WELL, NOW THEN, THERE’S A THING

OR TWO

Boris Johnson’s daddy is apparently applying for a French Passport… a real one, a red one… not a blue one made in Poland by a French company, like ours will be… in order to escape the rigours of  Brexit Britain. Rachel Johson thinks she might have one too because their mother is of French nationality.

It would be hard to make that family up.

************

Erm, yeah… You know you’ll probably only get an MBE or something Stephen, don’t you?

************

Anyone ever going to go into a Wetherspoons bar again?

**********

But… the plus side is Blue Passports!

************

This horoscope seems to be relatively accurate. Well, I never!

************

 

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Despite a reduction in our grant the numbers of staff in our NHS has continued to increase.

Hang your head in shame, Rudd.

Most people who go to sleep at work get sacked.

 

We realise that the other day we gave some publicity to the Daily Express. It is only just then, that we give some publicity to other racist newspapers.

I like Derek Mackay's response here. pic.twitter.com/PdagErTJds

— Robert (@RobDunsmore) January 8, 2019

Oh, well, if it is God’s will…

This was the best two minutes of my life
pic.twitter.com/wYY6gjYA22

— triv 🥀 (@bedroomflicker) January 8, 2019

What a clever wee soul.

Be warned.

NOW HOW DOES THIS WORK EXACTLY?

Let’s see if I can get this right.

The Daily Mail told us that Brexit was a good idea. It even seemed to go along with the notion that we should get £350 million a week for our health service. This picture was taken from the Mail.

So with all that extra money that we will have to spend as of the 29th of March, why on earth would we need to have volunteers. Surely we will be able to pay people to work in the NHS.

If we get volunteers to do all the work, what will be done with the £350 million a week that is coming as what Mrs May calls the Brexit bonus? I mean there are only so many royal palaces we can do up, and we’ve already set aside the money for Buck House and the Palace of Westminster so that our royals and MPs and lords should be housed in a fashion suiting their own sense of magnificence.

I suppose we might just put the dosh toward the HS2 railway line from London to Birmingham, which seems to have fallen flat on its butt, along with Crossrail in London. (You’d have thought that all the sneering they do about Scottish projects, they might have managed to get their own projects finished not too much over budget and not too late.)

Anyway, if you have any suggestions as to why we should seek to recruit volunteer nurses and doctors, porters and cleaners… please let me know. Maybe it’s something they did in the war and they hope it will work in the wilderness that is Brexitland… I don’t know.

But if I were a retired brain surgeon (which I’m not), I’d make sure they didn’t know my address, otherwise, I might find myself volunteering for 60-hour a week shifts for not a penny piece, while we punch on above our weight.

Dr Philippa Whitford‏Verified account @Dr_PhilippaW

FollowingFollowing @Dr_PhilippaW

Dr Philippa Whitford Retweeted James O’Brien

To replace the EU nationals that this Tory Government is driving away after Daily Mail campaigned for #Brexit #Hypocrisy

Oh look, Phillippa has come up with the answer while I was out for Munguin’s milk.

You see, it doesn’t much matter how much money you have if all the staff are leaving and you have no one trained to replace them… so maybe you will be having your x-rays read by auld Mrs McTomshie fae doon the road. I mean she was good on the tea leaves!

Did someone say Brexshit?

Random Brexit Thoughts

**********

Keith Brown MSP‏Verified account@KeithBrownSNP

FollowingFollowing @KeithBrownSNP

H & S Committee hearing Brexit has caused huge increase in vacancy rates for Care staff & ability to carry forward at least current standards is “threatened by Brexit”. Those we want to be cared for will suffer because of Brexit.

**********

**********

According to a study carried out by Oxford Economics, unless we come to a good arrangement with the EU over immigration, we will need to increase taxes, by up to 5p in the pound.

It seems from their studies that immigrants make a greater net contribution to the state than natives do. This may be because they arrive already schooled and ready to start work, and a great number of them retire back to their home country and save the country the cost of old age.

“If the UK’s new relationship with Europe involves reduced migration, this analysis suggests the tax burden on others will have to rise”, they say.

The figures are laid out here. in the Independent.

**********

**********

It occurs to me, as Mrs Strong and Stable croaks on about the “will of the British people”, that no one really knows what that is. Least of all Mayhem herself.

She didn’t even know what Brexit was, except that it was Brexit, and it was Red, White and Blue.

UK wide, 48% of the people were motivated to vote for Remain, but of course, 52% voted to leave.

Almost everywhere you look the UK is split about what it should mean. The Tories and Labour are both split. England and Wales voted one way; Scotland, NI and Gibraltar the other way. And Brexit, which the idiot prime minister couldn’t define, means different things to different people.

