JUST FOR A LAUGH

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3. LIBERTY, YOU SAY?

A cute secretary, none cuter,

Was replaced by a clicking computer;

’Twas the wife of the boss

Put the deal across,

You see the computer was neuter.

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Fellow takes a work colleague home at 7.30pm without forewarning his wife.

She screeches at him: “My hair’s a mess. I’m in my old clothes. The dishes aren’t washed from breakfast. And you bring someone home without telling me!”

The guest is mouth agape.

“How can you do this to me?” she yells. Then she bursts into tears.

“He’s thinking of getting married,” says hubby. I’m just giving him a demo.”

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A frightened man goes to the Russian secret police and says: “My talking parrot disappeared.”

“Why did you come here? Go to the regular police.”

“I will. I’m just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say.”

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Negotiations between union members and their employer are at an impasse. The union denies that  workers are abusing their contracts’ sick-leave provisions.

The company’s chief negotiator heolds aloft a newspaper. “This man called in sick yesterday.”

There on the sports page is a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who has just won a local golf tournament with a sensational score.

Union negotiator: “Wow, think of what kind of score he could have had if he wasn’t sick!”

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16. Some very odd statuary in Australia!

A shifty-looking fellow in a kilt walks into a London pub.

He orders a pint and very very carefully puts down the plastic bag he’s carrying.

Bartender: “What’s that?”

“Explosives.”

“Phew, is that all? I thought it might be bagpipes.”

17.

18. Ooops.

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21.

22. Ouch.

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Thanks to Andi, Quokka, John, Erik, Brenda, Graham, TM.