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3. Did you know it takes 3 sheep to knit a pullover? To be honest, I didn’t know that sheep could knit.
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7. Why is the electricity bill so high?
Alexa, switch on the lights. Alexa, switch on the tv. Alexa, put on some music…
8. I’m sure his real name is Corrine. What do you think?
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13. Committee Against Bird Slaughter (CABS)
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15. See No 1!!!
16. Hello. I like 5 kilos of spuds. Big ones or little ones? Little ones. They’ll be lighter to carry.
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21. This was put up on Twitter in response to actor Jim Murray‘s comments about Southern Water pumping masses of raw sewage on to the the roads of Brambridge and then piped directly into the river Itchen today.
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25. For non-UK readers. This is a reference to the loonie in No 10’s latest distraction from the hunger and cold and the fact that most of England is on strike, which is that in England everyone will have to study maths until they are 18. Completely mad, if for no other reason than many people leave school at 16.
Thanks to Andi, TM, Brenda and Conan.
Late Extra!
From Dave:
Think yourself lucky you’re not in England and getting extra Maths!!!
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
12; Douglas Adams.
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A good line …. huh?
It has made a lot of people angry.
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More wry smiles that outright laughter for the politics ones! Well said Andimac, I’m sick of Harry’s whining. And Andrew tick tock – it appears the gagging clause silencing Virginia Giuffre only lasts a year which is nearly up! Ā£12 million for a year? Seems they knew the Queen wasn’t going to last.
However I’ve some news from our canine correspondent
“It’s bad enough that SS was full of cats, but now they’re in JFAL too. I blame that PP. Though ArtyHetty and Tatu are feline fans too.” š
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You just can’t get away from cats, can you?
Just as well Munguin likes them as long as they don;t chase his birds and his mice and don’t use the grounds of the Towers as toilets.
Knowing that a not very well old woman of 95 wasn’t going to last long hardly took much foresight.
Ā£12 million a year. Nothing to them. They’ll find a way of charging us with it.
As for Harry, well, I dislike and disapprove of all of them, but more power to his elbow letting out stuff they like to keep hidden.
If it brings about their downfall I’d buy him a
pint.
I’m sure one of Charlie’s territories overseas would love to host him and his massive expensive bad tempered family.
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Our cat only ever caught one bird and let him go once he was shouted at. I tell him ‘we love the birds so leave them alone!’ Seems to work, mice, hmm, I cry if he brings a wee one in and it’s to far gone to revive. It is a problem because cats are now chipped so rarely see them them with collars and bells on to warn the birds. š¦
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That’s why I chase them out of the garden.
I don’t dislike cats at all, but my garden is a haven for wildlife and they ruin it. There are mice and birds everywhere. It attracts cats.
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Cat gets the very occasional bird – and I once saw it hit a grey squirrel so hard that I’d be surprised if it didn’t kill it*. There’s been no mice in the house since the mog arrived.
*A Mexican film called “Amor Es Perros” featured a car crash. That’s how hard the cat hit the squirrel.
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Maybe the cat didn;t kill the mice. Mice know when htere’s a ca around. They probably packed their bags.
My mice are in a locked shed and the only people who enter are me and Robbie the robin who seems to love to pay them a visit and eat any of their leftovers!
š
Some times I wonder how that bird gets off the ground.
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Osland, as always, has a wickedly humorous take on events:
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No 8. He’s only Corrine on weekends !
Gwyn
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LOL, yes, I’ve heard that. š š
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Hm. A propos of not very much, here’s a little versicle taught me by my Brazilian partner many years ago:
Maria sapatĆ£o, sapatĆ£o, sapatĆ£o
De dĆa ĆŖ MarĆa, de noite ĆŖ JoĆ£o.
Maria the dyke, the dyke, the dyke
By day her name’s Maria, by night she goes by John.
