AND SO THE CAMPAIGN BEGINS…

 

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A stinging rebuke? Well, that’s it. No referendum then.

 

So, Theresa May is to reject Nicola’s timetable for a referendum in Scotland because it might undermine her chaotic mess of a Brexit. Really!!

I imagine that she’s given this a lot of thought and weighed up the consequences… or maybe not.

 

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Mrs May’s starting pistol for triggering A50

 

Still, as you can see, all is OK with the world because Willie is on holiday yet again, and having high jinks with some blondes. Well, nice work if you can get it, Wills, and you can get it if your dad happened to be the Duke of Rothsay, and at least his probably was.

 

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Do they know it was in the manifestos of the Greens and the SNP, which, by the way, won a majority of the seats in parliament?

 

I see that the judges have been forgotten in the Scottish edition, and the SNP are now the enemy of the people. I’m not sure who reads the Daily Mail, although I know that a lot of people do, but  I guess they will lap this up with the vinegar that they drink for breakfast to keep them sour enough to get them through another miserable day in the 1950s.

I’m wondering if they have taken into consideration just how many promises were broken in the aftermath of that first referendum, most particularly the one about being thrown out of the EU if we left the UK. I wonder too if they listened to the First Minister’s speech today. Maybe the Scottish accent made it difficult for Daily Mail types in London to understand what she was saying, or maybe they just zoned out and wrote up the story that their readers want to read.

The hate all day has been palpable. All over Twitter we are reading the most ridiculous nonsense about the speech, clearly from people who haven’t heard or read it, or who were too stupid to understand it.

 

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No, it’s not, apparently. Will you ever learn?

 

Kezia Dugdale has said that her Twitter feed is full of personal insults, but we know that despite a search of her timeline no one can find any of them. I’ve seen a few corkers about Nicola today, all too rude to put on this family blog.

Realise that the only people who will be impressed by someone calling an opponent a four letter word insult, are people who are already very very firmly on your side. The likelihood of changing anyone’s mind because of that kind of insult is minimal, and probably all in the wrong direction!

We need to win hearts, and mostly minds. We don’t do that by calling the first minister, or the prime minister, a slag. In both cases it is clearly untrue and does no one any credit, or indeed any good.

The SNP are now raising funds for the battle ahead. The campaign was launched this morning and had, the last time I looked, raised £160,000.

https://www.ref.scot/donate

Remember that we are up against the English Tories and their wodges of cash. We will need every halfpenny we can get.

*********

 

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Ah, the good old days of Empire are coming back. Rule Britannia, Britannia… tra la la

 

I was laughing at the fact that Mrs May told Nicola that politics wasn’t a game… This from the woman that made Boris Johnson Foreign Secretary and put Liam Fox in charge of something more important than buying some teacakes. Sheesh, she’s got some sense of humour, that one.

Talking of Johnson, I’m told he said today that he will vote in favour of a new royal yacht.

All you need to know about the Tories in 9 words. “Sod the NHS, let’s have a new royal yacht”.

GREAT BRITISH JUSTICE SYSTEM UNFIT FOR PURPOSE, SAYS GREAT BRITISH CHIP WRAPPER/CAT LITTER

According to the Mail, then,  the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom, the one to which they, the Mail,  have been fighting to bring back power from Europe (decent British judges, applying decent British law, enacted by decent British elected parliament…. (try not to laugh at the back), using decent British values), is fundamentally corrupt and can’t be trusted to make a decision about the law of the United Kingdom and its constituent parts  regarding the right, under the legal systems operating therein, of the queen to enact the  necessary legislation to remove the UK from the EU.

They seem to have little sense of irony at the Mail. I wonder if the British government doesn’t get its way on this, will the Mail demand that the case be taken to the European Court? After all, they clearly have serious doubts about the integrity  of the UK’s own very most senior judges, and their abilities to distance themselves from their connections or private feelings when it comes to making judgements…and seriously, that bodes ill for justice in a newly independent UK.

No one is saying, of course, that the will of the people, as indicated in the referendum, should not be enacted. Article 50 should be enacted. The question is more technically about WHO enacts it. And in law that can be everything. Do something wrong at the beginning of the journey and it can invalidate everything you do thereafter.

If British/English/Scots/Irish laws say that use of the Royal Prerogative is illegal, then surely everything that follows from its use would be illegal. How embarrassing would that be?

Britain's Queen Elizabeth arrives at the Norman Porch of the Palace of Westminster for the State Opening of Parliament in London
Are you questioning my rights, Munguin?

