From: Munguin Southern Towers, Antarctica.

To: The Daily Mail, England

Dear Daily Mail,

I’m an animal that likes to give credit where it is due, even to people with whom I tend not to much agree.

In this case I am referring to Ms Pritti Patel, who, when she hasn’t been bullying people to the point where they attempt suicide or are obliged to give up their lifelong careers for the sake of their sanity, has been working to take away freedom of movement from the peoples of Europe.

Taking back control of her borders, she said.

She, poor woman, has worked her fingers to the bone to get this arranged within the narrow 4.5-year time frame that the UK gave itself to Get Brexit (which means Brexit) done…or die in a ditch!

And what has she got in return I ask you…?

I’ll tell you then.

Boney Fingers! That’s what.

And after doing this, all for the likes of you and your cousins at the Express and the S*n, because you said that that was what you wanted… the “Will of the British People” you said, you metaphorically slap her in the face by complaining that the same people will only be able to spend 90 days in that dreadful foreign place without returning HOME to where the heart is, to the wonderful sunlit uplands of Utopia (note there is no E before that U).

Infact, to this sceptered isle; this England.

It’s hardly Ms Patel’s fault if you and your dim readers weren’t aware of the 90-day rule for foreigners in the EU or indeed that, once a state leaves the EU it is no longer a member of the EU and has in fact LEFT the EU, and, therefore, third country rules apply to it.

Maybe you should have explained that to them… erm …in easy to understand English.

You should never assume that your readers understand stuff. Mostly, they don’t!

After all they are the same mouth breathers who believed that they held all the cards, could have their cake and eat it, that there would be a spare £350 million a week for the NHSs and that a deal could be done in an afternoon over a cup of tea.

Anyway, I feel that, as an experienced published myself, it is my duty to advise you that you will need to explain to folk that most of the garbage they were fed by Messrs Johnson, Gove, Cummings and their likes, was just a load of BS.

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The reality is that

– the only cards we held were jokers (Gove, eh!!!);

– the cake that were going to eat (and yet still have) was baked in 2016, went mouldy and was eaten by the mice in my cellars at Munguin Towers;

– the £350 million a week was a bit like one of these ads for anti-wrinkle cream where the model has been airbrushed;

– and that most continental types prefer coffee to tea.

So much for Global Britain.

It will indeed respect the law. I’m not sure that it is international law (legal experts?)

It’s EU rules though. You can spend up to three months in the EU without leaving. Nothing new there. Twas ever thus. You can come from Canada or Botswana of Japan and stay for 90 days without having to move on.

You can’t just move into another country from outside the union and live there, using their facilities and acting like nothing had changed.

It has, in accordance with the “will of the British people”.

Kind regards


40 thoughts on “LETTER FROM MUNGUIN”

      1. Actually, the Tories were complaining the other day that the SNP isn’t spending enough of the money that the dear English Chancellor gives it from the hard-working English tax[ayers (out of the goodness of his heart).

        So, maybe the SNP is reacting to the complaints of the official opposition by giving £500 to NHS staff instead of giving them a clap for a minute on a Thursday.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. UK nationals will need to buy Schengen visas, which cost 80€ per adult and 40€ for children (https://www.schengenvisainfo.com/schengen-visa-fee/)

    Schengen visas require proof of health insurance that covers all member states of the Schengen Area – the EHIC card is no longer valid.

    UK nationals will no longer be able to use the fast queues reserved for Schengen nationals or any of the self-service scanners.

    UK nationals will no longer be able to enter the EU or the EEA to perform any professional work, even temporarily.

    A Spanish holiday for a UK family will be about £100 more expensive per person and that’s before the cost of the tanking £ is factored in.

    The cost to businesses from missed flights and longer connection waits is just unfathomable but I would guess that companies with any service component are far more concerned about their staff now being unable to travel to the EU to uphold their support contracts.

    On a purely personal level, I have no idea if I need a Schengen visa if I leave Schengen for holidays or work and then try to return. How do I prove that I am a Schengen resident? All I know is that there is no point in looking for advice from the UK government.

    It is unbelievable that this is all about to happen.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. But, but, but… all these cards… , that cake, the money for the NHS, the globe…

      It’s just not fair.

      You’ll have to find out about your visa, Terry. Is there a UK consulate in Zurich?

      I’ve looked on that link you sent and I can’s see advice for UK nationals resident in EFTA.

      Is there someone in your company responsible for staffing (HR) who may have info?

      Before my mother was ill and I had caring duties which largely kept me in Scotland, I travelled a lot.

      I’m not looking forward any more to something I was looking forward to.

