Thanks to John for the above… Et à Claudine pour ces caricatures françaises.
The police arrested me and said: “Papers”. I said “Scissors” and accelerated away. I think they must have wanted a rematch. They followed me for 45 minutes!
75 thoughts on “Nur zum Lachen; Just for a laugh; Juste pour rigoler”
I see that the Daily Distress has discovered that the SNP are trying to punish the Tories and undermine Brexit by having secret talks with the 4th Reich (the dictatorial EU in their minds) about Scotland’s accession as an independent state.
The right wing English press are just beginning to realise that Scotland is a European country with contacts going back long before the union with England.
They (English establishment) really are painting themselves into a corner with Trump as their only way out.
Just ask the Kurds how that worked out for them.
“The Auld Alliance was an alliance made in 1295 between the kingdoms of Scotland and France. The alliance was formed for the purpose of controlling England’s numerous invasions. ”
Yep, I reckon that they have done just that. They are almost certainly facing a no-deal situation on 31st December 2020. Eleven months to do a total trade deal in laughable. Trump is their only hope… and he’s hopeless.
Love your name for the Express!
I dare say that Boris could try to forbid the government from having talks with Europe. I wonder how that would go…
I wouldn’t put it past him. It would fly like a lead balloon in Scotland itself, of course, and the regime would probably refuse to fund the First Minister’s travel again, but Boris doesn’t have a clue about Scotland and cares less. The real question, I think, is what does Dominic Cummings think…
So we have a Head of Government selected by a few thousand Tory voters in SE England, mainly, and he’s not actually the one who’s governing, it’s Dominic Cummings. Who won’t “allow” us Scots to ask ourselves whether we want to stay in this putrefying United Kingdom or not.
Coo, you’d almost think there was a democratic deficit going on somewhere, wouldn’t you?
Merry Christmas, everybody, and let’s forget about all the rest of it until after ne’erday.
Uhhh… yeah, It never occurred to me, but there could be a democratic deficit going on…
And, Mr Cummings wants you to ignore it until…well, forever if possible. But while the press is selling us christmas and goodwill to all rich white men, and the stores are telling us to buy buy buy, and the tv is full of gushy drivel, and the queen is going on about what a good christian she has always been… Cummings horns will be pushing through the top of his wee head and he will be doing all manner of Voldermaltian evil.
She surely needs therapy for that handbag fetish. Seems that it would be inconvenient to carry a purse around the house with you. Especially in the kitchen.
Maybe it contains her birth certificate and a paper crown to prove who she is. Or it’s a kind of comfort blanket, with a family like that I would need one too.
she greeted Trump on his arrival at Buck House with handbag on her arm. Basically she took her handbag out to the front garden! I mean what’s in it? – she doesn’t even carry money! Fair enough though, carrying money with your face on it must be a bit strange
PP……I think I’ve read that she doesn’t even carry a passport on international travels. I also wonder if she has a driver’s license. I’ve seen her from time to time driving a car…..perhaps on the roads of royal estates like Balmoral, rather than on public roads.
In any event, carrying a purse around the rooms of the palace does seem exceedingly bizarre. Especially for a silly publicity photo of the kid stirring a bowl of whatever it was……with three generations of royals looking on with feigned admiration and/or amusement. Such silly publicity photos are more appropriate for politicians than for royalty I would think.
Reminds me of one such publicity stunt from almost 50 years ago that was bizarre even by American presidential standards. Richard Nixon had just been deposed and the new guy……Nixon’s hand-picked successor Gerald Ford…….was trying to convey the idea that unlike the dark and brooding Nixon, Gerry was just a simple everyday guy. In fact, Americans were told that he sometimes made his own breakfast. So the White House press corps went to the kitchen to watch him toast a bagel. Then they adjourned to the dining room to watch him eat his self-made breakfast. (I am NOT making this up!) Thought of it the minute I saw the Cambridge kid stirring the bowl.
(Apparently no sound to this Associated Press footage.)
She has no need of a handbag. I suppose, if they doubt she’s who she says she is, someone in her entourage could always show them the new 50p piece.