The word sapatĆ£o (transparent meaning “big shoe”) for dyke, lesbian, is no longer pejorative in Brazil (I wouldn’t know about Portuguese Portuguese), as it’s been reclaimed by gay women. By “reclaim” I mean the process whereby the stigmatized community takes a term used as an insult by the mainstream and uses it proudly of themselves. “Queer” is an example in English.
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Your off topic interventions are often fascinating.
š
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Harryā¦did he really say that he killed lots of people when in Afghanistan ? We read it in the newspapers hear it on tv and radio but did he really say that ?
If he did he is a fool , someone somewhere will want payback so he puts himself and family in danger.
But hang on , the newspapers tv and radio have been hating him since he married would they print lies about what he said ?
Of course they would , they already have
How do you ever know when what you are reading in newspapers on hearing on tv and radio in U.K. is the truth ? ā¦..you donāt.
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The only news I REALLY honestly believe is in the FT.
Anything else may well be printed for money, clickbait or as a nod nod wink wink favour. (Knighthood next year.)
It’s a shame that it’s come to this. It used to be that newspapers printed the news and then added editorials and features which expressed an opinion.
I think that all the newspapers are against him… maybe because he married a woman of mixed colour (royals don’t like black people) who was also American (royals don’t like Americans).
I read that the Daily Mail has been disqualified by Wikipedia as a reliable source!
As for being a fool. I think the whole family are pretty foolish. Just as well they didn’t actually have to achieve anything to get to where they got, well, except being born, or if they are female, marrying one of the dullards.
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Today’s times of london has an article attacking the doctors.
Seems the leader is a left wing Corbynista and has influenced the young doctors to vote for a strike.
Nothing unusual in that except,
The website carries the same article with comments, the comments carry time tags from 3 weeks ago.
Isn’t that great that the readers of the times are 3 weeks ahead of the publication of an article?
Of course they have just re-published an article from 3 weeks ago but failed to say that.
The old propaganda is the best stuff, makes paying for new ones unnecessary.
Saw a wee clip of london based journalists making fools of themselves on their arithmetic skills, funny if not so serious.
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Ah, a doctor who cares about people?
Imagine?
The Times must be short of articles.
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Every time i or my wife have been to our G.P. practice itās virtually empty I have friends who say they have the same experience .
I read yesterday that G.P.s are not on a salary from government or NHS like other staff are , they are treated as self employed with the tax perks that brings , the G.P. practices are paid by government an amount commensurate with the number of patients that are registered with the practice , the more patients registered the more money the practice gets it matters not how many patients the G.P.s actually see its all down to how many are registered so there you have it an obvious flaw in the system that can encourage large patient registers but few of those patients actually seen by a G.P. it also explains why there isnāt more done by practices to stop people who make appointments and donāt turn up.
The system is good for part time G.P.s of which there are many more than there ever used to be.
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I can’t remember which one of the parties brought this in. Labour or Tories,
Sounds more Tory, but then, Tony Blair!!!
A lot of part time GPs. Mine only does 3 days a week because she has young kids. Nice woman, not their fault. It’s the system.
They are some sort of small business.
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I remember it as Tony Blair’s offering to the Health Service. Doctor’s negotiators went in for the fight, didn’t have time to drink the tea. Straight back out, before the offer was changed, couldn’t believe their luck.
This is the one I remember;
https://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/19618517.gp-crisis-dates-back-massive-pay-rise-given-blair/
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Blair. That explains a lot.
Thanks Alan.
I do remember that the vast increase in money meant that some doctors from Europe decided to work here.
If I recall at the time, doctors in France earned approximately half of that they did in Britain, but there were twice as many of them.
And it affected all of Great Britain because Labour was in power in England, Scotland and Wales.
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I think he was an Apache helicopter pilot so more than likely did kill some Taliban. Such things happen in wars. (I’m definitely not in favour of wars btw, just stating a fact)
I imagine the Taliban have known for years he killed some of their guys, so can’t imagine he is anymore at risk now than he has been since he served in the Armed Forces
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Oh he definitely did kill some people. As you say that’s what happens in war – horrible as it is. However what you don’t do if you’re Services is announce to the public how many you’ve killed. That’s verboten in their military codes. He knows this.
