JUST FOR A LAUGH

Le Temps, Switzerland, June 6, 2019.

De Volkskrant, The Netherlands, May 31, 2019.

Politicalcartoons.com, Croatia, June 3, 2019.

The Charlotte Observer, U.S., June 4, 2019.

The Buffalo News, U.S., June 5, 2019.

The Boston Globe, U.S., June 5, 2019.

Columbia Missourian, U.S., June 5, 2019.

Thanks to BJSAlba for these.

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Of course, the real jokes of this week are undoubtedly the contenders, possible and impossible, for the Tory Party leadership. As they work hard to outbid each other on the  “I did drugs. What can I say? I’m actually human, just like you ordinary run-of-the-mill lower and lesser folk”, something interesting has come to light.

The process for a visa for visiting the USA includes questions about drug use. Wee Govey’s recent admission with regard to the use of cocaine, could put him in breach of rules, which require applicants to state if they have ever violated laws related to possessing, using or distributing illegal drugs.

We may reasonably assume that on previous applications for USA visas, he will have lied about his drug use. And so he could conceivably be refused a visa to enter the USA.

Of course, if he were elected prime minister, that wouldn’t happen, which would also be an embarrassment in its own way because it would prove that there is one rule for those and such as those and one rule for… well, us.

But given that Gove is not the only one to admit to drug use, the UK could well end up with a prime minister who wouldn’t be able to visit their greatest ally. Donny!

Of course, the admission from the house elf is all the more embarrassing because, as English Education Secretary, Gove brought in legislation that allowed for the disqualification (and sacking) of teachers who were convicted of possessing class A drugs…all the while knowing that his wee nose was no stranger to these substances.

To be fair, school teachers are not prime ministers and vice versa! But still, maybe he needs to rethink his career plans.

As Michael Gove brought in a code of conduct in 2014 disqualifying teachers convicted of possessing class A drugs (yep, cocaine is in there), I think it only fair if he disqualifies himself from any public position. I mean we wouldn’t want him to be hypocritical now, would we?
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So, in view of the opium smoking and cocaine use, not to mention the loathsome smoking of pot, it appears that all we are left with is this joke, I mean bloke…

or this bloke and his little lap dog…

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…the dream team?

Maybe the others, given the age and disposition of the average voter in this contest, should have been a bit more careful about what they admitted to.

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After all, whatever happened to the good old fashioned, if slightly dull, practice of admitting to running through a cornfield.

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Oh yes, of course…she did that!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PETULA

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As longtime Munguinites know, my absolute favourite pop singer of all time is Petula Clark. 

Why, you may ask!

Well, let’s start with versatility. There’s nothing much she can’t sing from ballads to folk, from country to jazz, from pop to rock n roll to show tunes, throw in some comedy stuff too…and in several different languages. And that voice, still pretty, and bang on the note. And if you have musical ears, like I do, that matters.

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And then there’s the tireless hard work and attention to detail. I’ve watched her in rehearsals on stage in old jeans and a t-shirt with no makeup, making sure that everything is perfect. Not just for her, but with the musicians, the backing singers, the sound, lights. She is an out and out professional, and I’m privileged to have watched her doing the less glamorous stuff on numerous occasions.

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Then there is her dedication to her fans. Send her a request for a signed photograph and it may take a little time, because it will go to Switzerland, and she might not be there for a few weeks, but she will reply. And pretty much after every show she’s there at the stage door or in the bar (much nicer) signing photos and having a few words with fans.

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Today she is 86 years old, although if she reads this she’ll not thank me for mentioning it. Because one of the other things that I admire about her is her attitude to ageing. She gets on with it regardless. When someone asks her about her age, she can get a little snippy, which is frankly, unlike her. “I don’t ask you your age”, she is likely to throw at the interviewer. “You’re doing your job and doing it well, and I’m doing mine. Why would our ages matter?”

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At present, she’s in the USA, touring an album of English language songs the theme of which is “From Now On”, looking forward, not back, although of course, singing some of the big hits from yesteryear… “I’d get lynched if I didn’t sing Downtown”. She has been on the road for a month and there’s another month of touring to do. Tireless.

Earlier this year she released an album of songs written by Canadian writers and musicians, “Vu d’Ici” (Seen from Here). It was conceived, and recorded in Montréal and toured in the French-speaking provinces of Canada with it.