Yes, it was another ill-judged photo opportunity as they try (and fail) to make themselves look normal after this year’s disasters with Harry and Airmiles.
In fairness to her, she can drive and does so on the road. She trained as a vehicle repairer during the war (allegedly).
Someone said that her can doesn’t have registration plates but I’m dubious about that.
Ah there you go. A perfect man for the job was old Gerald. He could toast a bagel. Surely a perfect qualification for running a country.
Yes Tris, Gerald Ford could toast a bagel better than he could walk down airplane steps.
Ford had been president only about a year when Saturday Night Live first went on the air in 1975. Chevy Chase made a career on SNL making fun of Ford’s clumsiness and ineptitude. Note that SNL was not yet using the actual presidential seal and seemed hesitant in its early White House parodies. But it picked up steam as time went by and “Live From New York it’s Saturday Night” was already the now famous conclusion of the SNL Cold Open, 44 years ago.
The following year, SNL did a parody of one of the 1976 presidential debates. Gerald Ford had defeated Ronald Reagan for the GOP nomination at the Republican Convention that summer in Kansas City……the last contested presidential nominating convention in American history. Ford had made a fool of himself in the previous debate by declaring that Eastern Europe was no longer under Soviet domination, and Jimmy Carter had said in a Playboy interview that in his heart he had lusted after women. (Dan Aykroyd did a great Jimmy Carter.)
Tris. I can confirm that the royal vehicles do not have registrations. Many years ago, I spent an evening at the home of a retired royal chauffeur (we were shown all the Xmas cards from her maj.) I remember him telling the story of when he was pulled over by the police for the lack of a plate and their confusion when he explained he was from the palace.
Thanks, Dave. I suppose that’s so if they get clocked doing 90 in a 70 limit on a speed camera… everyone shakes their heads and wonders who it could have been…
Mean it could be anyone in a Bentley or a Range Rover with no number plates… eh?
Re ‘money with your face on it’ – I remember a ‘fly-on-the-wall’ documentary which was filmed in the box at ‘Royal’ Ascot. All of those in attendance had chipped in a tenner to a ‘sweep’ (as we do at a ‘works outing’.). Amazingly (not) Her Majesty won the sweep and she was handed a pile of tenners. She looked puzzled and then asked, “What are these?”.
I’d definitely want my can of Mace or pepper spray with me if I had to meet Trump, and I’m not even female. I expect I’d want hand sanitiser as well if I had to come into contact with the man.
LOL. I bet she kind of likes Nicola, even if she doesn’t want to lose Scotland… I bet Nicola is the closet to a human being she’s had as a first minister. Someone who treats her as what she REALLY is…a senior colleague.
I mean she must get fed up look at the top of men’s heads and looking down the bosoms of women…
Theresa May did a very awkward curtsy. I read that Margaret Thatcher did one that was stylistically elegant, but extremely pretentious and overdone, even by royal standards. Have also read that Thatcher overdid personal references to the Queen. Never “the Queen,” but usually “Her Majesty the Queen.”
Yes, I suppose it would be considered showy to require that oneself be addressed every time as “Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.”
Prior to becoming Queen, she was for a while the Duchess of Endinburgh, and was at birth “Her Royal Highness Princess Elizabeth of York.”
Then there’s the fact that “the reigning sovereign has held the specific title of Duke of Lancaster (never the Duchess of Lancaster) since 1399.”
She’s got the Trident firing codes in the handbag. That’s why it’s always chained to her wrist. Can’t trust that to politicians, even if Swansong will never get the chance to push the button.
John……I like that explanation. Makes a lot of sense…..LOL.
Bill Clinton apparently lost the codes for a few months. Maybe he thought he actually had them, but the military man whose job it was to check was put off by White House staff. The Pentagon command didn’t know about the missing “biscuit” until the codes were changed later, on the usual four-month rotation. The story didn’t come out until ten years later when his Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Hugh Shelton, wrote his autobiography.
Tris……The Atlantic published an article at the time of the Shelton autobiography (which divulged Clinton’s loss of the codes,) about what a really big deal it was.