My point is that “the will of the British people” (or 52% thereof) probably comprises a pretty wide spectrum of points of view.

What did Neil of Newcastle, Sally of Stoke on Trent, or indeed Cathy from Clachnacudden or Billy from Blaenau Ffestiniog actually vote for?

Some will have read excellent pieces online, on blogs or Twitter.

And some will have read in-depth financial reports from learned academics. Others will have taken the Financial Times and daily faithfully ploughed through it.

Many more, I suspect though, will have been influenced by the headlines in the Sun, Telegraph, Star, Express and the Devil’s own journal, the Daily Mail. After all, who can forget the story of an old woman being carted off to casualty with a broken arm the day after the referndum, and demanding to know why the Iraqi doctor that was treating her had not gone home.

They will have seen this kind of thing, daily on the newsstands.

They will have read about £350 million a week that we apparently send to Brussels and which they have promised to dedicate instead to sorting our four ailing health services in these islands.

And they will have swallowed the line repeated everywhere about taking back control of borders, laws, and money (eh? Never understood that!).

If this is true, surely any kind of deal, which, remember, will require compromise on both sides, will not be suitable for them. You can’t take back control and then immediately cede it. Can you?

No, I suspect that many of these people voted to strike out on their own.

No deals. No compromises. No foreigners. No foreign laws. Nothing. Nada.

Just “Rule Britannia”, iconic blue passports… or to be more accurate…passeports bleus iconiques and “Dieu et Mon Droit” (bloody foreigners get everywhere).

It will break,  and with a bit of luck break-up, the UK, but I suspect that that is what the British people voted for.

Mrs Maybot might like to reflect on that thought a while before she repeats “the will of the British people” ad nauseam.

**********

SO, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

It’s not often I agree with either the Daily Mail or the Tories…  In fact almost never.

But, it really is time that Britain did something about a house of parliament that allows aristocrats, placemen, donors and churchmen (from only one church) to make decisions on behalf of us “ordinary people”.

The SNP, which point blank refuses to appoint anyone to serve in that house, has been arguing this for years.

The strange thing is that the Tories only got all het up about its existence when it started thwarting their mad Brexit plans (if plans be the word?).

Not so long ago Mr Rees Mogg was arguing that “privilege of peerage” should allow members of the House of Lords to enjoy a better vintage of champagne than enjoyed by members of the Commons. Moreover, he advised against reforming the House in any way and insisted that the Lords should remain independent.

And then Douglas Carswell suggested that unless the Lords was not independent and voted the way that the Tories wanted them to, the government should create 800 new peers to outvote them.

Aye, why not, I say! Only 800 x £300 = £240,000 a day, plus expenses. Cheap at half the price. And when your debt is already £2 trillion, what’s a little extra expense on aristocrats?

Still, never mind the reason. There’s a chance of getting shot of the house of old duffers and vintage champagne drinkers that cost us a lot of money.

It’s an ill wind, as they say.

But let’s do it before we spend billions doing up their part of parliament in a suitably aristocratic way.

LET’S HOPE YOU NEVER MAKE A SPELLING MISTAKE, DAILY MAIL

Grenfell was a tragedy in which 79 innocent people died.

The Daily Mail gives us all a spelling lesson.

Let’s hope that, revolution or not, there will soon NOT be a Daily Mail. It’s becoming as disreputable as The Sun.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

 

Anyone know if she’s supporting Corbyn this week?

Goodness me, they must be perfect.

Yep, well, that’s what we thought, Ken, but Mrs May knows better.

Funny how the elderly readership of the Mail hark back to the good old days when they were young. The Tories are going to grant them their wish…rickets anyone?

Nothing about the bins, or education, or roads or libraries or housing…?

And 22.5% is, as we all know, a resounding win.

EASTER fox hunts, EASTER killing and tearing to pieces by hounds.  EASTER!!

We’ve not had a “Strong and Stable” all of this post. Has anyone read the rest of Mein Kampf?

Your choice.

Doesn’t hurt to remind them sometimes.

Proud record.

Bless her. There she is with all these ordinary people, being strong and stable all over the place.

 

 

Eilean Donan suffers a catastrophic drought…

…or maybe the tide just went out for a bit?

The Daily Mail informs us that food prices are likely to rocket because of the drought. Or at least that is how they will explain how much more food is costing thanks to the value of sterling against the Euro and the Dollar.

Of course, the prolonged dry weather has presented farmers with problems and yes, it is probable that more food will have to be imported (at a greater cost because of the poor value of the pound).