As I see it, the first question is: Does the UK government, using whatever law it uses (English, I assume) have the right to invite the queen to use her powers under Royal Prerogative to initiate the Article 50 procedure, or must this be decided by the sovereign UK parliament?

 

The second question is: how is that right affected by different Scots and Irish law, and, given the results of the referendum in Scotland and NI, what rights, if any, do THEIR non-sovereign parliaments have to represent their will, and for it to be considered?

Of course, unlike some of you, I’m not a lawyer, so I’ll be very happy to stand corrected on any of that. I’d be interested in your thoughts.

Oh, and one last thing. The Daily Mail has just trashed the Supreme Court of the UK for being a pile of unelected (unlike the Daily Mail) Europhiles. Any judgement they make is bound to be biased. So, what happens if they agree with the government that the queen is entitled to make the decision and the Scotland and the Irish can like it or do the other thing? Will they still be a pile of unelected idiots, or will they suddenly have become sensible and sober upholders of the Great British legal system?

Will they still be a pile of unelected idiots, or will they suddenly have become sensible and sober upholders of the Great British legal system? It’s awfully complicated.

ERM, ISN’T STEALING STREET SIGNS…

…NOT JUST A CRIMINAL OFFENCE, BUT IN SOME CASES DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS?

aaaa

Because it’s far more sensible to have £:s:p, yards: feet: inches, gallons: quarts: pints, tons: hundredweights and quarters,  stones: pounds: ounces. Obviously.

Still, the Daily Mail seems to think he’s a bit of a hero, and I bet the Daily Diana is fizzing it didn’t get the story first. It would probably recommend him to the queen for a knighthood.

a

Oh, yes, then there was this bloke who seems to be unaware of just how utterly ridiculous Boris Johnson is, not to mention David Davis and the unbelievably hapless idiot Liam Fox, and that they are all led by someone with the well-deserved nickname “Mayhem”.

Talk about zero diplomatic know-how or ability!

Really, Prof Tomkins, have a wee word with yourself, will you? At the moment you are a liability.

 

MINISTER FOR CHICKENS MUST RESIGN

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OK, so when I saw the Scottish paper in the supermarket, I thought it was quite bad, and I was waiting for someone from the Labour Party to demand the Nicola Sturgeon take very severe action on whichever minister it is that is responsible for chickens.

But then I got home and found that in the UK the situation is even worse. Whereas in Scotland you have a 50% chance of dying from chickenitis, in England it’s a 66% chance, indeed in England it seems that the percentage of contaminated birds is 78.

How lucky we are in Scotland. Can someone find the chicken minister and give him or her a hearty pat on the back…

Seriously, this comic gets dafter in its competition with the Daily Diana.

JOB AVAILABLE FOR SPIES WHO DON’T MIND BEING BORED WITLESS FOR MONTHS AT A TIME

According to the Daily Mail, David Davis has been warned that every other EU government is spying on him in an attempt to discover his strategy for Brexit.

He has been told he should expect the 27 other EU countries to be trying to listen in on his private conversations and intercept his phone calls. davis

So, when we read this Munguin and I fell about laughing. That should be interesting, we thought. The Minister for exiting Europe, who has no actual strategy for exiting Europe.

I hope the other 27 countries have a shed load of time on their hands. Just imagine the boredom:

*****

D Davis: Hello, Rt Hon David Davis here, Cabinet Secretary for Brexit.

Recipient: Yes, how can we help you?

DD: Can you send round a Sweet and Sour Chicken with Boiled Rice, and 5 Spring Rolls?

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DD: Hello, Secretary of State here.

Private Secretary: Yes?

DD: I’m bored witless. Do you fancy popping round to the club for lunch?

*****

DD: Can you come in for a moment, Private Secretary. I need your opinion on something important.

PS: Certainly Sir. With you directly. (followed by knock on door).

DD: Do you think the Rembrandt looks better on that wall or that wall?

*****

DD: Hello Liam, David here. Are you busy?

L Fox: Yes.

DD: Doing what, for heaven’s sake? You can’t start with the trade deals till 2019.

LF: I know. It’s a blast, getting paid a Cabinet salary and having nothing much to do. At the moment  I’m working on the decor for my stateroom on the royal yacht. This afternoon we’re having a Tiddlywinks competition in the Ministry of Silly Talks.

*****

DD: Hello David Davis, how can I help you?

N Sturgeon: First Minister of Scotland here. I was wondering how the Brexit plans were coming along with regard to Scotland’s continued access to the market.

DD: *Pardon Madame: You have a mauvais number there. Nous sommes “Le Petit Renard Fou” French restaurant. Voulez-vous book une table?

*with appoliogies to Miles Kington!

*****

Any other suggestions?