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15. Have you drunk any alcohol today? :: Listen… I don’t have time to do a survey.
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In normal countries, the head of state swears allegiance to the people.
This in response to the appeal by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Deputy Head of the Church of England, sucking up to his boss, the hereditary head of the English church, the snarly one, by asking us all to pledge allegiance to the king… in, I suppose, the same way as Charlie boy pledged allegiance to Diana, just hours before, he was on the phone to his bit on the side, talking sex.
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Thanks to AndiMac and Brenda.
Bonus:
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Overpriced?
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MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
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LOL
Yeah Munguin and I are definitely gonna say that.
I prefer the Celtic version. Language warning.
https://packaged-media.redd.it/gpjn873yl1xa1/pb/m2-res_720p.mp4?m=DASHPlaylist.mpd&v=1&e=1682894745&s=74e1ca0adf466a51d029f3a593d875de854587f2#t=0
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I am sure my brother and his wife had to swear allegiance to the queen to get their Aussie citizenship, they resisted for years though.
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Surely they’ve dropped that now.
They have minister for a republic.
I wonder if the Brits do that?
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It was a while ago, probably fifteen or so years. I wonder if that’s the same in Canada…
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One Word,
Floccinaucinihilipilification
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Dear old Jacob. It’s a made up word too…
A bit like him!
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Nice group of funnies! I especially like Bill O’Reilly and Tucker after being dumped by FOX.
American presidents generally attend the White House Correspondents Dinner in Washington to make jokes about themselves and selected media targets in the audience.
Joe Biden is no Obama, but old Joe did OK last night.
Background info:
1) James Madison is called the Father of the Constitution for drafting and promoting the American constitution in 1789.
2) Don Lemon got fired from CNN for suggesting that Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley is past her prime.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/feb/18/dom-lemon-nikki-haley-sexist-fox-news
3) Florida governor (and presidential hopeful) Ron DeSantis is in a feud with the the Disney corporation (one of Florida’s largest employers) about political wokeness.
4) FOX News recently lost $787 Million to Dominion Voting Systems in a defamation lawsuit settlement.
5) Joe Biden favors dark, aviator-style sunglasses.
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Yes, Danny.
I reckon he did OK there.
As you say, he’s no Obama, but then, I always thought that Obama missed his vocation and should have done stand-up…
I loved the Free Meal joke!!
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LOL!
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No. 14, in my case, is so true. After a heart attack I wasn’t going out very much, and then my wife, without telling me, got me a Cavalier King Charles puppy. While it might be an exaggeration to say the dog saved my life, it certainly gave me a whole new outlook on life. R.I.P Skye.
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Magic things, dogs. And not just because they make people walk when otherwise they might be sitting watching tv, but also because of the unconditional love they give you.
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PS……American coin trivia:
Apart from the modern five cent coin, which is minted in a nickel alloy and is therefore informally called a “nickel”, the ten cent coin, called a dime, is the only modern American coin which has a name, apart from its denomination in cents or fractions of a dollar.”Dime” comes from “Disme.”
Wiki:
The word dime comes from the Old French disme (Modern French dîme), meaning “tithe” or “tenth part”, from the Latin decima.
The Coinage Act of 1792 established the dime (spelled “disme” in the 1792 legislation.)
The early American five cent coin was a tiny coin minted in silver, and was called a “half dime.” The “nickel” five cent coin was first minted in 1866.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dime_(United_States_coin)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shield_nickel
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I always get them mixed up, Danny.
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So a Governor of the Bank of England (really the Bank of UK) thinks we should all get used to being poorer and at the same time we are being urged to pledge allegiance to an unelected multi-millionaire who in less than a week will be transported by a gold coach to have a crown worth millions plonked on his head in a ceremony costing at least £150 million. You’re having a laugh right?
Remind me again why I support an independent Scottish republic?
Ps loved the cat and baby.
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Yep. You have summed it up correctly.
Of course one of the reasons that we have to turn down the heating and eat less is that otherwise, how would they be able to afford all this nonsense at Buckingham Palace.
On top of the £150 million there is the cost of security which is never disclosed, but with all the VIPs and all the royals, out in the streets, security will be expensive.
The cost to the exchequer of a bank holiday, is thought to be frighteningly large.
