered at the hands of the English Church and the seemingly sometimes flexible unwritten constitution was Michael. He wanted to marry Princess Pushy an Austrian noblewoman, but because she was a Catholic, he had to give up his place in the succession, because it was unthinkable that a Catholic could ever get anywhere near the throne.

a arlene

I rather liked this picture of our Arlene meeting Captain Birdseye (alias Michael of Kent). I’m not quite sure what she’s doing, but it’s an embarrassing time to get caught short!

**********

Of course, the Daily Express couldn’t let the announcement pass without Diana popping into the office, presumably through a medium, and giving them her views on the thing.

a exp

**********

Anyway, as I would with any couple, I wish them the best. They will have it, of course. Many homes, paid for by us. First class transport, paid for by us. The best in clothes, paid for by us. Fabulous holidays, paid for by us. Servants, paid for by us. And presumably we’ll be paying for the blue blood transfusion as she becomes a duchess.

I was happy to hear that the royals have agreed to pay, out of their £60 billion fortune, some of the cost of the wedding. However, I suspect that the gigantic cost of security will be yet again borne by… you and me.

**********

 

 

Advertisements

I’LL JUST LEAVE THIS HERE…

Mrs Merkel may be able to soldier on at the head of a difficult coalition, but she has lost substantial authority for her EU policies.
**************
Oh dear, Mr Redwood,
OK, to start off with Angela Merkel has a PhD. And she’s German. So she isn’t “Mrs Merkel”. My best guess at her title is Frau Doktor Merkel. (Ed will correct me, I’m sure, if I got that wrong.)
I can’t help thinking that, although it’s a small point, it would probably help international relations a little if Brits didn’t always assume that their way of doing things was the only way.
amerk
Secondly, you may be forgetting that, like the Germans, the Brits just had a General Election.
Unlike the Germans, it was one held by choice rather than legal necessity.
And, as I recall, Mrs May has managed to soldier on at the head of a difficult uneasy coalition with a hard Christian fundamentalist party, thanks to a large wodge of taxpayers money harvested from this elusive magic money tree which could not be persuaded, only weeks before, to fruit for nurses.
Of course, Mrs May’s policies on Europe have to some extent been saved by the fundamentalists (as long as no one refers to anything having happened any more than 6,000 years ago, anything gay, or any kind of abortion plans), but as her policies on Europe have been limited to: “Brexit means Brexit”; “Brexit will be red, white and blue” and “No deal is better than a bad deal”, I’m not sure that that is of any great matter.
amay1
Mrs May never really had much in the way of authority, having been the “best of a terrible bunch” candidate when Cameron broke another of his promises and stepped down.
She became a figure of fun during the subsequent unnecessary and disastrous election campaign (which she had promised not to have), playing, in closed factories, to houses little bigger than the crowd that failed to turn up to see her speech in New York, and having doors slammed in her face.
However, since she lost the election she has become an international figure of ridicule. The phrase “strong and stable” will never have quite the same meaning again.
Most leaders have ups and downs. Mrs May only seems to have missed out entirely on the ups, but then you’d really be stretching things to call her a “leader”.

‘MY FAIR’ LADY, MR BARROW MAN AND THE ISLE OF MAN

amone

Fancy that! She got herself a seat on the £300 + a day gravy train and a snooty title for services to being anti-SNP,  and the reason was given that she could be David Cameron’s business Tsar or Czar… like it was impossible to do that without being an aristocrat.

And then she showed such great business judgment that she hitched up with this Barrowman fella, for details of which read the linked article.

The sweet story of a duchess and a barrow boy…

Oh, wouldn’t it be lovely….

NO MORE FREE MEALS FOR ENGLISH KIDS?

afreeafree2afree5afree1

And, of course, this.

Now surely, all of these people aren’t really in need of a free dinner, or in IDS’s case, breakfast. If we are going to bring in austerity means testing, because we are such a broke little country, and about to be even more broke, probably people like Cameron and May should be means tested to see if they earn above the threshold for a free dinner at the expense of taxpayers.