Well, yes. Monica was probably more interesting that Jo Swinson and her desire to press the button… you know, when she was going to be the next prime minister.
The number code gets changed ever few months anyway. And apparently there’s a whole LIST of numbers printed on the card, and only the president knows how far down on the list the REAL code is. That information is supposedly never written down; just whispered from one president to the next. So I doubt that the idiot Trump could figure out how to fire the nukes if he wanted to.
There’s a persistent rumor (never actually denied) that Jimmy Carter once sent his code card to the dry cleaners in a suit pocket. 😉
The one with the guy stuffing the cat made me think “Don’t forget your appointment at Specsavers” – now where would I, a non-TV-watcher (or TV-non-watcher) have come across one of those?
Thank you, Tris (and BJSAlba, John and Claudine). I am Cheered Up. The German one with Sieg Heil to Boris the Clown was wickedly on the money, I think.
No, Tris, and thrice no! We want him here as often as possible, as every time he shows his mop-headed gammon face up here, it swells the ranks of us independentistas! Let him be as ignorant, arrogant, uncaring, patronising and condescending as is his wont, let him be all bluff and bluster and full of that ineffable Old Etonian “charm” and hot air!
Actually, I hope someone lobs a milkshake at him so I can go “tsk tsk tsk naughty naughty” insincerely to myself.
Heh heh… there are lots of Scots around still who know enough Latin to fire back at him with malice aforethought. Probably wouldn’t stop him, of course, as he doesn’t pay any attention to anything said by any of us Jockanese.
I interact with elderly ladies all the time through various activities, I really respect them and what they have achieved in their lives, invariably starting with nothing.
But……
No one is actually attacking Liz, just the idiotic institution she represents and the silly stunts they pull to make it look like they are just like the rest of us.
Niko……From a land of radicals and revolutionaries, I would say that Her Majesty can be the hereditary monarch and head of State, who lives in regal splendor in numerous palaces, and for whom the military forces and the law itself is declared to be your OWN, OR you can play the part of a pitiful helpless old lady; but you can’t reasonably be BOTH.
I see that the Daily Distress has discovered that the SNP are trying to punish the Tories and undermine Brexit by having secret talks with the 4th Reich (the dictatorial EU in their minds) about Scotland’s accession as an independent state.
The right wing English press are just beginning to realise that Scotland is a European country with contacts going back long before the union with England.
They (English establishment) really are painting themselves into a corner with Trump as their only way out.
Just ask the Kurds how that worked out for them.
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“The Auld Alliance was an alliance made in 1295 between the kingdoms of Scotland and France. The alliance was formed for the purpose of controlling England’s numerous invasions. ”
Some countries never change…
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Plus ça change; plus c’est la même chose!
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Yep, I reckon that they have done just that. They are almost certainly facing a no-deal situation on 31st December 2020. Eleven months to do a total trade deal in laughable. Trump is their only hope… and he’s hopeless.
Love your name for the Express!
I dare say that Boris could try to forbid the government from having talks with Europe. I wonder how that would go…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wouldn’t put it past him. It would fly like a lead balloon in Scotland itself, of course, and the regime would probably refuse to fund the First Minister’s travel again, but Boris doesn’t have a clue about Scotland and cares less. The real question, I think, is what does Dominic Cummings think…
So we have a Head of Government selected by a few thousand Tory voters in SE England, mainly, and he’s not actually the one who’s governing, it’s Dominic Cummings. Who won’t “allow” us Scots to ask ourselves whether we want to stay in this putrefying United Kingdom or not.
Coo, you’d almost think there was a democratic deficit going on somewhere, wouldn’t you?
Merry Christmas, everybody, and let’s forget about all the rest of it until after ne’erday.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Uhhh… yeah, It never occurred to me, but there could be a democratic deficit going on…
And, Mr Cummings wants you to ignore it until…well, forever if possible. But while the press is selling us christmas and goodwill to all rich white men, and the stores are telling us to buy buy buy, and the tv is full of gushy drivel, and the queen is going on about what a good christian she has always been… Cummings horns will be pushing through the top of his wee head and he will be doing all manner of Voldermaltian evil.
