1.
2. The Banana Island. How Britain made itself the laughing stock of Europe. (I think.)
3. “I would like the book ‘Working without exhausting yourself'”: “Sorry, it’s out of stock”. Not funny till you remember that “épuisé” also means exhausted in the “tired” sense as well as “finished or out of stock”.
4.
5. “Son, do you think that you teacher knows that I help you with your homework?”: I think so, mummy. She said it was impossible for me to have made so many mistakes by myself.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12. “Hello. We would like to adopt an abandoned human.” : “Sorry, we don’t have any. Animals never abandon humans.”
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18. Can I have a photograph with you, Mr ‘Unt. It will make me look important back in North Britain.
19.
20.
21. You can’t have seen me talking on the phone. It’s my wife. I can only listen.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28. If you want a job doing right…
29.
30.
Thanks to AndiMac, Brenda, Dave.
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
Ha ha, brilliant, so many good ones to relish here. I like the no.19 one about the dog poop…I use the cheap dog poop bags for food recycling, or putting uneaten cat food in to bin it. Not good for saving the planet, which seems more expensive now, eco stuff costs more.
Biden, documents, what’s going on. The republicans love it. Talking of which I watched an old film, ‘The Cat and the Canary’ 1935(?) other night, it’s very good and Bob Hope is quite funny in it. When a scaredy cat woman asks if he thinks people can ‘come back from the dead?’ Hope replies, probably the republicans can yes.
Anyone seen any bendy bananas lately? England really fell for the whole Brexit sunny uplands rubbish didn’t they. Sigh.
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Hard to believe that Joe Biden could have had all these papers out of the office for so long.
What on earth is the security like.
Didn’t he have to sign them out? Didn’t anyone check that they hadn’t been returned for over 6 years?
Yep Boris’s straight banana were a bit of a joke because he couldn’t be bothered finding anything true to write about.
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Looks like Biden has been taking papers home and forgetting about them since his days in the Senate.
Geeeeze!!!
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Never mind, Danny. One day you’ll get a president who has his head screwed on right.
I mean Obama was OK, but… that tan suit!!!!! 🙂
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Obama was doing so well…….until the tan suit incident. 🙂
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Wardrobe malfunction!
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It appears that the Keystone Cops are in charge of White House classified document security.
Biden is saying that he’s doing what the lawyers are saying he should do. (Which is apparently to hunker down and say almost nothing.) WHAT a great plan that is to deal with a political problem, since we all know how popular lawyers are. 🙂
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Goodness, did he learn that rick from the Brits?
🙂
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🙂
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I saw a headline in the National this morning with Stephen Flynn demanding that Sunak “deep clean” his Government. With all due respect, that is an impossibility. The heid bummer is a convicted person, and most, if not all of his ministers, are corrupt, evil, dishonest individuals, none of whom I would trust as far as I could throw them. Of course, it all stems from the very top, by which I mean Charlie, and his lot of dysfunctional, crooked, law avoiding relatives. Naw, the Establishment have got us by the neck, as last weeks event made clear, as if we needed any more proof. The only way is out, and the sooner the better.
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A deep clean the Tory party would involve sacking all of them and going in search of some that aren’t up to their necks in it.
In fairness some of them must have been, in the past, reasonable decent people, and maybe even some still are. But I’m struggling to think of one these days that isn’t as bent as an British banana.
As I may have said before, Johnson’s cull, where he took the whip from anyone who thought differently to him (including some VERY long term serving members) and his demands that anyone standing for the Conservatives in 2019 sign up to support whatever deal he and Frosty the no man brought back from Brussels, no matter how completely batshit it was, in order to get Brexit done, and give him all that power of patronage, left the Conservatives with very little in the way of real talent.
What is left is some hard right wing, let’s be honest, Fascists, who would destroy what little democracy Britain ever REALLY had Fanatics with nothing else on their mind but their vision and POWER…and some no mark dumbos, probably also Fascist, but with all the intellect of 30p Lee or Gullis. To call them Pound Shop Politicians would be over-pricing them.
I’m trying hard to think of one of the current crew who is competent enough to take on junior ministerial responsibilities, let alone cabinet ones.