Whit’s guid tae gie’s no ill tae tak, eh Tess?

Grateful thanks to Cllr John Edwards for the idea and some of the pics.

LETTER FROM MUNGUIN

adebate4

Dear Mrs May,

Since you became prime minister of your united kingdom, you have consistently said that you won’t have an election outwith the 5-year cycle that your predecessor introduced in order to discourage political opportunists from having elections when it best suited their party.

You said only the other day that the people were getting behind you in Brexit (although we presume that you meant English people because from where we are sitting in the Kingdom of Scotland, we see no sign of it), so it cannot be that you feel that you have need of endorsement for your Brexit policies despite the, to our eyes, apparent abject failure of most of what you are trying to do.

So we aren’t entirely sure why you are doing this. It may indeed be that very political opportunism which Mr Cameron wished to avoid (with a prod from Mr Clegg). Certainly, Labour is very weak, whether in England under Mr Corbyn, in Scotland under Ms Dugdale and possibly even in Wales under Mr Jones. By going for an election that you calculate you cannot lose, you may hope to extend your tenure of the top job from 4 to 6 years without much trouble from the main opposition party.

adebate1

Beware, however. No matter how unpopular Labour may be we’re not certain that there are many seats that it can lose. You might say that they are relatively close to ‘core vote’. What’s left now would rather eat their own feet than vote Tory. And, two years down the line from the disastrous coalition, the Liberal Democrats could pick up some of the seats that the Conservative took from them in 2015, particularly seats which are largely pro-EU. Whilst there is a possibility that you might take a Scottish seat or two due to a mixture of Labour’s uselessness and the fact that your tank commanding lady in the sole serious representative of the British Bulldog in its red white and blue splendour. We’d not count on you getting too many, though (remember the rape clause REALLY went down badly here), and it’s not beyond possibility that you will lose Fluffy, his coat being on what we would call a shooglie nail. (Although we dare say that’s a ‘disaster’ you could cope with.)

adebate2

In any normal circumstances, we’d assume that any government would have taken all of this into consideration before embarking on this ‘brave’ endeavour. But with the government you lead, given your record thus far, one can never be certain that things have been thought of, never mind thought through.

It has been the custom over the last few elections, here in Scotland, in the UK and farther afield, for party leaders to take part in debates on live television in order that the population may find out what it is voting for, directly, if you’ll pardon the expression,  from the horses mouths, as opposed to the glossy wishlist stuck through doors (which, in the majority of cases, make their way from doormat to bin without passing Go, or collection £200 as it were). It’s all very well to say in a leaflet that you are going to do this, that and the next thing, but it is far more interesting to see policies dissected by opposite numbers, don’t you think. Almost entertaining sometimes.

adebate

And, of course, that works both ways. You get the chance to question other party leaders’ policies, live in front of the peoples of your united kingdom.

We understand, though, that you have said quite categorically that you will not take part in any tv debates with your opposite numbers.

We can only guess at your reasons for doing this, but we trust you understand that the public will demand that these debates go ahead with or without your participation.

Yours sincerely

001

Munguin

PS: You might have had the decency to allow the local elections taking place all over Scotland to be over before you made your announcement. I say you might have, but clearly, you didn’t.

PPS. What will happen to the 30 Tories who are under police investigation in England for cheating with their election expenses? Surely until they are cleared they cannot possibly be candidates in a further election? How can we guarantee that they will not cheat again?

***************************

We just saw this corker of a front page:

adebate6

She’ll KILL off Labour, SMASH rebel Tories and it will be blue MURDER.

Nice measured language, The Sun.

OH DEAR, OH DEAR, OH DEAR

%c2%ac%c2%ac

Change of heart there, then, Mick? I mean something that was unconstitutional at the end of  2015 can’t have become constitutional by the beginning of 2017, unless there has been a change in the constitution. Has there?

%c2%ac%c2%ac%c2%ac

Maybe instead of banning  Muslims from countries that Trump Enterprises doesn’t do business with, you could try banning Americans, or maybe guns? Even armed toddlers seem to be more of a menace than Jihadists.

