WELL, THAT DIDN’T TAKE LONG

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So, here we are, four days into Brexit and we are already threatening war with a fellow EU member.

This morning the Tories, for some weird reason, wheeled out Michael Howard, who, as you might have guessed, is one of these noblemen the Tories keep locked away for just such purposes. You probably remember him best as Michael ‘Prison Works’ Howard, Michael ‘Are you thinking what we’re thinking’ Howard, or even Michael ‘Something of the Night’ Howard, but we must refer to him by his proper name The Noble Baron Howard of Lympne, CH, PC, QC. It’s only respectful. And we are nothing if not respectful.

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Right, so the Tories dug him out from whatever dungeon they have been keeping him in, to remind us that a precious female prime minister, when a Great British territory was threatened, hastened to dispatch a mighty Task Force and, like Britannia herself, became the greatest military leader of all time.

Old Howard was, he said, sure that the current lady prime minister would not hesitate to do the same. Although she might have to ask President Hollande for a boat.

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Now old Howard, for all he reminds even his colleagues of Dracula, used to be someone. Indeed, after Wee Willie Hague and then his grandad, Iain Duncan Smith, he was the third disastrous leader of the Tory Party to sit opposite Tony Blair on the opposition benches. So, I suspect that he was sent out to fly a kite that they should use military might to deal with Spain if they don’t get their way.

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If it goes down in a frenzy of red white and blue waving fascist nutters, then it may become policy. If not then the Tories can say that it was just some batshit mad old aristocratic senior citizen having had too much Port for breakfast.

One of the reasons that the EU was set up was to try to foster peace in a continent which had been constantly at war throughout a thousand years and more. Four days into Brexit and the Brits are sabre rattling. (Probably all they have to rattle.)

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It may, too, have escaped Mr Howard’s notice that Spain is a NATO member and that NATO is a “one for all and all for one!” organisation. In short, if you attack one member, you attack all members. Oh well…

Fortunately not all talk today has been of war.

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Brexiteers are making plans for the future. The Great British Passport all in blue will be making a return according to the Sunday Diana. (So usual caveats apply.)

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And some fossil from the Telegraph wants Imperial Measures brought back.

12 d = 1/-; 20/- = £1; 12”- 1′; 3′ = 1 yard; 1760 yds = 1 mile… and don’t get me started on tons, hundredweights and quarters, chains, poles and gills!

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I look forward to farthings’ return. A wren on the back, and, who knows, a portrait of Queen Victoria on the front.

Very Jolly.

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43 thoughts on “WELL, THAT DIDN’T TAKE LONG”

    1. I doubt if they have any idea what they are up to.

      Seriously, I’d be worried if that lot were running a tiny country with a couple of thousands of people, never mind a big one.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Henri de la Tour d’Auvergne, Vicomte de Turenne. His second-in-command at that battle was Sir William Lockhart of Lee, a Scot.

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Well, that kinda depends on whether it had a hooked handle.

      Maybe they’ll bring back umbrellas?

      Erm, what if something was less than an umbrella? Like .45 of an umbrella?

      And how many umbrella were there in a tarpaulin?

      🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. It appears to have escaped the noble Lord that the navy does not have the ships to “do a Falklands”. The 6 destroyers are all tied up in Portsmouth awaiting new engines because they keep on breaking down. The 2 absurd aircraft carriers in build at Rosyth are ages late and don’t not have aircraft anyway and even if theydid the navy does not have the support ships for them to be deployed on anything other than “goodwill” visits. The carriers are just a Gordon Brown make-work vanity project. I suppose they might try to threaten Spain with a Trident missile although that might miss the target and hit one of Donald’s golf courses instead. The only explanation for Michael Howard’s bizarre intervention is that he is senile.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. LOL. Not much you can say to that.

      He never was terribly au fait with what life was really like, or the consequences of his actions. For example, throwing people left right and centre into jail may have kept them off the streets, but it clogged the jails, taught youngsters a pile of stuff from old lags, and made it almost impossible for them to get jobs in the days of background checks.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL. He likes a good war does Mental Mick.

      I remember when they announced one of the wars that Blair got involved with on behalf of Bush. Howard must have been leader of the Tories at the time, but he was interviewed about it, and he was almost salivating with excitement as he agreed with Blair-Bush.

      Whether it’s Britain being all manly and domineering, or whether it’s the thought of all that blood spilled… it seems to be a big deal to him.

      Interestingly given all the references to Dracula, he’s originally of Romanian parentage.

