OK, so try to control yourselves.

Boris Johnson has sworn on a King James Bible to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help him god, for the very first time in his life.

Yeah, right.

According to Jacob Rees Mogg:

@Jacob Rees-Mogg

Boris is doing very well against the marsupials.

What is he drinking? None of the committee is remotely as cute that any marsupial.

And of course, he’ll always have Nads.

Rt Hon Nadine Dorries MP

@BorisJohnson very clear today. Not sure there is a reasonable person in the land who would think that the committee could do anything other than totally exonerate him and not before time either.


Just because we’re millionaires and our suits cost more than you paid for your car, it doesn’t mean that we can’t be photographed among you poor people, or at least around your shoeboxes… oh sorry, are these your houses?

Sir Kier Starmer has promised to put winning in Scotland at the centre of the Labour campaign for their parliament in England. According to the Daily Record (which had a problem spelling Starmer’s name) the nobleman leader of Labour, who prefers “God save the king” to “The Red Flag”, will make a big effort to win seats in our country.

“However, with the Tories and the SNP struggling (are they?), Labour is polling at around 30 per cent, only 10 points behind the Nationalists. If the gap continues to narrow, party insiders believe Labour could win dozens of seats. Starmer, who has been a regular visitor to Scotland of late, convened a shadow cabinet meeting at which Sarwar briefed colleagues. An insider said that without improving in Scotland Labour would need to be 15 points ahead to topple the Tories across the UK, adding, that with support in Scotland, it falls down to 9.”

So, come on Scotland, vote Labour so that England can ditch the Tories.

Labour used to be immensely popular in Scotland when they were a left of centre party that largely worked for ordinary people. I can understand that.

Then when New Labour came along with their “if you can’t beat them, join them policies” they still won seats here, possibly out of habit (I still heard people saying that Blair’s New Labour was the party of the working classes) and in some cases because actual Tory voters knew there was no point in voting Conservative here (eg, Ian Murray, the man who refused to serve in Corbyn’s shadow cabinet because he was a socialist, but also Murphy and Harris and various others) so they voted for right wing Labour.

I imagine Sir Starmer will have a job persuading Scots to jump on his right of centre bandwagon, embrace England’s Brexit and all pull in a rule Britannia way together behind Old Charlie and Mrs Parker Bowles.


Don’t forget me, Munguin. I live here too.

37 thoughts on “MID-WEEK LAUGH”

  1. His luck is still there, must be strange that he was the Chairman of the meeting.

    Tried a few minutes and gave up, he called cummings an unreliable witness.

    Everyone else is blamed, they didn’t tell him he was breaking the LAW.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Odd, isn’t it?

      I realise I live in a different jurisdiction, but the rules were more or less the same most of the time.

      And even without the aid of an Eton and Oxford education, I realised that during lockdown I should not go into my neighbour’s house when he invited me.

      I had nothing to do with framing these rules and yet somehow I knew.

      Cumming did everything for him until he upset Princess Carrie Antionette by calling her NutNuts and thus had to be sacked.

      Incidentally, I’m not sure you can legally dismiss an employee for calling your batshit wife, NutNuts.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Rachel Clarke
    We didn’t have parties to “boost morale”
    We didn’t have quiz nights
    We didn’t have champagne
    We watched our colleagues die though
    We were STEEPED in death
    We kept going
    We had to
    We kept on
    So don’t you DARE say your parties were “necessary”

    You make me sick.

    Hear hear Dr Clarke.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Heard he finished with a lie, he enjoyed the meeting.

    Take it that the bible if off for refurbishment.

    People couldn’t visit elders and funerals had restrictions BUTT the buffoon could have urgent drinks at work leaving assemblies.

    No rules for the flounder, just the rest of us.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. At least they were able to come up with an actual King James version …
        For Kate Forbes & viewers in Scotland…the Herald would have photoshopped it in

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Isn’t it funny that they put a bible in Boris Johnson’s hands to make him look good, god fearing and honest… and photoshop a bible into an SNP person’s hands to make her look like a narrow minded bible basher.

          Maybe it’s the difference between Scotland and England.

          Interestingly, on the same theme.

          Some of the Johnsonite Tories, most notably Dories, have complained about Johnson being grilled by the committee for three hours… a committee which seems to have had more Tory MPs than anything else. Poor Boris!

          However, when Nicola was accused of breaking the ministerial code, she was grilled for eight hours.

          She did not employ a high grade lawyer that cost the taxpayer £200,000 and I don;t remember Nadine complaining.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. As the pictures show, they took a still of her in parliament and photoshopped a bible into her hand. They are supposed to be a newspaper not a comic.

          I’m pretty sure that that is actionable.

          Also, the story that Scots are paying more for electricity is, from what I can see of it, made to sound like this is the fault of Scotland or our government

          It isn’t of course, as we know. Power over ‘power’ is reserved to England. It is their fault.

          I’d very much like to know why we pay more… Over to Westminster…


    1. It’s absolutely amazing that he thought these excuse would get him off.

      But he’s been like that all his life and getting the sack for lying doesn’t seem to teach him anything.

      He’s without shame.


  4. I blame Rhee-Smugg’s marsupials on predictive text. Obviously, he meant Martians, because neither he nor his fellow members of the regime live on the same planet as the rest us, who are proud members of the common ruck and polloi.