 

Wish we had an alternative administration. One with a brain cell or two would be nice.

Right, I think, but, oooops, that’s your bosses new best friend ever!

trumpq

An orange and gold angel?

theresa-may

What was she thinking of?

Remember when David Cameron, in the job only a matter of weeks and green as a cabbage, headed off to Egypt to proclaim the Arab Spring and associate himself with the Egyptian revolution? The first Western leader to do so. Indeed the only Western leader to do so. Well, as a matter of fact, the only leader anywhere to do so. How did that end? Egg a plenty splashed all over his coupon, that’s how!

So, given how volatile we all know the American president can be, and given the tone of some of his campaign promises, why oh why did this woman, herself hardly experienced in running the country, take herself off to grovel to him before she studied him a little more carefully?

Easy. She needed the promise of a trade deal from him. Doesn’t much matter what trade deal, just a trade deal, any trade deal. And she threw in a promise. At this stage! Can you believe this? The most frightening aspect of TTIP, which had been being negotiated with the USA by the EU, the access of American companies to our health services, seems to have been incorporated into her proposed deal.

I note wiser and more experienced heads have been much more cautious in their approach.

monarchy

And now, of course, she’s lumbered herself with a state visit… and rumour has it that Donald wants the whole thing. State banquet at Windsor, golf at Balmoral. All the tra la la that the Brits can offer, in spades. Trouble is that it is being met with a considerable amount of opposition from ordinary Brits. An online petition against a State visit, on the government site has, at the time of writing, reached an incredible 1,378,000 signatures. And the number is rising at about 1,000 a minute.

According to the rules, a petition that gets 100,000 signatures is given consideration for a debate in parliament. May already dismissed this petition on its first day (again a foolish thing to do). It will be interesting how far she is prepared to ignore a substantial public voice. And tonight, all over the UK there are protests planned. Will she ignore them too?

Furthermore, when the state visit comes, is she ready for the demonstrations that will greet him everywhere? And how will she deal with them? Water cannon?

Andrea Leadsom Pulls Out Of The Conservative Leadership Race

The trouble for her is that Hell hath no fury like a Trump scorned. Ask Alex Salmond who went from being the best politician in the world to the devil incarnate, almost overnight. I’m betting that there are times she wishes she’d let Andrea Whatever she’s called, the unknown fox hunter person, win. It would have been her nightmare then.

Update: Glasgow Anti-Trump.

glasgow

Petition currently at 1,450,000 7.10

Update II: Edinburgh

edinburgh

Update III: Dundee

edinburgh

Update IV: Parliament

parliament

Update V: This is fun

It appears that the Foreign and Commonwealth Secretary is displeased about comparisons being made between Trump and Hitler. Mr Maugham points out a small flaw in this thought process:

3h3 hours ago

What, like Boris himself did when talking about François Hollande and “punishment beatings” in a “World War two movie”?

Take that, Boris.

Update VI: Aberdeen

parliament

RANDOM THOUGHTS

 

Disagreeable old woman, oh sorry “lady”. She’s an aristo, don’t you know?

 

**********

Citigroup has shifted from warning about moving jobs from Britain to firming up plans to do so by picking specific destinations, according to an article in the Indy. I wonder what kind of financial incentive this broke country can offer them to stay.

**********

**********

Donald Trump has increased membership fees to his Turnberry golf club by £700 per annum.  The 38% rise takes the fees to over £2 500 per annum. Serious stuff.

**********

 

That just might be an offence, although your falsified votes are unlikely to have been counted. Even if you and your mates are a bit dim, the people counting the survey probably aren’t. Oh, and it’s “my pals and I” you silly boy. Here’s a wee tip. When you don’t know which pronoun to use, take out the other name(s). Would you say “me sat and made up 40 people”? No?  Well, why would you use a subject pronoun when you’re on your own and change it to an object pronoun when you add a few mates? Duh!

**********