RANDOM THOUGHTS

Where’s the tent?

Picture by JASON HEDGES Pictures show Aberlour primary school shot this evening in Aberlour, Moray.

“An advanced payment of £117,430 was made without the knowledge of the chief financial officer and auditors are unable to find a proper document trail.

“And to think that Moray not only has a Tory-run Council but also a Tory MP called Douglas Ross – who has been doing his level best in Holyrood to foment trouble for the SNP over such issues.

“Pot calling the kettle black?”

(from Ken Jackson on Facebook)

More details here

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Classy Lot

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Well, Duh!

First of all, the First Ministers of all the countries in the UK attended the coronation including the Sinn Fein leader of the North of Ireland, the first minister elect, a republican, Mark Drakeford, I think a republican from Wales, and Humza Yousaf, a republican from Scotland.

They did so because it was their duty to be there to represent their respective countries. Honours and privileges don’t come into it. They had no real choice.

Why was he not singing a christian hymn? Well, maybe because he didn’t know the words or the tune? I suspect that royalty from the Middle East and presidents from the more enlightened countries weren’t singing Christian hymns for the same reason.

Indeed, although I don’t normally attend any religious ceremonies, a few years ago an elderly neighbour died. She was a delightful old woman, who reminded me a bit of my grandmother. So I made an exception and went to the funeral service, which was conducted by the Lord Lyon King of Arms.

Despite my affection and respect for Agnes, I was unable to sing any of the hymns because I knew neither tunes nor the words.

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True, that

“This is what you get when you found a political system on the family values of Henry VIII.” – Christopher Hitchens

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And Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia, Stephen, we know

It make you wonder if he has ever visited Scotland?

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There’s hope. 30p Lee says that if we don’t like the king we should leave the UK

So, Lee, Scotland doesn’t like the king. Can we leave?

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This is amusing… link at the bottom.

Can I just say huge congratulations to Charles on getting his first job at the age of 74?

I’m pretty sure he will read this because let’s be honest, everyone will!

After a lifetime waiting for his mother to leave him a vacancy, King Charles Spaniel has finally found his purpose in life. This is why society shouldn’t write off the long-term unemployed. Even useless layabouts can surprise us, given half the chance. Perhaps we should give more Universal Credit claimants 30 palaces, 1,100 servants and a right of accession to see what they can make of their lives.

But I think it’s fair to say, no one on our island of 67 million weirdos could sit on a chair while an old man put a hat on their head better than Charles did.

This shows we have the perfect method of selecting our head of state. The coronation was brilliant, wasn’t it? We could not have found anything better to spend a quarter of a billion pounds on during a cost of living crisis.

F*** the hungry school kids, clear the homeless from the streets and don’t let them eat cake! I’m not gonna lie, I never watched the coronation because I wasn’t doing anything interesting and still didn’t want to, but it’s my job to provide commentary so I’m going to wing it, even though I have no understanding of the subject matter. Just pretend I’m a Gbeebies presenter.

From what I’ve gathered, Prince Andrew got booed on his way to the party, but he courageously did not sweat after spraying himself from head to toe with Sure Men Non-Stop Protection, and his efforts were still not as impressive as those of Charles.

Never in the history of fancy dress parties has a man gone harder on his outfit. Charles spent a fortune of your money and looted several continents across several centuries to find items with the best possible stats, including staffs enchanted by stolen gems and a cloak with maximum tax resistance.

The man of the people who shrieked when he saw clingfilm because he didn’t know what it was, and who gets his servants to iron his shoelaces and apply his toothpaste is truly a hero the people can get behind.

I can’t believe the archbishop cancelled the *pledge of allegiance because I was totally looking forward to pretending I’d done it.

I wasn’t the only one who was feeling sad today either. Prince Edward was upset he didn’t get to wear his medals after completing four heroic months of basic training in the army.

