THIS COULD PUT YOU OFF YOUR SLEEP

Applies to the next permanently appointed Conservative Party Leader after Theresa May.
Jacob Rees-Mogg
4/1
Matthew Hancock
50/1
George Osborne
66/1
David Davis
9/2
David Lidington
50/1
Nicky Morgan
66/1
Boris Johnson
6/1
Liz Truss
50/1
Jesse Norman
66/1
Amber Rudd
9/1
Johnny Mercer
50/1
Liam Fox
66/1
Gavin Williamson
10/1
George Freeman
50/1
Ed Vaizey
80/1
Andrea Leadsom
10/1
Priti Patel
50/1
Owen Paterson
80/1
Ruth Davidson
12/1
Graham Brady
50/1
Grant Shapps
80/1
Michael Gove
12/1
Alan Mak
50/1
David Cameron
100/1
Jeremy Hunt
16/1
Chris Grayling
50/1
Anna Soubry
100/1
Philip Hammond
16/1
Stephen Crabb
50/1
Jo Johnson
100/1
Tom Tugendhat
16/1
Robert Halfon
66/1
Iain Duncan Smith
100/1
Justine Greening
16/1
Kwasi Kwarteng
66/1
Theresa Villiers
100/1
Dominic Raab
18/1
Nick Herbert
66/1
Adam Afriyie
100/1
Sajid Javid
25/1
Daniel Hannan
66/1
Ken Clarke
100/1
James Cleverly
25/1
Zac Goldsmith
66/1
Maria Miller
100/1
Penny Mordaunt
33/1
Michael Fallon
66/1
Ben Bradley
100/1
Greg Clark
33/1
Heidi Allen
66/1
Nigel Farage
100/1
Damian Green
33/1
Rishi Sunak
66/1
Nick Boles
100/1
Anne Milton
40/1
Tobias Ellwood
66/1
William Hague
150/1
Rory Stewart
40/1

 

Still, look on the bright side. There’s not a mention of this useless muppet, even thought they are looking at the likes of Nigel Farage as the next Tory leader.
!mudd&
One view is that no one wants the job until May has completely and utterly wrecked any chance of a deal of any sort. Someone (anyone) could then step in a make a show of making the best of a disastrous job.
Crashing out with no deal (which you’ll remember May said was better than a bad deal), will be a red line for Remainers in the Tory Party, of which there are many.
Alternatively, signing up for a deal that will mean that the UK remains in the single market, customs union, takes the EU’s directives in most areas, accepts rulings from the ECJ, and pays more or less what it pays now (but doesn’t get Farming subsidies, Academic subsidies, Social Fund subsidies, Infrastructure subsidies) will be unacceptable to the Tory Leavers, of which there are also many.
Surely that must happen later this year (October) when the deal has to be agreed between Barnier and May and sent out to parliaments across Europe, and of course the EU parliament, for 6 months of debate and discussion before ratification.
By that time something concrete about the Irish border and the Spanish-Gibraltar border will have to have been agreed. And as that is a near impossibility, I’d not put money on the Maybot surviving much longer than it all coming crashing down then.
I suspect that next year’s conference it will be more than slogans falling off the walls. and the P45 will be real.
Just for a laugh, we’d like to know who you think would make:
a) a serious next leader who could repair at least some of the mess she and Cameron left.
b) which of the above (or others) would make the best comedy leader.
c) which of them would be most likely to lead to Scotland voting to leave the ridiculous mess and possibly rejoining the EU as an independent country.

49 thoughts on “THIS COULD PUT YOU OFF YOUR SLEEP”

  1. It has not put me off my sleep. However, it has put me off my dinner…

    Rees-Mogg is a jobby in a tweed suit and a posh accent with views that make Torquemada look like a lefty liberal snowflake. I vote for him as the Tory Most Likely To cause the maximum number of Scots to run screaming to the lifeboats.

    For the rest – I can´t work out how to derive any comedy from the space formed by mapping the candidates onto the three-dimensional coordinates representing their stomach-churning appallingness, their bone-headed stupidity, and their jaw-dropping incompetence.

    Maybe I just don´t have the imagination to convert black farce into black comedy.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. P.S. I am well aware that ad hominem attacks are no substitute for argument. That said, there are people who occupy such an extreme category of awfulness that all the rest of us – those with any sense, anyway – know instantly and almost instinctively that they must be kept away from any position of any authority whatsoever over other people. Trump is one such. Thatcher was another. Pinochet. Rees-Mogg is in that league. There, that´s my opinion, for what it´s worth.