Ha ha…
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She surely needs therapy for that handbag fetish. Seems that it would be inconvenient to carry a purse around the house with you. Especially in the kitchen.
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Maybe it contains her birth certificate and a paper crown to prove who she is. Or it’s a kind of comfort blanket, with a family like that I would need one too.
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And as for carrying it in the kitchen, she probably doesn’t do much of the palace cooking herself anyway. 😉
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It’s a wonder the poor old thing hasn’t ended up in a loonie bin.
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she greeted Trump on his arrival at Buck House with handbag on her arm. Basically she took her handbag out to the front garden! I mean what’s in it? – she doesn’t even carry money! Fair enough though, carrying money with your face on it must be a bit strange
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PP……I think I’ve read that she doesn’t even carry a passport on international travels. I also wonder if she has a driver’s license. I’ve seen her from time to time driving a car…..perhaps on the roads of royal estates like Balmoral, rather than on public roads.
In any event, carrying a purse around the rooms of the palace does seem exceedingly bizarre. Especially for a silly publicity photo of the kid stirring a bowl of whatever it was……with three generations of royals looking on with feigned admiration and/or amusement. Such silly publicity photos are more appropriate for politicians than for royalty I would think.
Reminds me of one such publicity stunt from almost 50 years ago that was bizarre even by American presidential standards. Richard Nixon had just been deposed and the new guy……Nixon’s hand-picked successor Gerald Ford…….was trying to convey the idea that unlike the dark and brooding Nixon, Gerry was just a simple everyday guy. In fact, Americans were told that he sometimes made his own breakfast. So the White House press corps went to the kitchen to watch him toast a bagel. Then they adjourned to the dining room to watch him eat his self-made breakfast. (I am NOT making this up!) Thought of it the minute I saw the Cambridge kid stirring the bowl.
(Apparently no sound to this Associated Press footage.)
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She has no need of a handbag. I suppose, if they doubt she’s who she says she is, someone in her entourage could always show them the new 50p piece.
Yes, it was another ill-judged photo opportunity as they try (and fail) to make themselves look normal after this year’s disasters with Harry and Airmiles.
In fairness to her, she can drive and does so on the road. She trained as a vehicle repairer during the war (allegedly).
Someone said that her can doesn’t have registration plates but I’m dubious about that.
Ah there you go. A perfect man for the job was old Gerald. He could toast a bagel. Surely a perfect qualification for running a country.
Like this:
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes Tris, Gerald Ford could toast a bagel better than he could walk down airplane steps.
Ford had been president only about a year when Saturday Night Live first went on the air in 1975. Chevy Chase made a career on SNL making fun of Ford’s clumsiness and ineptitude. Note that SNL was not yet using the actual presidential seal and seemed hesitant in its early White House parodies. But it picked up steam as time went by and “Live From New York it’s Saturday Night” was already the now famous conclusion of the SNL Cold Open, 44 years ago.
The following year, SNL did a parody of one of the 1976 presidential debates. Gerald Ford had defeated Ronald Reagan for the GOP nomination at the Republican Convention that summer in Kansas City……the last contested presidential nominating convention in American history. Ford had made a fool of himself in the previous debate by declaring that Eastern Europe was no longer under Soviet domination, and Jimmy Carter had said in a Playboy interview that in his heart he had lusted after women. (Dan Aykroyd did a great Jimmy Carter.)
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Good ones, Danny.
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Tris. I can confirm that the royal vehicles do not have registrations. Many years ago, I spent an evening at the home of a retired royal chauffeur (we were shown all the Xmas cards from her maj.) I remember him telling the story of when he was pulled over by the police for the lack of a plate and their confusion when he explained he was from the palace.
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Thanks, Dave. I suppose that’s so if they get clocked doing 90 in a 70 limit on a speed camera… everyone shakes their heads and wonders who it could have been…
Mean it could be anyone in a Bentley or a Range Rover with no number plates… eh?
🙂
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Re ‘money with your face on it’ – I remember a ‘fly-on-the-wall’ documentary which was filmed in the box at ‘Royal’ Ascot. All of those in attendance had chipped in a tenner to a ‘sweep’ (as we do at a ‘works outing’.). Amazingly (not) Her Majesty won the sweep and she was handed a pile of tenners. She looked puzzled and then asked, “What are these?”.