Prince William spent the day saying he couldn’t wait for it to be his turn, which is rather grim, and Prince Louis captured the mood of the nation by repeatedly yawning.

The Tories were out in force today like the true patriots they are. Minister for sewage, Thérèse Coffey made an unwanted appearance like a swamp monster wrapped in a union jack scarf.

Minister for Infosys, Rishi Sunak, came dressed like he was attending a funeral, which might have been wishful thinking. And Minister for Middle Earth, Penny Mordor, carried a sword, but disappointed everyone by not going through with a traditional royal beheading.

Super-creepy monks chanted as the Archbishop of Toryism read from a card because he hadn’t learned his lines and Charles couldn’t afford a teleprompter after blowing the entire national budget.

To be be fair though, this is the middle ages and teleprompters haven’t been invented yet.

Let’s be honest, if this was a sensible 21st century country, none of this would be happening, but we are blissfully stuck in the past with all the feudalism and rampant poverty that goes with it. Across the nation, street parties were ruined by rain and the national anthem was booed at Anfield, but it was lovely to see the organisers of Not My King getting arrested because on a day like today, it’s important to send out the message we definitely do not live in a democracy.

The Metropolitan Police were proudly live-tweeting their illegal arrests to terrorise the public into pretending to have a good time. They even boasted of arresting volunteers from a charity they work with for handing out rape alarms last night. They claimed on social media they had “intelligence” suggesting rape alarms were going to be set off at the coronation. And if anything was going to make Prince Andrew sweat, it was the sound of rape alarms.

Yes, Wayne Couzens’ colleagues arrested people for carrying rape alarms but not the rapist, which is their proudest moment since they slammed women onto the ground at a candle-lit vigil.

Personally, I love how whenever police are given Judge Dredd powers, they massively abuse them. It’s almost like they spend their careers waiting for the shackles to come off so they can take their fascist form and crush all expression of free thought. Rape alarms, blank pieces of card, and chants of “Not My King” are illegal now, even though no law exists to ban them because only democracies have legal systems that make sense and we definitely don’t want a democracy because then we couldn’t spend £250 million putting a hat on a man’s head x

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TORIES DON’T KNOW WHAT WAS IN THEIR MANIFESTO

Right, so it was in the SNP manifesto to try to preserve some fish in the seas around Scotland. Otherwise in a few years there won’t be any and the fishermen won’t have anything to fish.

But you knew all this because… it was in your manifesto too.

Now, we realise that you maybe don’t feel the need to respect the manifesto on which your members were elected (ish)

So, help me out here. Is it GOOD when you do it, as this plan for England shows you intending to do, but it is BAD when the SNP/Green Government does it? Or is it just in your English manifesto but you have no intention of doing it?

Or is it that you think it’s a good idea but you don’t want the Scottish government to do it, so that way you can blame them when the seas become too polluted for fish to live in?

Munguin would love for a Tory to explain that to him.

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15 thoughts on “RANDOM THOUGHTS”

  1. Remember the Moray council money is public money and the tories clearly see that as fair game. So you can expect Zero coverage on BBC. Go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Here’s another saga in what is now clearly somewhere that SHOULD be referred to as Absurdistan and NOT instead that fake country known as Great Britain…OR as the UK if you include NI….

    Apparently some of the MORE absurd citizens of Abursidistan are now stating Penny Mordor aka Penny Mordaunt is PM material because she held a sword aloft for a duration in the coronation ceremony on Saturday……

    What a LOW LOW bar some Tory supporting Absurdistan citizens have in concluding that this act is irrefutable proof that in doing THIS you then, as a politician , are displaying that YOU as an individual then possess the necessary requirements and qualities to be both a leader of a major political party and too the next PM of a fake country ……. though in fairness they are referring to a fake country that is seen by the World as one that is now essentially a rogue state lead by rogues …..aka Absurdstan lead by Tories……that includes one Penny Mordor….who herself is currently ONE of the Tory rogues in a ministerial position within Absurdistan ……..