They are left with their limited abilities to cope with one of the most difficult possible times the state has seen since the 1940s.
And there isn’t one that I’d trust to make a pot of coffee.
As for the benefit claimants at Buckingham Palace and sundry other palaces across London, a few years ago, a friend of mine sent me a book and suggested I should read it. It was the diary of the wife of an ex- minister in Cameron’s government.
It involved recounting the tales of dinners and luncheons that this minister had had where royals were involved, and instead of the usual sycophantic crap that is written about them, it seemed to give quite a balanced view of them… surprisingly.
The only ones that the woman had anything decent to say about were Eddy and Sophie. I knew nothing about them, but they came over in her book as reasonable people.
Charles, Andrew and Philip are/were ignorant self important prima donas.
Since then I’ve read aa couple of books about the family, books by proper writers, not Penny Juror or Nicholas Witchell, and what a bunch of …expletive deletives.
They are now, little more than soap star celebrities, but the “popular” press have built these very flawed people into superstars, apparently without faults… except of course for Harry and his wife who had the audacity to be mixed race.
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Nothing needs adding. 👏
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Thanks, Alan. I’m sure a lot more could be said, but there’s only a certain amount of interest, and probably we’ve exhausted it.
The Zahawi story continues to unfold … as does the Harry story.
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The current UK gov has so many ongoing scandals that none are investigated properly.
Zawahi, £800k loans, Raab bullying, investigations into Simon Case, Braverman bullying, Patel bullying, a PM with 2 fixed penalty notices against him, investigations into covid parties, Johnson lying to parliament. The list just goes on and on.
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And Mr Johnson told us that we could have the Russia report as soon as the (2019) General Election was over, but that he’d read it (LOL… was it only half a page long?) and everything was OK… Trust him!!!
I don’t think we’ve seen the Sue Gray Report either… and then there’s the noble Mone and all the other VIP lane people who sold us billions of pounds worth of PPE.
Did any other government buy billions worth of PPE that was scrap? If so who are they paying to have it destroyed and why are the suppliers not being sued?
And what about the other baroness who oversaw the Track and Trace that didn’t work but cost billions, while in Scotland and Ireland we had one that did work and cost a tiny fraction of the Great English world beating one?
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Any government pre 2016 would have fallen as a consequence of this story:
https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/prigozhin-government-russia-ukraine-hack-libel-slapp/
This is just one story out of dozens of ongoing corruption scandals.
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It’s hard to take in just how corrupt that was.
Stunning.
The UK no long plays by any rules. It really ins’t any long part of the community. Should it still be a permanent (therefor senior) member of the Security Council of the UN with a veto?
It seems to have no regard for law of any kind .
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Begging its pardon. It appears that the Russia Report has been, and was a while ago, released.
But it wasn’t completely satisfactory. It couldn’t find any evidence that Russia had interfered with the referendum or any election, but that was because it didn’t look into that.
It would be fair too to say that it didn’t find that the cost of chips had risen in Merthyr Tydfil, because it didn’t look into that either.
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A very good selection this week. I must repeat the Chinese burns one.
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🙂 I liked that one too
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No 20 – fond memories of when I first realised I could make sense of the HP sauce bottle label that had French description on one side!! (I had just started grammar school French lessons).
Happy days.
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Doh, meant No 30!!
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Well, I wondered about that… but hey, whatever triggers memories. 🙂
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Doh, No 30!!
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It’s amazing what you learn from things outside of text books.
We worked with various better ways of getting people to learn the language than poring over boring, badly written text book stories about maman, papa, et les enfants.
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Two Andimac toons this week – we are blessed. He’s not wrong about the state of Glasgow roads I tell you!
I laughed out loud at the ambulance one though really it’s not a laughing matter.
“How Britain made itself the laughing stock of Europe”
My O grade German thinks it’s “how the British made themselves the laughing stock of Europe”. Sixes and two threes I hear you say.
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Shhhh. He’ll be expecting a bonus.
The roads are shocking here too… and pretty much everywhere else. Fife is awful. But in fairness, that’s what happens after bad frosts.
I remember years ago a neighbour of mine was complaining about pot holes everywhere. In Spring the guys were all out fixing the holes and he complained about all the delays caused by this work.