However, the dear old Daily Mail gets it seriously wrong when it comes to Eilean Donan Castle which they use to illustrate how bad the drought is, using one photograph purporting to have been taken last July, and one taken this year. Oh, intrepid Daily Mail photographer venturing THAT far north.

But all is not as it seems.

You see…(taken from Wikipedia) “Eilean Donan (Scottish Gaelic: Eilean Donnain) is a small tidal island where three sea lochs meet, Loch Duich, Loch Long and Loch Alsh, in the western Highlands of Scotland. A picturesque castle that frequently appears in photographs, film and television dominates the island, which lies about 1 kilometre (0.62 mi) from the village of Dornie. Since the castle’s restoration in the early 20th century, a footbridge has connected the island to the mainland”.

The clues are in “tidal island” and “sea lochs”.

So, dear old Daily Mail, unhappily, twice a day, every day, for as long as anyone can remember and before, the castle has suffered a drought… and happily, twice and day, every day, for as long as anyone can remember and yes, even before, water has been restored.

Ya set of roasters.

WELL, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHEN AN ELECTION IS GOING TO HAPPEN OUT OF THE BLUE, DO YOU?

SO, BE PREPARED

I just saw this on Twitter. A Conservative supporter is sent a begging letter by Conservative Campaign Headquarters (remember, we used to get them under the name Peregrine).  Anyway, the line before the sign off reads: “We are finalising our election plans now, David…”

But, wait. It was only today that the Conservatives had their debate in parliament and only yesterday that the Cabinet agreed to put it to parliament, or so we are told.

So, how can they possibly be finalising their plans? Surely they couldn’t have planned a general election since yesterday’s announcement and be putting the final touches to it within 24 hours?

Oh, and on the subject of the Tory election campaign, it seems that those being questioned by the police over their involvement in the election fraud from two years ago will be allowed to stand as candidates this time.

I suppose the Tory press will have very little to say about that. Imagine if some other party had tried to pull that stunt?

I love it when the Mail talks dirty.

A riddle rolled up in a mystery inside an enigma: that’s Tess (as opposed to Tass!!!).

 

Dear Daily Mail (et al)

Letter from Munguin

You see, this is how it works.

You write things. People read them. Some of them understand, or misunderstand, them.

Most intelligent people don’t actually believe anything you write. We know it’s all about headlines that grab attention and make you money. As Stuart Campbell, a proper journalist, has said on many occasions, people rarely get beyond the first few paragraphs of any story. So, it is easy to keep yourself legal by rubbishing your headline in paragraph 12, continued on page 17.

Indeed, these days, most people only see the headline as they pass them in the supermarket, so there is absolutely no danger of them seeing the truth on page 17.

But there are people who believe the crap in your headlines. The crap you have written.

These headlines have been telling people for years that all that ails the UK can be summed up in one word. “Foreigners”. ‘Coming over here taking our jobs, taking our women or men, taking our houses, our school places, our social security, our hospital beds, being criminals and rapists, etc.

You’ve preached a message of HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE…

And now, after a particularly vicious campaign against anyone or thing foreign, in order to achieve the catastrophe that is Brexit, you feign horror that British people, quite possibly influenced by your vile lying headlines, have attacked a 17-year-old asylum seeker, leaving him for dead, while other British people stood by and watched and did nothing. And why would they? They’ve been reading your headlines for years. They probably believe that this lad is the source of all their woes. Probably a criminal, a rapist and that he’s depriving decent English people of their health service.

And you, Daily Mail, have the audacity to make of it a front page headline with the judgement “SAVAGES”, so you can sell more papers.

Of course, we realise that you have never actually in so many words encouraged people to beat up foreigners. Goodness, no. You’re a bit more subtle than that.

But what you have taught some of the hard of thinking is to HATE foreigners. To BLAME foreigners. And while you have been blaming them, and not the policies of the great Brtish Government for all that ails this country (undoubtedly the real problem), you have encouraged attitudes which have filtered down to the thugs and resulted in this atrocity, and many others.

Once you infect some people’s heads with an impression, however idiotic and ridiculous, it is almost impossible to get rid of it. Ask the family of the Polish man who was killed for being Polish and still being here after Brexit. As the family of Jo Cox, who was killed because she supported the EU. To attempt to infect people’s minds with lies on a daily basis is irresponsible and frankly criminal.

So well done, Daily Mail and your friends at the Daily Express, the Star and the Sun.

To be honest, though, I imagine that most of your readers are more interested in who Charlie’s been bonking (it’s his good looks that do it, obviously). Remember the old adage, ‘when the mistress becomes the wife she leaves a vacancy’. And there’s nothing like a royal story to fill an empty mind.

You’re a shameful blot on a noble profession.

Regards

Munguin