      Liked by 5 people

      1. Can’t say I disagree.

        Rees Mogg is a caricature. A silly little man who acts out his dream of being something of a comic opera figure.

        We don’t really know much about the real him, except that he is an out and out hypocrite … staunch Roman Catholic voted against all manner of churchy stuff (abortion, gay rights, etc) but is part of a consortium that sells contraceptive pills to people in the East.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Ah well, Tris – and here I channel the ever-so-fragrant Jacob Rees-Mogg of the Whited Sepulchre – their souls are damned anyway, don´t you see, with all those heathen religions those savages practice? And not only that, they are non-White, which means that they are quite the worst sort of Johnny Foreigner imaginable! So everything we can do to take their money and stop them outbreeding us is obviously a Great Good Thing and All In God´s Plan.

          By the way, what sort of father would saddle any child with the name ¨Thomas Wentworth Somerset Dunstan¨?

          Liked by 1 person

          1. And then there’s:

            Alfred Wulfric Leyson Pius King
            Sixtus Dominic Boniface Christopher

            Still, at Eton they won’t be out of the ordinary. It’s not like they are going to Wolverhampton Comprehensive.

            Like

    2. LOL Fair enough.

      I wonder though, if the threat of the comic figure of Rees Mogg, the 18th century country squire being their leader, isn’t enough to put most Tories off having a leadership election.

      May may be a tragically bad prime minister, but at least she lives somewhere in the later part of the 20th century.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. a) Rees Mogg’s nanny; she is the obvious evil mastermind pulling his RP strings. Her name’s Crook FFS.
    b) Rees Mogg, he can tell a good joke. Tugendhat’s name has potential though.
    c) All of the above. Although Col. Gunstraddler abandoning Scotland for a safe seat in England to become Fuhrer might prise open a few Tory eyelids.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. He’s a hereditary Tory MP. Also a Colonel in the Terries, albeit a real one. A degree in Islamic studies and he’s seen service with the Green Slime* in Afghanistan and “learned Arabic” in the Yemen; he may or may not have been wounded.

        *They glue maps together and try to look intelligent. I hung around with them when I was a very small boy.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I suspect so, although it would be an argument that, even given the impossibility of some of these people, Fluffy is even less plausible. In short, the cat is farther up the pecking order than Fluffs.

      This isn’t a bad article by Toynby. Of course, it neglects to point out (as, in fairness, did my article) that the Labour Party is in no better position.

      https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jan/28/brexit-passions-tory-theresa-may?CMP=share_btn_tw

      Like

      1. What a distasteful shower they are. The whole thing could be taking place in a country a million miles from here and very different from this one…

        I would dispute Toynbee´s description of Amber Rudd as ¨normal¨. There´s nothing normal about calling for firms to list the foreign workers they employ, and that´s exactly what she did at that Tory Party conference not all that long ago. I´m sure that most Scots feel quite sickened at the prospect of living in a country where that is considered ¨normal¨.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I hang my head in shame every time that b******s name is mentioned.

      I could never survive that twat becoming P.M. it’s bad enough living knowing he is “el Supremo” of Scotland!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Moggy at 4/1 is indeed a testament to how hard up the country is for political talent. All the bollocks I’ve heard him talk has been in favour of a super hard Brexit where we, by implication are all living in tents, queuing up each day in an orderly fashion to compete for work from the saw bosses. “I coulda bin a contender”, any Marlon Brando like figure could claim, but I fear there ain’t gonna be no light at the end of the tunnel after the kicking we’re going to get. (Hope you got the On the Waterfront reference there, tenuous as it was)

    Given there’s no opposition to the Torys as such. Corbyn being a never was flush, busted flush, and the bunch of no-hopers we’re left with who consequently give us no hope, while he collects his wages for doing bugger-all. When we have the likes of Ruth Tank Walloper, shouty, talentless bully, I’ll stick up for any single issue as long as it suits me Davidson, at a heady 12/1 even though she doesn’t even have an English seat yet. Does that not, in itself, speak volumes?

    Ooh! The desperation!

    We’re in the unenviable situation, dear blogger, where we are absolutely unable to anticipate any outcomes advantageous to the ordinary UK Citizen regarding what comes after Brexit.

    Im afraid though, that no matter the politicians rhetoric, the really painful, brutal, inescapable truth is, neither can they.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Not sure I can add to that.

