TRAINS AND BOATS AND PLANES

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ON THE GOOD SHIP

James Brokenshire was on the Marr show today, saying that Transport Secretary (England) Chris Grayling was completely up to the job. He didn’t exactly say that of course, not being a complete idiot, and therefore aware that May could, indeed should, replace our Chris with the Downing Street cat or perhaps a lump of wet clay next week.

In a government of incompetents, led by an incompetent prime minister, Chris Graying stands out as the incompetents’ incompetent.

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He proved to be an utter disaster at the English Justice ministry, with his successor having to overturn most of what he had done. Jail privatisation has resulted in companies reducing staffing levels, replacing experienced officers with inexperienced recruits… and needless to say not enough of them for the growing prison population, resulting in the odd riot here and there.

His successors are looking at introducing the policy put forward by the Scottish government of not imprisoning those whose crimes are worthy of a sentence of 1 year or less.

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At Transport Chris Graying has overseen chaos on English trains including the all-important London commuter services and those in the North of England which were supposed to be a part of the Tories’ big plans for the regeneration of that region.

And we should not forget that Graying was spent time at the DWP. Need we say more?

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What can we say about the pizza delivery company that was supposed to be running ferries it didn’t have, from a port that had no capacity for them to a port which had no customs or infrastructure, and upon which Grayling assured us that due diligence had been carried out by his department?

While that contract has now been cancelled due to the inability of Pepe’s Pizzas to fulfil any of the terms (despite the due diligence so carefully applied), we now have two other contracts to bring goods from Europe. Unfortunately, given the “taking back control” aspect of the Brexit fervour, these companies are French and Dutch! The failed company was, of course, British.

Mais, alors, nous aurons les passeports bleus en moins de 60 jours!

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In another issue to do with transport, James Kelly (Labour’s “sit down” stand up Scottish comedian) has (among others) for the last few days, been ranting about the scheme to give councils the power to make a charge for workplace parking in an effort to raise money and reduce traffic.

Mr Kelly, who is a Glasgow MSP, is highly critical of this scheme.

Mr Kelly has said “People should not be facing the SNP’s tax on getting to work. Workers here in Cambuslang and across Scotland do not want this tax, especially when ScotRail and local buses are a shambles under the Nationalists.”

Of course, all public transport could do with improvement, but it should be noted that ScotRail is among the best, if not the best performing rail company in the UK, despite the appalling standards of the infrastructure.

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However, as Glasgow councillor Mhairi Hunter points out “It would be awkward if Glasgow Labour’s 2017 manifesto included a commitment to investigate introducing a workplace parking levy”.

And awkward it is:

As indeed does Labour in Edinburgh.

Well, what say you, Mr Kelly?

Nothing?

Well, in the immortal words of the Presiding Officer: “Sit down, Mr Kelly”

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IF WE ARE SO RICH AND SUCCESSFUL…

Britain is supposedly one of the richest nations in the world. So a few questions.

1/ Why do people have to sleep in shop doorways?

2/ Why was there a rush of Tory MPs being photographed at food banks yesterday, making a donation and then tweeting it with a standardised message, presumably so we would all think how compassionate they are? And why has foodbank use increased so much?

3/ Why, when clearly there are many problems to be sorted, do they insist on rolling out Universal Credit?

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4/ Why do they need volunteers for the health service when we are about to get £350 million a week Brexit bonus?

5/ Why is Crossrail overdue and over budget?

6/ Why is HS2 late and over budget already?

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7/ Why are the roads such a mess of potholes?

8/ Why are the trains the most expensive and among the least efficient in Europe?

9/ Why are retirement pensions the worst in Europe and indeed the developed world?

10/ Why, at least in England and Wales, is there a dire shortage of police?

11/ Why are the Prisons in England in chaos?

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12/ Why is the probation service in England broken?

13/ Why can my friend in London not get an appointment with his GP?

14/ Why did it take around 3 months for another friend (yes, I have some) to get his grandad buried in Coventry?

15/ Why are Tory councils in England going bankrupt?

16/ Why are we spending billions on doing up the Houses of Parliament in London?

17/ Why do Vince Cable and his Scottish tea boy think there should be a second British referendum, but not a second Scottish referendum. It couldn’t be that they liked the result of the Scottish one but not the EU one, could it?

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If anyone has any other questions, please feel free to ask them. No one will have much of an answer, but hey, you’ll have done your bit by asking it.

PUNCHING WELL ABOVE THEIR WEIGHT IN INCOMPETENCE

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The Conservative Party Website announced that Chris Grayling had been appointed party chairman, and then they removed the information immediately, prompting Ian Dunt to ask on Twitter what on earth Graying had done in his 10 seconds of tenure that led to his sacking.

The site then apparently put up a warning that:

Your connection is not private.

And:

Attackers might be trying to steal your information from http://www.conservatives.com.

Then the website crashed.

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Sounds like a metaphor for Brexit if you ask me.

HELP, SOMEONE, PLEASE!

ARE THERE ANY GROWN UPS OUT THERE?

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