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He’s royal. We all know that norms do not apply to them.
They can go 300 miles to a climate conference in a private plane, avoid paying taxes, avoid laws that other people have to adhere to.
What they gonna do… court marshal?
š I think it’s all hilarious.
They are ruining themselves and bringing even more derision on Britbin.
Pass the popcorn.
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Anti war here too, Tatu. You’d have thought that by now we could find ways to settle disputes without the primitive “go to war and kill each other” solution.
I guess all soldiers on active duty may kill people. Isn’t that their function?
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Try the bomb aimer on the B29, Enola Gay, above Hiroshima.
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I think Harry is a great risk if he has said in his book that he killed 25 people when serving in Afghanistan , there will be people who want revenge.The problem in U.K. and other countries is that they always assume that the reports they get on their home news channels is the truth , often itās not , donāt you think itās strange that all the wars U.K. and USA have been involved in since WWII have taken place in ā other ā countries ? none of them in U.K. or USA , do you really believe that they were defending U.K. or USA ? in all of them ? Overseas ? Is that likely ?
People fighting in Afghanistan who live in Afghanistan who are Afghan nationals will see things from their perspective they will see those forces from other countries as aggressors invading them , those who are from other countries who say they killed people will without doubt be targets .
Not all forces personnel become targets because some donāt kill anyone but if you do openly declare that you did , watch out !
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The USA is the world’s policeman (or so they say) and for a long time Britain played the role of its deputy.
To the best of my recollection, either alone or in the company of other right wing regimes Italy and Spain or France), they seem to have poked their ignorant noses into a lot of wars, usually with disastrous results, because they don’t know anything about the country or the people they are fighting.
Republicans and Democrats/ Labour and Tory.
You only have to look at Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Syria, Libya… to see what I mean.
I don’t have much of an opinion on whether Harry will be at risk, probably because I don’t much care.
I don’t wish harm on people, but if he did kill people and was stupid enough to brag about it…well, he should have known the consequences.
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And Ukraine has to count as a proxy war.
This lecture by Prof Mearsheimer explains the background to Ukraine and the attack on Georgia. Would be interested in reactions, opinions. Not a short but I found it worthwhile, including the Q&A section.
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I’ve have a look tonight, Alan.
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A good example of how the Ukraine war came about expertly explained.Pity he is in a minority he has so much knowledge about the tension areas of the world.
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Voices did advise them that it was a stupid move and would come with a heavy price.
Right back to the 2008 NATO conference.
And now Westminster has signed a pact with Japan. Is this part of the Nissan, Toyota deal to get them to stay post brexit, or at the behest of USA?
The Prof’s lecture was, I think, delivered pre Trump. Liz Cheney’s anti Trump stance doesn’t fit her voting record. Considering her father’s support, could it be that Trump needed to go because he wasn’t interested in overseas adventures, and that is no good for profits in the arms industry? I think she also fancies her chances as the first female president.
Not a conspiracy theory to fly with, but it can sit on my suspicion shelf in the room of ignorance.
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They say it’s quoted from his book which was released prematurely in Spain last week. The English version is due this week so it will be easy to see what it’s in it then if you see it in a shop. I agree the press can and do lie but I’m not sure that’s what happened here.
They can hardly say he says he killed 25 Taliban in his book when the book doesn’t mention it at all.
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Getting my copy on Wednesday, so will let you know what’s in it
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Great. It will be interesting. Thanks.
Mainly because hopefully it’s gonna shake the roots of the royal family.
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He really did say that but it’s not clear what tone he used in the book. I guess we’ll find out soon.
It was actually all over the newspapers about 10 years ago. Back then, though, the tabloids gave it a more jingoistic flavour, as though it was an uncontroversially good thing. Now that they’ve turned on him, they say he’s a callous fool compromising his own security and the safety of his ex-colleagues.