“Each bank holiday costs the UK economy £2.3bn and scrapping them would boost annual output by £19bn, economists say. The Centre for Economics and Business Research (CEBR) think tank wants them to be more spread out over the year to stop businesses “losing momentum”.”
And to suit his importantness, we have two within two weeks. But never mind. He likes things done his way (except when Mrs Parked Bowles tells him otherwise.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-17654781
They aren’t quite as harmful to the economy as Ms Truss, but they ARE expensive and make their boasted £100-150 million costs look a bit sick.
The daft thing is it all means nothing. The minute his mother died, he was king.
“The queen is dead; long live the king”
Pfffffff
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I don’t know if this will work. Facebook is weird.
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1. I told a joke on a Zoom Meeting and nobody laughed…
It turns out I’m not remotely funny!
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2. A bloke goes into a cafe near the Arctic Circle and asks the waiter what’s on the menu.
The waiter says, “We have whale meat, whale meat and whale meat. And today’s special is the Vera Lynn.”
“What’s that?” asks the bloke.
“Whale meat again,” says the waiter.
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3. My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.
I said, “Wait, I can change.”
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4. Last year I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family on Christmas.
My wife went mental.
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5. Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, “The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis!”
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6. The wife said she wants a Philips 42 inch for Christmas.
Where the Hell am I going to get a screwdriver that big?
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7. Stevie Wonder is on tour when he turns to one of his roadies and says, “My harmonica isn’t working.”
“What harmonica?” he replies, “You’ve just sucked the chocolate off the side of my crunchie.”
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8. I was at a funeral yesterday when I asked the priest for the WiFi code.
He shouted, “Have some respect for the dead.”
I said, “Is that all in lower case?”
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Yes I know they are getting worse….BUT….if any raise a wee titter then all’s well….
Have a nice day everyone
🙂
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I look forward to your jokes.
There certainly were some loud titters here at Munguin Towers. 🙂
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Excellent funnies. Not remotely funny, teehee!
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Has nobody else noticed that munguin’s resident cartoonist is either an expert on medieval heraldry, or has at least done some research into it? Well done, andimac.
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As well as being a fantastic photographer.
Maybe Charlie will appoint him as Herald Royal in Scotland, and we’ll all have to call him “your grace” (except Munguin, obviously!)
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With ‘friends’like these
“Lord, grant that Marshal Wade
May by thy mighty aid
Victory bring;
May he sedition hush,
and like a torrent rush
Rebellious Scots to crush!
God save the King!”
Take your Oath on Saturday.
Chas won’t be taking any notice of what oath he takes, his marriage vow lasted well.
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About 24 hour, then he was on ship to shore to tell Mrs Parker Bowles he was thinking of her and wishing she was there.
I must look up all the words to the dirge. I bet they are funny.
Liechtenstein uses the same tune, but their lyrics are about the country and it’s beauty… not some old bloke for a family of wierdos who thinks he’s better than everyone else.
High above the young Rhine
Lies Liechtenstein, resting
On Alpine heights.
This beloved homeland,
This dear fatherland
Was chosen for us by
God’s wise hand.
Long live Liechtenstein,
Blossoming on the young Rhine,
Happy and faithful!
Long live the Prince of the Land,
Long live our fatherland,
United by brotherly bonds and free!
source: https://www.lyricsondemand.com/miscellaneouslyrics/nationalanthemslyrics/liechtensteinnationalanthemlyrics.html
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I’ve been to Liechtenstein a couple of times and an experience on the border led me to write this:
Twa Twa-Heidit Earns
Ae day efter lowsin, Ah traivelt bi train owre the border til Owstria.
The neist day, Ah sklimmt a muckle great ben caaed for thrie titties*.
At the tap was a syle o concreit ti staun as mairch-stane, wi the twa-heidit earn o Owstria on the ane side o it, an the like burd o Lichtenstein on the ither.
Gin Ah’d faan aff the tap eastlins, Ah’d hae cam doun wi a dunt, an deed a republican daith.
Gin Ah’d faan aff the tap wastlins, Ah’d hae laundit wi a stott at the fuit o a Habsburg prince.
Gordon Donaldson
*Drei Schwestern, 2,053 m
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🙂
Nice, DonDon…
I wonder if non Scottish Munguinites will be able to understand that…
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It’s not too difficult to understand by we adopted Scots, who hail from Newcastle. It’s familiar for sure, maybe a bit like traditional Northumbrian. 🏞️
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