RANDOM THOUGHTS

 

!trump
One knows Trump said he wasn’t coming, Pheeleep. After all, one has done one’s best to ensure that one leads a “sheet-hole” country, but best to keep safe than sorry. So, if we see anything orange we make for the helicopter, right? It will either be him or that dreadful Arlene person. Either way, being at Windsor will be preferable, even with all these beggars.
!trump2
Erm… sometimes you have to wonder if the flash limos and hundreds of servants are worth the anguish of working under President Pinhead.
£$
Arise, Sir Pledge.  Oh and please take £115,000 a year to run your post-prime ministerial office, even if you were never the prime minister. And the Queen may not have seen fit to honour the fire, police and ambulance people, the porters, doctors, nurses and all others involved, but seriously, ask yourselves who the public value more. And remember, their baubles mean absolutely NOTHING.
£britain
Eugh… how revolting, in every way.
€
Ah, the worst pensions in the world are only safe with the  broad shoulders of our beloved benighted kingdom! Just as well we stayed, isn’t it?
a labour
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Jeremy Corbyn. You’re not half a disappointment. Do you know anything about anything?
a oil
You might think that that was odd, but then, when you consider the other daft stuff the UK has pulled, it all seems quite logical.
a nuclear
Ooops, Philip. Bit of an old gaff there.
a rbs
The closure of hundreds of branches of RBS in England, Scotland and Wales seems to have evoked very little interest in the House of Commons.
A UKEU
Ah, the good old democracy of the Benighted Kingdom.

 

BRITAIN’S CHRISTIAN VALUES?

achrist3

I noted that in Mrs May’s Christmas message to us lesser beings (painful to watch as she tries to emote), she wanted to remind us that this is a Christian country.

She said: “Let us take pride in our Christian heritage and the confidence it gives us to ensure that in Britain you can practice your faith free from question or fear”.

She is, of course, the English/female version of the Gordon Brown “son of the manse”, the “vicar’s daughter”

 

!£!
Arlene must have told her what to wear.

 

I managed to avoid the Queen’s Christmas message (well done. Tris) but I’d lay a pound to a penny that she reminded us that in her long reign she has always tried to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. After all, she tells us that every year.

And we all know that the real power in the country is held by an unelected Christian fundamentalist, who apparently believes that the world was created by God 6,000 years ago and that he laboured for 6 days doing it, and took the seventh day off. And you mustn’t call her a dinosaur because there never was such a thing!

!!!1

And yet these three women, strong advocates of Christianity, oversee a country where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

It’s a mean cruel little place in which a woman who is going to marry into the royal family can spend £55,000 on a dress for a photoshoot, parliament can spend tens of billions on doing up its own buildings, Buckingham Palace gets extra money for repairs… and at the same time doctors are prescribing food to patients who are ill because of malnutrition and  we see the return of Victorian poverty illnesses like rickets.

And that’s BEFORE we leave the EU, which now all but a few predict will be an economic disaster for Britain at least for the foreseeable future.

!£

The following came from readers comments in the article above. Just how inhuman do you have to be to put this kind of regime into operation?

Examples of Benefit Sanctions

“One case where the claimant’s wife went into premature labour and had to go to hospital. This caused the claimant to miss an appointment. No leeway given”

“It’s Christmas Day and you don’t fill in your job search evidence form to show that you’ve looked for all the new jobs that are advertised on Christmas Day. You are sanctioned. Merry Christmas”

“You apply for three jobs one week and three jobs the following Sunday and Monday. Because the jobcentre week starts on a Tuesday it treats this as applying for six jobs in one week and none the following week. You are sanctioned for 13 weeks for failing to apply for three jobs each week”

“A London man missed his Jobcentre appointments for two weeks because he was in hospital after being hit by a car. He was sanctioned”

“You’ve been unemployed for seven months and are forced onto a workfare scheme in a shop miles away, but can’t afford to travel. You offer to work in a nearer branch but are refused and get sanctioned for not attending your placement”

“You are a mum of two and are five minutes late for your jobcentre appointment. You show the advisor the clock on your phone, which is running late. You are sanctioned for a month”

afoodbank

“A man with heart problems who was on Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) had a heart attack during a work capability assessment. He was then sanctioned for failing to complete the assessment”

“A man who had gotten a job that was scheduled to begin in two weeks’time was sanctioned for not looking for work as he waited for the role to start”

“Army veteran Stephen Taylor, 60, whose Jobseeker’s Allowance (JSA) was stopped after he sold poppies in memory of fallen soldiers”

“A man had to miss his regular appointment at the job centre to attend his father’s funeral. He was sanctioned even though he told DWP staff in advance”

“Ceri Padley, 26, had her benefits sanctioned after she missed an appointment at the jobcentre – because she was at a job interview”

achrist2

“A man got sanctioned for missing his slot to sign on – as he was attending a work programme interview. He was then sanctioned as he could not afford to travel for his job search”

“Mother-of-three Angie Godwin, 27, said her benefits were sanctioned after she applied for a role jobcentre staff said was beyond her”

