A posh boy plan that has gone horribly wrong!

WHY, OH WHY, DID NO ONE THINK OF THIS BEFORE THE REFERENDUM?

I suppose the answer is that David Cameron promised an EU referendum in order to dissuade members of the Conservative Party, MPs and voters alike, from switching to UKIP.

His argument, as I recall, was that if people voted UKIP the likelihood was that they would get but a few MPs, who would be in opposition and who would have no power to offer a referendum. MPs crossing the floor might or might not be re-elected. (In the event only one of the floor crossers was reelected and he subsequently left UKIP and sat as an independent MP.) 

However, if people voted Conservative, he, their prime minister, would call a referendum on Britain’s (and Gibraltar’s) future in the European Union.

Of course, Cameron didn’t believe for a second that he would have to actually call a referendum. When he was making these promises, the polls showed very clearly, that a Labour win was on the cards.

And even, had Labour not won, for the Conservatives to form another government they would have needed a coalition with the Lib Dems, and Cameron knew that Nick Clegg would make coalition dependent upon there being no referendum. (Clegg subsequently lost his seat in the 2017 election called by Theresa May to boost her majority, which left her in minority government, dependent for her existence on a hastily arranged, ill-advised and very expensive confidence and supply arrangement with a party from Northen Ireland. A party which back Brexit, against the will of the Northern Irish people.) 

Smug, and satisfied as ever, Cameron thought he had it all in the palm of his hands.

Then disaster.

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No one had reckoned what a chaotic, useless and ultimately disastrous campaign Ed Miliband would run. He started off looking like little could stop him from becoming the next prime minister and ended up resigning and returning to the backbenches.

But Cameron, in a way, had also lost. He was left with little alternative but to call a referendum.

Still, the Eton boy, Oxford and Bullingdon culture pertained. He would win. Nothing would stop him. (And when Nicola Sturgeon reminded him that he might lose, he told her not to be silly.)

So, then he lost, and although he had previously promised to stay on and sort out the consequences of his referendum, he resigned as prime minister, and although he had further promised to stay on and serve his constituents, he resigned his seat in parliament, and took to a seriously expensive shed (£25,000) at the bottom of the garden to write his memoirs. (Apologies to Jacob for the comma before “and”.)

Being so sure of himself, as is his way, Cameron had failed to think about the consequences of his original plan and consider that it might, just might, go wrong.

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And so today, having gone through 3 years of chaos with Theresa May dithering, holding an unnecessary election, losing cabinet members, signing an agreement with the EU, which was then rejected three times in parliament, and finally resigning to be replaced with something even worse… we are facing a hard Brexit, where there will likely be massive job losses, losses of rights, rising prices, falling standards, chaos and possibly riots. And, although it probably won’t initially affect the mainland, a possible return to civil war in Ireland.

Ironic, isn’t it, that this whole project was designed to keep the Tory Party together.

A thick posh boy plan gone horribly wrong.

The Tory party is split like never before, indeed some Tory MPs have crossed the floor and some are threatening to bring down the Tory government. A Tory ex-Prime Minister is threatening to take the government to court. Labour is split, and has lost MPs, and is utterly unfit for purpose. UKIP has split and largely been replaced by a party which has no policies except getting the UK out of Europe. The UK is split by countries and may end up dissolved. And Ireland is facing civil war.

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Bravo, Dave, you wanted your legacy to be the “Big Society” (whatever happened to that?) and now it will be the probably break up of your precious union and of your party.

You complete and utter roasted posh boy wally!

IF ONLY MAYHEM THE MAYBOT HAD LISTENED TO DONNY THE DIPSTICK

We might have had a deal like he’s managed with China or North Korea…

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After all, he did “write” a book called “The Art of the Deal”, didn’t he?

[Note from Munguin: Well, no. He didn’t. According to Chapter 2 of “Fire and Fury” (Michael Wolff, 2018) the author claims that Trump’s co-author, Tony Schwartz said that Trump hardly wrote any of the book and it is doubtful if he’s even read it all!]

Seriously though, Trump wouldn’t have been out of place in the cast list of the Whitehall Farce that is Brexit, along with the other main cartoon characters:

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The porcine posh boy; the posh but tasteless haystack who never grew up; the vicar’s cornfield destroying daughter; the disgraced DOCTOR; the lazy tosser; the flocconaucinihilphilicating faux aristo; the drunken ashtray … and the orange knob.

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What a team!

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

This is a sharp reminder that intelligent people do change their minds when incontrovertible facts are presented to them. We need to present these facts as clearly as we can and then be ready to welcome, with open arms, the people that they convert.

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As predicted by some, this morning three Tories crossed the floor of the House of Commons and joined the Labour MPs who, over the last couple of days, have left the Labour Party.