I pointed out to him that there wasn’t a magic road fairy that could simply fill in the holes and re-tarmac the roads and if he wanted the holes fixed he had to tolerate delays and traffic lights.
So the twerp said, “they should do it at night, so they don;t hold up busy daytime traffic”.
Can you imagine if, just as he was dropping off to sleep, the men started with the pneumatic drills. Bloody idiot.
Danke for the correction. My German is VERY VERY limited.
Although, for a little while, in the language school where I worked, I taught beginners’ German, due to the complete lack of anyone else who spoke it.
Heaven knows how the students ever got over that.
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https://www.derbund.ch/lachnummer-europas-995868180369
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Thanks for that, Terry.
Excellent article. Not much to disagree with there.
I’d have said that one of their huge errors was picking May. She was a Remainer, even if she took very little part in the campaign. Thus the ERG/Hard right types didn’t trust her and she made the ridiculous move (to try to convince them that she could be trusted to Brexit) of sending in the notice (was it section 30?) that indicated she was ready to negotiate terms and start the clock ticking, while David Davis was still trying to find Brussels or even Belgium, on the map.
Incompetence at every single step… Again, to be fair to May, Cameron isn’t blameless. He should have stopped his ministers lying through their teeth about the Brexit bonuses that he must have known were not there. (The £350m a week for the NHS, taking back control of borders but remaining in the single market).
Yep, they do look like a banana monarchy… even worse than a banana republic in my view.
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Since that was published, things have only worsened.
How did the UK change from being a master of diplomacy and alliance building to this? The change happened in just 1 week.
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How did the UK end up here?
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-01-23/uk-urges-eu-not-to-harm-british-firms-in-us-clean-power-fight
It was visible from space that the UK would end up squeezed like this but how were those warnings not heeded?
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Absolutely.
They believed all their own slogans, despite them being so utterly obviously ridiculous,
Cakeism? A sense of innate superiority? We punch above our weight in the world, we are loved and respected by all? (as Cameron once told us Scots).
As you say. It was so obvious.
In the great scheme of things, there is Europe (including EU, EFTA and EEC) and there is the USA. They are both hugely important in terms of world trade and world power.
In fairness, as is China.
Then there’s everyone else.
Suck it up, Britain.
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It has to come from the top.
The state has been lumbered with some of the worst politicians it has ever had.
Is there one member of the current government you would trust to do anything?
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Aahhh, that was good and two toons from Andi.
No23, tickles me and No. 30 is bang on, nothing was as riveting as the back of the cereal packet at breakfast. On a par with the newspaper that you are just about to screw up to light the fire with, even though it is weeks old, some now historic article becomes fascinating.
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I wonder if anyone could find anything interesting in a newspaper now?
Another picture of Middleton in yet another new frock?
Another lie from Sunak?
Another fiddle from another cabinet minister?
After a while, they all meld together…
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Lol lol, my wee shrivelling, Calvinistic soul, re the newspaper, was anthropomorphising, an echo of our own mortality and how quickly the journey to dust.
Morose, me? Not yet anyway,
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https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FnJgiRfXwAEgwg9?format=jpg&name=small
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Here’s a good Joke….
The Tory party
Here’s another one…
The Labour party
And just to spoil you all….here’s another one…
The Lib Dem party….
There are others ….as in other political (allegedly) parties too…too many to mention and also they keep changing their party name that it becomes impossible to keep up…..
Have a nice day everyone
🙂
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Certainly all jokes.. and let’s be honest, looked at in the right way, they certainly are laughable.
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I thought this was funny:
Braveheart
@braveheart13205
·
3h
Good to see there will be an independent investigation into Zahawi. We can expect the results about the same time as Sue Gray report, Michelle Mone investigation, Russian Report, Gove’s Scottish independence Poll, test & trace £37b fiasco, multiple PPI scandals, the list goes on.
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The “independent” investigation will be run by Tory donor, Sir Laurie Magnus, a banker who went to Eton and Oxford, inherited his title and was made Chairman of Historic England by David Cameron.
So, bound to be as sound as the pound… (when Liz Truss gets her hands on it).
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