WHAT do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm? A tattoo.
MOTHER to daughter: : “Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and you get rid of him for a whole weekend.”
SHE phones hubby to tell him the car has broken down.
“There’s water in the carburettor.”
“Where’s the car?”
“In the river.”
5.
HOSPITAL doctors went on strike. Unsure as to what their grievances and demands were, the hospital administrators arranged for a pharmacist to get over there and read their picket signs.
11.
Thanks to Erik, John, Graham, Brenda.
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
I hope they introduce those banknotes in England. That would be a hoot.
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Well they have to change their notes anyway given the change in management, so why not?
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Lots of home truths this week: trombonist’s arm, beer drinker’s liver . . .
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Oh I thought you were referring to the bank notes…
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DonDon, I was puzzled by the trombonist. As a horn player yourself, is it becuase the arm ismoing all the time? If so, the same woud apply to a fiddler and other instrumentalits. Guffaws and grins to get the morn off to a happy start as the sun rises over Bulgaria.
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Yes, that puzzled me too.
Why a trombonist’s arm especially?
What kind of horn do you play?
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I think it’s because the trombone – despite its…erm…rather obvious symbolism – is regarded as a deeply unsexy instrument, which attribute is transferred to the poor sod who plays it.
On the subject of politics, here’s a great clip from the late Trinidadian comedian (and politician!) John Agitation:
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That was brilliant!!
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‘Is moving’. Fat morning fingers as well. Here’s another William T parody that might add the mirth, and my Torydeas client has come up with more remarkable strategies that will provoke laughs or horror. https://www.torydeas.org/
TWEEDLE-DI-TORI-DA
Kwasi puts the frighteners on the marketplace
Lizzy is the leader of his band
Kwasi says to Lizzy, “Girl, we’ve lost the place,”
And Liz says this as she slaps him on the hand
Tweedle-dum-Tori-da, strife goes on, Yeah!
La-la, how the strife goes on
Tori-dum-Tweedle-da, strife goes on, Yeah!
La-la, how the strife goes on
Kwasi’s off his trolley in the chancer’s job (Chu chu chu)
Sends sterling shorters’ tills ker-ching! (Ring)
But Lizzy isn’t having any more of it
And as she reverses the tax cuts, begins to sing (Sing)
Tweedle-di-Tori-dum, strife goes on, Yeah!
La-la, how the strife goes on
Tori-dum-Tweedle-da, strife goes on, Yeah!
La-la, how the strife goes on
In a couple of weeks, they have ditched, all economic tomes
With policies not thought for very long or very hard
By Lizzy and Kwasi and their right-wing clones (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
Never happy ever after in the marketplace
Kwasi’s cost to public finances be damned (Arm, leg!)
Lizzy found it very hard to keep her place
Didn’t last too long as leader of the band
Yes!
Tweedle-di-Tori-dum, strife goes on, Yeah!
La-la, how the strife goes on
Tori-dum-Tweedle-da, strife goes on, Yeah!
La-la, how the strife goes on
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Watch out, McCartney! 🙂
Off to look at Torydeas.
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Great parody of Ob-La-Di, by the way.
A favorite of mine, but I am never sure how many quids make a trolley.
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John Mac’s verses are so great,
I think he should be the Poet Laureate.
I’d go further and say, all in all,
He’s up there with William Topaz McGonagall!
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He’s Munguin’s Makar.
There is surely NO higher honour.
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No 14 ….. so true
No 21 ….. 🤣🤣🤣
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Agreed, No 21 caused me to cover the keyboard in cereal!!
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OOoops. Sorry! 🙂
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Some good ones today, loved the dogs and fireworks. Can I go to the same place please! I mean it wasn’t even our parliament they were blowing up though it would have been our king (post union of crowns, pre union of parliaments). So why do we have to celebrate it with really NOISY fireworks!
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No idea.
We don’t celebrate Australian events…
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Oh, I don’t think so, Liz!
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And the cat got up and slowly walked away.
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I wonder if it’s fair for Larry the cat to not have a loving home with loving owners…he must feel a bit insecure, I know I would. Our cat is sitting on my shoulder as I type, that’s real pet care. 😀
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Larry is probably looked after by the servants; the downstairs mob.