This raises some questions.

Is it a flash in the pan or is it the beginnings of a reshaping of British, or rather, English politics. (There are no Scottish MPs involved and politics in England and Scotland are very different, the one from the other.)

If the independent group grows, as some predict it will, and its numbers overtake the number of SNP members, will it become the third largest group in the Commons, and entitled, in place of the SNP, to a front bench place and automatic questions at PMQs?

And should that happen (which it may well not) what should the SNP’s response be?

And, do Munguinites think that it should be compulsory for members who were elected under the banner of a party and that party’s manifesto, to stand down if they leave that party regardless of which parliament and which party?

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Thank goodness they voted Tory.  Because, if this is strong and stable, I don’t think I could have withstood weak, wobbly and chaotic. (Note to self, look up the definition of chaotic.)

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Billy the Bigot is in a bit of a snit at the BBC, until recently, seemingly his close and trusted friends.

It seems that the story he gave about being invited on to the BBC’s Question Time shows has been denied most fulsomely by that august British institution’s management. And our Billy Boy isn’t happy about being called out as a liar.

He’s has been going back through his diary and has tweeted: “I sat down and looked up all the Q.T shows I was on and got all the dates and people who were on panel and I’m so tempted to blow the lid on BBC again… 4 times NOT EVEN CLOSE, if BBC want to start I’m ready”.

Oh, the joys to be beheld when besties fall out.

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A FIENDISHLY CUNNING PLAN…

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I often wondered how David Cameron could have been stupid enough, what with all that expensive education, to think that a referendum on the EU would somehow pour oil on the troubled waters of  the civil war in the Tory party between the people like Ken Clarke, Anna Soubry on the one hand, and Liam Fox, Jacob 18th Century and Michael Gove et al, on the other.

The barest intelligence would have concluded that bringing the argument, kept bubbling under for 40+ years, to the forefront of political life, was only likely to add oxygen to the fires of discontentment in his party.

Now it seems that Donald Tusk has released information about conversations they had which may throw some light on his motivations.

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It appears that our esteemed ex-prime minister failed to realise how being associated with his toxic party had damaged the Liberal Democrats and that, as a result, their seats in parliament were so diminished that there was no coalition, but, in fact, rather surprisingly, a small majority for the Conservative party, and thus no coalition partner was available to stop the folly and take the blame.

(It was a small majority which his successor would manage, in, unbelievably, even more incompetent style, to lose.)

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And as a result of his misjudgement, the Tory party, which he thought he could bring together with the referendum plan (and then blame the Liberal Democrats when it all fell apart) is now engaged in what seems to some may be a terminal civil war.

Oh well, if nothing else good comes out of Brexit, the damage that it will have done to the toxic Tories is a small chink of light in the darkness.

Of course, there is a far greater prize awaiting Scotland!

THIS BLOKEY THINKS HE’S PART OF A RESPONSIBLE GOVERNMENT

So, let’s see if I got this right. They aren’t going to use the army, but they have 3,500 personnel on standby. Presumably for absolutely nothing? Good use of personnel, guys, and given that since you outsourced your recruitment to Crapita, you can’t get anyone to join, what are you going to do? Ask the Chelsea Pensioners?

The worlds biggest buyer of fridges for storing medicines?  They are storing drinking water (in fridges)?

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(We have plenty of that in Scotland! We can do a reasonable rate if you buy in bulk.)

But this roaster says …you’d expect any responsible government to do take these steps.

I tell you what I’d expect a responsible government to do, matey.

I’d expect them to have prepared for a no vote before the referendum. What kind of idiots would have failed to consider that they could lose? Oh yeah, the over-privileged Eton Boy, David Cameron. ‘Nuff said.

Having lost and not having done ANY preparatory work, I’d have expected them to NOT trigger Article 50 until they had a collegiate response to the situation, you know, something like a realistic plan, maybe that they could put forward to Europe.

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I’d have expected a responsible government to NOT have a General Election (breaking the fixed term parliament act) and then go on to lose their majority.

I’d have expected them NOT to bribe, of all parties, the bloody DUP, with £2 billion of OUR money to get them to keep the hapless prime minister’s incompetent backside in Downing Street. Lord knows, she was useless enough before she tied herself to that bunch of extremists with their blood red lines.

I’d certainly NOT have expected them to still be fighting like cats and dogs amongst themselves, never mind any of the opposition parties, and never mind the EU negotiators, with fewer than 100 days to go before we drop out by default, over the edge of a cliff.

I’d expect them not to take a Christmas holiday while this crisis was happening. If they have to sit in parliament on Christmas day, tough cookies.