      The sooner Scotland is back in the EU the better I’ll like it.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The chances of travellling outside Schengen in 2021 seem remote right now but I do need to find out.

        What a massive mess. I can’t really put into words how angry I am. It’s just a massive waste of time and effort for nothing.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well… a good deal less than nothing, by the sounds of things.

          I think there is a lot of anger here too.

          Although many people are still shaking their heads and saying, nah, it will probably all be worked out… it won’t be that bad.

          But it looks like it probably will.

          Wait till the holidays come around and ordinary people realise that they have to get a visa and health insurance to get to Benidorm… adding £100+ per person to the cost of their holiday and then they also have to have an international driving licence if they want to drive there…


  2. Just been looking at the site, it seems that the visa is recognised in the Schengen area as Terry says, some countries can give free visa to a child.
    Multiple entry visas are available it seems for persons with frequent travel history.
    So if you have a holiday home in the EU it looks certain you will need a visa to return to it after your 90 days.
    The next thing of course is that you will probably not be able to have Ordinarily Non Resident status for UK tax if you mess up the visa application to return.
    All gris for the mill of Brexit lies and mis-information.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In a similar vein, I expect much wailing & gnashing of gums when the penny drops over duty-free Tris. Yes, you’ll be able to take advantage of duty-free when returning from the EU; but it’s bye-bye to the 6 months supply of booze & fags from lower duty countries.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. But, but, but… all the cards…. argh. No downside…ohhh…

      On the subject of duty free, I remember my mate, who is from Jersey, reminding me that he could get fags and booze duty free on flights back home to St Helier because it wasn’t in the union.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wondering if the emigrants (ex pats) with UK pensions will be removed from the cost of living rise?
    My brother in Australia got his at a fixed value and will remain at that rate for the rest of his days.
    Health insurance might just be a bit on the expensive side.
    Will our hospitals be getting more transiting patients?
    Think I’ll offer gove a spare WC that I’ve got, for Kent.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think UK doesn’t update the pension in countries out of the EU. I think it’s pretty much up to the London government to decide whether they do that or not. I expect it will depend on whether the pension emmigrants can still vote here or not.

      I suspect that many of the pensioners may want to come home for planned treatment, but they will still need insurance for emergencies, dental checks, etc.

      Well… c’est la vie.



  5. I said to my dearest this afternoon
    “What?” she replied.
    “You’re getting £500 off the government”.
    “Aye right” she says.
    “The Scottish government.”
    “Brilliant” says she.

    Of course, it’ll all go on the grandbairns.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I wonder what Dross will have to say to that?

    He’ll probably tell us that Mr Sunak is paying for it. I knew he was rich but goodness, he must have a bob or two if he’s handing out that much.

    My neighbour is a registrar, so maybe he’ll splash out on a new year’s garden party… Munguin would like that.

    Seriously, what a brilliant thing to do. Beats the sh*t out of Johnson and Nut Nuts clapping.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “I wonder what Dross will have to say to that?
      He’ll probably tell us that Mr Sunak is paying for it”

      Are you running the Tory twitter account because that’s exactly what they’ve said!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah well… No, it’s not be but I’m a bit worried that I can read their minds so clearly.

        I think that “Child of Alba” got it right.

        “If I were an English NHS worker, I’d be asking myself why – if UKG are so keen to claim credit for gifting Scots with £500 – they aren’t generously gifting me, too.”

        I think that seeing that Mr Sunak is paying for more or less everything, we should start saying grace to him before we eat.

        We thankest thou, Chancellor, for the food we eat, the clothes we wear and the shelter that thou providest for us unworthy jocks.

        In the name of Johnson, NutNuts and the Patel woman.



  7. Here in Spain the Spanish have been really good at explaining what is needed for us who actually live full time in Spain. While part of the eu we were given a little green card, known by “brits”as residencia (I can’t mind the official name, and I no longer have it). What with Brexit we have been advised to change over to what all non eu members are issued with – TARJETA DE IDENTIDAD DE EXTRANJERO – or Foreigners ID Card. We have done this and it enables us to stay here for longer than the 90 days out of 180 days. The one for the British has the wording “Issued in accordance with article 18.4 of the Withdrawal Agreement” . What this means I presume will all depend on a deal or no deal?
    It was easy to do, the office involved were lovely and helpful. However we live in an area of really very few British. I have read that in areas of high numbers of British it is not quite so easy.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We came here before pensionable age. (I am still waiting until I reach 66!). So took out Health Insurance. So we are covered. I can say the health so far has been great
        – i broke my foot a few years ago and had a problem with one of my eyes and all sorted quickly. However my husband now receives his British pension and is covered by that now and I can “piggyback” off that I believe. However, luckily, we haven’t tested the Spanish state health out yet. And who knows what will happen after the end of the year. If we have to stay private, we will.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Here in Bulgaria we have conflicting stories about what will and will not happen. As has been mentioned, UK gov website is equally unhelpful. What I do know is that we are in no danger of being ejected because of the 90-day rule. At least those of us who already have residency status. But… that has to change to non-EU, with all the attendant bureaucratic buggeration of form-filling, queuing at several different departments (in different buildings or even towns), and dealing with officials who take perverse delight in finding fault with the paper-work. The communist era lives on with many members of officialdom.