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A lot of OAPs would be asking the same thing…
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She is never without it. Maybe it’s got her Virgin Islands’ bank account numbers?
You’d want your handbag if you were meeting Trump though. You never know what he’s going to try on with you.
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I’d definitely want my can of Mace or pepper spray with me if I had to meet Trump, and I’m not even female. I expect I’d want hand sanitiser as well if I had to come into contact with the man.
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and a nearby shower of dettol!!!
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I wonder if she’s ever actually been in a kitchen in any of her houses…
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She probably can’t even toast a bagel. 😉
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LOL. I seriously doubt it, Danny.
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I believe it’s her favourite handbag – the one with the SNP logo.
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LOL. I bet she kind of likes Nicola, even if she doesn’t want to lose Scotland… I bet Nicola is the closet to a human being she’s had as a first minister. Someone who treats her as what she REALLY is…a senior colleague.
I mean she must get fed up look at the top of men’s heads and looking down the bosoms of women…
https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/106/590x/1001266_1.jpg?r=1533821725427
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Theresa May did a very awkward curtsy. I read that Margaret Thatcher did one that was stylistically elegant, but extremely pretentious and overdone, even by royal standards. Have also read that Thatcher overdid personal references to the Queen. Never “the Queen,” but usually “Her Majesty the Queen.”
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Yes, Thatcher was known for her overblown deference.
“Her Majesty the Queen” is overblown. Eiter is sufficient, but there is no need for a paragraph to describe one woman.
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Yes, I suppose it would be considered showy to require that oneself be addressed every time as “Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.”
Prior to becoming Queen, she was for a while the Duchess of Endinburgh, and was at birth “Her Royal Highness Princess Elizabeth of York.”
Then there’s the fact that “the reigning sovereign has held the specific title of Duke of Lancaster (never the Duchess of Lancaster) since 1399.”
So still the Duke of Lancaster apparently.
Very complicated! 😉
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Yes. It is a bit complex.
Of course in Scotland she isn’t defender of the faith, neither is she there by the grace of god.
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OMG…..even more complicated! 😉 I knew that there was a controversy over the regnal number II in Scotland.
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Nah, it’s pretty much a complete mess, every bit of it.
I hear that she’s going to say that it was a “bumpy year” for them in her address to the Commonwealth.
Bumpy?
Jeez.
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An annus quasi horribilis, even.
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She’s got the Trident firing codes in the handbag. That’s why it’s always chained to her wrist. Can’t trust that to politicians, even if Swansong will never get the chance to push the button.
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John……I like that explanation. Makes a lot of sense…..LOL.
Bill Clinton apparently lost the codes for a few months. Maybe he thought he actually had them, but the military man whose job it was to check was put off by White House staff. The Pentagon command didn’t know about the missing “biscuit” until the codes were changed later, on the usual four-month rotation. The story didn’t come out until ten years later when his Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Hugh Shelton, wrote his autobiography.
https://www.businessinsider.com/bill-clinton-lost-president-nuclear-codes-and-nobody-found-out-2018-1
Another telling of the story at the time put the blame on an unnamed “aide” instead of Bill Clinton himself.
https://theweek.com/articles/489930/did-bill-clinton-lose-americas-nuclear-launch-codes
Maybe carrying them around in a purse isn’t a bad idea after all. 😉
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Probably better than in your back pocket, where any accomplished pickpocket could nick’em.
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Well, Danny, she’s not likely to leave it on the bus, is she?
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Seems highly unlikely. 😉
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Tris……The Atlantic published an article at the time of the Shelton autobiography (which divulged Clinton’s loss of the codes,) about what a really big deal it was.
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2010/10/why-clintons-losing-the-nuclear-biscuit-was-really-really-bad/65009/
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What, you have to ask yourself, if Jo Swinson had been around at the time and wanted to press her own version of the biscuit but needed the codes?
Did Clinton never think of these possibilities?