    Most duck-billed platypodoi have a better grasp of reality than old Smuggles, though, as most people would agree if they thought about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “I blame Rhee-Smugg’s marsupials on predictive text”

      Nah, the only ones he’s heard of are kangaroos and wallabies. So he was calling them “bounders” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. That marsupial list didn’t include wallabies! Anyway Pannik’s reaction was paid for by the taxpayer. Apparently Mr and Ms Average paid for the Liar’s legal fees. Well you didn’t expect him to do so did you…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Reading about the rich cynic’s ‘Tax Returns’ on Murphy’s blog.

    Turns out it isn’t the tax return it’s a summary of.

    His tax rate paid is calculated at 20% as his declared income comes mainly from Dividends which are taxed at FIVE Percent.

    Nice day to release the paperwork.

    Anybody notice the lie in Parliament, he’s reduced inflation and is paying half of our energy bills.

    The Police have an aim to recruit 10,000 new officers and that has reduced convictions, nothing about the virus or the strike of lawyers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nothing dodgy about that then, eh?

      Yes, a good day to hide bad stories.

      You’d have thought that what’s happening to Johnson would be some sort of a lesson to him about lying to parliament.

      Actually, wasn’t he at some of these parties? Did he never say that the rules had not been broken?


      1. Still mad as a brush, Tris.
        The strangest thing happened over the lockdown. Get this
        I had to call an ambulance for,Mrs D. She was in brutal pain.
        20 mins after arrival, I had a new baby.
        How’s that for madness?

        Liked by 2 people

  7. Don’t know if I ever told youse my Boris story.

    In the imperial parliament election of 1997, he was the Tory candidate here. Now, our steelworks had been shut down a few years before in an exercise of asset-stripping (story here: http://www.thejudge.me.uk/Rants/Rants_20101104.htm ).

    On his peregrination around the constituency, he popped into the shop which stood more or less opposite our house. Behind the counter was the shop manager, who was a local Labour councillor. In front of the counter was my mother, a woman with a withering opinion of politicians in general and Tory ones in particular.

    She duly gave the wretch ‘down the banks’, and I attribute that ‘confused baby’ expression Johnson has whenever he’s flummoxed to his encounter with Mam.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL Well done to Nigel’s mam!

      Seriously interesting piece, Nigel.

      Similar things happened all over the UK in the 80s. And people had to leave and make their way to the South East of England where there was a massive expansion because of the banking/finance/insurance business that Mrs Thatcher assured us was the future of Britain.

      It left devastation behind. Perhaps not as badly as it did in your town, but none the less, it was devastation.

      People who had spent their lives in factories, mines, foundries, ship yards, mills, whatever were supposed to get jobs in the next great thing… call centres.

      Never mind what skills they had or didn’t have.

      I was particularly struck by your final comments with which I wholeheartedly agree.

      But for as long as we take all this crap lying down, that is the way that it will be. If only we were a bit more like the French.


  8. With regard to Labour’s misrule of the health service, our local board has been put back into ‘special measures’ after only being out of them for a few months. The non-executive members of the board – who were there to hold the executive ones to account – were dismissed by Milady Morgan, the minister. She claimed that she didn’t have the powers to get rid of the executive members (who were the ones causing most of the problems).

    The chair of the board resigned, and yesterday issued this damning statement about the obfuscations, evasions and outright lies committed by Eluned Morgan and the whole Labour establishment. It makes for sobering reading:


    As I’ve said before, whatever else you do, don’t let corrupt, incompetent BritNat Labour ever get hold of your health service again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When “Labour” … or what passed for Labour under Blair… was in charge here, they started the process of farming out various aspects of health to the private sector.

      Dentistry became virtually privatised with people paying for insurance policies, at the same time as they paid their NI contributions to the Brits for that service to be provided.

      Other areas became semi privatised. And of course, were run to suit the provider rather than the patient.

      I found myself, one morning, driving a friend to a hospital around 30 miles away for some tests.

      When we got there he was told that they weren’t sure when he would be taken. Everyone had to arrive a 9 am, and would be seen throughout the day.

      My friend was distressed because it meant that I was stuck there, possibly for the day, as well as him. I told him it was fine (it wasn’t) and said I’d drive back to Dundee and he should phone me when he wanted picking up (although that meant 120 miles driving).

      Fortunately it was a test that had involved fasting and as he was diabetic, he was taken first…. He was able to run down the corridor after me and tell me just to sit in the car, so I didn’t need to do the extra 60 miles.

      When the SNP came to power, these contracts were terminated and dentistry was semi resorted to being a public service.

      But we must never forget what Labour tried to do to cut health service.

      As I understand it, in England there is now virtually no NHS dentistry. But still NI hasn’t reduced, rather it increased.

      Rip off Britbin.


    1. He’s lovely, isn’t he? It’s like he’s saying …”Oi, penguins aren’t the only photogenic animals around here…”

      Quokka just sent me an article for you about spiders. It appears they have discovered new ones in Australia.

      “A new ‘rare and giant’ spider species found in Queensland has sent scientists into a spin but fears are growing they may soon be gone thanks to land clearing. ”

      There’s something to look forward to on Sunday. 🙂


  9. There were invites.
    There was food.
    There was booze.
    There was fighting.
    There was people throwing up.
    There was people camping over overnight.
    There was shagging.

    But it wasn’t a party.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All in a day’s work…

      So if we believe that that was not a party, bu a day at the office, it’s maybe time we were questioning why the people at the top in the English government spend a working day drinking, fighting, vomiting, and copulating and perhaps if that is the best way to spend the taxpayers’ dime?

      And then maybe we should fire their asses?


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