      Like

  2. Ramping up the Rule Britannia stuff so they can walk away from the Brexit talks: No Deal better than bad deal (there’s no plan mind, so No Deal is all they have/want). Johnny Foreigner not allowed to push them around. May and Co being ‘strong’. Jingism gone daft. Red White and Blue brexit eh?

    Then call an general election and wipe floor with clueless Labour. Get a big majority; do what they like then.

    Brexit just a sideshow now; grab control is what they want. They have no clue about what to do re Brexit. Article in Guardian today quoted officials as saying Spain has spent a lot of time building agreement for their position across all member states, and that EU is now going to back the Member state. If UK cared so much, why wasn’t Gib or NI in A50 letter? Am reminded of a line from Game of Thrones “They would see the country burn, if only to be King of the ashes”. All this fleg waving is just to get the EU even more irate – and provide the excuse to walk away.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Who knows the motivation of this group of no-marks.

      It’s true that they could play the walk away card and then be plucky Britain against the world (but with USA, Israel, Turkey and Saudi as their only friends.

      They are daft enough to think that’s a good idea.

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  3. Now that England’s Tories have been liberated from Brussels “rule” the whole world can see what they are really about.
    Castle dwelling people with their protective,isolating moats who threaten violence should others not bend to their will.
    Nothing progressive about these people,only backward,inward looking and belicose hostility to all outsiders.
    Hardly the actions of a country which aspires to be a global trading power.
    Who would want to deal with these maniacs?

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I like the Farthing. Wiki says the little wren was on the coin from 1937 until the coin was discontinued in 1960. Do the English still say “not worth a brass Farthing?”

    When I was assembling my “huge” collection of English silver pennies…..ONE each from Alfred the Great, Edward the Confessor, and William the Conqueror…..(they don’t give them cool names like that anymore), I learned that before there was an actual Farthing coin, they sometimes cut up silver pennies into four quarters called “fourthings.”

    Conan didn’t give us the name of the battle or the war. My guess on the war would be the War of the Spanish Succession. Mainly because it’s the only old British war with Spain that I know, and I know it because it’s sort of cool sounding. Here’s a picture of that war that looks sort of similar. It’s Philip V of Spain and the Duke of Vendôme pictured after the 1710 victory at Villaviciosa. (Wiki and I know this stuff.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, it looks like it won’t post my picture. But you get the idea. Two grandly attired men on horses and a lot of dead people lying on the ground. Pretty much like every other European war victory picture ever painted.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. The modern names are Liz the Last, Charles the Wanker, Phil da Greek, Andy the Hoormaister, Harry the Bastard, William the Brother in Law to the one with the Nice Arse, Anne the one who supports Scottish Rugby, and last but not least, George the one who gets an article in the BBC when they’ve got a bad news day.

      There are too many other hangers-on to name…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Conan…..I like your modern names better……LOL. I read some old American newspaper accounts of the death of George VI. They made a reference to “George the Good.” Seemed odd, and I guess it never caught on. Maybe just an American thing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I expect that over the next few months we can expect a great deal of royal news. The government like that sort of thing. It distracts the hard of thinking for questioning too much why none of the things they promised are happening and their mortgage repayment has just gone up to something unaffordable.

        Expect harry to be married off.

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      1. I know. I bent the facts a bit, but I should know better than try to pull the wool over Munguin’s Readers’ eyes.

        You’re all too smart! 🙂

        Thanks for keeping an eye on me!

        Like

    3. Yes, I know it was out of sync a bit. But I love the bird, and Victoria was far more inspiring than Edward VIII.

      I’ve heard it said, Danny.

      That’s neat. If you can’t think on a name for a quarter of a penny, call it a “thing”.

      How knowledgeable you and Wiki are. You make a good team! 🙂

      Like

  5. Watched the Howard interview on Sunday morning. Was completely speechless, jaw hitting the ground. People like Howard are supposed to be serious politicians. Jeez, what next.
    Mind you the Beeb had some numpty on a cross section group from down South. When asked about Brexit he said. “Oh everything will be fine, everybody likes us”.
    I was worried a bit with Indy2, thinking it may be too soon. Now I can’t wait to get down to the polling station and vote Yes again. Can’t come soon enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s funny that they seem to think that people like them.

      Maybe some folk do, but by and large, Brits are not overly loved abroad in my experience (or maybe that’s just me).

      Yes, I think they may even have turned some people’s minds a bit with this.

      As we have said, 4 days in and this is how we find ourselves.

      The Common Green has a really good article on this (link in sidebar).

      Like

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