It appears that I am now very rich because I got this in the mail today:
Juan Nombo <lu0444440@naver.com>
To:tribhu@hotmail.com
Bcc:trispricewilliams@yahoo.com
Fri, 13 May at 10:19
Dear Friend
My Name is Mr.Juan nombo, I am a banker by profession. I hail from
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso, West Africa. My reason for contacting you is
to transfer abandoned sum of $10,200.000 (Ten Million Two Hundred
Thousand Dollars) to your account.
The owner of this fund died in 2003 with his Next Of Kin. I want to
present you to the bank as the Next of Kin/beneficiary of this fund.
Further details of the transaction shall be forwarded to you as soon
as I receive your return mail indicating your interest. You can reply
me with this email:mr.juannombo@gmail.com
Your Full Name…………………
Your Sex…………………………..
Your Age………………………….
Your Country………………………
Your Occupation…………………….
Your Passport /driving license…….
Your Marital Status………………….
Your Personal Mobile Number………………..
Your Personal Fax Number………………..
Best regards,
Mr.Juan Nombo
Unfortunately Munguin has refused to allow me to reply on the basis that if I were that rich I would be even richer than he is… and I wouldn’t want to work for him for next to nothing.
15.
Roses are red
Passports areblue
Please stand over there
In the laughing stock queue.
18.
“Meister Rembrandt,” said Lady Catharina. “Thank you for agreeing to paint me, but there is one thing we have not yet discussed.”
Rembrandt stopped his preparations and looked up inquiringly.
“Yes,” she continued. “I would like you to paint me in the nude.”
The old painter was about to object when she continued: “No, I insist. I will pay 1000 guilders extra. Please do not think to refuse me.”
“Well, this is a very unusual request, so please give me a moment to consult with my wife.”
He returned smiling a few minutes later. “All right, my wife says it’is fine, but you’ll have to let me keep my socks on, because of my bad chest.”
19.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. – Douglas Adams.
23.
THEY’RE at a dance club celebrating 20 years of marriage. A guy on the dance floor is break dancing, moon walking, doing back-flips.
She: “See that guy? He once proposed to me and I turned him down.”
He: “Looks like he’s still celebrating!”
24.
Laugh and the world laughs with you
Snore and you sleep alone.
(Anthony Burgess)
28.
Thanks to Brenda, Erik, John, Andi, Graham, John le Plume and Twitter/Facebook.
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
Marriage: get the system right
LIFE is increasingly like a computer puzzle. Consider this anguished appeal to Tech Support from a young lady.
“Dear Tech Support,
“Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
“In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled other valuable programs such as Romance9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as National Boxing Association 5.0, National Football League 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
“Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system
“Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
“What can I do?”
“Desperate!”
Response:
“Dear Desperate,
“First keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
“Please enter command: I thought you loved me .html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
“If that application works as designed Husband 1.0 should then automatically run all the applications Jewellery 2.0 nd Flowers 3.5.
“However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
“Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.
“Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-in-law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.
“In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0
“In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
“You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
“We recommend Cooking 3.0
“Good luck!
“Tech Support”.
Graham.
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Pic 18 looks like FRAPORT.
Thanks a bunch, Brexiteers.
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And they could have had blue passports from a French company, manufactures in Poland, without leaving the EU, whereby they would actually have been some use.
Oh well!
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№2:
I haven’t seen a Hägar the Horrible strip for ages. I remember that one though.
The Sunday Mail ran it, with a shorter strip in the Daily Record. That particular strip was so popular that it was made available as a poster by the Mail.
It’s well over 30 years old; Dik Browne, the creator, retired in 1988. Apparently the strip is still going; Browne’s son writes it, but doesn’t draw it.
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Interesting, Drew. I’d never seen it before, but it looks amusing!
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Thanks for the platypus, Andi. That would be the Duke-Billed (£12m) variety?
Like Drew, I well remember that Hagar strip. It appeared in the morning paper in Durban (South Africa) where I was living at the time and prompted much attention-directioning from friends who thought I might have missed it. Ages well, though.
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Love that duck billed (£12 million), John!
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Re the first one, don’t visit an English seaside resort until after this royal thingy is over. I have just returned home after visiting a couple with the family. It will just be the same all over. Cheap nasty Chinese made souvenirs and bunting everywhere. It should help the Chinese economy.
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Thanks for that marcia. Unfortunately too late. Leave shortly for a Lancashire seaside resort!!!
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Take dark glasses, Alex. All that garish red white and blue will do your eyes damage.
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I’ve not seen much here in Dundee, Marica.
I seem to recall a while ago Home Bargains (great for bird food), there were some very unflattering plastic models of Lizzie. Clearly the manufacturers had never seen her.
Is it next month?
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2nd to 8th June is the Royal Week. Yes, a week.
For a laugh watch this video.
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Oh dear.
An underwater bridge.
Don’t tell Boris Johnson and Jack Boots about that. That will be the next proposal.
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I’m perfectly capable of ruining my own day, without any external influence; but my day today was ruined wi’ the first look oot the windae!
Rain > plans > kiboshed.
Mind you I’ve been busy, so loafing around and catching up with Munguin’s realm and elsewhere is lifting the mood.
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Munguin did much the same thing, Drew, but he sent Tris out to get some food and ensure that Bertie the Blackbird had some food for his chicks.
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LOL LOL…
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Thankfully Tris had published No 7.
I was saved from the johnson heinrich when on the train this morn i picked up a daily hail so called Scottish edition.
It is full of bile.,I put it in the first bin.
The Scottish story was the secret diary of Nicola Sturgeon.
Strange that they ignored the Russian report, Ms Grey’s report, the MET report on fines and the buffoon’s lies.