    Who needs ACTUAL good policies, values etc when YOU are a politician in Absurdistan….apparently all you need to do, as a politician, is to participate in a ceremony by enacting an absurd ritual to celebrate one who is THE UBER elite within your country and who refers to citizens of that country as his SUBJECTS and then…..Hey Presto that’s YOUR future political career on an upward trajectory……and too your chances of a peerage I’m sure……..meanwhile some of these SAME absurd citizens who are promoting the opinion that Mordor is PM material are the SAME citizens currently inflicted by the many damaging policies via HER political party that diminish both the quality of their lives and too that result in their overall poor standard of living and that of their families as citizens aka subjects within the rogue state that SHOULD be referred to as Absurdistan……aka the Rogue Tory state.

    I’d rather be known as a SEPRATIST than a Royalist or a TORY……or a citizen/subject who hails from Absurdistan……and Labour, via Starmer, proving they are desperate to get in on some of THIS action as the supposed potential new political rulers in Absurdistan…..as in them being touted as the potential next NEW Absurdistan government who, in their policies and words (slogans) , are seen as being the EXACT same as the OLD government….#RedTories…..

    #NotMyKing……..#PennyMordorNotMyFuturePM …..#IndependenceCannotComeSoonEnough

    Have a nice day everyone

    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah bless her, Vice admiral Mordant is a woman of many talents.

      He role in the cabinet is so lowly that, her only task is to wear a ridiculous frock and hat and hold a sword.

      What the swaord was for, I have no idea, but she held it.

      Some suggested that it had a kebab on it lest his snarliness got peckish… him being half Greek…during the long drawn out ceremony.

      What did she look like?

      Like

  3. Ah, so now I know why I was not able to buy coronation bunting, etc on my way to the AUOB march on Saturday. There was indeed nothing in the shops with red, white and blue on it, because I looked.
    But Stephen Kerr has explained it all – I was too late to stock up because it had all been sold out!
    Aye, right.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aye. I think Stephen bought it all himself, as he wasn’t invited to the whole shebang.

      I hope he had a lovely day, him and his bunting.

      I’m sure Stephen Kerr is or has the answer to many of life’s mysteries.

      Like

  4. Reporting today,
    Some no body called , miles briggs, says the SNP have let down Ukrainian refugees on their settlement in Scotland.
    SNP BAD.
    Snp say, the position of Ukrainian refugees is managed by Westminster, as it’s a retained power.

    Meantime there’s no reporting of the weekend’s rallies in Scotland, old news it seems.
    BUTT, chas theturd thanks the nation on behalf of him and his ex mistress for the late wedding pictures, pity they couldn’t afford for him to get a decent haircut and having to make use of his night attire.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Briggs?

      Yes I seem to remember him. He’s the whipping boy who didn’t win a seat but did get a seat on the list.

      I remember he was accused of sexual misconduct at one point and instead of the police investigating it, it was investigated by the Scottish Branch of the Tories who, not unsurprisingly, found him to be totally innocent.

      You can’t really expect the BBC Haggis to report on a march in mere Glasgow when there was a king think going on in London.

      Next you’ll be wanting them to report Mrs McTavish’s cat getting stuck up a tree in Achtermuchtie.

      Like

  5. It’s about the best use of his time.

    The rich cynic visits his dad’s old chemist shop.
    Flew there in a helicopter.
    Got his blood pressure checked.
    Told about the new phone queueing system that tells you where you are on the queue to get told you can’t get an appointment for a month.
    Then you can get given drugs by the chemist,they’ll write out a prescription.
    Then home by helicopter.
    The running costs of that model of helicopter is £5000 an hour plus crew.
    It’s all about the best use of his time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jeez. You couldn’t make this up.

      Is he saying that now you can get diagnosed and prescribed by Boots?

      Privatisation of the health service?

      Isn’t the chairman of Boots a donor to the party?

      Like

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