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4. Woman to neighbour: At the moment Henrietta gives us eggs. The day she doesn’t any more, we’ll eat her. Shop Keeper:Another dozen eggs, Henrietta?
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Thanks to Claudine.
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MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.
I turned to a local tribesman and said “That lizard’s really funny.”
The tribesman replied, “That’s not a lizard. He’s a stand up chameleon.”
*****
A recent study has shown that women who carry extra weight, tend to live longer…..
……….than the men who mention it!
*****
The Beach Boys walk into a bar.
“Round?”
“Round…”
“Get a round?”
“I’ll get a round….”
*****
An interesting morning yesterday. My wife announced, “I’ve cheated on you.”
Devastated, I responded, “Well I’ve cheated on you too.”
She then laughed and shouted, “April Fools Day.”
“Oh,” I replied. “Mine was early in March!”
*****
I just read a story in the newspaper about a guy becoming the oldest dad in the UK at 74 years old…
This is clearly inaccurate, my dad is 79!
*****
Germany has just warned its population of an upcoming sausage and cheese shortage.
They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.
*****
A couple are driving home when they run over a badger.
They get out & discover the badger is still breathing but freezing cold.
The husband says, “Put it between your legs to warm it up.”
The wife says, “But it’s all wet & it stinks.”
He says, “Well hold the badgers nose then!”
*****
I replaced my rooster with a duck.
Now I wake up at the quack of dawn.
*****
I have been teaching my dog to fetch tools from my workshop…
He’s not perfect, but he knows the drill!
*****
Have a nice day everyone
🙂
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Thanks NMRN.
Some great ones there.
April fool and the German sausage ones were my favs.
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Some good ones – number 8 could adorn some election leaflets. MNRN’s one are quite witty.
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🙂
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6 and 16, both made ne laugh!
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LOL Yep.
Me too.
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#9: One no longer swims in English (or Welsh) rivers, one merely goes through the motions.
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🙂 🙂
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Good day today, weather and stuff done, then topped off with JFAL, making it better than good.
Favourites? No 2, No 6 and No 7.
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It was a good day for getting stuff done, Alan. It only rained for a short time and the wind had reduced. Back to miserable again here now.
Glad you enjoyed. 🙂
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