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She was 85 years old at the time and this was her first Canadian tour for 54 years, and still she played to packed houses. Not only that, but the disc made the French Canadian charts.

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Her first ever chart hit was on 1954 with “The Little Shoemaker” in the UK. So that gives her a chart career of something like 64 years!

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So, I hope you won’t mind me taking up a bit of Munguin’s space to say:

‘Bon Anniversaire, ma chère Pétula. Munguin et moi esperons te revoir bientôt, soit en Ecosse soit en France. Olympia, peut-être?  Bisous x”. 

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After all, Pet has had the privilege of meeting Munguin on a few occasions and pronounced him to be “mignon”! Which he informs me, he most certainly is and she’s ok too!

HAPPY JULY 4

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Two hundred and forty-two years ago, meeting in the Pensylvania State House, the 13 North American colonies of Britain declared themselves to be independent states.

They never looked back and all this time later they are still celebrating that action as the right decision. 

So, on the 4th of July 2018, we wish the USA all the very best, and of course an especially happy Independence Day to Munguin’s friends over there. (We have many American readers, but Danny and Jon are the main contributors, and we are grateful for their input, so special words of thanks to them).

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Ruth Davidson used a Shakespearian quote to insult him.  I prefer something more Scottish from our Bard. What about: “Thou pickle-herring in the puppet-show of nonsense”?

The current president is just a blip. (Well he’s obviously a lot more things, but what I mean is he is temporary.) Hopefully, though, people will remember what a clown he was and how the rest of the world laughed at him and they will resolve to vote more carefully in future. Mrs May can be grateful that whilst she is an utter laughing stock, she is infinitely less important in the scheme of things than he is… and Donald has certainly “Trumped” her as the world-class eejit. She’s merely a third-rate eejit.

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Trump: Will you be my bromance, buddy?  Macron: (to self… Oh, Lord this is embarrassing) Erm, je suis vraiment désolé. Je ne comprends pas un seul mot d’anglais. En tout cas, qui êtes-vous exactement? Et pouvez-vous arrêter de me tenir la main, idiot en orange ?

Anyway, forget about him tomorrow, Americans.  Enjoy the fireworks and the feasts and have a great day.

Hopefully, in the not too distant future, the boot will be on the other foot and our friends in the States will be wishing us the same thing.

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Talking of Trump, Justice Secretary, Humza Yousaf wrote to the Treasury asking that they pay for any security expenses of having Trump in our country. They invited him, not us. He has no official business in Scotland. 

He has received an answer in the affirmative from the Rt Hon Truss. Of course, it seems to me to be particularly bad manners to write to someone by their first name, and sign with your full name, and even worse, your style.  And what is all the numbering of paragraphs about?

Who on earth does that?

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Truss was herself, the English Justice Secretary. Fortunately, Humza doesn’t have to dress himself up like some pantomime character to do his job.

POOR OLD NIGEL

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So Nigel sent a tweet at 5.58…

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And at 5.59 this happened.

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false 
adjective
 not according with truth or fact; incorrect.
  1. “he was feeding false information to his customers”
    synonyms: incorrectuntruewrongerroneousfallaciousfaultyflaweddistortedinaccurateinexactimpreciseinvalidunfoundedMore

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SO WHAT’S HAPPENING ‘OVER THERE’?

Sometimes you reflect on the utter embarrassment that is the warring Westminster government, and the opposition that, well, I dunno about you, but does anyone, much less them, have an idea what their Brexit policy is?

You know perfectly well that people all over Europe and the rest of the world (in as much as they give a stuff about what’s happening here), are choking themselves laughing at the mess that mighty Britannia has got itself in.

But, there’s always the comfort that the insignificant May and her hapless squabbling friends… well, no, not friends… more, well, enemies, are no marks on the international ridicule scale, compared with the orange-faced muppet in the Gold House.

He is, quite simply, incomparable.

Enjoy, as Seth and his team takes a “Closer Look” some of the more ridiculous moments in the last few days…

WELCOME TO LIBYA YOUR QUEENNESS

It’s my favourite rendition. Somehow the enthusiasm of the players matches my feelings of pride when I hear it, and the uncertainty of where exactly the music is leading us to reflects perfectly the atmosphere of “lost and abandoned” that a lot of us feel.

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But the question is, do the Libyans know that the mad mop head that just arrived from London isn’t actually the Queen of England?

And are the Libyan people suitably grateful for the intervention of Britain (and France and the USA) in their affairs?

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