      Domiic Rabb was the first name on the list @18/1 that I thought had any ability at all.

      They actually have Damien Green on the list!

      Like

  4. I don’t believe there is a viable candidate for b)
    For b) and c) Boris or Jacob
    I think Boris has the slight edge for either position.

    Like

    1. Well, yes… which is why I think that they might be best to stick with the robot.

      But I wonder if the reason that they will stick with her isn’t that if the removed her and installed any of the others, the people would be calling for an election. It was a bizarre trick to have one election in the period of leaving the EU, but two elections?

      And hopeless though Corbyn has turned out to be, he might just win, because I’m not sure that the DUP would manage to get 10 members this time round.

      Like

  5. Correction:
    I don’t believe there is a viable candidate for a)
    For b) and c) Boris or Jacob
    I think Boris has the slight edge for either position.

    Sorry clumsy fingers in the early morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Some unknown could win as Major did, steady the ship with an office manager.
    Reece Mogg I cant see winning, the fact that people will laugh every time he appears anywhere will put them off him.
    Neil Findlay Scottish Labour MSP, isn’t a socialist, looks like he enjoys the champagne lifestyle and talks a lot of shite.

    Bruce

    Liked by 2 people

  7. The going is mucky and treacherous here at The Torytoffs Brexit Jockeys Handicap. As they move into the last furlong, it’s The Reesmogg, a real dark horse, just ahead by a longish nose from Davis. The Boris, with his floppy mane, is still in contention at third but he’s looking tired. The Amber, Gavin, the old filly Loathsome, Fat Ruth and The Gove are pretty much in a bunch a bit further back and there’s little to choose between them. The remainder of the field are trailing much further back and, barring a catastrophe at the front, look like complete no-hopers. The finishing post is almost in sight and soon one of that leading group will cross the line as winner. No doubt looking forward to being first to get the old muzzle back in the trough again. Let’s not forget, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. The favourite, Maybot, was supposed to make the running but eveything changed when the old nag fell at the first fence and had to be put down. And, with a final spurt, the winner is…

    Liked by 3 people

        1. He liked his expenses, charging the taxpayer for accommodation even though his house was only 45 minutes away from the Commons.
          Yet another reason to call him sticky fingered.

          Liked by 2 people

    1. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

      That’s the trouble with wifi. You loose connection at the wrong moment.

      I suppose we’ll never know who won now.

      Oh well. Now what to have for lunch!

      Like

  8. As far as Scotland is concerned, it really doesn’t matter who is the next tory leader. Anyone on your list could qualify as the devil incarnate, people who couldn’t care less about Scotland, and its people. Except of course from plundering our wealth, which they have been doing very successfully for hundreds of years.
    The tories, the red tories, almost the complete M.S.M, and not forgetting the people I despise the most, the fifth-columnists amongst us, persons who are more than willing to take the Westminster Establishment’s gold, or stick-on “honours”, usually accompanied by a seat in the H.O.L
    All of these people want Scotland to fail, to be in complete subservience to their masters at Westminster, and if we don’t take the next opportunity to become an independent nation once again, then the present gerrymandering of the few powers possessed by Scotland, under the guise of an exit from the E.U, will lead to the emasculation of the Scottish Government, and the eventual demise of our Scottish Parliament.
    Maybe it’s my age, but I feel if we don’t achieve our goal in Indyref2, then we are consigning future generations of Scots to years of penury, which no matter who is in power at Westminster, will make sure we suffer, for daring to try to become a proper country once again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. Somehow it has o happen this time round.

      I don;t recognise most of the names, but of the ones I do recognise, Davidson, Gove and Fox are the only Scots, but they are Brits through and through. Gove has even perfected an English accent.

      None will serve us.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. We think it is far out for Ruth the Mooth to be on that list. Yet Nigel Farage is also on it at 100/1. The way this world is totally messed up Donald Trump should be on there too! Probably at shorter odds than Nigel.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Rees Mogg is the ideal PM after May. He is so far out of touch that Brexit negotiations will be a disaster, and “we” will walk away with no deal.
    So changing the tide of opinion in Scotland toward independence and a quick return to the EU.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, that seems like a plan.

      What we need is something to destroy the Tory Party and Moggy looks like the job. That said Mayhem is doing a really good job of that, at least.

      And if, as you say, the catastrophic no deal crash comes about…well, we have a get out.

      Like

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