No deal is better than a bad deal

I’d expect them not to wait until the middle of January to bring back the delayed proposals, (which were definitely going to be voted on last week, you’ll remember) to parliament, you know, once they’ve returned from skiing in Megève or sunbathing in the Maldives, and blackmailing their own MPs to either vote for them or crash out into oblivion.

I’d have expected a responsible government to have behaved like a responsible government. But I’d have expected it with realistically very little hope. They told us that no deal was better than a bad deal, and the bad deal they have negotiated is now better than no deal? Only in Toryland.

So it is a HUGE surprise to me that, far too late, they are facing up to the fact that they may be about to bankrupt us all, and split their party… and that they have started taking emergency power to themselves.

Although, frankly, the thought of morons like them having any kind of emergency powers and what they might do with them, scares the s**t out of me.

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AND SO THIS IS BREXIT, I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN

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When you think about it, before Cameron promised the referendum he should have had impact assessments done for every area of life, in every area of the UK.

Then, once the referendum was a live thing and the campaigns had started, the impacts could have been made public and preparation should have been underway in all departments.  Perhaps it would have dispelled the nonsense of £350m a week to the NHS.

Immediately after the referendum, then, the incoming PM could have been ready to start negotiations with the EU.

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Cameron was stupid to think he could unite his party by calling the referendum, and arrogant beyond belief to believe he couldn’t lose it. (He did believe that. Eton boys don’t lose stuff, you see. They always get their way.)

But he was criminally negligent to order that NO preparation at all be made in any department for a leave scenario. For that negligence, he should be in court.

Not that any of this is meant to imply that I feel sorry for May.

I don’t. She knew what she was getting in to. She knew that not a thing had been done. She had, after all, been Home Secretary. Maybe she thought she was clever enough to sort it. If so she was most definitely wrong.

Or maybe she was so desperate to be prime minister that she simply didn’t care that the job was well beyond her capabilities.

But even taking all that into consideration, she’s had over two years to sort something out. (Or she would have had it she hadn’t messed about with a general election in which she lost her majority, paid a £2 billion bribe to Arlene for her support and then was stuffed when Arlene didn’t get everything she asked for.)

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We are now within the last few days available for negotiations and … Well, you pretty much know where we are.

But here’s a few things to remind you anyway:

Spanish PM Pedro Sanchez reiterated in a press conference with Portuguese PM last night: if there’s no solution on Gibraltar he will say No to Brexit Deal on Sunday.

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Theresa May was unable to make a breakthrough in Brussels yesterday evening with Jean-Claude Junker, despite last-ditch talks over her  Brexit deal.

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It might have helped if idiot ministers had told the truth.

Well, apart from the fact that it wasn’t remotely true, Ms Mordaunt, we used to have a veto, when we were full members of the EU. We could have stopped the accession.

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Expert witnesses at have just confirmed to me that this means preferential tariff-free access for fish caught by NI registered vessels under . A significant blow for industry.

So, I’m assuming that, unless David Mundell has found yet another excuse (athletes’ foot always worked for me at PE), his resignation will be on Maybot’s desk when she gets in from her unsuccessful meeting in Brussels.

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I’M TELLING; WE’VE BEEN PUSHED AROUND BUY THE BIG FOREIGN BOY

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After more than two years of being ruthlessly pushed around by the EU, it is time for the UK to resist.

WHAT?

OK, so in my world (and clearly that isn’t the world of Eton, Oxford, Bullington Club, Westminster, and the Daily Telegraph), you haven’t been pushed around. And by “you”, I guess I mean England (and Wales) and your government.

You guys in the Tories decided to offer a referendum as a way of ensuring that people who disliked Europe would vote Tory and not UKIP in 2015. And to an extent, it worked.

Largely due to the UK voting system, your 11.3 million votes got you 331 seats, where are UKIP’s 3.8 million votes got them just 1 seat. Fair, huh?

Having got that far your right wing pushed Cameron to go ahead with the referendum, and he did, but in the absolute certainty (in his head) that he would win. And because of that certainty, he refused to allow any preparation for a possible no leave. Nothing.

When Nicola Sturgeon suggested that he just might lose, he told her not to be silly. Girls in politics, huh? What’s the Eton world coming to?

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So, when the result came in Dave fled for the hills,  beach, leaving whoever was his successor to pick up the pieces with not one single plan having been made. (It is worth noting here, however, that Theresa May had been the Home Secretary in the run up to the referendum, and so she knew that that was the situation when she applied for, and then got, the job.

Now a sensible government would have planned for both conceivable results. This would have meant in short order they could have put together a set of detailed pre-prepared proposals for leaving the EU, including how they would deal with the vexed (nigh insoluble) question of the Ireland/UK border, mindful of the conditions of the Good Friday Agreement and international trade laws regarding borders at the end of jurisdictions.