He was wondering who this ghastly old woman with a annoying accent was, and took off to look for the under downstairs maid who always gives him cuddles.
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I guess so, a bit like all of our pet cats really, we r their servants lol!
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Maybe Larry is like Nicola.
Just reading that Barristers have been given a 15% pay rise, backdated.
Meanwhile, rail workers, BT workers, nurses, armed forces and all other low paid have to put up with whatever.
Maybe the tories are worried that they might be needing a good barrister soon.
Just laughed at sky tory media calling out Nicola as dangerous with her comment on tory policies.
They must be totally deaf to what is going on.
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Nice work for barristers.
They went on strike, if I remember rightly, bringing courts in England into chaos.
So, there’s yer answer, people. If you want a rise in line with inflation… you know what to do. Be a barrister.
Nicola said she hated THE Tories, not individuals, and the likes of Bowie got upset. AWWWW.
Who doesn’t hate the Tories?
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Number 24, I’ve got one of those lamps was just looking at it last week. I also have very similar one that you put a tealight in, it’s really good for warming up the living room along with about 7 other tealights. I don’t have a hat like that but my sis in law in Australia crocheted me a hat for winter, it’s too embarrassing to wear outside. I don’t think she likes me much lol!
Love all the rest of the pics today, thanks some very funny. Laughs always welcome. 🙂
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Actually the hat is also too embarrassing to wear inside.
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Oh go on… keep you warm.
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People who (for some reason known only to God) like to knit, have to knit some THING. And the nature of yarn being what it is, the object can’t be something rectangular and flat and useful, like a bath towel. It’s always an article of clothing, and knitted clothing always looks silly and embarrassing. In theory, knitted house slippers might be OK, since house slippers usually look silly anyway, but it’s apparently hard to knit footwear.
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I had a great aunt who always knitted me a jumper for Christmas.
It was always utterly horrible and I never wore it, except when made to by my mother for visits to my aunt’s house.
Not so bad when I was 7 or 8, but by the time I was 12…. Embarrassing!
Fortunately we moved to England when I was 12 and we didn’t see her again, so the jumpers went straight to a charity shop.
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LOL…….I had a similar experience with the wife of a university friend. She knitted me a cardigan (open front) sweater. (Which might be called a jumper in British English.) It looked like all knitted clothing looks (weird), and didn’t really fit well, but I had to wear it from time to time. She put a lot of work into it no doubt. 🙂
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I imagine that knitting is really hard to do and it’s not for lack of work that it looks bad.
I guess machine knits are better.
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Yes, knitting is something that machines seem to do better. 🙂
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LOL, indeed.
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I am really not a knitter. Nor is my mum or my sisters. Christmas 2019 my daughter bought me a book teaching children to knit and last christmas I managed to knit a scarf for my grandson. Though like Danny says above, it looks silly and I imagine he doesn’t wear it.
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LOL Tatu…….At least a scarf is a good choice for a beginner at knitting. It’s flat and has straight edges (no sleeves or special shapes required), and it’s actually useful on a cold winter day. Even if it’s not great, it tends to be partially hidden around your neck and under a coat. 🙂
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LOL.
I think more than ever now with everything having to have a label, that’s probably true.
If you’d sewn an Armani Label on it…. maybe?
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Designer labels are everywhere. We needed some new towels, since the last super cheap ones we bought at Walmart ($2.00 hand towels….$6.00 bath towels) soon felt like sandpaper and were falling apart. We found that better quality towels can be very pricey ($30 to $100 and up.) We finally found some in the region between $2 and $100, but they had designer labels. So we passed on those too. However good they are, you must be paying for the labels, even if the labels are sewed on towels.
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LOL True.
Here all these things are made in the same sweat shops in South East Asia. OK, the material may be better in the designer ones, but fundamentally there are the same cheap stuff. But no one cares because a lot of staff is only ever worn half a dozen times and thrown out as being “last year”.
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It’s like an Andy Pandy hat. 🙂
I’m sure you’ll look stunning in it 🙂
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OT
What a speech from Nicola.
She describes the kind of country I want.
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