    Likewise, driving licences – if UK licence not already swapped for Bulgarian pre-Brexit. Otherwise, more bureaucracy. No longer a straight swap, but eye test and road test as if you were a teenager again and doing it all for the first time. We have until the end of 2021 to see to that (residency and driving licence) but most of us are starting now to avoid last-minute rush.

    EU health card benefits expire at the end of this year (or so we believe). Presumably personal health insurance will be mandatory, as was/is the
    case for EU citizens until residency is approved. Non-EU were always required to have their own cover. Pensions? Grey area. UK gov site says existing pensions will be unaffected, but nothing about qualifying for increases.

    Believe it or not, some expats here went out of their way to get a referendum vote so they could put their cross against ‘Leave’. Those whose only income is UK pension have already had a 25% cut because of the slump in the exchange rate. Roll on Scottish independence – and I can make a few pennies by offering to marry the highest bidder for a Scottish passport and renewed EU citizenship.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. We exchanged our British driving licences last year for Spanish. At the medical (blood pressure taken and eyesight test) we were asked the question “How much alcohol do you drink a week”? Erm, erm, hum. “Normal?” (said she in a very Spanish long drawn out way). Si, si, said we. Having NO idea what she considered normal 🤣

      Liked by 2 people

    2. It must be a really worrying time, John. Not because anyone thinks you will be thrown out, but because no one knows what is happening… including the British government.

      I remember seeing on Twitter, a load of Brits in Spain rejoicing at the victory and talking about how that would stop all these foreigners coming to England and scrounging.

      I’ve little doubt that they will be the same ones who will now be incandescent about their treatment.

      Although I think that most places are treating their immigrants better than the foul British Home Office is.

      I just hope you all have as little upheaval as possible, wherever you are, Spain, France, Switzerland, Bulgaria, Germany…

      Erm, have you mentioned your plan to the RS?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think it involved a hefty dose of British Exceptionalism.

        Those immigrants shouldn’t be allowed to come to OUR country, but we ex-pats are altogether a different thing.

        I remember seeing something on Twitter or Youtube filmed in one of those places in Spain where the “expats” settle… and they were complaining about foreigners going to the UK and not bothering to learn the language… So the film maker asked if they spoke Spanish. Needless to say not one did. in any more than an insulting “dos beers por favor” way.

        If you are the sort of person who can believe that that sort of thing is reasonable, it doesn’t stretch incredulity much to see that they would be taken in by the lies of people like Gove and Farage.

        Liked by 2 people

  9. Much as I’d like to see Tony Blair arrested, there is no substance to this story as a quick check will prove. The High Court ruled in 2017 that Blair should not face prosecution for his role in the Iraq war.

    (Full story here:) https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/jul/31/tony-blair-prosecution-over-iraq-war-blocked-by-judges

    The Obama story is also fake, as Reuters reports:

    An article circulating on social media claims that President Barack Obama was arrested on Nov. 28 for espionage. This is false. The fabricated article includes segments of a press release by the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) on Aug. 17, on the arrest of a former CIA officer.

    The article was published on Nov. 28 by a site describing itself as a Canadian conservative news site ( here ), called The Conservative Beaver.

    The first paragraph of the story says, “Barack Obama, a former President of the US, was arrested on Nov. 28, 2020, on a charge that he conspired with a business partner of his who also was a former CIA officer to communicate classified information up to the Top Secret level to intelligence officials of the People’s Republic of China (PRC).” “The Criminal Complaint containing the charge was unsealed this morning,” it adds.

    (Full story here:) https://www.reuters.com/article/uk-factcheck-obama-not-arrested/fact-check-false-article-claims-barack-obama-was-arrested-for-espionage-idUSKBN28A2TU

    Two out of three’s enough so I didn’t wast time checking that the Biden story belongs in the same category.

    Liked by 5 people

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