A quick run through the rest was englaner news, 80% adverts from south of the Hadrian line.
That really upset my morning., some poor soul paid for the rubbish.
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Look on the bright said, Dave. It wisnae you!
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Lets have some good news,
The train was warmand clean, left on time and arrived on time.
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Are you sure you weren’t in Switzerland?
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Must be the time we live in.
Do you know you can’t tell the railway company how well they did, the cheery ticket checker, you can only complain on their website and need to have your ticket and time.
Come on SG, we all need a wee clap when we do well.
Like the Matt Green quote today.
What’s your favoutite version of send in the clowns?
Buffoon
ofgem
BoE
allison of TUV
Kwasi
Oh hell there’s too many
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Then there’s the USA!!! This maybe just beats Kwasi!
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Two days late and just a catch up, just had to respond to the Jake Trapper interview (?)
Not much he can do about brain cells but he could put in some effort on appearance. The slack jaw and soft blinking, glaikit stare would be an easy fix. Sheesh, three terms he’s been voted in. Maybe all his voters were related to him.
That does beat Kwasi.
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LOL. Corker, huh.
You have to ask, in a state that has no state religion and that bans religion in schools in its constitution, why he thinks he would HAVE to swear on a bible.
Gives the impression of being “thick as ****”
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Sadly, due to work schedule, along with a wisdom tooth extraction, I was away from Munguin’s for a couple of days and missed a golden opportunity to post a response to Marcia’s post about geographic ignorance, and your post about Bible-swearing ignorance in the USA.
Religious people in the USA seem blissfully ignorant of the fact that the only mention of state religion in the US Constitution is……as you point out……to expressly FORBID it. Many Americans even believe that the presidential oath as specified in the constitution concludes with the words “so help me God.” In fact, neither the WORD “God” nor any reference to a deity is in the constitution at all. George Washington ad libbed “so help me God” at the end of the presidential oath at his first inaugural in New York City in 1789, and it became a custom. As for a Bible, they forgot to bring one, so they borrowed one from a Masonic Lodge up the street. That Bible is still used occasionally at presidential inaugurations, but no Bible or any other Holy book is required for any swearing in to any public office. Congress however maintains a stack of different Holy books that new members can choose from as they desire.
As for incompetence with language and extemporaneous public speaking, related to a geographic question asked of a 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant contestant, we have this example. I hope to post this on some later Munguin entry about geography, where it might gain more attention. She became instantly famous in US media.
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Brilliant Danny, couldn’t but wonder where she might gone with that, without the time pressure. The engine was running, gears were selected but nobody was in the driving seat.
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LOL ……Yes Alan, you do wonder where she might have gone if that bell hadn’t rung. 🙂
It’s worth noting that Donald Trump owned the Miss Teenage America pageant at the time, and his intellect may have had some effect on the proceedings.
Wiki provides a transcript for people who wish to study the reply in greater detail. 🙂
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caitlin_Upton
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He seems to leave a trail or idiocy wherever he goes.
If he’s still in Florida, I’ll be the average IQ level there has dropped by at least 5 points!
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A young Jimmy Kimmel took notice:
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Ho ho ho…
I suspect most nations have people like Miss South Carolina.
2nd question: Do you know what a sentence is?
Hope you’re not in too much pain with the tooth extraction. Munguin wondered if, having lost a “wisdom” tooth, you might be any less wise now… because he relies on your wisdom… and if you ARE less wise, he would be obliged to reduce your salary. Just a word of warning!
🙂
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LOL Tris…….Sentence-free, punctuation-free, thought-free…….it has everything.
I see that the Wikipedia article in its printed transcript completed her last line with words to form a sentence. Words I don’t hear in the YouTube video.
This article has a 13 minute NPR radio program embedded, with Mo Rocca trying to make some sense of it using her actual words. 🙂 (It has a transcript in case the audio program won’t play.)
https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17759344
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And for the record, where is Ms. Teen South Carolina? Where is she right now on January 1st, 2008? Well, I’m not really sure. But I do know she signed with the Trump Agency a few weeks after that whole kafuffle, and intends to spend part of 2008, modeling in Spain, Italy and Australia. She said, quote, “It might not be great money, but the pictures will be great and I can build my portfolio,” end quote.
I can only imagine that Trump treated her with the total respect due to his intellectual superior!
Maybe.
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Tris……..The Wiki article has some things about her subsequent career, but I don’t really know what she did with the Trump organization. Interesting to see the video reuniting her and the TV host of the pageant. I remember her appearance on the TODAY program……NBC’s top rated morning show…….and that somebody had written her a better answer that she recited on the program. (Wiki also has the TODAY show answer…..LOL.) All in all, I guess she didn’t do badly in later years. Still famous after all these years……..for a crazy answer to a beauty pageant question. 🙂
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caitlin_Upton
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Glad that it seems to have worked out not too bad for her. I thought her explanation of what happened to her answer was convincing and understandable.
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LOL Tris……Very little pain at all from the extraction, except perhaps from anticipation of a reduced stipend from Munguin for reduced wisdom. 🙂
No doubt Trump’s presence lowers the IQ level of anything he’s associated with. During the 2016 presidential campaign, he made comments about being the owner of the pageant and having access to the dressing room of the teenage girls.
The man has a LOT of class! ……LOL.
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I remember his comments… shared with someone on tour with him. It seemed to me that it pretty much summed up who he was. And how similar he might be to Mr Johnson.
I’m glad you’re having very little pain, although the adjustment in your lifestyle may be less than easy!
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🙂
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I like the Hagar the Horrible cartoon. And Andi’s “Jubilee” cartoon too. 🙂
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