TRAINS AND BOATS AND PLANES

!!!!!!!ship
ON THE GOOD SHIP

James Brokenshire was on the Marr show today, saying that Transport Secretary (England) Chris Grayling was completely up to the job. He didn’t exactly say that of course, not being a complete idiot, and therefore aware that May could, indeed should, replace our Chris with the Downing Street cat or perhaps a lump of wet clay next week.

In a government of incompetents, led by an incompetent prime minister, Chris Graying stands out as the incompetents’ incompetent.

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He proved to be an utter disaster at the English Justice ministry, with his successor having to overturn most of what he had done. Jail privatisation has resulted in companies reducing staffing levels, replacing experienced officers with inexperienced recruits… and needless to say not enough of them for the growing prison population, resulting in the odd riot here and there.

His successors are looking at introducing the policy put forward by the Scottish government of not imprisoning those whose crimes are worthy of a sentence of 1 year or less.

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At Transport Chris Graying has overseen chaos on English trains including the all-important London commuter services and those in the North of England which were supposed to be a part of the Tories’ big plans for the regeneration of that region.

And we should not forget that Graying was spent time at the DWP. Need we say more?

Image result for grayling ferry mess

What can we say about the pizza delivery company that was supposed to be running ferries it didn’t have, from a port that had no capacity for them to a port which had no customs or infrastructure, and upon which Grayling assured us that due diligence had been carried out by his department?

While that contract has now been cancelled due to the inability of Pepe’s Pizzas to fulfil any of the terms (despite the due diligence so carefully applied), we now have two other contracts to bring goods from Europe. Unfortunately, given the “taking back control” aspect of the Brexit fervour, these companies are French and Dutch! The failed company was, of course, British.

Mais, alors, nous aurons les passeports bleus en moins de 60 jours!

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Image result for james kelly

In another issue to do with transport, James Kelly (Labour’s “sit down” stand up Scottish comedian) has (among others) for the last few days, been ranting about the scheme to give councils the power to make a charge for workplace parking in an effort to raise money and reduce traffic.

Mr Kelly, who is a Glasgow MSP, is highly critical of this scheme.

Mr Kelly has said “People should not be facing the SNP’s tax on getting to work. Workers here in Cambuslang and across Scotland do not want this tax, especially when ScotRail and local buses are a shambles under the Nationalists.”

Of course, all public transport could do with improvement, but it should be noted that ScotRail is among the best, if not the best performing rail company in the UK, despite the appalling standards of the infrastructure.

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However, as Glasgow councillor Mhairi Hunter points out “It would be awkward if Glasgow Labour’s 2017 manifesto included a commitment to investigate introducing a workplace parking levy”.

And awkward it is:

As indeed does Labour in Edinburgh.

Well, what say you, Mr Kelly?

Nothing?

Well, in the immortal words of the Presiding Officer: “Sit down, Mr Kelly”

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52 thoughts on “TRAINS AND BOATS AND PLANES”

    1. If i remember they were mainly about fat old ladies fancying gay men, Sid James cackling, Kenneth Williams camping and Barbara Windsor’s boobs… or sorry DAME Windsor’s boobs.

      Very English humour.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. The incompetence of the present UK administration has been exposed for the whole world to see.
    The myth of British superiority and pragmatism has been laid to rest and replaced by astonishment and hilarity at their actions.
    Who would want to be associated with these clowns?
    Maybe the flute tooters and a few others with their hands in the British public services till.
    Trade deal?
    Don’t make me laugh.
    Never mind,that moron Williamson is going to send our gun boats to the Pacific to try and drum up some trade.
    How to make friends and influence people….not.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. As I read this morning… if you are going to practise gunboat diplomacy, first thing is to make sure you have a gun boat, I imagine that Gav’s statement this morning caused Xi to choke on his cornflakes.

      Bloody idiot. No one gives a stuff what Britain does. America? yes, China? yes, Russia? yes.

      Britain and France? …. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.

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      1. I think I saw a headline from one of today’s papers on last night’s SKY paper review, not discussed by reviewers … I wonder why, that implied that the UK had sent an aircraft carrier to the Pacific. I can just see the Chinese reaction now … well I will once they get off the floor after rolling about laughing their socks off.

        UK is sending an aircraft carrier to the Pacific … aye right!

        Whaurs the … erm … aircraft ya dorks?

        Oops I forgot they WILL have aircraft on the deck … cardboard cut out aircraft that is! 😉🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

        Liked by 2 people

          1. LOL…. but where is Mr F…. I mean of course, DOCTOR FOX going to sit and he splashes off to sign yet another trade deal to put the one with the Faroes to shame? That’s what I want to know.

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        1. I read somewhere too that instructions to us peasants for Brexit include the fact that it illegal to eat cats and dogs.

          We’re down the the situation that we have to be told not to eat out pets, but we can afford gun boat diplomacy.

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      2. This’ll (oops) be the sort of vessel Mr W will be looking for. There’s a nice wee photo of her on the Yangtze, too. She spent a lot of time wandering the worlds oceans keeping the colonials and others in check. Maybe the MoD should consider building some to keep station in the Forth and Clyde, just in case we sweaties get too big for our boots and opt for self-determination or something.

        The Chinese’ll be worried, I expect:

        wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Thistle_(1899)

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Thanks for that, JoMac!