🙂
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Clinton had more important things on his mind. Such as White House interns. 😉
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Well, yes. Monica was probably more interesting that Jo Swinson and her desire to press the button… you know, when she was going to be the next prime minister.
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The number code gets changed ever few months anyway. And apparently there’s a whole LIST of numbers printed on the card, and only the president knows how far down on the list the REAL code is. That information is supposedly never written down; just whispered from one president to the next. So I doubt that the idiot Trump could figure out how to fire the nukes if he wanted to.
There’s a persistent rumor (never actually denied) that Jimmy Carter once sent his code card to the dry cleaners in a suit pocket. 😉
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LOL. We’re safe
Trump: Is it 71 23?
Aide: No, Mr President Sir
Trump: 96 12?
Aide: No, Sir.
Trump: 1234?
Aide: That’s it, Sir, we kept it nice and simple for you.
Trump: Good so 0123, yeah?
Aide: Grrrrrrrr!
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Hahahaha…..LOVE IT!
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LOL LOL LOL, John!
Swansong… I love it. So appropriate!
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The one with the guy stuffing the cat made me think “Don’t forget your appointment at Specsavers” – now where would I, a non-TV-watcher (or TV-non-watcher) have come across one of those?
Thank you, Tris (and BJSAlba, John and Claudine). I am Cheered Up. The German one with Sieg Heil to Boris the Clown was wickedly on the money, I think.
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They really have to stop having Boris up there though. I mean we all know he’s just a puppet for Cummings!
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No, Tris, and thrice no! We want him here as often as possible, as every time he shows his mop-headed gammon face up here, it swells the ranks of us independentistas! Let him be as ignorant, arrogant, uncaring, patronising and condescending as is his wont, let him be all bluff and bluster and full of that ineffable Old Etonian “charm” and hot air!
Actually, I hope someone lobs a milkshake at him so I can go “tsk tsk tsk naughty naughty” insincerely to myself.
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Maybe he could do some poetry in ancient greek or latin… That would impress us mightily!
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Heh heh… there are lots of Scots around still who know enough Latin to fire back at him with malice aforethought. Probably wouldn’t stop him, of course, as he doesn’t pay any attention to anything said by any of us Jockanese.
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or really anyone, except Dom Cummings
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Attacking a very elderly lady
Is never a good look regardless
Of your politics
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I interact with elderly ladies all the time through various activities, I really respect them and what they have achieved in their lives, invariably starting with nothing.
But……
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No one is actually attacking Liz, just the idiotic institution she represents and the silly stunts they pull to make it look like they are just like the rest of us.
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But she’s got her handbag. How could anyone attack her? She’s just hot them over the head with it
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Niko……From a land of radicals and revolutionaries, I would say that Her Majesty can be the hereditary monarch and head of State, who lives in regal splendor in numerous palaces, and for whom the military forces and the law itself is declared to be your OWN, OR you can play the part of a pitiful helpless old lady; but you can’t reasonably be BOTH.
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… or maybe you can, when you’re Liz! 😦
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Re the first photo. Philip ate what was made and ended up in hospital.
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LOL, Marcia.
Thank heavens I’m not invited to Windsor Castle for Christmas.
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If you do you will be on your own. They are all up in Norfolk. Philip might drive you to Sandringham.
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Oh… erm, is there a bus that goes that way?
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All the best for Christmas and New Year and thanks for the enjoyment over the year.
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Ditto, sir, ditto!
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🙂
And thanks for your contributions, Alasdair.
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a Merry Christmas from the National – and me – a mash up from Holyrood.
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LOL LOL…
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Some good smiles and giggles from those … but that last-but-one one … oh dear! Thank goodness Puss is sound asleep and didn’t see it …
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Ah … la cuisine française!!!!
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…laquelle n’inclut pas la cochonnerie, pour autant que je sache. La charcuterie chevaline, bien sûr, mais la cochonne, non.
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MDR
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C’est réservé aux Bullingdon Boys
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How crass, how gross, how repellent they were and are. How mortified the pig must have been to be in company so far beneath its dignity.
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Yep, and as I understand it, the pig was dead… and still felt shamed to be with them.
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