Replying to 

After 2 years of the EU responding to our decision to break up something we helped build with them, by giving us a range of Brexit options which we’ve rejected, it’s time you accepted that your whole plan is doomed to failure…

I mean you must that thought that through, right?

No?

Ah! Oooooooo K.

Not unreasonable the EU was pressing for some details as quickly as possible. Uncertainty affects both sides in these matters. And they undoubtedly thought that a country like Britain would ahve had plans in place. Of course they would…

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Somewhat optimistically, on March 31 2017, your prime minister triggered article 50 in a communication with the EU and shortly thereafter the UK’s Secretary for Brexit was invited to meet with the appointed negotiator for Europe.

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There we have a picture of David Davis and his bag carrier grinning like Cheshire cats and Monsieur Barnier and his assistants looking rather less cheerful. Could be because while the EU three had clearly done their devoirs,  David’s homework had, just as clearly, been eaten by the dog.

No wonder you were home for lunch.

And that has been the pattern ever since, only interrupted for the period when your prime minister decided that, contrary to all her previous protestations, she was going to waste a month of precious negotiating time on holding a general election.

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That just might have been acceptable if she had made a better job of appealing to people that she could do the job, but as it was, she lost her majority and was obliged to pay a bribe of £1 billion of OUR money to secure the voted of a minority party of religious bigots and retain her position.

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Because it is a group of 27 nations, each with a vote (and a veto) on the final deal, the EU has operated on a fairly strict set of rules. There has been no doubt from the first day of negotiations that the “four freedoms” which are the founding principles of the EU are not up for negotiation. Freedom of movement of goods, finance, services and labour makes the EU what it is.

They’ve told the UK time and time again you cannot cherry pick.

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Britain’s always reminded me of a bloke leaving the golf club but saying that he wants to be able to come in to the bar on a Friday for a pint with his mates, play a round of 18 on a Wednesday afternoon, oh and bring the other half in for a meal in the restaurant from time to time, all the while avoiding the annual fees and disregarding the management committee’s rulings.

The UK, on the other hand, is a group of four (five including Gibraltar) nations, none of which needs to be listened to at all (and one of which has grubby little beard snacking tea boys telling it to shut up).

The UK really needs to understand that the EU operates differently from Britain. I suppose you could call it democracy.

Your trouble is that within your own party, never mind any of the other parties in the Commons, you have divergent groups.  Remainers, reluctant leavers, and the hard right who genuinely seem to think that Beelzebub himself is in charge in Brussels. So whatever Soubrey and her like wants, you can guarantee that Rees Mogg and his band will want the exact opposite.

Then you have to add into that mix, the DUP. Bought and paid for with British gold, they will support you, but only if they get THEIR way on everything and no one ever crosses their blood orange red lines. And their way is, well, pretty extreme and definitely weird and based on a hatred of Europe that may be something to do with the religious makeup of some of the southern countries.

So basically your lot has made a complete pig’s mouth, erm I mean, ear, of the whole thing. No more and no less than we would have expected from a bunch of over-privileged underachievers.

We have now five and a half months till our leaving day and the UK still has no position that it can put to the EU and that Barnier can be fairly sure will pass through the UK parliament and therefore which he can recommend to the member states to go back and vote on.

And you think you’ve been pushed around. If I were Barnier, I’d have pushed you under this bus.

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Lord, Boris, you really are a tosser.

 

 

 

MAKES YOU PROUD TO BE BRITISH (SHUDDER)

I’m indebted to Grafter, who sent this documentary as part of the last post.

I knew the City was corrupt and that Britain was a sham of a decent Western democracy. I just don’t think I knew by how much.

I’m reminded of the time that Cameron, hosting a conference on corruption (being something of an expert, I have no doubt given the revelations in the Panama Papers), said something to the Queen (also mentioned in those papers), the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Speaker about Nigeria and Afghanistan being the most corrupt nations in the world.

If I remember rightly the Archbishop did pull him up about the fact that he was out of date (what else would you expect from an airhead like Cameron?) and that the current president was anti-corruption.

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And the Nigerian president replied that he didn’t want an apology. but he would appreciate it if perhaps all the money being stolen from his country by corruption and invested in London might be intercepted and returned by the  British authorities.

Of course, as Britain is also a fabulously corrupt country, Cameron had no reply and I shouldn’t think for a moment that that ever happened.

WHAT A PRAT…

So, David Cameron tweeted this.
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And Rachel Clarke answered

I know just what you mean. My equivalent mother-son moment was first, calmly explaining how his generation’s future was sold down the river by a man who cared more about personal power than an entire country’s future. Disbelief, sadness & anger followed. What a life lesson.

Game, set and match to Dr Clarke, methinks… and LOL (lots of love???) to Cameron!