          As I read the Wiki article I thought “How very British!” – the original design was an unhappy compromise – like sofa-beds which are not good at being either – and “…problems with using Thistle’s engines for long-range cruising would prompt the restoration of her sailing rig in 1919, while her usefulness on colonial stations meant that she was refitted to maintain her capabilities in the 1920s, acquiring an anti-aircraft armament…” – kludge, fudge, make do and muddle through, in other words. Oh, and give it a nice twee name while you’re at it.

          Like the famous unwritten British Constitution, really; while its adherents are constantly running around trying to patch it up to keep it running long past the point when it’s no longer fit for purpose, if it ever was, the rest of us are looking on in fear and amazement like the Chinese on the Yangtze in 1910: “WTF is that? Oh God, it’s Them again, here to stop our Boxers rebelling and start another war for drugs! Jeez, but is that the best the Mother of Parliaments could come up with? Still dangerous, though: you can stab your foot with a pitchfork and it’ll kill you just as well…”

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Just sort of “thinking” outside the box here Tris.

    Is Grayling the physical manifestation of Kelly’s utterances by any chance? 🤔😂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

          1. It occurs to me that if the UK sets about reneging unilaterally on the Northern Ireland aka Good Friday aka Belfast Agreement of 1998 (text on peacemaker.un.org, http://t1p.de/9fs6), the Spanish may decide to tear up the relevant Treaty of Utrecht (http://t1p.de/8wrc) of 1713 and take back Gibraltar; after all, it got Minorca back in 1802 (http://t1p.de/vqg4).

            Oh, it never occurred to me! We Scots could tear up the various whadyamacallit 1707 thingmies of Union! Of course (adopts pious expression), two wrongs do not make a right, but perhaps oor Nicola could pick up the phone to that genuinely nice Leo Varadkar and suggest that they organize for Ireland to support Scotland in doing just that* if the despicable Westminster regime under the genuinely not nice Mrs. May decides to go the full Monty and trash the agreement with Ireland that has kept the peace in Northern Ireland for the past 20 years.

            * “Opening for renegotiation” is the term of art, I believe. A spot of territorial claiming might be in order too…

            Liked by 1 person

            1. They don’t seem to be able to it through their heads that the Belfast Agreement exists.

              On the basis of the current situation, it may take more than 2 years for a future trade deal to be signed.

              If they make the backstop time limited, what happens if that trade deal cannot be reached in time?

              John Humphries (along with others) suggests that to solve the problem, Ireland should simply throw in its lot with Britain. I’d suggest that Northern Ireland should throw in its lot with Ireland.

              The delightless Andrea Ledsome has just be on “Today” talking a great deal and saying absolutely nothing, except the “meanful” vote4 could be made only a week before Exit Day…. Or Bday, as it seems appropriately named.

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      1. Obviously no one told BoJo that he’s not in the government and sending navy ships is probably a job for the MoD… although with wee Gavin in charge, maybe they should leave that stuff to almost anyone else

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      2. Financial Times

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        The British defence secretary, Gavin Williamson, has announced plans to make more from his budget by converting ferries into two Royal Marine strike ships, in a bid to give the country’s armed forces ‘the right capabilities as quickly as possible’

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Will that be the ferries they have earmarked for running between Ramsgate and Ostend, then, Tris?

          Anyway, do you think we should warn Them that the sea over the Spratlies might be a bit shallower in 2021 than it looks on those old Admiralty charts? (“Satellite photos reveal Beijing has fortified its Spratly Island reefs”, http://t1p.de/oiu9.)

          I wonder… given that They seem to be preparing to rip up various international agreements to which the UK is signatory, perhaps this aircraft carrier wheeze is part of the whole Empire 2.0 thing: sending in a really big gunboat to take back Their colony of Hong Kong, and reinstalling Chiang Kai-Shek as Head of State of mainland China, maybe, even though he’s been dead a while now … (http://t1p.de/xjd5).

          Liked by 1 person

          1. That’s the very same ferried, Ed.

            Apparently the fishing around the Spratlies is inordinately rich, and there is oil… which, as we all know, makes you poorer.

            The question remains… what the hell has it got to do with the UK?

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  3. Ermm….

    Our threat of ‘massif power’ appears to be around 2021.

    https://ukdefencejournal.org.uk/britain-send-supercarrier-hms-queen-elizabeth-south-china-sea/

    Or probably never.

    Does anyone get the flavour of ‘gunship diplomacy’ without the gunships? Personally, I am against threatening China. Especially if there is a gap between capability and vulnerability. And, why, exactly? I have zero investment in Theresa May looking ‘tough’ on the international stage. I think, correct me if I am wrong, that the Chinese are taking global climate change seriously and trying to deal with it. More than could be said for our ‘greatest ally’ the USA.

    I support non aggressive freedom movements within China’s borders.

    When Theresa May turns in bed at night to her thobbing nuclear power, I would encourage her to be a tad more considered in how she uses it. In a few years time.

    ————————–

    This is all getting a tad ridiculous. Once we leave the EU, we will be so poor that even military dreams will have to be scrapped.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gavin is playing with his soldiers and his imaginary boats.

      I used to do that too when I was 7.

      He’s probably saving up his pocket money for the fuel to get the wee boats as far as Cherbourg.

      Bloody idiots.

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    1. Like I say, they will be shaking over there.

      Oh no, President Xi will say, we’ve upset little Gavin and he’s sending his toy boat … whatever shall we do?

      Like

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