“Sofya Harrison was sanctioned for attending a job interview and moving her signing-on to another day”

“Michael, 54, had his benefits sanctioned for four months for failing to undertake a week’s work experience at a charity shop. The charity shop had told him they didn’t want him there”

“Terry Eaton, 58, was sanctioned because he didn’t have the bus fare he needed to attend an appointment with the jobcentre”.

achrist1

Added to this they removed £30 a week from the sickest people, they are in the throes of rolling out a system for benefits (Universal Credit) that does not work (still!) but not in Cabinet ministers’ constituencies, and amongst a list of other miserable mean minded policies aimed at saving money at all costs, most of the people of Grenfell Tower (the building that burned down because the richest council in England couldn’t be bothered putting proper insulation on it because it was populated by poor people, and for whom there was recently a big service in London, with bigwigs including Charles and William and the Maybot herself), are still homeless, and May laughed off the notion of child homelessness on the basis that kids weren’t actually sleeping on the cold streets in the open air…as many adults are. All fur coats and no knickers!

&

In England, NHS trusts are cancelling non-emergency operations as their health service falls apart for lack of money, staff and someone to manage it. Schools in some areas are washing kids’ clothes and taking parents to food banks or feeding them in breakfast clubs, while at the same time begging for money for books from richer parents. Prisons in England are in many cases privatised. The staffing levels are ridiculously low and the population ridiculously high. Violence is rife and riots are frequent.

I could go on, through other areas of public life: ships that are letting in water and that were built to carry aircraft we haven’t bought, Cabinet ministers falling like ninepins because they lie to the prime minister… the lowest pensions in the developed world to show how little we care about our elderly population (unless they are royal or lords) and the total mess that is Brexit deteriorating by the day…but by now you’re getting bored.

!a

A lot of Munguin’s readership is Scottish. We are lucky. Our health service is the best performing in the UK, as are our trains. Our prisons are better managed, and so far I’ve heard nothing of rickets. Far from perfect, we may be, but we are lucky. It’s no joke to be in England and not to be rich. (They find money for rich people)

So that is the Britain which hails blue passports as a major achievement.

That’s the Queen’s idea of a Christian society.

That’s Mrs May’s idea of Christian government.

I’m not a Christian, but I was forced as a schoolboy to go to daily Christian services at school in England and made to do two lessons a week of Bible Study, so I know a few things about the basic principles of Christianity after all these years.

Either our teachers were lying, or the people who oversee this mess, Liz, Arlene and the Maybot don’t even begin to resemble Christians.

 

£&
Nope, Daily Mail. We shall sneer and sneer and better than sneer at your iconic blue passports, ya roasters. The moronic thing is that they won’t be iconic. They will look exactly like everyone else’s passports because they are required to meet standards set by the UN. And, you could have had blue passports all along, of course, but then you wouldn’t have been able to blame that on the EU. The EU never demanded red.  Maybe you could put a wee story in them so that we will have something to read while we queue at immigration as aliens instead of EU citizens?

 

FRIDAY FOTOS

a derek

Apologies for the lack of work this week.

And I know it’s been an exciting week, what with Derek’s budget proposals, Ruth’s admission that she’d not be averse to a London parliamentary seat (the worst kept secret in the world), the Mayhembot being beaten in parliament on taking back to control to their parliament (instead of a cabal of right wing nut jobs), Kezia being sent to the Scottish equivilent of Coventry, and the high nesses Willie and Charlie joining the Maypole at a service for the survivors and victims of the greed and incompetence of Kensington Council, many of whom still have no permanent home.

a aWindsor-Castle-burning

Charles and Willie, of course, will remember when their mother’s/granny’s place at Windsor went up in flames and they had to throw Rembrandts and Van der Neers out the window. A dreadful year. An annus horribilis, in fact!

Doubtless, the royals were thinking to themselves how awful it was for these people to lose their priceless works of art (I mean your average Botticelli doesn’t look its best after being flung from the 20th floor of a multi), but then consoled themselves in the sure and certain knowledge that those who were left alive would have, as mama/grandmama had, decanted to one of their other houses, filled with equally desirably artworks

a roy

Then there was the slap in the face that Trumpy got when despite his presidential endorsement, Roy Moore and his horse were not elected to the US Senate, and the South’s South, the reddest state in the union, elected a Democrat senator, leaving Trump’s majority on the shoggliest of nails.

aharry

Finally, of course, there was that magical and heartwarming news that Harry the Hunter and his bird are to be wed, largely at our expense, on May the something or other. Joy unbounded. (Note to May: Brilliant day to bury any disastrous news.)

Anyway, there should have been articles on most if not all of those matters, and there was not. Munguin is not a happy chappy, and Tris is now sharing the cellars with Mick the Mouse. Nice bit of cheese for supper though!

Anyway… here’s some auld pics to puzzle over. Hope that makes it up to you! Munguin says you can all have 10 per cent of your subscriptions back….

What more could you ask?

Wait a minute…

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