Whatever stupid thing they print today will just be upstaged by something even more stupid in a few years’ time.
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Anything that will sell a paper and make them more money. Doesn’t have to be true or logical or fit in with what they wrote last week never mind 10 years ago. (Witness “Truss delivered a REAL Conservative budget” for a whole day and then the next she had broken the country… not a hint of “ooops we may have got it wrong yesterday”.
They count on their readership being pretty dim and very biased.
And as has been shown, they care not a whit who they hurt, or possibly even kill. It did the business and made the money.
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“Only [insert Tory here] can save the UK. “
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LOL. That’s the template.
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Hm. “Only I can fix it”, eh?
“Only Nadine Dorries can fix it” – good lord. I must away and have a fit of the vapours, and not come back until after the next General Election.
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Buy which time the Noble Lady Dorries of Johnson will doubtless be smiling at you from the House of Peers…
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House of Peers… those who pee, right? Like the noble Lord ffoulkes of Cumnock, perhaps?
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Exactly where they got the name.
To be fair, it wasn’t that particular noble baron, the old geezers have had a habit of doing it over the years.
Could have been worse.
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I have no idea what I’m responding to right now, Tris, as it’s vanished from what passes for my mind between hitting the reply button and seeing the reply box come up.
Could be that that’s yet another marble away.
Anyway, at one point in my multistoried career, my office window overlooked the main entrance, on the other side of the street, of the Procter & Gamble headquarters in Switzerland. (Purely coincidentally, it served as the main exit as well.) There were so many old white guys coming in and out of that building that they should have renamed the place Prostate & Grumble.
I say “office”, but it was actually a stationery cupboard – the organization was very short of space and needed a new building, which it eventually got, so I didn’t feel done down about it. The cupboard, strangely, did have a window, thus the overlook, but also an electric pencil sharpener and a constant flow of people coming in and out, asking me where to find the toner cartridges for whatever photocopier had just wheezed its last on them. It was not an ideal working space, but at least there was never any shortage of paperclips, and there were Tippex bottles Ć gogo to sniff if I felt like getting high.
Such was the life of a junior International Civil Servant in the latter part of the last century.
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Ah, Ed… the life of a globe-trotting globe trotter isn’t all glamourous restaurants and meetings with world personalities and heads of government.
Love the Proctor story. Are you sure you read the sign outside right. It maybe said Proctologist Grim-Begrenzt
š
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A day is a long time in the rich cynic’s life.
Today he’s saying ‘Transparency’ is so important in politics.
Yesterday when asked about his medical situation, he wouldn’t answer.
Last week it was ‘No Tricks’ and honest government.
5 promises without details.
Still he’s the unelected dictator in westmonster.
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Transparency? From the Tories?
Nicola Sturgeon was apparently asked the same questions today.
Her answer : No I don’t and I never have.
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Alternative text for Pic 24:
“I would call the cops, but I can’t see the point.”
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LOL…
Munguin’s been worried about you DonDon. He though maybe a spider has been chasing you.
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For a laugh,
The wetherspoons pub has apologised for sourcing eggs from the EU.
There is a shortage it seems, my local free-range supplier has stopped selling due to bird flu.
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Yes, dire shortage.
They are being rationed here.
The farm I get them from is Ok, so far and very cheap.
Poor old Weatherspoons, eh?
They just keep on falling down that hole.
They need staff form the EU and Eggs.
I bet some of the spirits and beers they sell come from there too.
What a twerp he is.
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Good selection this week. Laughed at the knitting(or not) sheep and the lion in the lift.
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Yes, I was pleased I found that one about the knitters.
Just imagining that lions tale…
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The lion in the lift got me, I think it was just seeing the lion’s arse, that wee flick of the tail and the closing doors making a tiny tin box. Enjoyed all though.
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š
You’d not have wanted to be in that lift!
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